Chapter - Tariq “Reek” Horton
TARIQ “REEK” HORTON
I was getting into my truck on the block when Malik called. “Yeah?”
“The neighbors in her apartment.”
My hand paused on the steering wheel. “Word?”
“Yep. That live-in-the-gym-ass nigga. He just went inside.”
I looked out the windshield at nothing for a second.
Malik was the same security detail I had on her in Thailand, and when she moved into that condo, I kept him on her.
A big, Black man sitting outside her apartment every day would raise too many flags with the neighbors and management and bring too much attention to who Ava is linked to.
So, Malik placed discreet cameras in the hallway, and watched from outside in his car, keeping eyes on the building.
Over the last few weeks, he had told me how Ava and Kam worked out together damn near every day. He told me the nigga would walk her to her door after they left the gym. Sometimes he stepped inside for a few minutes. It looked innocent, but I hated hearing about it.
“How long he been in there?”
“Only a few minutes. He brought her some food. I heard on the camera he was delivered someone else’s food, so he thought he’d share it with her since it was so much.” Then Malik asked, “What you want me to do?”
Every territorial part of me wanted to tell him to go in there and kill that nigga.
But I kept it cool. “Fall back. It’s all good.”
Malik was quiet for half a second, probably knowing I, in fact, did not think it was all good.
“A’ight,” he finally replied.
I ended the call and sat there gripping the wheel.
Jealousy was a fucked-up feeling. I could handle anger. I knew what to do with that. But jealousy sat in a man differently. It made you feel stupid and exposed all at once. It made my thoughts turn petty and violent.
Kam kept hitting that spot in me every time I heard his name.
The worst part was that he made sense for her. Any man that had good intentions for her did.
Over the last few weeks, I had been trying to learn how to be a father. I had been present for Ava. But the more present I became, the more my feelings for Ava grew into something harder to ignore. She was beautiful, independent, and she was carrying my child. That made her angelic in my eyes.
Another man could step into spaces I was still fumbling and give her everything she wanted. Kam could probably wife her without needing a fucking pep talk first. That thought made my stomach turn every time it came across my mind.
I leaned back in the seat and shut my eyes for a second.
I had spent my whole life feeling claustrophobic at the thought of being tied down.
Marriage sounded like a room with no windows.
Commitment sounded like one more way to fail somebody.
Family sounded good when it was somebody else’s, but every time I imagined it attached to me, something in me started fighting like I was being buried alive.
And yet Ava and this baby kept pulling me toward exactly that.
My phone vibrated.
I looked down expecting it to be Malik again. But it was Ava.
The second I opened the text, everything in me went cold: I’m on the way to the ER. I fell earlier, and I’m bleeding now. I’m going to U of C.
For a second, I couldn’t move.
Then I started the truck and the tires screeched when I pulled off the curb.
I ran every red light. The whole ride, all I could think about was losing the baby, Ava being scared and hurting, and the grief of those possibilities was crushing.
I didn’t want to lose my son. I didn’t want Ava to have to carry that kind of sadness either.
By the time I got to the ER, I jumped out, hit the entrance, and went straight to the reception desk.
“I’m here to see Ava Reynolds.”
The woman behind the desk looked up, offended by my panicked approach. She started typing and after seconds that felt like hours told me, “They took her straight to the back.”
The second she told me the room number, I was gone. I pushed through the double doors and kept rushing down the hall until I found the room. Then I stepped inside and saw Ava on the bed and Kam sitting in the chair beside her.
That stopped me dead in my tracks. I looked at him and barked, “Get out.”
Ava recoiled in embarrassment. “Reek, don’t be rude.”
Kam stood up anyway, but he was calm. “It’s cool,” he told her. “I don’t need to be here, now that he is here. You good?”
I had to gnaw on my bottom lip to keep from turning this ER into a fucking morgue. “Nigga…If she not, she don’t need you to fix it.”
Ava cringed while telling him, “Thank you for bringing me.”
“Of course.” Then he walked out, ignoring my presence.
I walked closer to the bed as he cleared the doorway. Ava’s eyes were wet. She had one hand protectively over her stomach.
I wanted to ask her what her feelings were for that nigga, why he was even there, but this wasn’t the time and that wasn’t what was important right now. So, instead, I asked, “What’s going on? Have they given you an exam yet?”
Ava looked pissed at me, but her fear was overruling her anger. “They’re sending someone in to do an ultrasound.”
Just then, Dr. Harrison came in with the ultrasound machine.
Ava was surprised to see her. “Dr. Harrison?”
“Hey,” she smiled at Ava. “I got notified that you were down here because of a fall. I have a little break in my schedule, so I came to check on you myself.”
That seemed to give Ava some relief.
Dr. Harrison rolled the machine over, explained what she was there to do, and squirted gel on Ava’s stomach. I walked to the side of the bed, close enough that if Ava reached for me, I would be right there.
I held my breath without realizing it, staring at the screen while Dr. Harrison moved the wand.
As we waited, it hit me how my feelings had changed.
I would never have thought that I would be sitting here, praying that this child was okay, and fearing the moment if it wasn’t.
Once I felt that kick, I was attached to it and instantly wanted to protect it with everything I had.
Just then, the room filled with the sound of a heartbeat. It was strong, fast, and steady.
Ava let out a loud sigh of relief. I didn’t realize how much I had been bracing myself until I felt my own body loosen.
Dr. Harrison smiled. “There it is.”
Grateful tears started to flow from Ava’s eyes.
“The bleeding could be from the fall irritating your cervix,” Dr. Harrison explained while moving the wand across Ava’s stomach.
“It could also be from strain, pressure, or a little separation in tissue that can happen. It doesn’t mean the baby is in danger.
Sometimes women bleed and everything is fine.
What I’m looking at right now is the baby’s heartbeat, movement, fluid, and the placenta.
And right now, all of that looks good. He looks perfect. ”
My eyes darted toward her. “He?”
Ava looked over too. “He?”
Dr. Harrison blinked slowly. “Oh no...” Then she winced. “I’m sorry. It slipped—”
Ava cut in, grinning from ear-to-ear, “It’s okay. I wanted to do a big reveal, but I don’t even care as long as my baby is okay.”
My son.
I looked back at the screen and couldn’t stop staring.
“Czar’s going to have a little best friend,” Ava beamed.
Dr. Harrison finally took her eyes off the screen and said, “Everything looks good. Heartbeat is good. Baby looks active. I’m not seeing anything alarming on the scan.”
That was when the last of the panic finally released me. Relieved, I dragged both hands over my face. I leaned back in the chair and looked at the screen one more time, at my son still moving around like he didn’t know he had just scared the life out of both of us.
Then I looked at Ava. She still looked shaken, but she was cheesing now.
Dr. Harrison cleaned Ava’s stomach off and gave us the rundown before stepping out.
“Since the scan looks good, I’m not seeing anything that says you need to be admitted.
As long as the bleeding slows down, I will tell the ER attending to sign off on discharge.
At home, I need you resting. No lifting, no climbing, no overdoing it, and definitely no more ladders.
” She gave Ava a pointed look with that last part.
“If the bleeding picks back up, if you start cramping hard, leaking fluid, or if baby’s movement feels off, you come right back in. No waiting.”
Ava nodded. “Okay.”
Then she left us alone.
The second the door shut, Ava let out another sigh of relief. Then she shook her head. “I shouldn’t have been on that damn ladder trying to put that picture up. That was so stupid.”
I reached for her hand and held it. “Don’t do that.”
“No, for real. I could’ve hurt my baby.”
“But thank God you didn’t.”
That made her pause and look at me as if she were shocked that I was genuinely relieved as well.
But I truly wanted nothing but happiness for Ava and our son.
Their peace mattered to me in a way I wasn’t used to feeling about anybody but myself.
And the craziest part was how natural that had started to feel.
Ava looked up at me through wet lashes. “Are you okay?”
I let out a breath and squeezed her hand. “I don’t know.”
Her brows pulled together.
I rubbed my hand over my mouth, trying to figure out what I was feeling.
“I’m just… I’m really happy he’s okay.” Her eyes softened as I told her what I was feeling.
“I’m overwhelmed that I care this much. I’m overwhelmed that I was really in here panicking like that.
And I’m overwhelmed because no matter what I thought my life was supposed to look like, all I want right now is for you and him to be good. ”
The look in her eyes touched me more than I wanted it to. I wanted to keep that look on her face forever.
“What’s up with that neighbor?” Now that the baby was okay, I needed to know what’s up.
Ava went from relieved to uncomfortable. “Kam is my friend.”
I leaned back in the chair, looking at her. “Men don’t befriend pregnant women without intentions.”
When she shrugged a shoulder, that shit stung. “And if he has intentions, then that’s cool. I deserve to be happy.”
Ava was so over my bullshit, that she wasn’t even scared to tell me that shit to my face. I let her hand go and looked away for half a second, then back at her. “You know how I feel about you. I may have only said it with this dick and a few words, but you know.”
Ava held my gaze. “But you were right when you said I want something real. I’m going to eventually want to get married and build a home for our baby, whether that’s with you or someone else—”
“Really?” I snapped.
But she didn’t flinch. “It’s facts,” she said, shrugging again. “I deserve to be happy and get married one day. If that can’t be you, then it will be someone else, and that someone else will be our child’s stepfather.”
That shit blew me. Rage filled me, making my chest rise and fall fast.
“Can you say you want that?” she pressed. “I appreciate you letting your guard down and being here for the baby, but can you say that you want a relationship, commitment, and marriage?”
I sat there in silence because I still couldn’t force that lie out my mouth, not even for Ava. I wanted her. I wanted my son. I wanted them safe. I wanted them near me. But wanting the whole picture of what came with that without panic?
I still couldn’t say it.
Ava nodded once. “Exactly…Then let me go find someone who does.”
That one sentence felt like getting skinned alive.
But I knew she was right. It was only fair to let her find the kind of love that didn’t come with this much confusion and fear.
She deserved a man who could tell her yes without choking on it, a man who wants the whole picture, not just the pieces of it that came easiest to him.
It was fair but still felt like a brutal death I had to accept.
And the sickest part was that instead of making me run toward my feelings for her, it made me want to run from them even faster. Because if this was what wanting Ava did to me, then letting it grow more was only going to kill me slower.
Ava turned her whole body towards me and looked at me with pleading eyes. “Promise me you won’t kill him.”
My stomach turned. It made me physically ill that she cared that much. “You like him like that?”
“I don’t know him that well to answer that, but I know he shouldn’t die for being attracted to me.”
Looking at her, I had to put my rage aside and realize that it was impossible not to be attracted to her. “He’ll be stupid to not be attracted to you, so I’ll let him live.”
“You promise?”
I slowly nodded my head. “Yeah. Because you asked me to.”
“Thank you.”