Ava Reynolds
Two days later, Reek was trying to convince me to move in with him.
He was standing near the windows with his coat on I was on the couch with one leg tucked under me and the other stretched out because Cairo was sitting low that day and making me uncomfortable.
“I’m not moving,” I said again.
Reek dragged a hand over his beard. “You’re being hardheaded.”
“No, I’m being grown.”
He cut his eyes at me. “Ava.”
I sat up straighter. “I just got this place.”
“And I’m telling you this place is too hard to secure.”
I folded my arms. “You keep saying that like I’m living in a cardboard box with no locks.”
“If somebody gets past the receptionist desk, it will take too long to get here. I can’t have a man standing in your hallway twenty-four hours a day because that’s going to start attracting attention.
Cameras help, but they don’t stop a determined nigga from trying some shit.
We are at war right now. I need you safe. ”
The way he said “need” with such passion nearly made me swoon, but I made myself focus. “I am safe.”
He let out a wry laugh. “Ava, we got shot at in broad daylight at your own event.”
“And I still don’t want to move in with you.”
That offended him. I could tell because his whole body got stiffer. “So then I’ll move in here.”
“No.”
Now his brows pulled together. “Why the fuck not?”
“Because I like my independence.”
He looked at me like I had just told him he was useless. “So being with me means you lose your independence?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“It’s exactly what you said.”
I sighed and rubbed my forehead. “Reek, I literally just started feeling like my own person. First my father, then Saint and Zahra. I like being able to get up and move around on my own. I like knowing this is my space.”
“So what, I’m supposed to just keep letting you sit over here by yourself when I know this setup ain’t the safest?”
“You don’t have to let me do anything,” I snapped. “That’s part of my point.”
He exhaled hard through his nose and looked up at the ceiling for patience. “Ava, I’m trying to think like a man responsible for you and my son.”
“And I’m trying to tell you that responsibility doesn’t mean coming in and rearranging my whole life.”
He stared at me for a second, and this time the silence between us felt less like anger and more like both of us trying not to say anything that would hurt the other person.
Then there was a knock at the door.
I glanced toward the entryway. “That’s Zahra.”
Reek got there before I could even swing my legs off the couch. He opened the door, and Zahra came in pushing Czar in the stroller with her big diaper bag hanging off one shoulder.
The second she stepped in, Reek stepped back to let her through. Then he turned and came over to me like we hadn’t just been arguing. He leaned down and kissed me quickly. I frowned, lightly pushing him away.
He looked at me like I should be ashamed of myself and said, “I’ll call you later.”
I wanted to stay irritated. But the kiss made it hard.
As he turned to leave, his eyes dropped to Czar in the stroller. He had on a little Off-White jogging suit and looked like a grown man.
Reek shook his head with a grin. “Damn. This baby been on a world tour. He stay in the streets.”
Zahra laughed while unbuckling him. “I’m tired of being in the house.”
He chuckled and headed out.
The second the door shut behind him, Zahra looked at me and said, “Why are you pouting?”
“I am not pouting.”
“Yes, you are.”
She took Czar out of the stroller and handed him to me before I could even ask.
The second his warm, little body settled against me, my whole mood softened.
I kissed his chunky cheek and breathed him in.
He smelled like baby lotion, milk, and that sweet clean baby smell that made you want to hold them all day.
His little Off-White suit made him look like a tiny man on the block.
“Hey, handsome,” I cooed, kissing him again.
Zahra watched me for a second, then asked, “What’s wrong?”
I bounced Czar lightly on my lap and sighed. “Reek wants me to move in with him.”
Zahra’s eyes bucked like she was waiting for me to say more. When I didn’t say anything, she told me, “He wants you safe.”
“I know that. But I really like my independence. I literally just got my own place. I finally feel like I can come and go and do things on my own without somebody hovering over me.”
Zahra sat down across from me and nodded slowly. “I get that.”
“And he offered to move in here when I said no, but I don’t want that either.”
She leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. “Ava, when you want a real partner, you do have to learn how to move like a unit most times.”
“That’s what I’m scared of.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to disappear inside somebody else’s expectations again.”
“Moving like a unit doesn’t have to mean losing yourself.
It’s okay to still want some independence.
That’s healthy. The issue is figuring out what’s independence and what’s fear.
You can be somebody’s woman and still be your own person.
You just have to make sure you’re with a man who respects that. ”
I rubbed Czar’s little back while I thought about that.
“Reek is trying,” she added. “Maybe a little too hard and in his own caveman way, but he is trying.”
I laughed softly. “Very caveman.”
“Exactly. So maybe don’t hear everything he says as control right away. Some of it is just him trying to figure out how to be a protector. He just needs to make sure that you don’t feel smothered in the process.”
I thought about that for a second too.
Then I kissed Czar’s forehead and said, “I still don’t want to move.”
Zahra laughed. “And that’s fine. Just say that.
But make sure he knows that wanting your own space doesn’t mean you don’t want him.
You probably bruised that man’s ego when you told him that you don’t want to live with him.
” Then she gave me a sympathetic look. “You just know love that makes you feel like you have to give up yourself. Now you need to learn how to love him without feeling like you’re giving yourself up to do it. ”
By the time Reek let himself into my condo that night, I was already in bed. Since we had finally committed to one another for real, I had given him a key. Every time I heard it turn in the lock, I still smiled and felt peace.
I heard the front door open and shut, then his footsteps through the apartment. They sounded careful, like he wasn’t sure what kind of mood he was walking into after our earlier conversation.
I stayed under the covers with my lamp on low and my phone in my hand, pretending I was still paying attention to whatever nonsense I had been scrolling.
He came into the bedroom, peeking in so cautiously that it made me laugh inwardly.
I cut my eyes up at him. “Why are you creeping?”
“I’m not creeping.”
“Yes, you are.”
He smirked a little and came closer to the bed. “I was making sure it was safe to enter.”
He stood there by the side of the bed for a second, then reached down and dapped my stomach the way he always did now.
“What’s up, lil’ man.” Then he rubbed my belly once and added, “Your mama been acting up.”
That made me smile even though I was still a little irritated.
“That’s because you act like a caveman.”
He sat down on the edge of the bed. “That’s because you act like security is oppression.”
I sighed and pushed myself up against the headboard a little more. “Reek.”
He glanced over at me, waiting.
“I’m sorry.”
That surprised him enough that I almost laughed.
“For what?” he asked.
“For earlier. For getting so defensive.” I rubbed my hand over my stomach and looked down at it for a second before looking back at him.
“I know you’re trying to protect me. I know where it comes from.
I just… when men start deciding where I should live or how I should move without really asking me, it triggers me.
My whole life, a man with money and power acted like he knew what was best for me, and his money always came with me losing some say over my own life.
So, when you come in trying to move me around for my safety, I hear your intention, but I also hear old shit. ”
He nodded once, slowly. “I get that.”
“I know you’re not Mercer,” I said quickly, because I didn’t want him thinking I was putting them in the same box. “I just need you to understand why I reacted like that.”
He reached over and put his hand over mine on top of my stomach. “I do understand. I’m not trying to take over your life. I’m trying to keep you safe. But I hear you.”
I exhaled, appreciating that we had been able to so lovingly and respectfully smooth this over. “And I hear you too,” I admitted. “I know the building isn’t ideal right now. I know we’re at war. I know you’re not just talking to talk.”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “So, we good?”
“Depends.”
He raised a brow. “On what?”
“I want to enjoy being independent for a little while longer since I’ve never experienced it before, so I still don’t want to move. But you can do whatever you need to, to make yourself feel like I am safe here.”
He breathed long and hard and then nodded. “Fine.”
“Thank you, baby.” I smiled dramatically, making him chuckle.
Then, just because I needed him to know I wasn’t rejecting him, I added, “I love that you care.”
His whole expression softened in a way that made my stomach flutter. He leaned over and kissed me slowly, like he was sealing the apology and understanding with love. Then he stood and started stripping off his hoodie.
That was when he glanced toward the window and stopped.
“Baby.” He turned fully toward the big window in my room. The curtains were pushed back, and the top half was cracked open enough to let cold air drift in. “It’s February and snowing.”
I poked my lip out. “But I’m so hot.”
He stared at the window, then at me. “It’s fucking freezing in here.”
“I am pregnant. I cannot help that my body is doing hellish things.”
He barked out a laugh.
“I wake up sweating. I’m hot all day. I’m suffering.”
He walked over to the window. “This is insane.”
I folded my arms. “You bet’ not close it.”
He stood there for a second like he was trying to decide whether to argue more or just accept that he was in love with a pregnant woman who liked her bedroom climate set to meat locker.
I raised a brow dramatically. “Luckily, we don’t live together, so you can go to your own place if it’s too cold.”
He stuck his middle finger up at me as he came back to the bed, stripped down to his draws, and slid under the blanket beside me.
The second his cold feet touched my leg, I jumped and yelped, “Oh my God!”
He grinned. “Mm humph.”
I laughed and pushed at his shoulder while he pulled me against him anyway, with one hand settling over my stomach.
I let out a satisfied breath and smiled into the pillow.