Chapter 18
Nora: #Love-dar
G abs and I are the first to reach Kelly’s. I’m glad it is so, because it gives us some time to prepare ourselves for the act to follow. We walk over to our favorite booth and sit opposite each other.
“Um, shouldn’t we sit on the same side?” Gabs asks. “I mean, that’s how I usually sit with most of my dates, especially if there are other friends joining us.”
I nod. “Good observation,” I remark, standing up and moving to his side. “You think it’d be easier if we told them the truth?”
“I’ve thought about it, but for the ruse to work, we need to act the same everywhere, or else it’ll be only a matter of time before the truth reaches Mom or someone from my new office. But I understand if you don’t wanna lie to them. We can still call this thing off. It isn’t too late.”
Lie? Unfortunately, that’s what I’m worried about. That for me, it’s not a lie, but I have to pretend it is, at least till the phase lasts. But pretend in front of my best friend, not the rest of the world. And that’s troubling.
And what if it’s not a phase? What if I’m really attracted to him? What then? Will I be okay after this charade is over? When he finds someone else? Will we be able to go back to being friends?
Jesus! I’ve brought this upon myself. I need to trim my feelings in the bud. This will not work. I wish I could talk it over with him. Maybe I should. But will just the act of discussing not change the way things are?
He holds my hands and squeezes them. Does he know what I’m thinking? Does he feel the same? His eyes are focused in front of us. Lily and Eva are walking toward us.
“Hey,” Lily almost yells. “I didn’t know Gabs was going to be here as well. I thought it was a girl’s day out. No offense Gabs.”
“None taken,” Gabriel replies with a smile. His smile is so cute. “We have to drive over to my parents’ place together so it made little sense for me to drive her here, then drive back, and then return to pick her up. I hope you don’t mind my presence. I can move over to another table.”
“Of course not. More the merrier. How’s your new office? How are the people there?” Eva asks as both of them take their seat opposite us.
Gosh. Are they never going to notice that Gabs is holding my hand? Not that I mind.
“It’s good. I still miss you all, but given everything, it’s nice. I have some ideas that I need to present to the Board in some time.”
“Good. Though I don’t like your moving on from us so quickly,” Eva says with a pout, feigning hurt. “You could’ve pretended to miss us more and said you didn’t like your new office at all, that the people were bad and you were aching to come back.”
Gabs laughs. I love to see him laugh. He looks like an angel, a very hot and handsome angel.
“Ahem!”
I come out of my reverie. It’s Kelly, standing beside me with her notebook, ready to take our orders.
“The usual for us,” I say.
She’s staring at me, then Gabs, then at our hands, which are still intertwined.
“Are you sure you want the usual? No change?” she says, raising her eyebrows.
That’s when Lily’s eyes turn into large spheres. Eva is still blissfully unaware. I can feel the blood rushing into my cheeks.
“Oh. My. God!” Lily shrieks. “Is this…? Are you…? Really? When did this…? Oh, my God.”
Eva is as confused as a grandmother who’s starting off on social media for the first time and doesn’t even know what to write in her bio.
“What’s happening, Lily?” she asks. “What am I missing?”
Maybe she’s like the grandmother who doesn’t even know what a ‘bio’ is.
I turn to Gabs. He’s smiling and nodding, completely in control of the situation. “That’s what we wanted to tell you. But you beat us to it,” he says with a shrug, the smile never leaving his face.
“Nora? You vixen! Hiding this big a thing? From us ?”
I bite my lips. “Didn’t want to jinx it,” I say. That statement always works like a charm.
Kelly bends down and kisses me on the forehead. “I’m so happy for you both,” she says. “I’ll bring all of your usuals. And today, it’s on me.”
She scurries off and picks up a bowl and a sheet of paper, then shrieks to the other customers, many of whom are regulars here. “Nora and Gabriel are a thing now. C’mon, pay up whoever needs to pay. Especially you, Graham, for saying that my love-dar picks up signals where none exist. I know my love-dar has never been wrong. Ever.”
Three of them reluctantly, including Graham, stand up and take out their wallets while a few others shriek in joy.
“What’s happening?” I ask.
“You don’t know?” Lily chuckles. “They’ve been betting on you two getting together for the past year or so. The bet is revised every six months. Kelly has been betting on you and losing till now.
As Kelly comes over to our table with the bowl, she winks at Lily. “Finally we win this time, girl,” she says and moves to the next booth.
“You’ve been betting as well?” I’m shocked that my close friends have been betting on my love life.
Lily shrugs. “What can I say? I always knew you guys were a perfect match. I’m astonished it took you guys so long to find that out. But better late than never.”
“So you don’t think this is a prank or something?”
Both Eva and Lily give us shocked glances. “No. Is it?” Eva asks. “Even I could see you guys were great together. And my love-dar is usually defective.”
“It’s non-existent, Eva,” Lily and I say, almost in harmony.
We drink our free hot chocolate and eat our free doughnuts and as we leave, we get thumbs-ups and ‘about times’ and ‘we’re so happy for yous’ from a lot of regulars who we don’t know but have seen in the café so many times.
As we wave goodbye to Lily and Eva and start our drive to Gabs’ parents’ home, he turns to me and says, “Well, that was easy.”
Yeah, way too easy.
I respond to him after some time. “Doesn’t it trouble you that none of them seemed shocked? They even had bets placed on us! I mean, what the hell, right? People we don’t even know are betting on us being together or not. Shit, man! You don’t really know anyone, it seems. And Lily! She’s been betting as well. And she’s never said a word to me. Never.”
Gabs is quiet.
“Say something. Am I the only one who’s pissed by what happened at Kelly’s? And Kelly! That woman. She made some money on us today.”
“Well, she did give us free food, didn’t she?”
“Yeah. But… I don’t like it. I don’t like my personal life being the talk of the town.”
Gabs gives me a quick glance before looking ahead at the road again. He’s smiling.
“What’re you smiling for?”
“Aren’t you the social media influencer and stuff?”
“Yeah, so?”
“Isn’t your life mostly public? Don’t you keep posting pics about where you are, the food you eat, the books you read, the dress you wear, your opinion on topics and God knows what else? Your followers probably know everything that’s going on in your life.”
“I do. But that’s my choice. I choose what part of my life I want to share. But this… what happened today, is weird. Don’t tell me you don’t see it like that?”
“To be honest, I don’t. It’s their choice if they want to bet on something happening without influencing it. I’d be upset if they’d done anything to make it happen. But if they didn’t, what do I care? It’s their opinion. Everyone can have one, right? Like you have opinions about what’s happening around the world and what other people are doing and post about them.”
Putting it like that, it doesn’t seem so bad. And I feel a little ashamed at having such double standards.
“Plus,” Gabs continues after a bit, putting his hand on my thigh and giving it a squeeze. “It’s nice to see that so many people care about us, to actually think about us being good for each other or not. It may or may not be true. Even so, they think about us and for our happiness. Isn’t that nice?”
Shit! Now I feel super awkward. First because of his hand, which is making me all horny, and second his thoughts, which make me feel so small compared to him. I don’t know how he can always see the bigger picture, always see the good in people.
The cityscape of Boston gradually gives way to the quaint charm of Cambridge, and I’m filled with mixed emotions, as always.
Gabriel’s house, of course, had always been my favorite place. I remember the time when I went over to his house and climbed in through his window for the second time in a week.
He shifted a little in bed and made room for me. “Again today?” he asked. I nodded.
“That’s two times this week.”
I nodded again.
My father worked in the admin department of the grad school, a position of authority that did little to conceal the monster he was at home. He used to drink and whenever he drank too much; he came home and fought with Mom. I could still hear the shouting, the crashes, and the sound of my mother crying, her sobs echoing through the walls of our house.
As time went by, the fights got worse and he started slapping her as well. Usually, it happened once every two or three weeks, but this time it was the second in the same week.
Whenever things got bad—and they often did—I would run. I would grab my coat, bolt out the door, and head straight to Gabs’ house. His home was my sanctuary, a place where I found solace and safety. Gabs’ father, George, was a respected professor at the college. He was kind and gentle, everything my father wasn’t. He never questioned my sudden appearance, simply welcoming me with a warm smile and a comforting presence.
I still remember, even then, when I would rant to Gabs about Mom and why she didn’t have the courage to leave Dad, he tried so hard to make me see her point of view. He tried to make even her decisions, or lack of them palatable. I don’t believe she thought like that, though, but he tried to make her seem not half as bad or half a coward as she then was.
Taking Gabs’ advice, I once even tried to get Mom to call the police, but she wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t bear to see her crying and trying to stifle her screams so that neighbors wouldn’t listen. Though I don’t think she was fooling anyone, especially since the hitting started. No one bought the ‘I slipped in the kitchen’ crap anymore.
I hated Dad for doing that to Mom, but I hated Mom even more for putting up with that shit. I spent a large part of my childhood at Gabs’ home. It was almost a second home for me. They usually had an extra plate set for me for dinners.
Going to college was my escape. Leaving home felt like shedding a heavy, oppressive weight. I threw myself into my studies and the new life I was building for myself. I rarely went home. In my sophomore year in college, Mom finally divorced Dad and Gabs forced me to rebuild the bridges I thought I had burned with Mom. He made me see yet again that she needed my strength and support, as did Carla.
Over the years, I’ve come to like Mom again. She’s a different woman now, confident, and happy. But the best part was getting close to Carla. She was a year younger than me, but I spent so little time at home that I barely knew her. As the fights at home got worse, Mom sent her to live with my aunt, Mom’s sister, for a few years. But over the past years, thanks to Gabs’ insistence, I’ve become close to her. We call or Facetime each other at least once a week and she comes and visits me whenever she can. It’s been good.
Gabs’ voice pulls me from my thoughts. “Hey, you okay?” he asks, glancing at me with concern.
I force a smile. “Yeah, just thinking about old times.”
He reaches over and gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. “Yeah, quite some memories we have here. Anyway, we’re almost there. It’ll be good to see everyone.”
I nod, genuinely looking forward to the evening. I loved George, though I don’t think Daphne was ever really fond of me, especially since her return from Paris after her father’s death. She was never the same to anyone after that, especially people who were not as rich as her, and we were far from that standard.
As we turn onto the familiar street, I take a deep breath, letting go of the past for a moment and focussing on the present. Gabriel needs me now and I’ll be there for him, as he has been there for me during my worst years. I’ll do whatever it takes to help him out of the mess Daphne wants to put him in and do it in a way that doesn’t affect our friendship.