16. Onyx
Onyx
Relief flooded him when Dominic finally released him, and Onyx fled to the bathroom so he could scrub his hand and stomach clean of all remnants of what they’d just done. He had driven most of what they had done, and he wasn’t sure he liked that.
No, he knew he didn’t. Pleasure or not, he hadn’t actually wanted it.
But it had been enough to keep Dominic’s fingers out of his ass. If he had to initiate sex to keep that from happening, would he continue to do it?
He didn’t know.
He stared at himself in the mirror, hating what he saw.
When he got back into the bedroom, he returned to bed, pulling the blankets up over his waist to hide his bottom half from view.
“What was it about last night that upset you?” Dominic asked, barely waiting for Onyx to settle before speaking.
Onyx couldn’t say the question surprised him; it didn’t. But he didn’t want to talk about it.
He didn’t think Dominic was going to accept that as an answer, though.
“Everything,” he muttered.
Dominic hummed. “What specifically? Why?”
Dominic and his fucking questions.
Onyx glowered at him. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to even think about it. But the Bancroft witch was going to fucking make him, wasn’t he?
“I didn’t…” He gritted his teeth, hating how he’d reacted so strongly to the blond witch and his pet. “I didn’t like seeing him here. And his pet was pathetic. I don’t want anything to do with them.”
Dominic hummed again. “I underestimated the impact his presence would have on you. Another miscalculation.” He sighed. “I’m sorry for that.”
Onyx huffed. A miscalculation. Yeah, it seemed Dominic had made a lot of those, if he was to be trusted that he actually felt that way. He’d done a lot of things with Onyx that he claimed to regret now, that he’d miscalculated over, and that didn’t make things any better or easier.
“I had thought to offer the opportunity for increased social activity, but it seems that idea was not well-received.” Even though it wasn’t quite a question, Dominic arched an eyebrow at Onyx, inviting a response.
“I have Shane,” Onyx retorted stubbornly. “I don’t need to be around people who just want to gossip until their masters call them to suck their cocks under the table.”
Dominic frowned slightly. “Was something inappropriate said? Tell me.”
Onyx’s brow furrowed. “No? They were just…”
Everything I don’t want to become.
“They were boring and stupid and pathetic, that’s all,” he said dismissively.
“I see,” Dominic said. “Well, I won’t attempt that again, then.”
Onyx didn’t think Dominic saw at all. But the important thing was that he wouldn’t do it again, and Onyx nodded. He didn’t want to be around them. He didn’t want to look in the mirrors of their eyes and see what Dominic wanted him to become.
At least, what he was pretty sure Dominic wanted him to become.
“No matter what happens, or how I act, I’m never going to go uncollared,” Onyx mumbled after a moment. He touched his throat, where the unbreakable collar sat against his skin to neutralize his magic. “Why does he get to go without a collar?”
“Because he is not dangerous,” Dominic replied simply.
“Tristan doesn’t wear a collar because Nathan doesn’t have any concerns about him trying to escape, or harming anyone, or doing damage.
The only way that you would be able to go uncollared is if I had utter certainty that you would not and could not be a risk, and that, my tiger, would leave you so broken that you could not think to act against me.
That is not what I want for you. I value the brightness in your eyes far too much to bestow that future on you. ”
Of course Tristan wasn’t dangerous. Of course he was that pathetic.
But Onyx frowned at Dominic, not sure he was following. “But you wanted me to do what they were doing. You wanted me to be like they were.”
Didn’t he?
Dominic chuckled. “Is that what you thought, my tiger? No, you will never be as they are, and I do not wish you to be so. By necessity, your existence is fairly restricted, and there are few ways in which I might be able to offer alternative social opportunities. I had thought they might be an option for you to make acquaintances. Not more than that.”
If he was to be honest with himself — which was not something he was very good at — Onyx would have to admit that he was lonely.
He’d been used to being around people all the time at the rebel camp, and he’d gone from that to almost complete isolation in Dominic’s home.
He had nothing in common with the silent servants and slaves who came in and out, and the only person he could rely on was…
Well.
Someone who’d raped him multiple times, who’d kept him from dying when it had been all he’d wanted to do, yet somehow remained the only one he wanted to be around.
It didn’t feel fair.
“What would I even do with acquaintances?” Onyx asked. “Sit around and have tea or some shit?”
Dominic laughed. “Well, I had intended that if things went well, inquiring as to whether they might be able to come to the house at times, and perhaps spend time playing games in the rec room, or some other such activities.”
Onyx frowned. “Oh.” He still didn’t think he could ever sit and play games with an uncollared witch who so easily called Dominic Onyx’s master.
“Maybe someone else. Not him. Not…” He made a frustrated sound.
“They’re going to expect me to be like they are.
And they gossip about everything, about everyone, and I don’t want to figure out how to navigate people like I’m in school or something! ”
It wasn’t until he said those words that he truly understood what had gone wrong. It went back to all the things he’d never learned how to do, all the things he reacted violently to because he didn’t understand them. It reminded him of everything he’d lost and would never have.
“I admit that I’m not as knowledgeable about viable alternative candidates. I invited these two over primarily because I am well acquainted with their owners. But I shall see what I can do about finding alternatives,” Dominic replied.
Onyx shuddered, the reminder of Tristan’s owner making his skin crawl.
He didn’t think he could stand to be around the slave without thinking about the master, and what if Tristan tried to talk about the things Nathan did to him?
It wasn’t like Onyx could advise that he just find his balls and kill him.
That would end things pretty much immediately.
“Shane’s fine,” Onyx said. “I know… I know you’re pissed at him, but…” He let out a slow breath, not quite looking at Dominic as he added quietly, “It wasn’t his fault.”
It hadn’t been.
Shane had tried to treat him like a person.
Maybe that had been the mistake.
Dominic pursed his lips. “He allowed a volatile situation to escalate catastrophically and did not call me until well after the emergency was underway. ‘Pissed’ is a weak term to cover how furious I am at him.”
“He still called you,” Onyx muttered, which he was more than a little furious about himself. “He could’ve let me die, and he did everything he could to make sure I didn’t.”
Why was he defending Shane? He was still mad at him too, wasn’t he? Except the night before, Shane had been the one to help him calm down, and he couldn’t say he was really angry at him anymore. Just… resigned.
Dominic made a noncommittal noise. “Which is why he’s still alive.” He twisted on the bed and locked eyes with Onyx. “Understand me, Onyx. Nothing and no one will take you from me.”
Unease and a little bit of dread raced through him at the words, and Onyx fidgeted uncomfortably. “Yeah. I kinda figured that part out, thanks.”
He was going to belong to Dominic forever. The vampire blood meant he’d never age, and Dominic… Dominic had no intention of ever letting him go.
Dominic held Onyx’s gaze for a heartbeat longer.
Onyx’s heart rate picked up. “I get it." Because Dominic was fucking obsessed for reasons Onyx would never be able to understand. He could wax poetic all he wanted, but at the end of the day… it didn’t make any sense.
“Good,” Dominic replied, a faint smile ghosting over his lips. He dropped a quick kiss onto Onyx’s mouth before getting out of bed. “What would you like for breakfast?”
Because this was just another normal day, no matter how much Onyx might’ve fallen apart. Life would continue, whether he wanted it to or not.
And that life would be with Dominic.