Dominic
Or breathing.
When his wards had alerted him to Onyx’s spike in agitation, only the fact that the spells monitoring the witch indicated no physical distress had enabled him to end the meeting and dismiss his visitor with some aplomb.
The fury was still close to the surface, but it was something he would have to deal with later, after he’d determined the scope of the damage that had been wrought.
Onyx started to obey, taking a few steps in his direction, then he stopped short and shook his head. “No. If I’m me, if I’m not broken, if I’m not just lucky, I get to say no. Right?”
“Some would say that wanting to say no at all means that you’re not broken.” Dominic held his hand out a beat longer before letting it drop to his side. “You can say no, can’t you?”
“I can say it all I want, but it doesn’t mean anything,” Onyx retorted. “You won’t listen. I’ll still obey. Maybe I’m not broken the way other people are. Maybe I’m just tamed, domesticated, whatever.”
“I have never wanted you domesticated. If I’d wanted that, that would’ve been easy.
” Dominic hummed thoughtfully. “Do you know how easy it is to break someone, Onyx? Six weeks. That’s the longest that anyone, even the strongest willed of people, can last. Most don’t last two.
No, what’s harder is keeping them from breaking while applying pressure. ”
While molding them into the desired form.
“Like you said, you messed up a lot with me,” Onyx snapped. “I’m not… I'm not lucky. No one lucky would’ve ended up here, with you, like this. I’m not.”
Dominic inclined his head. “I’ve made many mistakes with you, Onyx, but I wasn’t trying to break you.
” Crack, yes. His tiger had needed those, but he had held the pieces together rather than letting them fall away and complete the fracturing.
Held together, Onyx was becoming what Dominic desired of him.
He lifted his hand again. “Come here,” he repeated quietly.
Onyx slowly obeyed, halting when he was standing just within touching range. Agitation radiated off of him like something tangible.
He was beautiful this way.
Beautiful, but that energy could turn inward, turn destructive, and damage the foundation that Dominic was carefully forming.
Dominic lightly brushed his fingers over Onyx’s forehead and through his hair. “It’s getting long,” he murmured. “Do you like it this way, or do you want it trimmed shorter?”
“Does it matter?” Onyx retorted.
“Of course it matters,” Dominic said, keeping his voice soft, soothing. “It’s your hair, isn’t it?”
“You’re both… You’re both playing games with my head,” Onyx choked out. “I don’t care. It’s just hair. Shave it off if that’s what you want.”
Dominic chuckled lightly, barely more than a breath of air.
“I would say that I’m not playing games with your head, but I think we both know that’s impossible.
Rather, I will say that I’m not deliberately trying to play any mind games right now.
You’re upset, and sometimes small momentary distractions can help bring thoughts back into focus again to be talked about more directly.
” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Onyx’s forehead.
“I’m sorry he upset you. I’ll send him away. ”
How many pieces the wolf would be in would be determined by how the rest of the conversation went.
“No,” Onyx replied without hesitation. “He’s not trying to upset me. And if you get rid of him, you’ll never let me have anyone else.”
Dominic frowned. “I don’t like that he keeps upsetting you. Someone else will be less disruptive.”
It had taken him longer than it should have to find a candidate as fitting as Shane, but he had expected things of the werewolf that were no longer in his plans for his tiger. That would hopefully make things move more quickly than before.
“I don’t want someone else.” Onyx’s shoulders slumped. “I’ll just… stick to sparring with him,” he mumbled.
Dominic made a noncommittal noise. “Maybe. Will you tell me what he said?”
“You’ll just agree with him anyway,” Onyx muttered. “But then, you know that because you were listening. Weren’t you?”
Dominic chuckled again. “I was actually in a meeting, so I didn’t catch most of it. I was alerted to your agitation and heard only the last part as I was arriving. Why don’t you fill me in?”
Onyx sighed. “He was just telling me that I’m lucky I’m with you and not with someone else. Which you agree with, so there’s no point in being mad at him. I was pretty sure you’d set that up anyway.”
Dominic hummed. He certainly wouldn’t disagree, but the wolf had far overstepped himself by saying anything of the nature. Onyx was still in a fragile enough state that the wrong kind of pressure could prove devastating. “Why does he think you’re lucky?”
Onyx made an irritated sound. “Because you didn’t break me like some werewolf he knows about. Because I get games and things. Because anyone else would’ve made sure I was completely broken instead of encouraging me to act out. I don’t know.”
“Ahh,” Dominic said. “What do you think of that?”
“I think he’s wrong,” Onyx retorted. “That’s why I got upset. I’m not the same person I was. I may not be devoted to you but that doesn’t mean things aren’t… complicated.”
“Of course they’re complicated,” Dominic replied.
“No one could go through what you’ve been through and not be changed by it.
Nature doesn’t allow for it. And you have changed, certainly.
Life changes all of us. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
What part do you think he’s wrong about? All of it?”
“I don’t even know,” Onyx whispered. “I just know that I’m not…” He faltered.
“Not… lucky?” Dominic filled in the missing word.
“That does seem to be a poor choice of words. Do others get what you do? Perhaps there are some, but I imagine they are few. Most do not want what I want. Most would rather have a devoted pet. A safe pet. I don’t want these things.
” He gently cupped Onyx’s face. “I don’t want devotion; I want fire in your eyes.
I don’t want perfect obedience; I like it when you act out, when you argue, when you fight back.
These are the things I enjoy about you, and I don’t want them to stop. ”
Onyx averted his eyes. “Okay,” he said simply.
Dominic stroked Onyx’s cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry you had another day not go so well. What can we do to try to salvage it?”
Onyx smiled humorlessly. “I’m just not meant to have a good day with Shane, I guess. I don’t know. I’m sorry we interrupted your meeting.”
“I’m not sorry. You’re more important than my meeting.” Dominic offered a faint smile. “I’ll try to see what I can do about arranging other companionship for you. Perhaps we could go watch a movie in our little cinema?”
“I want to keep exercising,” Onyx said quietly. “With Shane. I don’t care about the rest. I don’t mind being alone.”
“He upsets you, Onyx." A hint of frustration crept into Dominic's voice. He would keep Shane on to exercise with Onyx if that was what the Rayne witch wanted, but he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea.
But finding someone to replace Shane to train with and exercise with Onyx would be difficult, and unfortunately, the wolf was still the most ideal candidate for those things.
“So do you,” Onyx pointed out. “But that doesn’t make you go away either.”
Dominic laughed softly. “Touché,” he replied.
Onyx sighed. “It’s fine, Dominic. I don’t need companionship.”
“I’d have agreed with that once, months ago.
Now, I don’t. You do need companionship and others that you can socialize with.
Enforced solitude is its own form of torture, after all.
Prisoners in isolation used to go mad. Presumably still do.
” He sighed, then used a finger to tilt Onyx’s face up so he could drop a kiss onto his lips.
“I’ll make something work. But yes, you can keep exercising with Shane. ”
“Thank you." Onyx brushed his lips against Dominic’s before taking a step back. “Let’s watch something.”
Dominic wrapped an arm around Onyx, ushering him toward the door. He would allow Onyx to have Shane if he so chose, but he didn’t have to like it.
Perhaps he’d look for alternatives. Just in case.