Onyx #3
He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears as he huddled up within the crate. He wasn’t going to panic again, not like he had before. He wasn’t going to give Dominic that satisfaction.
It didn’t stop his anxiety from cranking all the way up as tears started to spill all over again.
Minutes passed as the emotions went higher and higher, and he was on the verge of hyperventilating when sight and sound rushed back into his awareness. The crate opened, and Dominic was there, holding out his hand.
“Come here.” Dominic beckoned to him.
If he hadn’t been so afraid of Dominic putting the spell back in place, Onyx would have stayed in the crate — but Dominic had ruined his only sanctuary in the whole place, the one place that was “his.”
It sounded so stupid, even to him, but it had belonged to him. It had been safe.
And now it was fucking traumatizing, and he loathed Dominic for ruining it for him.
“Are you going to put the spell back up if I don’t?” he asked, hiccupping as he wiped at his eyes.
Dominic sighed. “No,” he said, “I won’t. But I’d like you to sleep in the bed.”
Onyx sniffled, unsure of what to say, what to do.
He was miserable, but he was mostly miserable because of the spell — and because his stomach was growling, protesting the missed meal the night before.
He ignored it, and he looked at Dominic with reddened eyes.
“I don’t want to.” His breath hitched, and he braced himself for the spell to drop back in place despite Dominic’s words.
“Please?” Dominic asked.
Tears rolled down Onyx’s cheeks even though he kept wiping at his face. “I just want a little bit of space,” he whispered brokenly. “Why is that so bad? Is that why you punished me? I don’t even know what I did wrong.”
“I was angry." Dominic's voice was soft and almost soothing, somehow. “I was angry because you frightened me so much when you did what you did, and I keep expecting you to try again. And I know you’ve given your word, and you’ve kept it when you’ve given it, but fear is not always a rational thing. And neither is anger. Any space I allow you is space you will use to get more, and I will not lose you, Onyx.”
Dominic had a silver tongue, and he would always say what was in his own best interest. Onyx knew that, even in the state he was in.
He knew that Dominic would say or do whatever he had to.
But Dominic also didn’t seem to be lying to him about much of anything either, so he wavered on whether to believe him.
He still didn’t understand Dominic’s fascination with him, or his need for him.
He didn’t think he wanted to.
“But I need it,” Onyx whispered. “I’m not… I’m not used to this. I don’t like this. I need my own space, Dominic. Even if it’s in here.” And he drew back, deeper into the crate, as he hugged his arms around his knees and curled up more tightly.
“You don’t have to come back to bed,” Dominic murmured, taking a seat on the floor in front of the crate. “But can I hold you for a few moments?”
This was manipulation too.
Onyx rubbed at his eyes again. He didn’t want to go to Dominic, but at the same time, he felt so shaky and off-balance, and there was a part of him that did want to be held.
He hated it, he didn’t understand it, but he found himself nodding anyway.
“Okay.” He slowly scooted out of the crate to go to Dominic.
He let the other man pull him into his arms, closing his eyes.
“Please, Dominic. I need you to listen to me.”
“Thank you,” Dominic murmured. “I am listening, and… I will try.”
Onyx nodded, resting his head against Dominic’s chest. He was drained, so tired he could barely stay awake.
He’d slept fitfully after panicking himself into that crying fit, then he’d woken up much the same; he was exhausted, and after only a few minutes of being pressed against Dominic, he fell back asleep.
Onyx wasn’t sure how much time passed before Dominic nudged Onyx awake again and kissed the top of his head.
“We shouldn’t sleep like this,” Dominic told him, stroking his hair. “Do you want to come to bed or get back in the crate?”
Onyx yawned, blinking blearily. The idea of going back in the crate wasn’t entirely appealing, especially now, even if it would put distance between himself and Dominic.
And he was warm and comfortable in his arms, something he realized with dread that he’d gotten used to.
All the more reason to choose the crate, but he mumbled, “Bed.”
He barely managed to keep his eyes open as Dominic helped him up, undressed him with gentle hands and frequent kisses, tucked him into bed, then wrapped him in his arms again.
Even though he knew he wanted space, he also knew that the crate had been violated as a sanctuary, and he wasn’t sure he could trust that Dominic wouldn’t put the spell back up.
Tomorrow was a new day.
Maybe Dominic would give him what he so desperately wanted, what he so desperately needed.
Onyx had just enough time to doubt it before he fell asleep, caged as ever within Dominic’s arms.