11. ANGUS
Chapter eleven
ANGUS
When Eion grabbed me and kissed me to stop my rambling, it made my toes curl. I liked how he handled the situation; it was certainly better than being shushed. He looked at me like I held answers, but I wasn’t sure what the question was.
“What do you mean when you said your mother ‘had them made’?”
After a minute, the question registered.
Money had always been a non-issue in my life.
If I wanted something, it happened. My Mom would do little things to make me smile.
Feeding the animals at the Sanctuary made me happy, so she helped me do that.
I never really had to explain it to someone before because nobody had been this close.
“Oh. I guess I have something to tell you.” He looked at me and started to pull his hand away.
“No, no. It’s not a pull-away kind of topic.
I hope. Maybe it is. God, I hope you don’t freak out.
Would you freak out? Please don’t freak out.
It doesn’t seem like something you would freak out about. Oomph—”
His lips were on mine again, much quicker than last time. I wished I didn’t have the problem, but when I got nervous, I panicked and started saying the things in my head. I shifted my hips to face him better. His forehead rested against mine. “Okay. Breathe. Then tell me.”
I did as he said, then looked at him. He had such gorgeous eyes. I could see he was curious as he raised an eyebrow. Right, I needed to tell him the money thing. “Okay. Well. It’s not a big deal, but I’m rich.”
“Rich?”
“Yeah. It’s not a big deal, really. You’ve seen my car, and I live in a nice cottage with my mom, and work full-time at the bar.”
“Hmm? Rich enough, you can make snacks for all the animals here for how long?” He said slowly.
“Forever,” I said quietly. He cocked his head at me and then grabbed a couple of the kits. Looked at them, then he petted them for a bit, rolled them on the floor, and made growl noises. It gave me chills, because it was so adorable. It was obvious that he had questions.
“Is the money a problem?”
“No. I. That’s cool.”
I laughed. “You are so freaking cute. Go ahead and ask.”
“I am not sure what to ask.”
Taking a chance, I got on my knees and crawled over Eion’s legs, ending with my knees next to his hips. I kissed him gently, then worked my way down his jaw and sucked on the delicate skin of his neck. “I’m rich, rich,” I whispered in his ear, then used my teeth along the shell.
“Oh. So the treats for the animals are okay. Not a financial burden.”
“Have you heard of the defibrillator?”
“Of course.”
“My great-great-great-grandfather invented it. There might be another great, I forget.” He moaned as I sucked just below his ear. I took that as encouragement. Between delicious noises, he managed to pull back a little.
“That’s pretty rich.”
I nodded. Then I proceeded to kiss him more, wanting to leave him breathless.
The fact that he hadn’t pushed me off made me feel like he was okay with the money.
It was easy for me to understand how that might be intimidating, but I had no plans to shove it in his face or buy him things.
The only things I’d done so far were for the animals, and I couldn’t imagine him turning that down.
“Is it okay if I do things for the animals?”
“Yeah. It’s sweet.” He growled a little from deep in his chest. “Actually, it’s really hot.
” He took my mouth hard and solid, his tongue seeking mine, and when they met, it was a battle of control.
The way he plundered my mouth was sexy and made me ache for him.
I didn’t want our first sexual experience to be in front of all the babies, so after making out for a while, I pulled back.
“We should put the kids away. They are too young to see this kind of thing.” He chuckled, giving me one more quick kiss as I stood up.
I knew he could see the outline of my cock when I stood.
The fact that he turned me on wasn’t really a secret, but I hoped he liked what he saw because I was hard as steel.
I turned around and tried to adjust myself enough to move around.
Barnaby was on the sofa on his back and slept soundly.
“I brought some breakfast. Do we have time to eat before chores?”
He smiled. “We do. And you can feed the bear cubs. Before that, though, I know a great place we can eat.”
We got the food and coffee, then headed up one of the aisles I hadn’t been on before.
As we walked, I realized how big the Sanctuary actually was.
I knew it was thousands of acres, which would have millions, reminding me that Eion had his own stories to tell.
As we got farther away, I could see a whole lot of grass and several types of sheep.
“Oh my god, Eion. You have sheep.”
He grinned at me. “I do have sheep.” He opened the gate and gestured for me to go through.
“There were some barrels and other toys in the enclosure.” The sheep started walking up, curious about what was happening, while Eion flipped over the bins and dusted off the dirt.
“Come sit. We can eat and have coffee.” The burritos were still warm when I pulled them out.
Several of the sheep looked at us. Barnaby lay next to Eion, uninterested in the animals around him.
“They aren’t as inquisitive as goats, but they will sniff you. Something about them is soothing.”
I had to agree with him. These guys were fun to sit and watch. We were close enough to see his trailer, but I couldn’t see the front buildings. “This is really peaceful.”
I took his hand and laced our fingers, and he gave me a soft, warm look.
It made those butterflies take full flight in my chest, and my cock took interest. I was a man after all.
It had been way too long since I was with someone, and even longer since I desired a man for something more than a means to an end.
Now my body felt something long forgotten—desire—and wanted more.
We sat there quietly, and I couldn’t stop myself.
I carded my fingers through his hair and brought his lips to mine.
It was a soft kiss, one full of emotion, and through that kiss I tried to convey what Eion had started to mean to me.
He was a good man, and I wanted to know everything about him, and I wanted this kiss to say those things.
He pulled me closer. I noticed that his lips were gentle, but his tongue explored, and I wanted him to find whatever it was he needed.
It felt wonderful to have these feelings, but before too long, I had to lick and kiss his neck.
My lips moved over his shoulder and left small marks as I sucked on the muscle.
His skin was warm, slightly salty, and he smelled clean, but it was intoxicating to me.
I wanted to bury my face there and get drunk on his scent.
“I really like you, Eion. It feels like you might have similar feelings.”
He kissed me gently again. “Yes. I like you too. I was wondering. Do you want to label this thing between us?”
The question surprised me. Dating someone, being a boyfriend, was completely unknown to me.
There had been a few men I saw for a while, but it was never exclusive, never someone I could see a future with.
With Eion, I could see us here with the animals years down the road, and that scared me because we didn’t know each other well, but everything in me screamed to hold on to him.
“I’d like that.” My mouth said it before I thought any more about it.
“Okay. We’ll talk about it, but before we do that, I have something I need to share with you. Let’s go see Orlando. Then we can head to my trailer.”
“Should I be worried?” He looked at me, and his face went pale. My stomach dropped, and I was worried about what he would say. What was so serious that his entire body language changed? That he had to tell me before we decided to be exclusive.
“Eion? You’re worrying me.”
“I. We. This is something I have to do, not in a field, but don’t worry. It’ll be. I promise. I think. Should be.” He stopped. “It’ll be fine.” He mumbled almost to himself.
Now I was even more concerned. He wouldn’t look at me, and my stomach started to knot.
Gently, I put my fingers under his chin, making him look me in the eye.
When they met mine, I saw fear. What was he so afraid of?
“Let’s go to your trailer now. I think if we put this off, it will ruin our visit with Orlando.
” He nodded, kissed me quickly, then started to walk toward the front of the Sanctuary.
I grabbed our trash and jogged after him.
I needed to get my head together, so I let him ‘run’ ahead of me.
It was his coping mechanism, and what he had to tell me was serious.
He was completely freaked out, and we both could use a breather to process it.
What was he going to tell me? Was he married?
Debt? On the run? A murderer? Lived with someone already?
My stomach tumbled, and I refused to guess what he was about to say because it would make things worse.
When I got to his trailer, I knocked tentatively on the door.
Was this great thing that was barely starting about to fall apart completely?
Eion opened the door. “Come in and see my castle.” The trailer was small, but he kept it clean and neat.
It felt like a home and was about the same size as one of those tiny houses you see on TV.
There was a cozy afghan on the couch, and books were stacked in the corner.
“Can I hold you a moment?” The request surprised me, but I willingly went into his arms. He kissed the top of my head.
“I like you so much, Angus. Nobody has made me feel like this before.” I nodded against his chest. My heart was beating so hard that I was afraid I’d pass out, but I needed to let him do this on his own time. “Okay. Maybe you should sit.”
I sat on the small banquet, and he paced back and forth in the small hall.
He was mumbling to himself, but I couldn’t make out his words.
You could feel his nervousness coming off him in waves.
Barnaby paced beside him, whining, trying to get his attention.
I suspected that Barnaby was a support dog, but he hadn’t told me that.
“Eion. I am sure it’s fine. You are freaking me out.”
“Okay. Okay. I can do this. Um, lean back a little.” I did as he said, and he moved between my knees, leaning over and kissing me deeply. His tongue slid against mine, and a sweet moan came from deep inside. This couldn’t be that bad if he kissed me like that: possessively, full of passion.
Eion stopped and stepped back. As I watched, he started unbuttoning his shirt.
This was not the direction I saw this conversation going.
His eyes were glassy, as if he was about to tear up, which I didn’t understand.
What was this incredible man about to say that put us here?
When his shirt was unbuttoned and hanging open, his body was clearly visible.
I should have asked for permission, but I didn’t.
My fingers ran down his chest and abs. The muscle was hard, with a small amount of hair on his chest that led down his stomach into the waistband of his pants.
I let my fingers follow that trail, my hand resting where the button of his jeans was.
“You are beautiful.”
“I’m not. I’m not a whole man.”
“What?” A tear slipped down his cheek, breaking my heart. “Eion? Please.”
I didn’t know what I was even asking for, but I stood and wiped away the drop on his cheek.
I had no idea what he was so concerned about.
Even though our relationship was new, he was the most amazing person I had ever met.
He was sweet, kind, and had plenty to offer as a man.
As I looked into his eyes, I wanted to take all that pain away.
Someone had hurt him, and I wanted five minutes alone with whoever it was. How could they?
“Angus. Maybe you should go, save me the humiliation of you leaving once you know.”
“Eion, no. Tell me what you are talking about. I’m not going anywhere.
” I took a deep breath, then I watched as he pulled down his pants.
There was a scar on his left side that wrapped around his hip.
It was deep, and it looked painful. As he pushed his pants further down his legs, there was a divot in his thigh where the muscle no longer existed.
The leg had scars down to the ankle. I couldn’t imagine how difficult it must have been to overcome those injuries.
“It’s ugly.”
“It’s you, Eion. Nothing about you is ugly.”
“There’s more you need to see.” He stepped out of his pants and stood before me wearing his red boxer briefs. He was sexy as hell, and more than anything, I wanted to touch him. However, now wasn’t the time. He just said there was more to share.
Without dropping his gaze, he removed his shirt, letting it fall to the floor.
It was clear he had a prosthetic, but I tried not to stare.
I wanted him to do this at his own speed, under his own terms. He reached over and removed the prosthetic, setting it on the table, then he took the socks off, leaving him standing there, his residual limb in the open.
“Can I look?” I whispered.
He nodded. Turning my head, I took note of his smooth skin, the curve of his shoulder, and the firm muscles of his bicep.
He had about four inches after his elbow, and the remainder had been removed.
I leaned in and kissed his lips gently, then moved my hands down his neck and over his shoulder.
My lips followed my fingertips, sucking on his collarbone and kissing his bicep.
I rubbed along his elbow, treating the arm no differently from the rest of his body.
“Like I said before, Eion. You are beautiful.”