33. EION
Chapter thirty-three
EION
When Angus stepped out of the car, I could barely catch my breath.
He was always beautiful, but in the days I hadn’t seen him, somehow he’d gotten even more handsome.
My soul missed him deep down; he had taken root, and it was still there trying to grow.
Angus was everything to me, and I was having a hard time staying mad about what I heard.
Then I remembered how he said he couldn’t make this permanent, and the hurt flared back to life.
We climbed the stairs, and he started petting our friend.
“I missed you, big fella. Are you taking care of your daddy?” I kept reminding myself to hold strong. “I’m glad you are willing to talk to me.” He said without turning his head; something about it told me if he did, I would see how bad he was hurting.
The bulldozer across the street started up. “Fucking great. I lost the land across the street on top of losing you.”
He turned and looked at me. “Eion, can you tell me why you are so mad at me?” I was surprised his mom hadn’t told him that I had heard something.
Actually, she probably did, but he isn’t the type of guy to use that information.
My Angus would want to hear directly from me.
I wasn’t even sure how to address this because it hurt to think about, but I had committed to telling him.
I didn’t want to carry it into my next relationship.
“I heard what you said at the party about me.”
He looked at me, obviously confused. “If you heard what I said, you know my secret then. I am so sorry, but I thought it would be a great thing. I can change it.”
Now I was even more confused. “Change it? Secret?”
“Yeah, that’s what you heard, right. I told Tyler what I planned to do for us. I’m sorry that it was too much. Eion, I thought we were in the same place. We can sell it or wait until another time. I just thought it would be a good thing.”
Now I was even more confused because he was clearly talking about something entirely different. This meant we had a lot more to talk about than I thought. “I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. You weren’t talking to West, not Tyler.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “I didn’t have a private conversation about you with West.”
Trying hard not to get loud, I gritted my teeth. “Yes, you did. I heard you say, ‘I can’t make this permanent because he is incomplete.’ It would never work.”
His eyes got big, and I knew I caught him. The words were burned into my heart. “Eion, that wasn’t about you. It was about someone I have on the security team at work. He hadn’t finished his schooling yet and needed his security certificate. Keeping him on the team wouldn’t work.”
I looked at Angus, then looked away. “Fuck.”
“That’s what this has been about? You thought I would say something like that? About you?”
“I. We.” Then I did the one thing that I thought I had stopped doing. I turned around and walked away.
“Damn it,” was all I heard.
Barnaby was up against me immediately, trying to get me to stop so he could calm me.
I was wrong, very wrong. Somehow, I had believed the absolute worst thing about Angus.
Great, it went from me breaking up with him because of what he was saying about me to him leaving me because I actually thought he could say something like that.
I’m an idiot. I knew better, and yet I still believed it.
When I got to the pasture where the alpacas were, I couldn’t even smile at our new residents.
Zach had brought them over the next day.
He gave me paperwork he apparently printed off the Internet, which said they had been surrendered to us.
Normally when I needed cheering up, I would come laugh at the goats.
Ramsey and Angus will be enamored by them.
Now I had to figure out how to fix this situation that I created.
Then there was the secret he had mentioned, which I was curious about.
Barnaby was now pushing his entire body against me, reminding me to be calm.
Angus walked up next to me a few minutes later.
“Hey there, sexy. New residents?”
“Yeah. Zach rescued them. I think we can do more of those types of rescues once we are upgraded. I bet those goats can find a new home once we get them healthy. I don’t think Zach would let me get rid of the alpaca.”
“He still coming out here and watching hockey with them?”
I laughed. “Every night. It’s the weirdest thing.”
“We all have the people or animals we choose to be with.” He looked over at me and nudged my shoulder.
“For the record, I think you are perfect exactly as you are. Pretty sure I told you that a time or two.” He closed the few inches between us.
The sides of our hands touched on the railing, and our hips were together too.
It felt like there was actual energy flowing between us, and I realized it was something I had missed, even though I wasn’t aware that it was gone.
It had only been a few days, but it felt like months.
“Angus, I fucked up.” I couldn’t even look at him.
“Yeah, you did.” I felt him staring at the side of my head.
“I’m sorry.” We stood there quietly looking at the alpacas, and the goats wandered over to us looking for treats. Angus stood patiently waiting, because it was up to me to continue. How could I have thought he would think those things?
“I guess Trey damaged me more than I admit. It was wrong for me to think you’d say something like that.” He nodded his head.
“Yes, the fact that you think I am that kind of person cuts deep. The situation feels familiar though.” The fact that he was so calm freaked me out. “We should call one of them Goatzart for fun.”
I looked at him. In the middle of this very difficult situation, he named a goat. He was simply letting me work through this, and I could feel the urge to flee again. I started to push off the corral, and he grabbed my wrist.
“Nope. We are going to finish what needs to be finished, no more running from it.” I swallowed hard.
Shit. I owed him because what I did was unforgivable, yet he wasn’t yelling or stomping—he was waiting.
Waiting for me to give him back what I took from him, which was my love.
I turned toward him and took in his strong profile, but I knew him well enough to see he was upset.
The beautiful line of his jaw was tight, the muscle down his neck—the one I liked to lick to make him shudder—was flexed.
My eyes followed down to his strong shoulders until I looked at his hands, his knuckles white because of how hard he was gripping the pipe.
I did that. This sweet, caring man, who loved me without giving my injury a second thought, was a victim of that accident that happened years ago, before I had ever met him.
It was clear I had things to work on, but I knew that he was exactly the man I fell for.
He still loved me. I just had to give him a reason to be with me.
“Will you look at me?” When he turned, I could see tears on his cheeks.
I expected him to pull away when I reached up to wipe them away, but he stood there, his eyes never leaving mine.
“I made a mistake, a big one. If you will come back to me, I promise to work on the parts of me that are damaged, and I don’t mean my body. ”
“I think that would be good, and I will go with you. Because we need to learn to love each other properly.”
“If you come back to me, I will try not to run when things get scary, but you seem to have figured out how to be my champion. I want you to be my partner. You’ve become my best friend. Angus, I love you so much.”
He smiled a little, then pulled me close to him, his hands around my waist. I held still while he looked at me; he kissed my nose.
It was comforting to feel him relax. After a minute, that tight jaw softened, then his hands were loose on my back, his thumbs slipped under the edge of my sweater, and he rubbed the warm skin.
“I understand that you have been hurt, but I don’t think it is beyond repair.
From today forward, you need to believe that nothing about your body is a problem for me.
Your residual limb, your prosthetic, or the fact that some things you might need help with because of your injury. None. Of. It. Full stop, Eion.”
Now it was my turn to cry. I nodded my head, and he used his thumb to wipe away the tears. “I love you.” I managed to whisper around the lump in my throat.
“I love you too. Eion, both of us will stumble in this relationship, but I want to promise each other that we will always help each other back up.”
“I promise, Angus.”
He gave me one of those smiles that I knew were only for me.
I could feel the warmth all the way to my toes.
“Good. Can I kiss you now because I’ve really missed you?
” Those words sounded so good to me. I started to tremble before his lips ever touched mine.
It had only been a few days, but this felt monumental.
He didn’t say he forgave me, but he was willing to start moving forward again.
When he finally kissed me, it was soft, sensual, showing so much restraint, but that only lasted for a moment until he pulled me hard against him, and it turned into claiming.
He was making sure I understood we were together, that I was his.
“Fuck. I have missed your mouth.” He kissed along my neck, then back up my jaw. “The way you smell, and the taste of your skin.” It felt really good, and my cock was trying to rip through my jeans. I was pretty sure I had never been so hard, and I was more than ready to drag him to bed.
“When do you have to be at work?” I said while I licked his skin and enjoyed being close to him again. How could less than a week without him feel so long?
“I don’t work tonight, and actually have the next few nights off. Our friends are quite invested in us being together.”
That touched me. “Does this mean I can get you naked?”
“Eventually. First, pack an overnight bag and maybe some sweats because we are going to be away from home the next few days.”
“What about the animals?”
“The Sanctuary will be taken care of by Zach.” I knew the look on my face was one of confusion.
“I told you our friends were very invested in our happiness.” We went inside, got my stuff together, and Angus looked at the boxes by the door. I watched as he picked up the check I left him. “You realize the Sanctuary owns this trailer and the truck, right?”
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I recalled him telling me that when he brought the trailer onto the property. “I forgot.”
He laughed, then ripped up the check. “No more of this, okay? We stop, and we talk.”
I walked into his arms. “Yes, my love. I am genuinely sorry. I should have asked you about what I heard. I will get better for you—for us. Barnaby, let’s go.” The little traitor went over to Angus and looked up at him adoringly.
Instead of getting in his car, a limo pulled up in front. “In you go, beautiful.”
“A limo?”
“We have a bit of a drive, and I want to make out with my boyfriend on the road.”
“I like how you think. And I know I said it before, but you look tasty. And you smell so good.” He smiled and laughed.
My heart did somersaults in my chest. I felt happy and light.
When I thought he had rejected me, it felt similar to when I lost part of my limb.
Knowing it was a mistake was a relief beyond anything I could describe, even if I was the one who made it.
Once we were in the car, Angus made good on his promise to kiss me.
Our hands were all over each other. We were in the car for almost forty minutes, and I was steel hard and ached for him.
I assumed we would spend the night at a hotel, but the car pulled up in front of Delizioso, one of the best Italian restaurants in the country.
My mouth dropped open. “I am not dressed well enough for this?”
Angus kissed me softly. “You look incredible, and I know the people who own the restaurant.”
“Of course you do.”
“My cousin dates one of the Chefs. Plus, I’m a MacGregor.
” As we got out of the car, I laughed. No idea how it happens, but I always forget he is who he is.
Tonight, though, it appeared he used his power for good.
Holding my hand, we went into the restaurant, and it seemed like everyone who worked there welcomed us like we were returning heroes.
They took us into the kitchen, where there was a chef’s table.
“This is amazing. I’ve heard a lot about this place but never ate here.”
When he looked at me, his eyes and smile were soft, and he looked somewhat goofy. “I love you.” He said, chin resting on the palm of his hand.
My heart melted in my chest. It was sweet.
“I love you, too.” We enjoyed our meal, sharing our entrées.
The wait staff was either very observant or had been told to keep their distance, only stopping by when absolutely necessary.
It was romantic and sweet. For the first time in days, I felt relaxed.
As we left, there were subtle waves from the staff, and the bartender gave him a thumbs up.
They considered Angus family because his cousin was.
We put our arms around each other, and Angus directed me to the hotel next door.
Obviously, the man had gone all out to romance me back into his life.
Was he that confident that I would come back to him?
Did he know it had to be a misunderstanding, and it could be fixed?
I smiled to myself. He was right, and he gave me grace when I didn’t deserve it. All of that made me want him that much more.