15. Choosing Us
CHOOSING US
ANSEL
I used to think success meant climbing higher, pushing harder, winning at all costs—that if I just reached the next milestone, the next title, the next bonus, the next deal, then I’d finally feel…what? Fulfilled? Satisfied? Like it had all been worth it?
I wasn’t sure anymore.
I glanced at Neha, who was sitting next to me on my couch. She was reviewing a presentation on her laptop, one we’d just worked on together—because it was her first big one at work.
She loved her job.
I used to love mine.
Now, I woke up every morning with a pit in my stomach, dreading what fresh bullshit Sterling & Co. Investments had in store for me.
Even with Vanessa gone, the backstabbing and internal politics hadn’t disappeared. The same toxic cycle continued—people clawing for power, manipulating their way to the top. And for what? Another corner office? Another round of soul-sucking meetings?
I was so fucking tired of it.
Neha must’ve felt my restiveness, because she asked, “What?”
I didn’t hesitate. “I think I’m ready to quit.”
She set her computer on the coffee table and turned to face me, focus on me. I loved this about her—she would set aside everything, no matter how important, to pay attention to me, and she’d taught me to do the same for her.
Her brows lifted slightly, but she didn’t look shocked. “I figured this was coming.”
I huffed a small laugh. “That obvious?”
She took my hands in hers. “You’ve been miserable for months. I mean, if you want to keep spending your days arguing with finance bros about who gets the biggest cut of a deal, go for it. But…do you?”
I shook my head, letting out a ragged breath. “No.”
She tilted her head. “So, what should we do about it?”
We!
“I’m scared that I’ll become a bum if I quit.”
“Right!”
“I worry that I’ll never work again and…what will I do with my time?”
Neha watched me for a moment before grinning mischievously. “You could always work at Penny’s café, she’s once again lost a barista.”
I didn’t dismiss the idea right away. “That’s not an entirely bad suggestion.”
Neha arched a brow, amusement flickering in her gaze. “I was kidding.”
“I don’t know, Neha. Working in a place with no stress, no corporate bullshit, no endless meetings designed just to stroke someone’s ego—that sounds tempting.”
What would it be like to work in a place where your colleagues weren’t constantly undercutting each other for a slightly bigger paycheck? Would that give me some peace? At least for a while—until I figured out what came next.
“Ansel, you can just quit. Take some time off.”
“I have some money saved.” I waved a hand around the apartment. “And once I sell this place, we’ll make some money.”
Neha studied me. “Honey, you do whatever you need to do, I have a job and I’ll carry the financial burden for as long as needed.”
Relationships were not fifty-fifty, they never could be. Sometimes someone had to carry more, but in the long run it all evened out. I loved being in a relationship with Neha where that reality existed for us.
The past six months had been perfect. We all lived together, mostly at my place, which gave us more privacy since she shared her apartment with Penny .
“I can pay my way, baby.”
She put a hand on my cheek. “Partners, Ansel.”
I nodded. “Partners, baby.”
“Partners take care of each other.”
I hugged her then, so, so, so, fucking pleased that she gave me a chance to be with her, to grow and become a man I could be proud of.
We talked about my plans some more, and within a couple of weeks, I decided that it was time for me to leave Sterling.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do next, whether to work at another company or do something else.
What I did know was that I needed time to think, and that meant I had to quit my job and let my mind rest.
On the day I was to hand in my two-week notice, Neha decided we needed a morning quickie to relax me. I appreciated it very much, though I wasn’t sure how this was different from other morning quickies she or I had insisted upon.
“Call me as soon as it’s over.” She hovered as I got ready, anxious on my behalf.
“Baby, I won’t regret this. I’m ready. You don’t have to worry about it.”
She let out a long breath. “I know, but I’m concerned that you’re going to hate not working.”
“Did you?”
She shook her head. “No, I loved getting enough sleep, having time to study, and not worrying about morning meetings and not bringing work home. ”
“There you go.”
She kissed me. “I’m happy you’re doing this.”
Patrick, alas, wasn’t happy at all. He looked at me like I told him I planned to live off the grid in the Alaskan wilderness.
“Ansel,” he spoke slowly as if I was a wild animal he needed to soothe, "just to be clear—you’re leaving Sterling to…make cappuccinos?”
I shrugged, completely unbothered. “That’s just a temporary gig at a friend’s café. Patrick, I don’t know what I’m going to do next. But I do know it’s not this.”
Eleanor Monroe studied me as she tapped her nails on the table. “We don’t want to lose you.”
“I appreciate that.” I did. Sterling had been my life for years. It had given me a lot—money, status, experience. But it had also taken from me, made me a version of myself that I didn’t particularly like anymore.
Patrick ran a hand down his face. "Ansel, let’s talk about this?—"
“I’m sorry, Patrick, I’ve made my decision,” I cut him off.
Patrick exhaled heavily, like this was physically hurting him. "Fine. If you ever want to come back?—"
“Thank you.” I looked at Eleanor and then at Patrick with amusement. “You know, if you’re ever in Brooklyn, I hope you’ll let me make you a cappuccino, a latte, or”—I paused dramatically—“a masala chai.”
Eleanor laughed, shaking her head. “Well, if you’re out, you’re out. I hope you find what makes you happy, Ansel.”
I ran into Charlie in the hallway on my way back to my office.
He took one look at my expression and let out a low whistle. “Holy shit. You actually did it.”
“I told you I would.”
He shook his head, looking equal parts impressed and envious. “Man, I gotta say, you’re braver than me.”
That made me pause. “Charlie?—”
“I mean it.” He crossed his arms. “You’re walking away. From the money, the power, all of it. Because it didn’t align with your values anymore.”
I studied him, the way his jaw was set, the slight tightness in his shoulders. He wasn’t just talking about me. But he’d have to go on his own journey to get to where he wanted. “A man’s gotta do, what a man’s gotta do.”
His mouth pressed into a thin line. “I hope I have that kind of courage one day,” he admitted finally.
I clapped a hand on his shoulder. “When you’re ready, you will.”
Two weeks later, after a farewell party at work that even Neha attended, I walked out of Sterling, holding the hand of the love of my life, without looking back.