Chapter 3
Kyle
Kyle: Today, I’m finally going to see you again.
Kyle: I've been dreaming about this moment for years.
Kyle: There are a lot of things I want to tell you,
I just hope you give me the chance to listen.
Everyone handles regrets differently. Some people torment themselves for the rest of their lives, turning a single mistake into their whole personality.
Others bury it so deep they convince themselves it never happened, walking through life pretending it was just an unlucky chapter they had no control over.
And then there’s me. Someone who has tried both and still can’t seem to move on.
I’ve forgiven myself, punished myself, distracted myself, even pretended it wasn’t important anymore.
But no matter how much I try to reinvent who I am, my regrets always pull me back like an invisible tether around my ribs.
Until I fix what I broke, I can’t fully move forward.
That’s what this was—my attempt to fix it. To fix myself.
“This is probably the worst idea I’ve ever had in my life,” I muttered, staring at my reflection in the rearview mirror.
I was in my car in the company parking lot, hands still gripping the steering wheel even though I'd turned off the engine five minutes ago. The modern glass building loomed ahead, reflecting the morning sun like a beacon. Or warning.
What was I doing here? How was I going to act like this was just an interesting coincidence when I'd spent the last three nights rehearsing what I would say to her?
I hadn't returned to the United States specifically to talk to Lily.
That would have been insane after ten years of silence.
But when I saw the job listing in Waldo Security System that perfectly matched my skill set, I applied without hesitation.
I had been checking that company for months to see if there was anything I could apply for. And my opportunity finally came.
Ten years ago, Lily completely disappeared from my life without letting me speak to her.
We were both going through a difficult time, and I thought she needed space to think things over and process what had happened.
What I didn't imagine was that she would go so far as to block me from everything and pretend I never existed for so long.
Being in the same company would ensure we would eventually talk, and I would be ready to close that chapter in my life; maybe that way, I would finally have peace.
Sydney had been good to me professionally.
I'd built a solid career there, made decent money, and had a few girlfriends, but something was always missing.
The city felt hollow after a while. I missed home, missed my family, missed the familiar streets where I'd grown up.
Moving back had been about reclaiming pieces of myself that I'd left behind when I moved away.
To finally stop having regrets. At least, that's what I told myself.
But I'd be lying if I said Lily hadn't been on my mind.
As much as I tried to convince myself it was just a high school crush, that we were too young for it to have been anything serious, the truth was more complicated.
She was my first love, my first time, and the first person that broke my heart, and not a month went by that I didn't wonder: What would have happened if she hadn't blamed me for everything?
I checked my reflection in the rearview mirror, adjusting the collar of my shirt.
Ten years had made my appearance change a lot. The awkward teenager had given way to a man who now has more confidence and knows what to say. My hair was styled in a way that suggested I cared about my appearance without trying too hard. My face had lost its boyish softness.
Would she recognize me immediately? Would she even be the same person I remembered?
People change in a decade. I certainly had.
My phone buzzed with a text from the CEO:
Jacob Walker: I'm looking forward to your first day. Stop by my office once you're settled in.
No more stalling. I grabbed my laptop bag, took a deep breath, and stepped out of the car.
The lobby was bright and busy, filled with Monday morning energy that set my teeth on edge. I approached the security desk, where a guard checked my ID and directed me to the human resources department on the third floor. So far, so normal. Just a guy starting a new job.
But as I stepped into the elevator, my heart was pounding far too hard for this to be just about first-day jitters.
Somewhere in this building was Lily. The same Lily who'd once known every secret I had, whose laughter I could still hear sometimes in my dreams. The Lily who'd torn my heart out when she told me she never wanted to see me again.
I tried to focus on the task at hand. Get to HR. Fill out the paperwork. Meet the team. Learn the systems. Normal steps that had nothing to do with ghosts from my past.
The elevator doors opened on the third floor, and I stepped out into a hallway lined with glass-walled offices. A young woman with a clipboard approached me immediately. "Kyle Bennett?"
"That's me."
"Welcome to Waldo Security System. I'm Janice from the recruitment team. We're excited to have you on board." She gestured for me to follow her. "Let's get you settled."
As we walked, my eyes scanned every face we passed, every open office door.
Would Lily be on this floor? What department did she even work in?
I realized that I knew almost nothing about her adult life.
Social media had given me glimpses, enough to know she still lived here and that she worked for this company, but nothing else.
The last time we met, she was convinced she was going to study medicine, but this tech company has everything except a doctor. I was curious to know what changed in her. What made her choose a new career?
"We'll start with some paperwork," Janice was saying, "then I'll take you to meet your team. Most of your work will be on the fifth floor, where the tech department is located."
I nodded, only half-listening.
Fifth floor. Did Lily work on the fifth floor?
"Is there a directory of employees?" I asked, trying to sound casual. "So I can get familiar with the organizational structure."
"Of course. You'll have access to the company intranet, which has a comprehensive staff directory with departments and contact information." She gave me a curious look. "Do you know someone who works here?"
The question caught me off guard. "No, I just... wanted to make sure I could familiarize myself with the staff."
Janice smiled and continued with her orientation spiel, but my mind was elsewhere. This was ridiculous. I was a grown man, not some lovesick teenager. I had a job to do and skills to offer. That's why I was here. If I happened to run into Lily, well... I'd deal with that when it happened.
But as Janice led me through the motions of my first day, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was on a collision course with my past. And no amount of preparation could ready me for the impact.
After all, how do you prepare to face someone who once meant so much to you, someone who walked away believing the worst about you? How do you greet a person who knew you at your most vulnerable, who held your heart in her hands and dropped it?
"Mr. Bennett?" Janice's voice pulled me back to the present. "Are you okay?"
Apparently, I had remained motionless, staring into space for a few moments. "Fine," I forced a smile. "Just eager to get started."
She nodded, apparently satisfied with my answer. "Well, the tour is all done. Let's head up to meet your team."
As we walked to the elevator, I mentally steadied myself. Whether I saw Lily today, next week, or never, I was here now. I couldn't change the past, but I could control how I responded to it. Whatever happened between us all those years ago, we were adults now, professionals.
I just hoped that when the moment came, when I finally stood face to face with Lily Danault after all this time, I would be composed.
The elevator doors closed, and we began our ascent to the fifth floor. To my new beginning.
Or perhaps, to an old ending I never quite accepted.
The days passed, and I couldn't see Lily in any of them. I'd already been at the company for a week, and in that time, I hadn't caught even a glimpse of her.
It wasn't like I wasn't trying. I was actually working hard to "casually" find her, but nothing worked.
I had circled the company several times.
I made sure to take my lunch breaks at various times.
I'd arrived early and stayed in the building's lobby, talking to the receptionist, using the excuse of bringing her coffee and learning more about the company culture.
But I hadn't been able to see Lily anywhere.
If it weren't for the fact that I'd seen her name and a little picture in the organizational chart, I'd think she didn’t even work here.
I didn't want to ask about her directly to avoid raising any suspicions, but I was losing my patience. Either Lily was on vacation, sick, or working harder than I was to evade me.
This last possibility intrigued me.
Did Lily know I was working here now, and that's why she was hiding from me? Was she really trying that hard not to talk to me?
That excited me to a degree I didn't want to admit, because it meant she was still thinking about me, that she had feelings beyond indifference.
For that reason, I decided to work on a plan. Next week, I would work hard to be noticeable in a way that nobody could ignore.