Chapter 36 Lily
Lily
Kyle: S.O.S
Lily: Well, good morning, baby. Did you have a dream about me or what?
Do you want me to do something about it?
Kyle: This is a real S.O.S. message. Stop distracting me.
Lily: Soooo dramatic, see you later.
I woke up with a smile on my face for the first time in longer than I could remember.
Being close to Kyle again had made me realize something I'd forgotten: I deserved to be happy. I deserved to feel what it was like to be in love again, to want a future with someone, to wake up excited about what the day might bring.
For ten years, I'd convinced myself that happiness was a luxury I couldn't afford, that love was a risk I couldn't take.
But lying here in the morning light, I could still feel the phantom touch of his lips on mine, how his eyes looked at me with so much intensity I could forget everything around me, and the happiness I felt simply from having him near.
I think this whole situation was not only a way to save my brother and family, but a reminder that I was allowed to want beautiful things again.
That I was not the only one guilty of all the misery that happened this year, and that even though I wasn't able to do the right things in the past, I could move forward.
I know it was still too early to tell if things would work out between Kyle and me.
I was still afraid that once he really got to see this version of me, he might be disappointed.
But something I'd learned from this whole journey back to the past was to try to live in the moment, even though that was extremely complicated when you overthought everything as I did.
I made my way downstairs to the kitchen, where Mom was already starting breakfast preparations.
Without hesitation, I moved to help her, taking eggs from the refrigerator and whisking them while she worked on the pancake batter.
"You are becoming more and more expert in the kitchen, I see. Who is teaching you?"
Maybe because I've been living alone for about 4 years, I thought with a smile, "Nobody actually, sometimes I feel like some things are just coming naturally to me."
"You're the best at everything you do, Lily," she replied, kissing me on the head, "and I'm not saying that because I'm your mother, okay?"
“I will believe you then.”
This was one of my favorite parts of being back in the past, being able to live these moments with the people I loved again.
Part of me felt guilty for not being able to do more for my mother, knowing everything that was going to happen to her.
But I'd already made her schedule regular checkups, and I hoped that would be enough to detect whatever was wrong with her in time.
The only thing left for me was to be more present. To enjoy everything more. Something I hadn't had the opportunity to do until it was too late.
"So," Mom said as I took the bowl with the eggs to the stove, "how did last night go?"
"How did it go? A spiral of emotions, definitely."
I leaned back on the table and relived every moment that happened last night in my mind.
I felt my cheeks warm, but I found myself telling her everything, about the party, about Leo and Jeremy fighting, about Kyle taking me home, about our kiss (but not all the details of what happened after that kiss).
It was so much easier to talk to her now than it had been when I was actually eighteen.
When you're a teenager, you hide things because you feel like your parents are limiting you, trying to control your choices. But now, as an adult, I can see that she was more my friend than anyone else I would meet, and someone who wanted the best for me.
"I'm happy that you and Kyle are finally working things out," she said warmly. "I've always liked that boy. I can see how much he cares about you, how he wants to take care of you."
She paused, choosing her words carefully. "But I want you to take things slow if you're unsure about anything. In the end, no one expects you to act or do anything you're not ready for. Always follow your heart, sweetheart, but don't forget to use your head too."
If only she knew how much those words meant.
Before I could respond, Leo bounded down the stairs, practically radiating happiness. He stole a piece of bacon from the counter before setting the table, then greeted both Mom and me with kisses on each cheek.
"Well, someone's in a good mood," Mom observed with amusement. "What made you so happy?"
"Nothing specific," Leo said, but his grin was infectious. "I just feel like things are going to get better and better."
"I hope so too," I replied, meaning it completely. "I have a really good feeling about it."
Dad joined us a few minutes later, and we spent a perfect Sunday morning together as a family, talking and laughing over breakfast like we had all the time in the world.
In the afternoon, we set up the patio to have a picnic with Brandy and Kyle. Leo also invited Jeremy, something that surprised me quite a bit, considering how everything ended yesterday, but I guessed it was a way to ease the fight they had.
I still had that conversation with my brother pending. There were so many things I still didn't understand about what happened at the party, and I desperately wanted him to have the trust to tell me. But I didn't want to pressure him if he wasn't ready yet.
When I arrived last night, he was already locked in his room, and I didn't want to wake him up. For me, the important thing was that everything had turned out well and that we were able to avoid something that I was sure he would regret for the rest of his life.
What I wasn't sure about now was how much blame Jeremy really had in all of this.
In the past, the real one and the one I know, Jeremy and Leo, had an argument over something I still don't know.
Oliver took them upstairs so they could have more privacy, and then Jeremy forcibly kissed my brother for some reason.
I always thought Leo never meant for Jeremy to do that, and that Jeremy ruined my brother's reputation in the process after the video leaked.
But after seeing the alleged fight yesterday, everything indicated that my brother was more upset and jealous of Jeremy than the other way around.
So what was the truth? Why couldn’t everything be as simple as I always imagined?
Jeremy and Brandy arrived, so I went with them to the patio so they could start organizing the blanket and some food, and then I retreated to the kitchen to finish baking the chocolate chip cookies I'd started earlier.
I was pulling the last batch from the oven when I felt strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. "Hello, my favorite girl," Kyle whispered in my ear, then pressed a soft kiss to my cheek.
I jumped slightly, startled. "I didn't know you were here yet."
"I'm happy to be able to keep surprising you."
"Believe me, you surprise me every day with something new." I replied, "You came just in time. I want you to try this." I dipped my finger into the bowl of a glaze I'd made for the cookies, then turned to face him with a playful smile.
I offered him my finger, and he took it into his mouth, his eyes never leaving mine as he tasted the sweet mixture. "Mmm, yeah, it's delicious," he murmured, then leaned down to kiss me.
I melted into him for a moment, tasting not just the glaze, but him, every kiss was like a confirmation that he would always be the one in my life, about how real our love really was despite we were so young, and how it doesn't matter how far we were to each other, we would always find a way to get back once more.
Because in each other's arms is where we were meant to be.
I decided to break the kiss before someone came into the kitchen and found us here. "Stop, someone can see us," I whispered, glancing toward the window where our friends were visible on the patio.
"Are you afraid of being caught being a bad girl, Lily?" he teased, his voice low and playful.
I laughed. "No, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop if we continue."
He raised an eyebrow, incredulous that I had just said. We stared at each other for a few charged moments, but finally, I forced myself to turn back to my baking, trying to calm my racing pulse.
"So," I said, attempting to sound casual, "about that SOS message you sent me last night? What was the important thing you wanted to talk to me about?"
Kyle looked out the window toward where Leo, Brandy, and Jeremy were lying on the blanket together. His expression shifted, becoming more serious. "I don't think it's important anymore."
"Should I be worried?"
"I don't think so." His tone suggested he didn't quite believe his own words. I wanted to push for more information, but I didn't want to ruin a perfect afternoon.
I know that if something bad were happening, he would have told me right away. Or he would have even come to my house instead of sending me a random text in the middle of the night.
Trusting people again was hard, but he was proving that I could, even after everything that had gone wrong before.
We aren’t defined by our past, but by who we choose to become despite it.
And I wanted to learn how to let people take care of me again.
He was showing me he had changed, that he meant it this time, and the least I could do was try to trust him back.
"Well, you'll have to help me finish cleaning up this mess then."
"And I thought I was just going to be the guy who tries desserts today." He moved to pick up the utensils, and I picked up the things that were going to be taken outside.
A little while later, we joined the others outside with the cookies.
"What did we miss?" I asked as I sat down on the blanket next to Jeremy.
"Nothing much, just talking about school stuff," Brandy replied.
"You guys are sooooo fun," Kyle said sarcastically, sitting next to me, "isn't there anything better in your lives than school?"
I gave him a warning look. Of course, there's nothing else to do but go to school. We're supposed to be teenagers who don't do anything else.
“We can talk about how much fun Brandy had at the party. I’m sure she has plenty of interesting things to say,” Jeremy said in a defiant tone.
"I don't think it's a good idea," I replied, trying to calm the situation. Were they in that mood before we arrived?
Poor Leo, if that was the case.
Jeremy and Brandy had never been particularly close, but today there seemed to be extra tension between them. I wonder if it has anything to do with what happened yesterday. Or if there was something else, something I didn't know yet.
"It was great before you came along and ruined everyone's happiness." Brandy took my brother's hand. "Luckily, my boyfriend was able to control you."
"That's not what really happened," my brother said, staring at the grass, as if he were afraid of how we were going to react to his defense.
"Jeremy went looking for a friend and found two. I don't think there were any problems at the party after everything was resolved," Kyle added.
"And how would you know? You and Lily disappeared upstairs for hours after those two left," Brandy said, pointing at Leo and Jeremy. "But who am I to judge? At least I hope you had a good time."
Kyle squeezed my hand so I couldn't say anything, so I took two deep breaths before continuing the conversation.
"Well, changing the subject, how are the cookies?" I said, taking one, "I rarely get the chance to eat them right after baking them."
"They’re amazing, Lily," Jeremy said, reaching for his third one. "Way better than anything I've tasted before."
And this interaction almost felt like our present, where I used to make him try different desserts on weekends. God, I missed him so much as a friend; we hadn't had the chance to connect like we used to.
"Oh, really?" Brandy asked him with a mischievous smile on her face. "Are you sure that's the best thing you have eaten lately?"
"Brandy," Leo said quietly, a warning in his voice.
"What? I'm just saying it's weird that he's never tasted 'anything better'; I'm sure I have. And we've probably eaten the same thing recently."
Jeremy stood up, brushing crumbs from his jeans with jerky movements. "You know what? I think I should head home. Thanks for having me."
"Jeremy, wait—" Leo started to get up too.
"No, it's fine," Jeremy said, his voice tight with hurt. "Apparently, I'm not very good company here anyway."
He gathered his things quickly and headed for the side gate without another word.
Brandy watched him go with a satisfied expression that stressed me out.
"What?" she said when she noticed all of us staring at her.
"You were a little ruder than usual," Leo replied, his voice was controlled, but I knew something was bothering him.
"Maybe you should go after him then," Brandy shot back, crossing her arms defensively. "That’s all you do lately."
"I think we should all calm down," Kyle interjected, clearly trying to defuse the situation.
"Okay, okay," Brandy said, "the cookies are good, Lily, sorry."
"Don't worry," I replied, getting a little nervous about this situation I didn't understand.
We tried to continue our meeting as if nothing was happening, but we were all in a different mood after Jeremy left.
After an hour, Kyle and Brandy decided it was time to go.
And my brother and I nodded as if we were all thinking exactly the same thing.
We stood and gathered up the entire picnic to take it to the house, and when everything was in place, I walked Kyle to the door.
"Are you sure there's nothing I should know about?" I asked quietly. If anyone knew what was going on between Jeremy, Brandy, and Leo, it would be Kyle. After all, he and Jeremy had become very close lately.
He paused, his hand on the door handle, and for a moment I thought he might tell me whatever was weighing on his mind. But then he just shook his head. "I don't think it's anything serious. Let's just forget about it for now."
He kissed my forehead and left, leaving me standing there wondering if my mind was playing tricks on me or if there could be something missing from everything.