Chapter 41
Lily
Leo's reassurances that he was okay and that I should leave him alone didn't stop me from worrying about the situation. He was my younger brother, and knowing he was going through something painful made me feel utterly helpless.
I wanted to be there for him, for him to see me as a friend he could trust. But no matter how hard we try to force our way into other people's lives, it's ultimately up to them to decide if they want us there.
Sometimes love means stepping back, even when every instinct tells us to push forward.
We can't save people who aren't ready to be saved, and the hardest lesson in caring for someone is learning when to offer support from a distance rather than demanding to be needed.
I left my last class and went to my locker to gather all my things.
Neither Kyle nor I had to go to the hospital today—it was one of our designated study days for midterm preparation—so I was planning to use my free time to get some rest. Something I tried to do as much as possible now that I finally had time without adult responsibilities.
But as I walked through the hallways, I realized something was terribly wrong.
People were whispering, clustering in groups.
Many were on their phones, laughing, showing screens to others with that cruel delight teenagers get when witnessing someone else's humiliation.
The further I walked, the more mockery I encountered.
Students looked at me with pity, as if they felt sorry that I had to walk past them at this particular moment.
I'd lived this nightmare over and over again in my dreams. It was all exactly as I remembered.
But how could that happen?
Leo and Jeremy had left the party. I'd seen them leave with my own eyes. Kyle and I were the ones who'd ended up upstairs until late that night. We'd controlled the situation, or at least I thought we had.
How did Oliver manage it this time? Why couldn't he just mind his own business? Why did he have to destroy my brother over and over again, in every timeline, in every possible reality?
It was incredible how some people seemed to exist solely to hurt others without ever considering the consequences. Oliver was one of those people, a catalyst for destruction who moved through the world leaving wreckage in his wake.
I frantically searched for my brother in all the places at school where he usually spent time, but he was nowhere to be found. I needed to know he was okay, even if he didn't want me there for him, even if my presence would only make things worse.
But I didn't want to and couldn't leave him alone right now.
Maybe he'd already gone home, I thought desperately. So I decided to leave school, my heart and soul completely shattered.
Kyle was waiting for me in front of the building, and the moment I saw him, I ran straight into his arms.
As soon as he held me, I felt like I could finally breathe again.
This hug didn't fix everything, but for a second, the noise in my head quieted.
Somehow, being held by him like that made me feel like everything might actually be okay, like the world could be falling apart around us, but as long as I was in his arms, I was safe.
He was there for me even though I didn't deserve it, even though I'd pushed him away for so long, even though I'd spent years convinced I was better off alone.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered against my hair. "I tried my hardest to stop him, but Professor Reynolds confiscated Oliver's phone, and there was nothing I could do."
"I know it's not your fault," I said, pulling back to look at his face. "Did you know about the video?"
"No," he answered immediately. "I found out this morning when he wanted to brag to the guys."
He took my hand, and together we started walking away from the school, away from the stares and whispers.
"And how was it released? Was it the teacher?"
"No, it wasn't either of them, Lily. I have Oliver's phone right here. Florence doesn't have the passcode, so it couldn't have been her."
"Then who?" I asked, though part of me was already dreading the answer.
"Brandy. She has the video."
"That can't be possible," I responded, remembering he told me something like that the first time we talked. "All this time blaming Oliver, and the real culprit was right there with us."
"He's partly to blame," Kyle said quickly. "He admitted he recorded the video, but he sent it to Brandy last night, just like I suspected might happen."
The betrayal felt crushing. Brandy, whom I'd known for years, who had been part of our group, who had sat at our family dinner table, was the one who had destroyed my brother's life. Not Oliver, not some stranger with a grudge, but someone we'd trusted.
"What are we going to do now?" I asked, feeling more lost than ever.
"We go home, try to talk to your brother, and assure him everything will be okay. I'll use this time to figure out our next steps. We need to make sure our friends know they can count on us. We still have a chance to prevent tragedy."
"I'm not so sure about that anymore."
I didn't know I had said those last words out loud until Kyle stopped walking and turned to face me, his hands gripping my shoulders gently.
"Don't lose hope, Lily. I'm here with you, no matter what you need.
Even if the world seems to be falling apart, don't forget that this time I won't let you fall. "
He kissed me, like letting me know he would be there for me no matter what happened, but I didn't feel better.
I wanted desperately to believe him, to have faith that everything would be okay.
But seeing that no matter how hard we tried, the past seemed determined to repeat itself, made me realize that maybe every effort we'd made was in vain.
Maybe some things were just meant to happen, regardless of how much we fought against them.
I entered the house, and it seemed empty. Except for Bailey, who was asleep on the living room sofa, I was the only one here, or so I thought.
I climbed the stairs and heard soft sounds coming from my bedroom. I pushed open the door to find Leo sitting on my bed, his knees pulled up to his chest, staring out my window with red-rimmed eyes.
"Leo?" I said softly.
He looked up at me, "Now I'm ready to talk," he said, his voice thick with unshed tears.
I didn't ask questions. I nodded and went to the kitchen to make us tea, and went back with the mugs. Leo was still in the same position I left him on my bed, looking smaller and younger than I'd seen him in years.
"I've been lying to everyone," he began, accepting the tea gratefully. "Including myself."
I settled beside him, waiting, giving him the space to find his words.
"I'm in love with Jeremy," he confessed. "I've been in love with him since we were kids, but I was too scared to admit it. Too scared of what people would think, what it would mean."
To say I was in shock was to minimize what I felt. I’d always believed Jeremy was the one in love with my brother, that he saw Leo as this impossible love and settled for being his friend, that nothing more had ever happened between them. I never imagined it could be the other way around.
Even in the present, Leo had never told me any of this. I thought we were close and told each other everything, but some secrets seem to have been kept deep inside him all these years.
"Brandy was just... a cover," he continued, wiping at his eyes. "I thought if I had a pretty, popular girlfriend, no one would ever suspect. And it worked for a while. But being with her when I wanted to be with him... it was torture."
"Leo..." I started, but he held up a hand.
"Saturday night, I was pretty upset all day. Jeremy told me he was going to have a date, and I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know who he was seeing, or where, but I assumed he would be at the party because I saw him with Kyle lately."
So that's why he had been upset all day. I thought it was because Brandy didn't want to come with us to the park to be with Oliver, but apparently, he didn't care at all.
"So I escaped home as soon as I could to confront him, only to find him with Kyle."
"You know Kyle was only trying to calm him down, and nothing is happening between them, right?"
"Yes, now I know. But I just went crazy. It was like Jeremy looked to everyone but me. So that's why I made a scene."
"And what happened later?" I asked, knowing exactly what really occurred.
"We entered the car, and I just... I kissed him.
I was the one who initiated it. I was the one who couldn't keep my feelings to myself, and then he continued, and I let him, because I really wanted to, and it was so incredible.
" His voice broke completely. "And now I've lost them both, Brandy and Jer.
He won't even look at me, and the whole school is making fun of us. "
"Did you know you were being recorded?"
"Of course not, I wasn't going to risk everything knowing someone was watching us. Especially after everything he's done to me. But at that moment, I wasn't thinking clearly, and now I ruined everything—"
He burst into tears, so I hugged him, "Shhh, calm down, everything's okay."
We stayed like that in silence for a while, he trying to calm himself down, and me trying to process this complete reversal of everything I thought I knew about my brother.
How had I missed this? How had I lived with him for years, in two different timelines, and never realized he was struggling with his sexuality?
But my shock didn't matter right now. What mattered was the broken boy sitting next to me, finally brave enough to tell his truth.
"You know what I learned when I was your age?" I said carefully, setting down my tea and turning to face him fully. "That the people who matter, the people who really love you, don't stop loving you when they learn who you really are. They love you more for having the courage to be honest."
"But what if they do stop loving me?" he whispered. "What if I'm not who they thought I was and they get disappointed?"
"Then they never really love you to begin with," I said firmly. "And that's not your fault. You can't live your life for other people's comfort. You can't shrink yourself to fit into boxes that other people built for you."
I reached over and took his hand. "Growing up means accepting that some people won't understand you, and that's okay.
What's not okay is sacrificing your happiness to avoid their discomfort.
You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed to love who you love.
You're allowed to be exactly who you are. "
"But the video—"
"Will be old news in a month," I interrupted. "High school drama always feels like the end of the world when you're in it, but I promise you, this too shall pass. People will find something else to talk about, some other scandal to obsess over."
"What about Mom and Dad? What about you?"
My heart broke at the fear in his voice.
"Leo, look at me," I said, waiting until his eyes met mine.
"We love you. Not the version of you that you think we want, but you.
The real you. Your sexuality doesn't change the fact that you're their son, my brother.
It doesn't change all the ways you've made our lives better just by being in them. "
He started crying then, really crying, and I pulled him into my arms the way I used to when he had nightmares as a little boy.
"I know it feels impossible right now," I murmured into his hair, "but I promise you, there will come a day when you're grateful for your courage today. When you're proud of yourself for choosing truth over comfort."
"Do you think Jeremy will forgive me and be my friend again?"
"Jeremy cares about you," I said, though I wasn't entirely sure what Jeremy was feeling right now. "Maybe he's scared, too. Maybe he needs time to process. But if he's the person you think he is, he'll come around."
We sat like that for a long time, he crying out years of hidden fear and shame, me holding him and whispering reassurances I hoped were true.
When his tears finally subsided, he pulled back and looked at me with exhausted but clearer eyes.
"Thank you for not freaking out. For not making it about you."
I laughed at this last part. I didn't know he felt like that, like I made everything about me. I felt a little guilty that he lived as if he were my shadow. I knew this was something I had to change from now on.
Maybe I couldn't change others' actions, but I could change who I was and my own actions. And maybe that was what others needed.
"Thank you for trusting me with this. I know it wasn't easy," I replied. "Everything's going to be okay," I promised him, even as my own heart was breaking with the knowledge that I might not be able to keep that promise. "We'll figure this out together."