Chapter 48
Lily
I knew I couldn't make the same mistake I'd made ten years ago. This time, I wasn't planning to crash into Oliver by accident; I needed to have a reason. But I needed to be beaten and battered enough to claim self-defense.
So I didn't protect myself. I didn't fight back. I let him do what he wanted, even as every instinct screamed at me to run.
Oliver punched me in the face with such brutal force that it knocked me to the ground, making me feel like a helpless child again. My worst nightmare was coming for me.
Part of me wanted to run away. I knew what was coming next.
No amount of mental preparation could ready someone to willingly walk back into their trauma.
But I forced myself to stay for Leo. For the future, we could still save.
Because I didn't feel like there was any other way my family could have peace.
I spat blood onto the asphalt and looked up at him with defiance. "Is that all you've got? For someone trying so hard to feel like a man, you hit like a child."
"I don't think you're in any position to keep provoking me, Lily," he replied with a smirk on his face.
"I'm not afraid of you," I lied. "People like you love to intimidate with words, but when it comes down to actually facing someone, they're nothing more than cowards."
He grabbed me by the blouse and lifted me forcefully. "You think you're so superior, don't you? Think a few fancy words make you better than me?"
"No," I said, meeting his eyes with every ounce of courage I could muster. "I'm better because I can see exactly what you are, a coward who only feels powerful when he's hurting someone smaller than him."
The second blow caught me across the other cheek, stars exploding behind my eyes. But this time, he kept his grip on my shirt, preventing me from falling.
Then he wrenched open the car door and shoved me inside.
The moment my back hit the seat, I started having a panic attack. I wasn't ready. I would never be prepared to endure this again. No one should have to suffer the same trauma twice, no matter how noble their intentions. I didn't want him to attack me like that again.
I couldn't do anything helplessly watching this brute do whatever he wanted to me.
"Let me go!" I screamed, thrashing against him as he climbed in after me. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Not feeling so brave now, are we, little princess?" His laugh was a sound from my nightmares as he pinned my arms with one hand, his other moving to my thigh. "You know, I've always liked you. Kyle doesn't deserve you, and today I'm going to show you what a real man feels like."
I couldn't breathe. The world was closing in, black spots dancing at the edges of my vision. This was how I was going to die, not in some grand gesture of sacrifice, but helpless and terrified, just like before.
I saw my life flashing before my eyes. My mother's smile in the garden, Leo's laughter echoing through our house, Kyle's eyes when he looked at me like I hung the stars. All the moments of love and joy that made life worth living are about to be stolen from me again.
What did I do wrong to deserve this punishment twice?
I couldn't let him do it again. I couldn't let him ruin my life. I thought I was stronger than the first time, but I was wrong. And no one should ever feel ready to suffer.
Just as his hand moved toward the waistband of my jeans, just as I squeezed my eyes shut and prepared for the worst, the weight above me vanished.
I opened my eyes to see Kyle hauling Oliver from the car with a fury I'd never seen before. "Don't you ever touch her again," he snarled, his voice barely recognizable.
"Hey man, I can explain, she came to my—"
Oliver didn't finish what he was about to do because Kyle punched him in the nose, and suddenly, they were fighting. But it wasn't really a fight; it was devastation. Kyle moved with the precision of someone who'd spent years imagining this moment, every punch calculated to cause maximum damage.
Kyle was stronger. The fight looked completely uneven.
Oliver wasn't landing a single blow, while Kyle dodged and hit him harder and harder.
In the face, in the stomach. When Oliver hit the ground, Kyle followed him down, his fists rising and falling with mechanical efficiency.
It looked like he was going to kill him.
And part of me, the part that still woke up screaming from nightmares, wanted to let him.
But I couldn't watch another person I loved destroy their life because of me.
"Please, stop!" I stumbled from the car, my legs shaky, and pulled at Kyle's shoulders. "I'm fine. Just leave it. Please."
He tried to shake me off, his muscles coiled with tension. "I promised I'd protect you, Lily. I promised I'd save you this time. I can't let him hurt you again. I won't let you carry that guilt."
"No, Kyle. I don't need you to protect me like this. Coming here was my mistake. I can't lose you again."
At my words, he went still beneath my hands.
When he looked up at me, his eyes were wild with something between fury and heartbreak.
"Are you hurt? Did he—" His fingers traced the air around my battered face, not quite touching, as if I might shatter.
I didn't know how bad it was, but from the look on his face, I knew it wasn't very well.
"God, Lily, I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner. "
I shook my head, letting the tears fall from my cheeks. "You came exactly when I needed you. Now let's go before either of us does something we'll regret."
"Give me the keys, I'll drive. Everything is okay."
I handed them over with trembling fingers, casting one last look at Oliver, who was sprawled on the asphalt, glaring at us through swollen eyes but not daring to move.
"You should be grateful Kyle came," I told him, surprised by the steadiness of my own voice. "Otherwise, this would have ended very differently."
"By you, Lily?" Oliver spat blood onto the ground. "Don't make me laugh."
I didn't answer. I knew how it would all end for him, and realizing that I finally had the chance to avoid it gave me hope. Maybe it wasn't all going to end in tragedy; perhaps we could break the cycle after all. Maybe this time, nobody had to die.
Kyle took me to his house, and we both went up to his room in silence. Neither of us said a word to the other on the way home. I needed space to process what had just happened, and somehow he understood that without me having to ask.
He knew. Kyle knew I was the one who had hit Oliver 10 years ago. Since when did he know? Since when has he kept quiet without judging me? I felt so bad for lying to him, especially since we were both here trying to fix our mistakes, and I just couldn't let it go.
We sat on his bed, and he took out his first aid kit, and we both began treating each other's wounds. He treated my face, and I treated his hands.
"Lucky for both of us, we're the best nurses in training. Who would have thought our hospital skills would come in handy for street fighting?" He joked, finally breaking the silence between us.
I couldn't manage even a smile. "Kyle... how long have you known? About what I did to Oliver?"
His hands stilled on my cheek. "I had my suspicions for a while."
"How long is a while?"
"You were never the same after what happened to Oliver, and not just because your brother was being interrogated.
You were out of your mind. And the confidence with which you told me it wasn't Leo when you tried to convince me not to testify against him made me think that maybe you did know who it was. "
The antiseptic on the cotton ball stung as he dabbed at the cut on my lip, but not as much as his words. "Why didn't you say anything? Why did you still testify against Leo?"
"Because Leo told me to. He said he'd done it and didn't want anyone else taking the blame for his mistake."
"But you went to visit him in prison later to confirm the facts."
"I wanted to know if he remembered the same story he told me. But he didn’t."
"Oh my god..."
"And then I left. I couldn't bear the weight of having sent to prison someone innocent. My parents' divorce was also affecting me, and I'd lost someone I considered a friend."
"But you came back."
"I had to. I spent ten years running from my mistakes, but they followed me everywhere.
I felt I needed to right my wrongs. I couldn't handle the regret of having turned my back on everyone who needed me in their most vulnerable moments.
I was selfish, Lily, and I'll never tire of trying to make it up to you and my family for ruining everything. "
"Don't blame yourself. You were a kid, you had a lot on your mind too. I don't blame you for leaving."
"But you did. For so much time, Lily. I thought I lost you forever, and I couldn't live in peace with that feeling."
"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I was so angry for so long. I blamed you for everything when really—"
"Don't." His hands framed my face, thumbs brushing away my tears that were beginning to spill down my cheeks again. "You had every right to be angry. I failed you when you needed me most. I failed Leo. I failed everyone I claimed to care about."
"No. I was the one who ruined everything. And I almost ruined it again because I couldn't just forgive him."
"But you didn't," he said firmly. "And I won't let you carry that guilt anymore. Not alone."
I couldn't take it anymore; tears began to flow faster. I was a disaster. Many people make mistakes and learn from them. Others look for ways to avoid them again. And here I was, doing the same thing that ruined me again because I simply couldn't forgive.
"I'm sorry I didn't trust you with this secret."
"Hey," Kyle said, hugging me, "I was never the person who deserved to know that secret anyway. Stop blaming yourself for being scared."
"But I had so many opportunities to tell you now that we were back together, and I didn't do it either. I thought if I avoided the video, I could avoid everything else, but I fell back into the same error."
"You've had your reasons for not doing it. The important thing is that I was able to stop you in time, and everything's okay."
"Why are you so good to me? I'm a monster."
He cupped my face, making me look at his eyes. "You are not a monster, Lily, you are just a human. And humans make mistakes, and do impossible things to protect the ones they love."
"But why?"
"Because I love you," he said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I've loved you since we were kids, sharing secrets behind the church.
I loved you when you hated me, when you blocked me from your life, when you looked at me like I was a stranger.
And I'll love you long after we figure out how to get back to our own time. "
"I don't know what I did to deserve you," I replied. Because despite everything, he was still here. Even knowing everything I did, even knowing everything I could have done if he hadn't stopped me. I didn't deserve his compassion, and yet, here he was, giving it to me anyway.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you, either, Lily, but I promise to always make sure you feel it was worth giving me another chance."
I let him hold me as I cried. For the girl I'd been, for the future we'd lost, for the impossible gift of this second chance.
And when exhaustion finally claimed me, I felt something I hadn't experienced in ten years: safety.
The kind that goes beyond being protected, the kind that settles into your bones and whispers that if you fall, someone will be there to catch you. And somehow you believe it.
When I woke hours later, Kyle was still asleep beside me, his arm thrown protectively across my waist. For a moment, I just watched him, the peaceful expression on his face, the way his hair fell across his forehead, the steady rise and fall of his chest. And I felt at peace.
Grateful that he was by my side despite everything, and that he was able to stop the disaster.
I slipped carefully from his embrace and made my way home. I was terrified of everything that was coming, but at least I was free. And my family was too.