Chapter 38
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Idon’t wait for the carriage to come to a complete stop before I throw open the door and run down the steps.
I don’t even let Weston help me out, like I’m sure he was prepared to do.
Instead, I traipse through the entrance hall with one solitary focus: getting somewhere we can freely talk, where we won’t be hindered by the magic binding our speech.
What could this mean?
Why is the fountain so different, and so suddenly?
Is the change because of the magic? Or am I holding onto hope when the change can be explained by something as simple as the city preparing for the king’s funeral?
I can feel Weston right behind me, his loud steps pounding to keep pace with mine as I wordlessly speed through the castle. I don’t head to my room. It’s too far away, and I need to talk to him now, so I turn off and head to a room I haven’t been in for years.
The familiar smell of leather-bound pages calms my rapid breathing ever so slightly as I push open the door to the library. Weston catches it just before it closes, and I whirl on him as he slides the lock into place.
“Did you see it? Did you see the fountain?”
He nods and presses a finger to his lips. Stepping past me, he makes his way around the library, checking down every aisle of shelves and behind every armchair to ensure we’re alone before walking back to me.
“I saw.”
“It’s nothing like it was before. The water, the stone, it—”
“It is,” he says, pointing toward the city, where it lies outside of the walls, surrounded by my people walking past it on their way home with no idea of the magic they are so close to.
“That is what I remember. It’s what the fountain looked like when I called the Guardian.
It wasn’t the decaying thing that brought us home.
” His voice is different. Urgent. Hopeful. And I can’t deny I feel the same thing.
Something happened.
Something is different.
Taking a step closer, my eyes search his. “What do you think it means?”
He rubs his palm over his slackened jaw. “I don’t know. But it has to mean something. The magic was always intentional. I have to believe that includes the fountain.”
“What if…” My voice trails off as I try to remember every thought I had about the fountain and the magic. What we just learned from Edmond turned everything we thought we knew upside down, and I’m realizing that might happen once again.
But what if it is exactly how I thought all that time ago?
I squeeze my eyes shut and take a quick breath before starting again.
“When I first found the fountain, the way the fountain looked surprised me. It wasn’t the same as the story that led me there.
It was broken…not flowing. I thought it was a sign that the magic had dried up, and even if I figured out how to call the Guardian, it wouldn’t work.
But it did, and when I went to Berrendahr, the fountain looked the same as the one here.
Before, when you saw it, nothing had changed.
It was the way the story had depicted. What if it deteriorated because of Dane? ”
His eyes snap to mine, and I can see him working through the possibility. My stomach rolls and my skin tingles as my thoughts come tumbling out of my mouth.
“Dane cheated the magic when he became the Guardian. The person who tried to take from the island was the one in control of it all. What if that changed the magic? Dawnlin didn’t trust him. What if it was because of him all along?”
“And now he’s gone,” Weston murmurs.
“Now he’s gone,” I agree, and I can feel the excitement raging inside me, begging to come out.
“He’s not the Guardian anymore. Edmond is.
Someone who truly cares about Dawnlin and the myth staying alive is back in control.
He made sure we knew about the healing waters.
He truly wants to give people hope. He’s not someone who was trying to take for himself. ”
His hands rest on his hips as he nods slowly. “The island knows. It knows the threat is gone, and it doesn’t have to protect itself from him anymore.”
“Exactly. It trusts Edmond now. Not only is he the new Guardian, but he has been there before. He was worthy, Weston. It’s no longer being cheated.”
“Maybe the next person who finds it will actually have hope,” he grumbles.
There’s a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.
We all had hope, but couldn’t save who we came there to save, all because of what Dane planned, and what Storm and Brynne did to ensure it happened.
They all plotted to steal from the island and use the magic for their own gain.
Everyone else came there with genuine intentions, but because of them, the island hid everything to protect it.
Dawnlin didn’t have to protect itself any longer, not unless someone new and untrustworthy came along.
It had Edmond now, the most honorable and observant man that could be in charge of guarding the magic.
But what if everything is different now? What if now that the magic is safe and restored, all of us who Dawnlin denied could have a second chance?
“Weston,” I murmur, biting my lower lip nervously before looking up to catch his eye. “Do you think we should go back?”
His hands find my face, his thumbs brushing my cheeks as he tilts my chin up to see me more clearly.
“Lennox, you’re the queen now. We can’t go back.”
“Not to stay,” I say quickly. “We’ll never be trapped there again. Edmond wouldn’t allow it.”
“Then what are you saying.” It’s not a question, more of a statement, a plea for an explanation.
I inhale shakily as tears well in my eyes, and his face softens at the sight.
“I buried my father today. The entire time I wondered how soon it would be until I had to do this all over again with her. I know I said I would talk to the healers tonight about letting her go, but then I saw the fountain and I…” I trail off, my eyes searching his face, trying to find any sort of reaction to what I’m saying, but he gives nothing away.
“Weston, I can’t give up yet. I have to try one more time.
I have to know if I’m truly not worthy of helping her.
” A sob bursts from my chest, and he leans forward, his gaze intense as his eyes bounce between mine.
“I don’t care what Dawnlin says, you are worthy, Lennox. We all were.”
I sniffle, letting the tears fall freely down my cheeks, and he swipes them away with his thumbs. “If we all were…are, then we have to go back. If we are right, and it was all because of Dane, now that he’s gone, maybe we can save her.”
His jaw works tightly, and a fire lights in his eyes. “You want to leave and come right back?”
I nod as much as I can with his hands still clutching my face. “How long was Edmond gone? When he left for your mother?”
Weston’s eyes trail away as he thinks back to his childhood.
It was so long ago, back during a time that clearly was emotionally tumultuous for him, so he might not remember.
He may have blocked out all the details surrounding his mother’s death, except for the ones that come back to him when he sleeps.
“It was only a day, maybe two, although he spoke as if barely any time had passed at all. We know time doesn’t match up. It’s possible he left and came right back after the mountain.”
“If we do the same, then we would only be gone for a day. We can easily disguise our absence as grieving in my chambers.” The words fly out of my mouth as my excitement heightens. “I haven’t chosen my advisors yet. I need to leave someone in charge.”
“Tell me who and I will notify them while you change.”
I look down at my still-sopping dress, having completely forgotten from the new development that the fabric is still heavy with rain and sticks to my skin. Weston is always two steps ahead, because changing to go back to Dawnlin had been the farthest thing from my mind.
“Tila,” I say, looking up from the folds of my skirt. “I trust her to keep things in order.”
Nodding firmly, he shifts toward me, and one hand sinks into the damp hair at the nape of my neck. A shiver courses through my body as I look up into his face.
Jaw tight, and his eyes searching mine, his voice drops to a low grumble. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I don’t want to. I need to.”
Something flickers in his eyes, but his expression remains unchanged.
My mouth falls open, about to ask him what is wrong, but before I can utter a sound, his mouth is on mine.
Fingers fist in my hair as his lips coax mine open and his tongue sweeps inside, deepening the kiss.
Matching every movement, every stroke, I sink into him, trailing my hands up his body and clutching his armor to pull him closer.
Lifting onto my toes, I press my body into his.
After the morning filled with despair, the desire he’s sparking to life inside me is warm and welcome, but he breaks the kiss, pulling away slightly and trailing his nose down mine until our foreheads press together.
“I love you,” he murmurs, and my stomach tumbles in response.
I’m still not used to hearing him say those words, and after years of wanting and hoping to be loved and believing it would never happen, a tiny sliver deep inside me still has a hard time believing them.
“No matter what happens, I will always love you.”
“I know,” I reassure him and myself. My voice is breathless from the intensity of the kiss, and I try to lean back to meet his eye, but his arm flexes around me, clutching me so tightly that I can barely move.
The hand sunken in my hair slides down my neck, the warmth from his palm and fingertips burning a trail down my icy skin until it settles on my chest, flattening right over my heart.
“You hear me say the words, but I want you to feel it. In here, understand?” He presses more firmly into my chest, and from every place our bodies touch, I can feel the tension roiling through him.
“Weston, what’s going on?” Fighting against his strength, I lean back enough that I can look into his eyes, and see the dark depths of teal staring back at me with words unsaid. I search his face for an answer, but he ignores my question.
“Until my dying breath, remember?”
“I remember,” I breathe, and his lips crush mine again. His movements are more insistent, more urgent as his body towers over mine, walking me backward until the back of my legs bumps the side of the desk where Edmond and I spent so many years, preparing me for this day.
His tongue delves deeply as he crouches before me, just enough for his hands to fall to my thighs, sliding around until they grip my ass and lift me onto the edge of the desk.
Parting my legs, he steps between my knees and grips my hips, sliding my body to the edge of the desk until I’m flush against him.
Heat pools in my core as he presses into me, and despite the mounds of fabric and armor between us, every movement sends a shock of pleasure through me.
I moan into his mouth when he slides a hand down my thigh, hiking my knee up onto his torso and giving him more room to get as close to me as his uniform will allow.
Finally breaking away from the kiss, the stubble of his beard scrapes my skin as his lips brush over my chin and down my neck, leaving a burning trail of kisses in their wake.
“I love you.” His voice rumbles against the bare skin at the crook of my neck, and the throbbing between my thighs only worsens as I wrap my arm around his neck and clutch him closer.
“Weston,” I moan, as he slides the hem of the dress up, letting it pool at my waist.
“Yes, my queen?” His teeth nip at the skin on my neck at the same time as his thumb brushes my inner thigh, and I almost combust as I squeeze my eyes shut and force out the next words.
“Weston, we can’t do this right now.” Pain lances through my chest the second they come out of my mouth, because all I want is to be wrapped in his arms, to be full of him, and safe.
To have forgotten all the thoughts and worries and emotions that came from this day, but this day isn’t over. Not after what we discovered.
His body stills, and a deep sigh heaves from his chest into my neck.
My dress drops back down as his arms slide back around my waist, his muscles tightening as he crushes me to him.
He inhales deeply but doesn’t let go. Skating my fingers along his head and weaving them through his hair, I stroke gently, hoping it will help whatever turmoil he has going on inside his head.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, the sound muffled from where his lips are still pressed into my skin.
“Don’t be,” I whisper, but the moment he lets go and straightens before me, a pit hollows out my stomach. This tender moment is gone, at my request, and the intensity I’ve grown to love takes over.
The captain is back.
“We need to wait until the crowds have dispersed. The rain should help clear them quickly, but we can’t risk having too many people around.
Now that everyone has seen you, they will no doubt watch wherever you go.
We can’t disappear in an alleyway and risk someone noticing, so we are going to have to be discreet. ”
“Right,” I say with a nod.
“And we’re doing this the right way. We’re not cheating the magic. We’re not telling Pop we’re going back. We’re going to call the Guardian like we should.”
“I agree. I want to do this right.”
He leans in and presses a hard kiss to my lips again before pulling away quickly. I take his outstretched hands as he helps me lower myself off the edge of the desk, and set my skirts right before brushing a loosened strand of hair off of my face.
“Go get dressed, sweetheart. Let’s go back to Dawnlin.”