Chapter 15 - Donna
“Let go, Nicholas,” I command, but it’s met with his haughty indifference as he tightens his grip on my wrist, his chin tilted upward, eyes glowing with valiant determination.
“Never,” he declares in that smooth, cocksure tone that usually weakens my knees.
But it’s not how I’m feeling now.
I’ve been saying “yes” to everything.
“Yes” to Dominic’s optimism, since he suggested marrying his best friend for my safety.
Now, it’s “yes” to Delilah’s plans, to Arianna’s reassurances, to everyone holding this belief that I simply need to train and be prepared for the worst.
Saying “yes” is easier than telling them the truth—that I feel like I’m about to implode with all this pressure on me, as if my feelings don’t matter, as if I’m a brick wall who’s been numb to everything we’ve been facing.
Is it my fault? Did I give everyone the wrong impression by being consistently strong, never cracking?
Because the truth is, I haven’t had time to grieve.
Not the loss of my freedom, not the death of the life I built for myself outside this madness, a life and future I was looking forward to.
I haven’t grieved the loss of a friendship that was dear to me, even if it was one-sided.
I've barely made peace with the fact that I'm a witch.
I haven’t even had time to grieve the piece of me I gave to Nicholas last night.
I don’t even know who I am anymore. Witch, wolf, wife, weapon…it all blurs and seems to morph together in an unclear picture until I can’t tell where one ends and the other begins.
And I just wish Nicholas would leave me alone.
“Please,” I plead, my lips trembling as I fight the urge to let tears gloss over my eyes. “Just let me go.”
Nicholas’s eyes soften—the same damned way they did last night—and he releases my wrist, lifting his hand in a show of quiet surrender.
I step into my bedroom, too overwhelmed to slam the door in his face like I did on my first night here, and too paranoid to turn around and meet his eyes. I don’t stop walking until I’m at the bed, sinking onto it, only to find Nicholas hovering at the doorway.
He exhales sharply. “We need to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk,” I shake my head, but Nicholas is adamant, stepping inside and closing the door behind him, forcing me to get back to my feet to defend myself.
“Talking isn’t gonna fix anything. It’s not like it changes things.
” My paranoia flickers in a different direction this time when I see a pair of shadows moving across my curtain.
It’s Dominic and Tyler walking out through the porch.
Nicholas pauses too, but when their shadows disappear, he begins, “Donna—”
“No!” my voice cracks through the air like a whip, startling even me. “Stop saying my name like that. Stop looking at me like I’m some broken thing you can fix!”
Nicholas freezes, taken aback by the venom in my tone. I can’t stop now. I’ve been holding this in for far too long.
“I don’t need your sympathy, Nicholas! I don’t need you hovering, watching, waiting for me to fall apart. You already did enough damage!”
He blinks fervently as if he’s recovering from a slap across the face, his jaw tightening. “You think I don’t know that?” he asks with a frown.
“I think you don’t know anything!” The words tip out of my throat, sharp and raw. “You think you can just waltz back into my life, kiss me, sleep with me, and suddenly everything is fine? It’s not fine!”
He opens his mouth and tries to speak, but I keep going, every word a release valve for the pressure building in my chest. I let loose, and it isn’t pretty, and I keep going even though I’m shocked at myself.
“You think what happened between us last summer meant something? You rejected me, Nicholas. You made me feel like I imagined it all. And now you act like fate dragged us back together, like we’re some tragic love story written in the stars.
” I let out a long exhale, catching my breath, giving Nicholas time to counter.
“We’re fated mates, Donna,” he says as if it explains everything.
My heart skips a beat, but I tense up as he approaches me, putting up a hand to stop him. He’s the one who rejected me, made me feel crazy for thinking we were fated mates, and now he wants to use it to justify being here when I need space.
“No, maybe we’re not fated at all. Maybe we were just…wrong. Maybe I got it all wrong.”
He frowns, confusion flickering in his eyes. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do!” My voice breaks, trembling with something that sounds more like grief than anger. “Maybe the mate bond isn’t even real. Maybe that’s why the ritual didn’t work when I tried to save you, because whatever this is, it’s fake. It’s forced. It’s a lie!”
The last word leaves me shaking. My chest tightens, my vision swims, and suddenly I can’t breathe. The ground feels like it’s tilting beneath my feet, and I hug my arms around my chest.
“Donna—” Nicholas tries reaching for me, but I swat his hand away.
“Don’t touch me!” I yell, glaring at him ferociously now. “You were the one who said I’m young, called it ‘fun,’ and now you wanna call us fated mates?!” I scoff, exasperated. “Maybe you were right back then…we barely even knew each other, and it was only a fling.”
My heart is racing, and Nicholas doesn’t stop trying to come forward, his hand half-raised, when the air suddenly shifts.
A soft hum fills the space between us—not thunder, not wind, but something alive. The air grows warm, my fingertips tingling, and I look down only to see light gathering in my palms. I gasp, the pale gold spilling across my hands, curling like smoke in front of my face.
My breath catches. “What…what’s happening to me?” I whisper and look up with furrowed brows.
Nicholas stares at my hands, eyes wide but gentle. “It’s your magic,” he says calmly. “But it’s not lashing out. It’s healing.”
“Healing?” My voice trembles. “I’m not healing anything.”
“You are,” he murmurs. “You’re healing yourself.”
My jaw drops just as my eyes do, and the glow expands, rippling across my arms and seeping into my chest. The rage inside me stills, quiets, and the ache dulls. It feels like exhaling for the first time in days, like my body is remembering what inner peace feels like.
My knees wobble, nearly giving out, and Nicholas catches me before I fall. For a moment, I don’t resist. I just breathe against his shoulder, my tears soaking through his shirt as the light fades from my hands.
“I hate you…” I whisper hoarsely, though the words sound hollow now.
“I know,” he says softly, holding me tighter. “And I’m sorry. For everything. For the way I treated you last summer, for not protecting you sooner, for letting my pride destroy what we had before it even began.”
My bottom lip trembles, but I stay quiet. He continues, his voice low and steady against my ear.
“You’re right…We barely know each other. Maybe the bond doesn’t mean what we thought it did. But maybe that’s a good thing.”
I pull back just enough to look at his face, my heart threatening to be cracked open again. “How is that good?” I ask, my frown bordering on disappointment.
“Because it means we can start over. No titles. No fate. No pretending to have it all figured out.” His eyes soften. “We can start as friends.”
The word tastes strange on my tongue. “Friends…?” I echo numbly, to which Nicholas nods as he steadies me on my feet. It’s not a terrible offer, and it aligns with what I said about us being mistaken and not knowing each other much before our heated fling.
“For Dom’s sake,” he adds with a small, almost teasing smile.
That earns him a weak laugh. “He’d murder you if he knew about last summer.”
“Exactly.” Nicholas rubs a hand at his nape nervously when I’m steady on my feet again, and he releases me. “That’s why I’m offering a truce. I won’t bother you, but I will be the friend you need to help you through training. We just won’t tell Dom anything.”
Silence settles between us again, but it’s softer, less heavy. I can still feel the hum of magic in my chest, a faint echo of warmth that reminds me I’m still here, still whole, even with Nicholas’s offer of friendship.
“Thank you,” I say finally, barely above a whisper. “For…understanding. And for apologizing.”
He nods, stepping back just enough to give me space. “We’ll figure it out. Together. But on your terms this time.”
It’s the first time he’s said something I can actually believe.
When he turns to leave, the bedroom feels lighter, but maybe it’s just me. The storm inside me has quieted, even if it’s not completely gone, but it’s tamed enough for me to breathe again.
Nicholas just called a truce for us to be friends, and while that isn’t complicated, my feelings are. A flicker of disappointment is evident in my chest, but it only makes me more determined than ever to focus on my training as a witch.
Nicholas didn’t marry me because he wanted to—he married me for Dominic’s sake. A marriage for convenience, and that means I can’t rely on him to strengthen my powers. I have to become stronger and stand on my own two feet. At least this way, my heart will remain intact if we’re only friends.