Chapter 18 - Nicholas
Maybe it’s the echo of my father’s stern, commanding voice that still gnaws at the back of my head, but something feels different about today.
I woke up feeling this way, despite the rhythm I’ve come to rely on; the quiet mornings, the afternoons of training, and the evenings when the house feels too big for just Donna and me.
“Your pack is waiting on you, Nicholas…. You need to sire an heir…. Don’t disappoint me.”
The words sit in my chest like weighted stones, heavy and unwelcome. I haven’t told Donna any of it, and I won’t. She has enough pressure on her shoulders without adding “mother of my children” to the mix. The thought alone makes my stomach twist.
She deserves choice. Freedom. A life that isn’t predetermined by my father’s expectations or by the politics of a pack she never asked to lead. She hasn’t even decided if I’m more than just a friend to her, so I can’t possibly expect her to bear my kids.
Especially not in a time like this when she’s learning how to ace her abilities—skills that will save us all.
So, I throw myself into distractions so I don’t have to think about my father and his dictating ways.
And right now, that distraction is Donna.
She’s in the backyard again, training with Delilah and Gwen. Her hands glow with ribbons of gold, her eyes sharp with focus. Sweat glistens along her brow as she moves through a sequence Gwen taught her.
Concentration, channel, and then release.
A whirlwind of air ripples from her palms, sending a stack of rocks tumbling in one controlled burst. She’s stronger every day. More confident. Surer of herself.
And she’s breathtaking while she does it.
A swell of pride puffs my chest, unexpected and fierce. Watching her like this as she owns her power, refusing to be small, makes something inside me soften in a way I can’t turn off anymore. It also awakens something primal in me at the same time.
Delilah claps once. “Good! Again, but ground your stance more.”
Donna adjusts her feet, lifting her chin with that stubborn determination I’ve always admired.
I should walk away. I know she can sense me watching, and I don’t want to distract her. But I linger anyway, arms folded, leaning against the post of the back porch like a man who’s lost all sense of self, who only knows his mate.
Her next burst of energy shoots forward, more controlled this time. Gwen beams. “Now you’re getting it.”
Donna exhales, her shoulders falling, her eyes flickering instinctively toward the house, toward me, and she seems to stifle her smile.
I straighten, pretending I wasn’t staring at her like some lovesick idiot, but our eyes meet across the yard, and I’m hooked.
Something quiet flickers between us, and it’s no longer hostile. It feels like acknowledgment, warmth, something fragile and uncertain, but promising. She doesn’t look away immediately, and neither do I.
A few seconds later, she turns back to Gwen. “One more round?”
She’s relentless, and I love that about her.
But the pressure in my chest brought on by the guilt of the past and the conversation with my father the other day starts to tighten like a vice. I need air. Space.
I haven’t told Donna about my father’s demands, and for now, she doesn’t need to know.
I slip inside, grab a jacket, and I’m about to leave when Beta Evan calls me through the mind link to remind me of our weekly meeting to discuss patrol rotations and hunting schedules. The reminder is welcome, because it’ll give me something to do to distract myself for a while.
***
The late afternoon is warm and quiet as I walk through the stretch of woods behind my house.
The leaves whisper overhead, sunlight dripping through the branches in soft, golden hues.
I take the familiar trail automatically, boots crunching against gravel and moss, the weight of the velvet gift box pressing against my pocket with each step.
I’ve carried it around all week.
A pathetic habit that I’ve picked up every time I go into my study, but I keep thinking that one day, the moment will feel right. One day, she’ll look at me the way she used to, even for a second.
One day, I’ll stop being such a coward.
The trees part, opening into the small clearing near the lake. The water gleams in the afternoon light, still and silver, reflecting the sky. The rock sits at the edge of the water—the same rock that held more of our memories than either of us will ever admit aloud.
She’s there, and my heart stops.
Donna sits on the rock with her knees pulled to her chest, hair whispering in the breeze, gaze fixed on the water like she’s looking for answers inside it, or staring at her own reflection. But the latter is too vain for someone like Donna, though I wish she saw her beauty through my eyes for once.
The air leaves my lungs, unsteady and raw. The meeting wasn’t planned, but it feels inevitable. Like the universe patiently waited for us to stop running circles around each other. Shrill, my heart hammers in my chest as I search for courage over cowardice.
I take a step closer, careful not to startle her. “Didn’t think I’d find you out here.”
Her shoulders tense for a moment, then soften as she glances back at me, surprise flickering across her face, but not annoyance. Her eyes actually sparkle with warmth and invitation.
“Nicholas,” she says softly. “I just…needed a moment.”
“I know the feeling,” I chuckle lightly, watching as she turns her eyes back toward the lake, the wind catching the loose strands of her hair. The scene is so painfully familiar that my heart squeezes.
I step beside her, letting the silence settle between us. It’s not uncomfortable now. It’s…easy.
Then I reach into my pocket and brush my thumb over the velvet box.
It’s time.
Time for honesty, time for something sincere.
For something that’s hers.
“Donna…” I murmur, moving closer to her. “I have something for you.”
Her breath catches when she looks up at my hand, at the small velvet box resting in my palm. I crouch down beside her, and her brows pull together, surprise softening into something warmer. “What…is that?”
“It’s your…” I gulp on my hesitation. “It’s your graduation gift,” I admit, voice low. “I should’ve given it to you back then, at Terramor. But things got…complicated, as you know.”
“Y-you got me a graduation gift?” Her frown deepens, and I nod nervously, keeping my head down as I open the box to reveal the thin silver chain with the teardrop moonstone on the pendant.
I pick up the chain, holding the piece of custom-made jewelry so the light catches it and highlights its shine.
“Of course, I got you a graduation gift,” I admit earnestly. “I wasn’t gonna show up that night empty-handed. Not when it’s you.”
Donna’s gaze flickers to mine, and for once, there’s no wall between us. No sharp edge of resentment. Just curiosity. Quiet intimacy. The possibility of something real.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispers in awe as she reaches out tentatively, brushing her fingertips lightly over the pendant. “Thank you.”
“May I?” I ask, pointing to her neck. She nods and turns her back to me, then sweeps her hair over one shoulder.
Gulping hard when she can’t see me, I shuffle closer to her on the rock, then place the necklace over her neck. My fingers and knuckles brush the warm skin of her nape, igniting the awareness that has always been there every time I touched Donna.
The sun dips lower, painting her skin in gold as I secure the clasp, and with my breath lodged in my throat, I spare a moment to stare at her scent gland. My inner wolf stirs, fantasizing about claiming her for good.
That liberty, that honor would have been mine if I hadn’t made the biggest mistake of my life last summer. But somehow, when Donna turns and meets my eyes, that mistake I made doesn’t feel like the end of the world.
And that’s where everything shifts, where the past meets the present.
Where the truth finally demands space, and I decide that now is not the time to be a coward.
“It looks beautiful on you, Donna,” I compliment, eyes flicking to where she’s toying with the pendant between her thumb and index finger, and my lips curl to a smile.
“Thank you, Nick,” she whispers, averting her eyes and staring at the lake now.
“You’re welcome, Donna,” I sigh, getting comfortable on the rock. Though there’s some distance between us, the air is charged with the energy of our mate bond, an etheric cord binding us. It’s time to bridge that distance.
“We need to talk…” I say gently, bracing myself for her resistance.
But it doesn’t come.
“I know,” she relents with a sigh, still maintaining her gaze on the lake. “I overheard your conversation with your father the other day. What was that about?”
My brows furrow gently, even though Donna doesn’t turn to me. “You overheard that? I was hoping you didn’t,” I grimace.
“I didn’t hear much, but just enough to know it had something to do with me,” she admits, and I nod slowly.
“My father is demanding the next heir for the alpha mantle,” I say flatly, and Donna turns, eyes wide with disbelief.
“What?!” she exclaims, and I notice the exact moment when a stroke of realization hits her, and the color drains from her face. She lifts a hand to the necklace, brows furrowing. “Is that why you’re here? Why you gave me this?”
“No…no! Of course, not,” I protest, lifting my hands in a show of surrender, to show her that it wasn’t my intention. “I didn’t give you that as some kind of bribe. I’ve been wanting to give you this ever since Terramor, I just…” I hang my head in shame. “Didn’t have the guts to do it.”
“Why?” she asks, and I keep my head down.
“Because I know what I did last summer hurt you, Donna, and it’s been eating me up inside.
I h-hurt myself as much as I hurt you, and it’s been killing me ever since,” I choke out, a lump forming in my throat.
“I couldn’t even bring myself to tell you what my father said the other day, because truthfully, I have no right to you.
I lost all of my rights when I rejected you, and I am terribly sorry for what I did. ”