Chapter 25
I climbed the mansion stairs with heavy steps, my heart racing and anger boiling inside me.
I stormed into my room, furious with Ayaz, and slammed the door behind me.
The argument with him at that damned party had gone horribly wrong.
Our relationship was going through a turbulent phase, and I couldn’t contain my frustration.
How could he say something so cruel? “When the son no longer needs his mother, she will leave.” That’s not true!
A son needs his mother by his side his entire life.
I knew better than anyone how painful it was to grow up without parents around. How could a baba think that way?
Can, my son, was agitated and restless, surely sensing the tension in the air.
I sighed and walked over to the crib, picking him up and rocking him gently.
His innocent eyes watched me, and his small body nestled against my chest. Did he not need me anymore already?
, I asked myself while he was still nursing.
I felt myself calm down as my son’s warmth pressed against me, as if his touch alone could make me happy.
As I nursed him, the moon peeked through the window, casting a soft, magical light over us. My baby gazed at me with curious eyes as he fed. Even in that moment of distress, his innocent, pure gaze was a breath of fresh air for my weary soul.
“You know, Can, your father... Oh, Can, I don’t know what got into him,” I whispered to my son.
“What he said to everyone at that party was humiliating. How could he do that? Say that when you don’t need me anymore, I’ll leave?
As if I were so disposable, it’s so complicated... He wasn’t like this when I met him.”
“And that party, son! It seems like it’ll never end.
” I snuggled him closer and soothed him while looking out the window.
“The sound of laughter, loud music, their happiness... I can’t believe everyone down there is having fun while I’m up here, exhausted and sad.
I just want peace, Can.” I sighed, placing him in the crib and adjusting the sheet over him.
“I just wish I could fall asleep, forget about all this for a while. I don’t know what the future holds for your father and me, but...
I don’t want you to be affected by this. ”
When Can finally fell asleep, I placed him carefully in the crib. I gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead and covered him with the soft sheet. He looked so serene, oblivious to all the world’s worries. I wanted so badly to be like him, without problems, without resentments.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t fall asleep.
I was on edge, and the noise from the party in the mansion’s main hall—which had died down somewhat but was still audible—didn’t help at all.
How could they be so selfish? Didn’t they care about other people’s rest and well-being?
I lay down in bed, but sleep wouldn’t come.
The argument with Ayaz, the guests’ disapproving looks—all of it kept hammering away in my mind.
I lay there with my eyes open for what felt like forever, until the noise finally stopped, silence settled over the mansion, and everything seemed calmer.
The party had ended, and the laughter and voices faded into the distance.
I was about to drift off to sleep when I heard footsteps approaching the room.
My heart raced again. I knew Ayaz was coming. I wasn’t prepared for another round of interrogation, for the curt words and cold looks. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, pretending I was already asleep.
The bedroom door opened gently, and I felt his presence approaching Can’s crib.
I heard a soft sigh full of affection, followed by a whisper of tender words.
I opened one eye discreetly and saw Ayaz leaning over the crib, looking at our son with tenderness—the way he used to look at me in the past, when he thought no one was watching.
I kept pretending to be asleep, but I couldn’t help sneaking glances at him every few moments, unable to look away. I was captivated by the care he showed his son.
Ayaz said nothing, just gently adjusted Can’s blanket and stayed there for a moment, his back to me, caressing our son’s face with tender fingers. My heart warmed at the scene. It was a side of him he’d shown me when we were dating—a caring, protective side I had fallen in love with.
Then he moved toward me, and I quickly closed my eyes, pulling the sheet up with the same delicacy. His fingers traced the contour of my face, caressing me gently, and I continued pretending to be asleep. He whispered words I couldn’t understand, but the tone was one of admiration.
He touched me with such affection... I could feel his tenderness. Perhaps there was hope for us. Who knows—deep down, maybe he still loved me the way I loved him. I didn’t know what the future held for us, but that night, in that moment, I felt loved and protected.
I kept pretending to be asleep, a slight smile on my lips, while he watched us with affection, the room now filled with love and hope.
Ayaz stayed there for a few more minutes, watching us with a soft gaze.
At last, he kissed my forehead and left the room, closing the door carefully.
I finally let the tears flow—not from sadness or suffering, but from gratitude.
In that instant, I realized that despite our disagreements, there was still love between us.
That gesture made me realize that despite our differences, Ayaz still cared about me. That moment was special and made me feel more secure about my future with my son. I fell asleep with a smile on my face, knowing that not all was lost.