Chapter 33
I was furious.
Eda had laid down a condition for us to get back together: I had to ask forgiveness for everything I'd put her through. I, Ayaz—a man who had never so much as apologized in his life—was facing this impossible demand. I had never surrendered to anyone, and I wasn't about to start now.
She said I needed to apologize for our past before we could get back together and become a family, but I couldn't understand what I'd done wrong.
I wasn't perfect—far from it—I had plenty of flaws.
But she needed to understand that our situation was complicated.
After all, she had hidden from me that she was the enemy's daughter.
I loved them both so much it hurt, and now that I'd admitted my feelings, they seemed even stronger.
But I couldn't apologize for something that wasn't entirely my fault.
It wasn't that I didn't want to be with her—I wanted that more than anything, and I'd made it perfectly clear.
I loved her more than anything in the world, and our son was living proof of that love.
But asking for forgiveness was something I just couldn't do.
It was an act of humility that was beyond me, something that simply wasn't in my nature.
I needed to vent to someone, so I went looking for my cousin Murat.
I think he was sick of hearing me complain by now.
I was sitting in the mansion's garden, staring at the horizon, lost in thought—restless, my eyes reflecting the anguish I felt—when Murat arrived and came over to me.
He'd known me since I was a child and had always been someone who told me the truth.
I told him everything that had happened, and he advised me to think more carefully about the situation.
“Ayaz, it's obvious something's really bothering you,” he said with concern. “What happened this time?”
I sighed and looked at him, cursing the situation I'd gotten myself into.
“It's Eda, Murat,” I said, frustrated. “She wants me to ask forgiveness for everything I did in the past, and I... I can't do that.”
My cousin and confidant sat down beside me, his face full of empathy and understanding.
“Ayaz, I know that in our world, asking for forgiveness is a sign of weakness,” he continued calmly, “but relationships are complicated.
Sometimes acknowledging our mistakes and apologizing is the only way to move forward.
Maybe there's another way to do this—without saying the words, you know—through actions.”
I shook my head, my frustration growing.
“I understand that, Murat, but look...” I growled. “I've never asked for forgiveness or fallen in love before in my life, and now she wants me to do both at once? How do I do something that goes against my very nature?”
Murat placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“Ayaz, it's hard for me too to talk about things I don't understand, but they say love changes people,” he said calmly.
“Sometimes we need to make an effort to do what's right, even when it's hard.
Eda is—and we know she always has been—important to you, and now you have a son together.
Maybe it's time to reconsider your position. It can be something just between the two of you. No one needs to know what happened.”
I pulled away, feeling the weight on my shoulders. I knew he was right, but I also knew it wouldn't be easy.
“Murat, you don't understand...” I said, frustrated.
“Eda's father is the man who murdered my baba, and we broke up because she hid that from me.
I was blinded by hatred. I'm not the only one at fault here. Besides, how can I ask forgiveness from his daughter? How can I just ignore everything he did?”
Murat looked at me, his expression serious.
“Ayaz, you're not asking forgiveness from Eda's father.” He smiled gently. “You're asking her—the woman you love, the mother of your son. Don't blame her for choices or actions that were Hilal Aydin's.”
My hands clenched into fists, but I knew my cousin was right.
It was time to set aside my pride and accept that if I wanted Eda and our son back, I would first have to learn to ask for forgiveness.
It was a change that terrified me, but I would do it for love—even if it meant waking the ghosts of the past.
He also said that if I truly loved Eda, I had to understand that she wasn't to blame for what Hilal Aydin had done.
I knew he was right, but still, I couldn't imagine myself asking forgiveness from her—or from anyone.
After all, I was Ayaz, the cruel one, the most feared and ruthless of the Turkish mafia bosses.
I needed to find a solution to this impasse.
I began thinking of ways to show Eda that I loved her, that I was willing to do whatever it took to win her back—except ask for forgiveness.
That was too much for me. Maybe I didn't need to beg for forgiveness with words.
Maybe I could demonstrate my love in other ways.
In the end, I decided to follow my cousin's advice and try to find a way to show Eda that I truly loved her. I needed to prove to her that our love was stronger than any ghosts from the past. And with time, I knew we could overcome everything together.