Chapter Twenty-Three #2
WAIT. PLEASE. WAIT.
The prince sounded desperate in her mind. But she told herself not to listen. He was just going to lie again. And she was tired, so, so tired of being second best.
Star—-
She ran faster even as she choked back a sob. Don't call me that!
The pain in her voice drove both man and beast insane. Please. Just give me another chance-—
The sound of hysterical laughter cut him off. A-another c-chance? Another hysterical laugh lashed his mind. I know everything now, remember? So I know...I know you never wanted a chance with me-—Her voice broke.
And the beast of him howled as it sensed Estrella's own heart shattering in pieces.
I know you'll d-die if you try to destroy our bond.
Lysander whitened. Once broken, their bond could never be repaired again, and he could not - would fucking not let that happen. He gazed at her shrinking form in the distance, despair having given her extraordinary speed. Star, please—-
I'll d-do it for the both of us-—
He knelt down and dug his claws into the soil, and the earth began to move. He heard her cry out as the soil under her started changing.
Estrella fought hard to regain her balance. Stop this!
His claws dug deeper, and the changes became more rapid. Not until you listen to me.
The land she was trying to balance herself on suddenly dipped, like a flat and even road gaining a downward slope out of the blue. It had her stumbling and falling, rolling and tumbling down...until she found herself landing on her butt and a twelve-foot beast staring down at her.
A beast with the most hurtfully beautiful violet eyes—-
She started to cry, and the sight devastated him.
One would think that Estrella in her Lyccan form would look fiercer, but no.
With her blood-matted fur, her green wolf eyes silently welling up with tears -—she had never looked more fragile, and it killed him, knowing he was the one who had hurt her.
The beast sank to its knees. I'm so fucking sorry.
Then let me go, she sobbed in his mind. You never wanted me, never chose me—-
I'm choosing you now, he said savagely.
But she just shook her head, and the beast howled as fear and desperation ravaged the man. He could feel her slipping from him, her mind frantically doing its best to build walls between them, and the growing distance was pushing Lysander towards the furthest edge of his sanity.
Listen. Please. Just please goddamn listen.
But for every wall he demolished, she kept building new ones, higher and unscalable ones that were filling him with terror. He started to shift, thinking that by holding her and kissing her his touch might convey what his words couldn't. But the moment the wind turned icy, he heard her cry out—-
Don't!
The walls in her mind wavered at the depth of her distress, enough to let him catch a glimpse of what she was hiding—-
I d-don't think I'll be able to stand myself if I see you...knowing...
And that was when he saw the girl hiding within the wolf.
Please...please don't make me see you now—-
She wasn't just crying. Wasn't just hurting. She was fading.
I w-wouldn't be able to bear it.
Because he had made her believe she wasn't bright enough to shine.
****
MY LOVE.
Whispered so faintly, the words almost didn't register, and only when he spoke again did Estrella realize that she hadn't imagined hearing him say the words.
Listen to me one last time, my love.
Her brain begged her not to listen, but her heart was stubborn even as it continued to bleed.
Green eyes lifted to his, and the despair in them slashed at him. One last time, he thought bleakly. He had to fucking try one last time, because he knew, imperfect as he was, no one in this world could ever love her the way both the beast and man in him loved her.
So just one last fucking time, and then he would go, if it turned out that she could only shine with him out of his life.
You were right. I never chose you.
Estrella's heart lurched.
I never chose you the way I once wanted to marry Misty. Guilt flayed him at the way her lips trembled at his words, but he forced himself to continue, knowing that this time, everything had to come out in the open. I never chose you the way I wanted Fina to be my mate.
Estrella's nails dug deep into her palms.
But you, my Star... Lysander's throat tightened. I chose to love you.
Her gaze flew back to his.
The beast doesn't need me to love my mate. But I fell in love with you anyway. And that was my choice. I loved you when I thought you were perfect. I loved you when I was being an idiot and thought you had fallen off the pedestal I myself had put you on.
An icy wind blew around them, and Estrella cried out. No. But when she opened her eyes, it was too late. The man she had loved, and the man who had broken her heart far too many times, the man who was so beautiful that her heart still ached at the sight of him—-
That man was staring at her now with love in his eyes.
And she just couldn't make herself believe it.
She just couldn't.
Couldn't.
The wolf tried to run away, but the prince with the soul of a beast was faster, and Lysander locked her into place as his arms wrapped tightly around her body. I'm not done talking.
The wolf howled and snarled, baring its fangs as it attempted to free itself.
The jinn spoke of a prophecy—-
I don't want to hear it, she screamed in his mind. Just let me go—-
But still the prince held on and kept talking. A wall that breaks his heart...
She knew immediately what the words meant, and her pain knew no bounds. She twisted around and sank her teeth into his flesh.
The one that shines to make it beat once more, he continued doggedly as her teeth dug deeper.
A beast to overcome. And he started to bleed.
And a betrayal that may ruin all.
She pounced on top of him, her claws just inches away from slitting his throat, but he didn't look away.
I thought you'd betray me. It was why I believed in Fina's lies so easily. It never occurred to me that the betrayal...would come from me.
Both wolf and princess cried.
I should've never doubted what I already knew when I first met you.
He pushed himself up. The first time we met, I already knew you'd be the kind of woman to take everyone's breaths away.
The kind of princess everyone would worship.
But most of all, I knew even then that you'd be the kind of star that would shine so brightly you could light up the fucking universe.
He slowly laid out one hand. I'm sorry I made myself forget those things, ma belle etoile.
But if you trust me just one last time, I will devote my entire life to you.
His eyes closed. I love you, Star. And then he waited.
Even with hope dying for every second that passed and he heard and felt nothing - he waited.
After all the pain he caused her, waiting was the only thing he had a right to do.
More moments ticked by.
It was over, he thought dully. If he opened his eyes, she would be gone, and the rest of his life would be swathed in darkness.
No more Star squealing in his mind just because he called her 'wife'.
No more Star looking up at him like he was the most beautiful thing in the world even if he was a twelve-foot beast with the horns, fangs, and tail to match.
Oh God.
He might as well be dead. But it was the least—-
And then he felt it.
Thick, silky soft fur rubbing against his palm.
His eyes flew open.
And he found himself staring into green eyes filled with tears as the wolf rubbed its head against his hand. God. So much tears. But glimmering more brightly behind them was forgiveness...and love.
Lysander.
Her voice shook, and as he pulled her close to wrap his arms around her flank, she felt his own tears wet her fur—-
Je t'aime, ma belle etoile.
The way his own voice broke at the end had her crying harder. Je t'aime aussi. Her eyes closed as his arms tightened around her. Never let me go, she whispered.
A rather difficult request, considering how his (gaping) soldiers and all three of her (glowering) brothers had finally caught up with them...and saw him naked with his arms around their baby sister's wolf form.
But because he had meant it when told his wife he would devote his entire life to her—-
He kissed the top of her forehead, saying gruffly, Never.