Chapter Twelve #2
“What? Me?” I fake a laugh even as my heart churns at just hearing talk about another woman. “I would never be so unreasonable.” Okay, that’s a big, fat lie, but since the lessons I’ve learned from today’s class are still fresh on my mind—
You’re doing great, Sam...all things considered.
I hate lying as a rule, but maybe if I keep telling myself I’m not bothered then eventually I won’t be, and what was once a lie may become the truth?
“In that case, I should get back to her then.”
What?
He turns around, and I...I just react.
“Wait!”
I only realize I’ve grabbed hold of the back of his shirt in sheer desperation when he glances over his shoulder.
Oh gosh, someone stop me from turning into a jealous little witch!
I jerk my hand away, but of course, it’s too late. The damage has been done, my lies have been exposed, and when he cups my chin to force me to meet his gaze—
“A woman should always be honest with her mate, Samira. Truth is what enables me to take care of you the way you need me to.”
He makes such a good point that I can only lower my head and make my confession in a small voice.
“I’m sorry for being so silly.”
“Silly isn’t bad, but being dishonest is.”
Ouch.
“Shall we start over?”
I bob my head without looking up.
“Are you bothered by the sight of another woman talking to me?”
More head bobbing.
“Why?”
I gulp, gulp, and gulp, mostly because I know preternatural hearing allows people nearby to hear his softly spoken question, and that includes the same Caro female who’s still in the dining hall.
“Samira?”
The thought of having to put my feelings into words makes me feel like fainting, but since I do owe him the truth this time—
“Because I’m jealous—”
“Wrong.”
My confused gaze flies up to him. “But I really was—”
“You were bothered because you forgot one of the most important things about being my mate.”
Huh?
“You belong to me—”
I think I’m going to swoon.
“And I belong to you.”
Okay, you know what? I am going to swoon, and I feel like swooning even more when I let my knees crumble without warning, but my alpha being the super swift Leopard King that he is—
“Samira...”
Hexius catches me in time, natch. But he also says my name in part-exasperation and part-chastisement as he swings me up in his arms, and the sound has me quickly wrapping my arms around his neck in an effort to muffle my laughter.
“Do not take such risks again.”
Oh, please do be still, my silly heart.
The gentle reproof in his tone makes me realize he really was seriously worried, and sure, I know we humans are like fragile glass compared to preters, but has he forgotten what my job is?
When I belatedly notice how all eyes are on us, I start wriggling to be released, but this only makes Hexius tighten his hold as he carries me out of the dining hall.
Throughout it, he also hasn’t stopped talking, berating me over my supposed foolishness, albeit in a low and calm voice.
I think this is the most he’s spoken since coming back to my life, and the Leopard King being so worried over me, a woman who risks her life for a living—isn’t it the cutest thing ever?
Memories of today’s class come back to my mind.
Feelings between mated couples aren’t guaranteed.
But this time, it’s different.
And that’s fine—
Because I also remember what Maryah was quick to add as a final note.
Because feelings can also develop over time.
And I do believe that.
Even if it doesn’t make sense at first glance for a preternatural billionaire like Hexius to fall for someone like me, it’s not like the existence of leopard kings made sense at first either.
I mean, if there’s one thing that’s become quietly clear to me since That Day, it’s how walking by faith and not by sight now makes total sense. If demons are real, so is the One they’re afraid of, and that’s why—
I’m done lying to myself, God.
I’m in love with Hexius.
Please let me know that’s what You want, too?
****
IT’S ANOTHER DAY WITH Hexius, another day I’ve unintentionally caused trouble with a Panthera cub scoring a punch against him...all because of me.
Oops.
I didn’t mean to be a distraction, honest! But since the look in his eye tells me the Leopard King still means to extract revenge—
Uh-oh.
I run for dear life, but of course, it’s no use. He catches up to me, easy. And next thing I know, I’m tossed over his shoulder like I’m nothing but a sack of feathers, he’s locked us both in the armory, and—
Oh, my love.
I can only squeeze my eyes shut in a mixture of helplessness and gratitude that he can’t hear my thoughts, with the way he’s making it impossible for me to silently cry out the truth over and over as he tortures and pleasures me with his touch.
My love, oh, my love.
I feel like I’m losing my mind every time he takes me so, so roughly like this. And oh, the heat of his kiss, with his tongue driving inside of my mouth like I’m the most addictive thing he’s ever tasted—
I love you, Hexius.
I love you.
I love you.
My heart feels like it’s about to burst every time I whisper those words in my mind. I just want him to know so, so much how he means to me. But since I don’t have the courage to say them out loud, I can only think of some other way to express my feelings—
“I have a surprise for you.”
What I end up doing is something I never thought I’d do, and it has my cheeks burning like crazy as I take Hexius’ hand and lead him to the balcony.
I can feel his narrowed gaze following my every move, and my own heart skips a beat when I hear the sharp intake of his breath as he watches me slowly drop to my knees.
“Samira—”
I reach for him before I lose my nerve, unbuckling his belt and unzipping him, and oh, my stars...
Will I ever get used to the sheer length of him?
Or the size of him?
I don’t even know...
I can’t picture it fitting...
But because I also know there’s only one way to find out, well—
Mmph.
My eyes automatically drift close at the same time my lips close around him. I have no idea if I’m doing things right, but I think I am, if the sounds he’s making are any clue, and the way he’s gripping my hair so tightly, and he’s started directing the movements of my head.
I can barely breathe as the pace picks up, but I don’t care.
I really don’t. All I want is to make him happy because that makes me happy, and the way his big, strong thighs are trembling—it makes my own body tremble and my senses reel.
I can’t believe I’m affecting him this way, and I just..
.I just...oh, please, please, I just want him to—
“Samira!”
A powerful shudder rocks his big, hard body as he grits my name out, and then he’s coming inside of my mouth, and his essence is both nothing and everything I expected, pouring down my throat so, so fast that I almost choke.
Almost. But I manage to swallow every drop, and when he pulls me up, the look on my king’s gorgeous face. ..
Oh, Hexius, my love.
He’s completely undone, and the way he’s staring at me—
Oh, please, please, please.
Am I allowed to think that he’s started falling in love with me, too?
****
THE DAYS EVENTUALLY turn into a week, and this time, oh this time, I think I finally have the courage to tell my mate that I’m in love with him.
Just thinking about it makes me feel like throwing up, but at the same time, it also makes my heart flutter with wild hope. I guess this is what it means to be crazy in love?
I’ve just stepped out of the shower when I see him in our suite, but the smile on my lips falter at the look on his handsome face, and my stomach starts cramping out of the blue.
“Is...is something wrong?”
I ask this even though I already know.
“Is it the treaty—”
Even though I don’t want to face it, and a part of me desperately wants to stay blind—
“The treaty has been signed.”
A part of me already knows the truth, and all I can do is swallow hard as I look into the eyes of the man I love, but all he does is gaze back at me like he never knew me. “Then...what’s wrong? I d-don’t under—”
“This is about you and me.”
I know the truth is always meant to set us free.
“I’ve changed my mind about marrying you.”
But why, oh why does it have to hurt so, so much?