Chapter Fourteen
I DON’T REMEMBER LEAVING L’Alliance.
One moment I’m standing in that corridor, staring at Hexius on his knees with guards holding him back, his golden eyes burning into mine as he shouts words I can’t let myself believe.
The next moment I’m...somewhere else.
Walking.
My feet are moving, but I don’t remember telling them to.
Left, right, left, right.
The rhythm is automatic, like my body knows I need to keep moving or I’ll collapse right here on the...the...oh, stars, I don’t even know where I am now.
I blink, trying to focus through the tears that won’t stop falling. The building behind me is...oh, right.
I’m outside L’Alliance.
In the parking lot.
The back one, I think, because there aren’t many cars and the lighting is dimmer than the main entrance.
How did I get here?
I don’t...I can’t...
“If you really love me, why can’t you still read my mind?”
The memory of my own voice asking that question makes me stumble, and I have to grab onto a concrete pillar to stay upright. My legs are shaking. Everything is shaking. Or maybe it’s just me, trembling so hard I can’t tell where I end and the world begins.
Hexius says he loves me.
Loud enough for both humans and preters to hear.
But how can I believe him when he can’t read my mind?
So he has to be lying.
He just wants us mated to increase his power, but he doesn’t really care for me. At all. He only—
Stop it, Sam. Stop it.
I can’t let myself be bitter just because I’m not the kind of girl who can capture Hexius’ heart.
So stop it!
Please!
But my thoughts only continue to spiral, and I just can’t stop remembering all the times we made love had sex, and the time that I...that I even went so far as to go down on my knees—
My heart starts aching so bad that I end up clutching my chest.
What was he thinking that time?
Could I have looked so pathetic to him that—
Enough, Sam! Enough!
The thought cuts deeper than anything else, and I have to press my hand against my mouth to hold back the sob trying to claw its way out.
I should go back inside.
Right?
I don’t even have any money with me. And oh stars, I can’t believe I’ve just realized I’m only still wearing his shirt, and sure, it’s long enough that it looks this oversized dress on me, but even so. I must have been so out of my mind that—
“Stop this, Vaughn! Don’t do this!”
The voice is hatefully, painfully, and heartbreakingly familiar.
My head jerks up.
Brandy.
I recognize her the same way we recognize whatever breaks our heart. Remember her the way we remember the last time we cried.
“Do you think you can make a fool of me so easily?”
Arguing with a man who’s also familiar...but this time, it takes me more than a few seconds to realize who he is.
Vaughn.
I’ve only seen him once. In that doomed matchmaking meeting between Hexius and me. But I remember him because everything about that day is...unforgettable.
“How many times do I have to say this? I wanted things to work between us, but I just couldn’t make myself love you!”
My heart twists in agony upon hearing Brandy’s words. If Hexius had been the one saying them, it wouldn’t have made the words any less true, and the realization brings fresh tears to my eyes. Why did no one ever tell me loving someone who didn’t love you back would hurt so, so much?
I’m about to turn around when Brandy suddenly turns my way, and her entire face whitens.
Does she...recognize me?
“What the hell are you looking—” Vaughn turns toward my direction as well, and his face also changes. But instead of turning white like Brandy’s, his face slowly distorts with rage, and I find myself backing away even though I have no idea what I’ve done to make him so furious...with me.
“You.”
Me?
I stumble back another step...just as Vaughn slowly goes down on a knee.
Like someone about to pounce.
No. Oh no.
Everything happens too, too fast after that.
Just too, too fast for a human like me.
All I catch is a blurry image of flesh ripping into fur.
A vicious growl.
And then teeth tearing into my own skin.