Chapter 20 - Sage #2
"I just didn't think it would be so hard."
Noah frowned and leaned down. His mouth was an inch from mine, and his warm, sweet breath washed over my lips. "I need you," He whispered, and then sealed the confession with a kiss. "I'm not giving you up."
My heart pounded in my chest, and I wanted to tell him that I needed him too, but the words stuck in my throat. Instead, I let him kiss me until my eyelids fluttered shut. It wasn't the
demanding kiss of before, but something sweet and soft. The touch of his lips was brief, but it shook me to my core.
He needed me. That, too, complicated things.
While I teetered on the edge of sleep, Noah, despite everything on his plate, climbed into bed to hold me.
There was a challenging Alpha in his territory, a separate threat haunting his borders, a father that didn't appreciate the work he had done to save the pack, and then me, his mate, who still wasn't sure she wanted to stay.
Even with all of that, he took the time to pull me into his arms and hold me, stroking my hair and pressing his lips to the crown of my head.
In the arms of my mate, I fell into a dreamless sleep, my illness forgotten for the moment.
Hours later, with dawn cresting the horizon, I woke with Noah gone but another presence in the room. Bleary-eyed, I sat up and watched one of the pack's doctors, Leslie, puttering around the room. I dragged a hand over my face, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.
"Noah called you?" I asked, and the doctor jumped, whipping around to look at me.
"Good, you're awake," Leslie said, and she moved to press the back of her hand to my forehead, then my neck. "How do you feel?"
"Better," I admitted. "Just a bit tired."
Leslie hummed. "Well, Noah is dealing with some things, so he's asked me to stay here while he handles them."
I was tempted to ask what was happening, but decided against it. Instead, I focused on the doctor and her questions, and the check-up she performed on me. As a healer, I knew I could have run through everything myself, but I endured it all simply because I knew it would put
Noah's mind is at ease. I had no idea what had happened to me in that clearing, but I chalked it up to a panic attack or something similar. After all, the situation had been panic-worthy.
It wasn't until Leslie had me lift my arms and she palpitated my abdomen that the doctor's expression changed. She had me lie back and pressed around the area a little bit more before shooting me a shocked look.
"Wait right here."
Five minutes later, she'd fished a palm-length white box from her medicine bag, and not long after that, the two of us were staring at the positive pregnancy test in stunned silence.
I was pregnant. With Noah's baby, I was terrified.
"This explains what happened to you yesterday. Your magic is going to make you even more sensitive to the pregnancy. You need to take it easy."
"Noah can't know," I said, my voice hollow.
Leslie blinked at me, "What do you mean? He's the Alpha. He should be told right away."
"No," I insisted. "Please, Leslie. I'll tell him, but I just need some time, okay? I want to be the one to share it with him."
It was half a lie—I really needed the time to figure out what to do, but I had no intention of telling Noah.
The pregnancy shattered the careful happiness I had started to feel. It wasn't the first time that had happened. Every time I got too comfortable in the Silvervine pack, something would happen to throw a wrench into it. First, Noah rejected our bond, and now a child that Noah was sure to hate.
My child, who would more than likely have my magic.
The same thing that had made me a pariah in the pack before.
As much as Noah had changed, I was having a hard time convincing myself that he'd changed enough that he would be okay with having a witch child.
The harsh words he'd used to reject me echoed in my skull until my head was pounding.
And then there was Richard. Throughout everything, Noah hadn't cut his father off, so what would it be like for my child to have a grandfather so full of hate?
"I'll leave the test here for you," Leslie said, snapping me out of my thoughts. She was gathering her supplies and looked up at me as she stuffed the last of them into her bag. "Please think about talking to him, Sage. He has a right to know."
"I'll talk to him." It was a flat-out lie, but she didn't need to know that. "Thank you so much, Leslie."
As soon as she was gone, I sank onto the bed and buried my face in my hands.
My mind raced, and the panic and fear were overwhelming.
I felt sick all over again, and I had no idea how long it would take Noah to return.
I didn't even know if he would come back today, not with everything else going on.
That was fine. I needed the space because if I was going to run, it would have to be soon. And I wasn't going to be able to do it alone, either.
***
It wasn't easy, but I managed to track down Joe and his wolves without Noah catching me.
I still felt abysmal, but I was backed into a corner.
My child wasn't going to live with people who hated them, and I was certain that Noah, as much as he'd changed for the better, would falter when it came to his heir being a witch.
He said that he cared for me, but how far would that carry? Did Noah value every part of me, even down to the magic that had made me a freak in the eye of the pack five years ago? Or was he just fooling himself?
I wanted to trust him, I wanted to believe in him, but when I thought about the little life inside of me, it just wasn't worth the risk.
I found my former Alpha and his men at the Council house, where Cal had stored them overnight.
Sleeping bags were scattered on the floor, along with takeout boxes and six pissed off wolves.
Outside, Noah had guards posted, and I knew they'd tell Noah that I was there the moment I was out of earshot, so I had to make my talk with Joe quick.
"You came," Joe said, and he sounded a little relieved. "I was afraid that Noah wouldn't let you." "He's not my jailer, despite what it looks like."
Joe didn't seem convinced. "How are you feeling?" "Better," I lied, "I'll be alright."
"Are you sure? If you're sick—"
"I'm not sick," I said firmly, cutting him off.
I wasn't going to confess my pregnancy right there in front of Joe and his warriors, especially considering Noah's guards were probably listening in.
I wouldn't have dreamed of speaking to an Alpha so harshly before, but after spending some time as the Silvervine Luna, my perception was different.
"I'm fine. I just..." The words were hard to get out, like they were stuck in my throat.
"I want to go back to Brokenclaw territory with you. "
Joe crossed his arms, looking me over slowly, "I'm glad to hear that, Sage, but if Noah really is your mate, it isn't going to be easy to be separated from him. If you want to stay, I won't stop you."
"I can't, Alpha...things have...changed."
My former Alpha didn't seem surprised, and he sighed.
"Noah isn't going to give you up willingly.
He took you against your will, so you're still my wolf as far as I'm concerned, and I will get you out of here, hell or high water.
But I just want you to be sure, Sage. If you leave, I have a feeling you will never have the chance to come back again. "
"I know," I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat. "But you came for me, and I want to go back home."
Joe frowned like he didn't believe me, but finally he nodded once, "Home. Alright. Then we'll head back to Brokenclaw as soon as possible."
"Thank you," I whispered, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. Tears of gratitude, but also tears of grief for what I was leaving behind. For what could have been, if things had just been a little different.
If only Richard hadn't been so close-minded. If only Noah hadn't rejected me or kidnapped me. If only Joe hadn't arrived, and I hadn't been given the choice to go back to my old pack.
There were so many factors, so many little things that had made this moment inevitable. Even though my heart was breaking, I knew it was the right thing to do.
I didn't deserve a happy ending. But the baby growing in my womb did. "Thank you, Sage. We'll go tonight, after dark."
"After dark," I agreed. "I'll meet you by the eastern border." "Like hell you will."
If my emotions hadn't been so high, I would have been able to sense Noah before he was able to catch us all off guard. He strode into the room, his face dark with fury, a few of his guards trailing him. I'd known they'd report to Noah, but I had no idea he'd show up so quickly.
Joe was quick to move, stepping between me and Noah, as if to protect me from the furious Alpha.
"Move," Noah said, and the air crackled with power. "Now." Joe didn't budge, "Back off. Sage wants to leave, so that's what's going to happen."
"No, you're not," Noah said, "And fuck you for insinuating I'd hurt my own mate. Now step aside."
Things were already starting to spiral out of control. This was the last thing I wanted to happen. Noah was supposed to be elsewhere, and I was supposed to have a little time. The dominance of the two Alphas in the air was so thick it was almost suffocating.
"Please, Noah," I said, my voice trembling. "Just go."
"You're not leaving," He told me, his voice soft but his eyes still blazing. "Not like this. Not with him."
"You don't get to make that choice," I whispered.
"I can, Sage, and I will if you force my hand." Joe growled, "You can't have her, Silvervine."
"I'm not asking for fucking permission."
"Sage gets to decide," Joe warned, his voice low, "If you try to get in my way, you're going to have a fight on your hands. And remember, even if you manage to beat me—which you won't—there will be three other Alphas on the way to take up the fight."
Noah paused for a millisecond, remembering the quad-alliance, but it didn't deter him. "Let them come, then."
I watched in horror as the Alphas locked eyes, the tension in the room skyrocketing, so intense that my skin rose in goosebumps.
"Stop!" I cried out, "Please stop. We have time to figure this out. To talk."
"There's nothing to talk through, Sage." Noah's voice was cold as he turned back to Joe, "If you're not willing to back down, then we'll fight. The winner keeps her."
Joe's lip curled, "Listen, pup, you have no idea what you're asking."
Noah growled, and the sound was feral. "I'm not fucking around, Joe. She's my mate. You don't get to just waltz in here and demand she come back. She's mine, and she's staying with me."
"You want this to come to blows just to avoid letting her make her own decision?" Joe was at the end of his patience, "Fine. Tell me when and where, and we'll finish this. Once and for all."
Noah looked ready to kill him, and I was afraid he'd attack him right there. The guards around him were all tense, watching their Alpha carefully, but it didn't seem like any of them would stop him if he started swinging.
"Tonight. Dusk. The clearing in the back of here," Noah spat, "We'll settle this there." "Fine. See you at dusk."
"Fine."
The two Alphas stared each other down, and it seemed like neither of them wanted to be the first to look away.
Well, they could figure that out amongst themselves.
I had to get some air, or I was going to pass out on the floor.
I was so overcome that I could barely breathe, my chest ridiculously tight as I shoved through the small crowd and out the front door of the Council house.
Cal was there, his back against the wall and hands shoved in his pockets.. He frowned at me, but didn't say anything, and I didn't want to speak. Instead, I went straight past him and into the woods.
"Sage!"
I could hear Noah calling for me, but I wasn't going to stop.
I broke into a run, and then shifted, tearing through the woods on four legs, the wind whipping through my fur, the forest floor rough on my paws.I was done with Alpha posturing, done with men thinking they were going to tell me my fate as if I wasn't standing right there in front of them, a whole person capable of choosing for myself.
If they wanted to kill each other, fine. But their blood wasn't going to be on my hands.