9
It wasn’t dramatic. He didn’t yank his wrist away. Marcel moved barely half an inch out of Leo’s reach. But his face told a different story..
He went polite. His eyes lost the crinkle around the edges they usually had when he smiled at Leo. His lips flattened.
He looked at Leo the same way he did everyone else.
“Excuse me,“
Marcel said in the tone Leo had been hearing him use on the phone with gossip columnists he didn’t like but couldn’t openly disparage. “I’m on the clock. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
“Marcel—”
The elevator doors closed between them.
Well. Leo exited the elevator on the next floor, staring at his blurred reflection in the brushed steel as the car continued its ascent without him.
He’d been so sure. He’d left Wayne’s suite to find the guy he actually wanted, and the guy he actually wanted looked at him like he was yet another unpleasant task on his never-ending list.
He was angry. Embarrassingly, aggravatingly angry. When did I get this invested?
He climbed the stairs at a punishing pace, dodging around other passengers, and came out on the jogging path on the top deck. He started walking the perimeter because standing still felt impossible.
He’d done half a lap before Daniel found him.
Oh, come on. If he’d been wrong about Marcel, he was likely just as wrong about his family. He should’ve spent the week the way he intended, alone on his balcony, and only put in the requisite appearance at the ceremony.
“Can we talk? Please? Just—a minute.”
Leo turned and looked at his stepbrother. Daniel’s dinner jacket was rumpled, his bowtie hanging undone. He appeared slightly drunk, slightly shy, as though he’d been hoping to run into Leo by accident and didn’t know what to do now that he had.
Leo leaned on the rail. He’d get through this and then confine himself to his suite until four o’clock tomorrow afternoon.
Daniel braced both hands on the rail beside him. He said nothing for a second, gathering his thoughts.
“I invited you because it felt wrong not to. I want you to know that was my first motive.”
“Okay…“
Way to affirm Leo’s worst fears.
“And then I kept thinking—Leo, I really wanted you here. I should have—“
He exhaled. “I should have called you. I should have driven down and dragged you home to us. I should’ve done a lot of things.”
Leo’s throat closed.
“So should I,“
he said. It came out a little lower than he intended.
“You’re my brother.”
Leo looked at the water. He looked at the small distant lights of a container ship on the horizon. He thought about the year they’d lived in the same house and never quite figured out whether they were brothers or strangers. Whether Alan was Leo’s dad or Daniel’s. Leo had been afterthought in so many iterations of his family units that he’d never felt like he belonged in any of them.
He thought about spending the rest of his life talking to his houseplants instead of the people who wanted to love him, and how fucking lonely that sounded.
“I want to be,“
he said quietly. “I want to be your brother.” No more distancing himself with the step designation. No more squandering time until it was too late.
Daniel pulled him into a hug. It was only slightly less awkward than the one they’d exchanged a few days ago. But with both of them making an effort, they’d get there.
Back in his suite, Leo lay flat on his back on top of the covers, fully dressed, and stared at the ceiling. He had too many feelings. Feelings about Daniel. Feelings about Catherine. He had a sudden need to sit with Jackson and ask about his cancer recovery, offer his support, however belated it might be. He had feelings about his dad, who was never going to know about Leo’s regrets or his efforts to finally connect with the woman and children Alan had welcomed into his heart, loved so dearly, and hoped to share with his son.
He had feelings, unwelcome, about Marcel, and they wouldn’t separate cleanly from the rest.
When I reached for him in that hallway, for a split second, I thought I was allowed to.
He slept badly, dreaming about the change in Marcel’s expression in the elevator.
He woke up early, and he woke up decided.