Chapter 4
— Mercedes —
“Fuck, Mercedes. It’s me! Beckett!” came his voice again after my scream died. The honeyed tone I hadn’t heard in so long immediately strummed my heartstrings.
I fought to breathe, let alone find my voice, having to swallow multiple times to work enough moisture into my mouth to speak.
“Beckett?”
A brief pause came. “Yeah, baby. It’s me.”
An unchecked sob bubbled from my throat, and I shook my head. “It can’t be you. You’re in jail.”
“I got released, Merce. I wasn’t going to come back to town but… But fuck, I’ve missed you.” Heartache cracked his voice, adding soul-crushing weight to his words. “Let me in, and I’ll tell you everything.”
My fingers brushed the backdoor lock, hesitant yet willing him to be true. “Do the secret knock,” I demanded.
“What?” he laughed.
“The one we used in high school.”
His amused chuckle had me smiling a little as I dashed my eyes clear of moisture. Beckett knocked a rappity-rap tap tap cadence on the door, then followed it with a low wolf whistle.
“That brings back memories,” I murmured.
He hummed. “Before everything turned shit.”
“Yeah…” My fingers poised on the lock again. “Is it just you out there?”
“Yeah. Who else would there be?”
If only he knew what I’d been through.
With a deep inhale, I disengaged the lock and gripped the doorknob. I flicked the outdoor light on and left the chain on as I cracked open the door, then finally laid eyes on the man that used to be mine.
My heart tripped and stuttered as our eyes met and held.
Beckett’s body visibly sagged, yet he remained rooted to the spot. “Babe…” His voice broke and his lower lip trembled, causing my own tears to threaten and sting the back of my nose again.
“I did nine years without you, and I don’t want to do another day more.”
“You pushed me away,” I cried. “You told me to forget you. You don’t do that to someone you love. I would have waited for you, Beckett. Instead, I tried to move on, but look where that got me: looking over my shoulder, being too scared to leave the house, and living here.”
“What happened to old Ms. Alden?” he asked.
“She died.”
Beckett hummed. “Old people tend to do that.” I didn’t miss his inquisitive glance through the narrow gap. “Are you uhh, alone? Or…”
“Alone,” I muttered.
Much to my surprise, Beckett’s expression filled with remorse. “I’m sorry,” came his whisper. “Can I… can I come in?”
I made the decision within a split second. I shut the door without an explanation, flicked off the chain, then reopened it.
Beckett’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly, and my attention lingered on his neck tattoos I hadn’t seen in over nine years.
“They’ve faded,” I whispered.
“Your hair is longer,” he countered, drawing my gaze back to his.
“You look different.” Him being here still felt like a crazy dream and not reality.
He was different. Older. Rougher. Standoffish when the old Beckett would have tugged me into his arms and kissed my breath away by now. Despite the contrasts, he still possessed the same calming presence he’d had when we were dating.
He lifted his arms at his sides a little. “Look, I know me turning up here was unexpected. And honestly, it wasn’t part of the plan. Fuck, I don’t even have a plan, but I just wanted to see you, even if it’s the last time.”
My heart dropped, and I shook my head as panic filled the fractures in my chest. “Please don’t go!”
The toe of his boot stubbed the decking timber. “I will if you want,” he muttered, looking down.
After pining for him for so long and wishing we didn’t end the way we did, I had to seize the opportunity to heal a part of us that broke in the aftermath of Beckett’s letter.
I widened the door and stepped into the shadows that scared me so much. A shiver raced down my spine, unable to be suppressed as I reached for Beckett’s tattooed fingers.
They immediately tightened around mine, but instead of readily accepting my invitation, Beckett paused.
“Babe, I’m different now. Jail forced me to change in ways I didn’t want to, but I’m not someone you need to be afraid of. Underneath it all, I’m still the same Beck I used to be.”
“I’ve changed too,” I whispered.
With a gentle tug and my entire body vibrating with anticipation, I took the first step toward healing us. “Come inside?”
When he nodded, I silently led an oddly submissive Beckett into the cottage and engaged the lock behind us. He seemed unsure of what to do—nervous even.
“How long have you been in town?” I ventured, thinking back to when I thought I saw him earlier this afternoon on my way to work.
“A couple of days.” He then smirked, sending me back a decade to when we were happy. “It took a little while to track you down, Merce.”
“That’s a long story. Have you moved back for good?”
Heartache passed through the lines on his face. “No. Not for good.” No other explanation or elaboration came.
“Then where…”
He raised his hand and slowly drifted his knuckles over my cheek. “A ranch out in Montana. It’s where I saw out the remaining months of my sentence for good behavior. Brandon, the owner, has since offered me a permanent job out there.”
“Did you accept it?”
My heart dropped, then dropped again when he replied, “Yeah,” with sorrow in his amber eyes. “I can’t come back to Gatlin Falls after what happened, Merce. It doesn’t feel right. I don’t belong here now.”
I nodded and blinked back tears, upset because deep down I knew it was true. “So you’re just back for the night?”
He cupped my cheek in his palm and inched closer. “I’m back for as long as we need, Mercedes.”
My eyes fell closed as I leaned into his warmth.
Within one inhale and the next, I found myself falling into his arms and never wanting to let go. His fingers tangled through my long hair and gripped as he hugged me tight, securing me to his chest in a long, overdue embrace that pulled a shuddering gasp from my throat.
As if spurred by our memories, his mouth sealed over mine and staked his claim. My tongue met his in a hesitant movement as we both carefully explored each other for the first time in over nine years.
A hum left Beckett as he took my face in both his hands and angled my head to the side. My hands traced up and down his torso, mapping the shape I’d missed. He smelled different, but the way he kissed me with hunger and craving had me falling head-over-heels for him again and again with every swipe of his tongue.
Once our kiss eased to an end, Beckett anchored my head against his chest again. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much it hurts.”
I blinked hard to rid the sense of disconnection. Now that he’d returned, there was so much unknown. I didn’t want him to leave me again, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this could be our final goodbye. If it was, I wouldn’t waste a single second.
“Stay the night,” I murmured, squeezing my eyes closed as if it would help shield my heart from getting crushed again.
Fingers rhythmically combed through my long hair before cupping the back of my head. With a gentle implore, Beckett took my face in his hands again and lifted my chin. My eyes opened and met the ones I’d only seen in my dreams since his conviction.
Those amber depths flicked between mine. Back and forth, searching, delving, speaking directly to my lost and beaten-down soul.
“I love you, Mercedes. I thought it would fade with time, but fuck…” A harsh swallow rippled down his throat, then he nodded. “...I’ll stay.”
His mouth claimed mine again in a tender yet commanding kiss that pulled a moan from my chest. Pulling away and scissoring his tattooed fingers with mine again, I led him to the bedroom.
Beckett stood at the foot of the bed, seemingly out of place and unusually awkward. Our eyes snagged and held, never once wavering as I slid into bed.
Gaze still locked with mine, he grabbed the neck of his hoodie and wrenched it over his head, removing his cap and t-shirt with it.
When I sucked in a sharp inhale, he froze. His new appearance rocked me. I’d expected the full head of hair I used to run my fingers through, not the shaved head adorned with new tattoos.
He ran a hand over his head and eyed me from under his brows. “Uh… yeah. It’s easier to keep it shaved…”
“It’s fine,” I mused aloud. “It’s… it makes you look harder.”
Beckett scoffed and popped a smirk. “’Cause I am, Merce.”
My focus dropped to his chest, adorned with more ink, some old and some I hadn’t seen before.
“Turn around,” I whispered. “What else do you have?”
He spread his arms wide and slowly turned. “I’m only turning because I trust you.”
The low comment filled my heart with sadness. “Is it as bad as they say?”
“Is what as bad?” he asked over his shoulder.
“Jail.”
His expression said it all: it was hellish. “It’s a burden I won’t ever share with you, baby. I had it bad some days, but definitely not the worst.”
My heart sank. “I’m so sorry, Beckett.”
He shrugged and turned to face me again. “My actions killed someone, Merce. One could say I deserved it, right?”
“We were young and dumb,” I stated. “No one holds it against you, or any of us for that matter. It was an accident. He shouldn’t have been walking down the middle of the road in the middle of the night.”
Beckett rounded the bed and kicked out of his jeans but didn’t climb in. “I know. But that doesn’t negate the fact that I chose to get behind the wheel while drunk. I could have killed everyone in the car too. You. Scout. Alexis. Jury.”
I flicked back the blankets, silently inviting him between the covers. “Did you keep in contact with anyone aside from Scout?”
Beckett’s sharp gaze connected with mine. “How do you know we kept in contact?”
“He mentioned it at the pub tonight.”
His eyes narrowed. “What else did he say?”
“Just asked if I’d heard from you, which I hadn’t yet.”
“Ah, okay. And I’m sorry for scaring you. I just didn’t want you to hear that I was back in town secondhand. In hindsight, coming at you in the dead of night wasn’t the best idea.”
I snickered and lay down as he slid in beside me. “You literally scared the fuck out of me. Not once, but twice!”
“Sorry, babe. You were crazy jumpy though. And what was up with the cop creepin’ around? You in some kinda trouble?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Always is. Talk to me, Merce.”
We turned on our sides, facing each other, and I smiled as Beckett’s hand touched my cheek.
“I started dating Landon last year. I’ve had issues with him since I dumped him three months ago.”
Beckett’s head left the pillow. “You dated Landon Rathband? Babe, what were you thinking?”
“Don’t judge me,” I snapped. “That was my attempt to move on. What a fucking disaster.”
Beckett resettled and pulled me close. “No judgment, babe. I’m just surprised that’s all. He always seemed a little… unhinged.”
As if wanting to erase Landon from my mind, Beckett pulled me in and anchored me against his body. A deep, satisfied sigh deflated his chest when I kissed it, and my fingers trailed along the side of Beckett’s inked torso.
“Apparently I have a thing for bad boys,” I deadpanned. “Dating Landon started off like dating anyone else, but he soon became controlling and verbally abusive. Despite having good and bad days, his behavior slowly escalated over a year. I left once but stupidly went back when he promised to do better. He hit me soon after that. It was the first and only time, and it was so terrifying that I packed and left in the middle of the night.”
“The fuck!” Beckett roared, sitting up in bed and absolutely seething. His amber eyes burned with hatred I’d never seen before. His body vibrated with a fury so profound that the temperature beneath the blankets shot high.
“He fucking laid his hands on you in anger? I’m gonna fucking kill the bastard. No one breaks what’s mine.”
“I wasn’t yours at the time,” I muttered.
“Doesn’t fucking matter. What’d he do? Split your lip? Bruise your cheek?”
Trepidation-laced tears gathered in my eyes. “Worse. We started arguing over something minor, and he just snapped for no reason when I talked back. He elbowed me in the mouth and busted my teeth.”
Utter devastation echoed through Beckett’s crumbling expression. “Oh, baby.”
Shaking my head, I willed the emotions to settle and confessed: “I lost these two—” I ran a manicured finger along a front tooth and a lateral incisor, “—so I now have to wear a plate with fake teeth. I’ve only just stopped lisping when I talk.”
Beckett unexpectedly hung his head and chuckled.
“It’s not fucking funny!” I snapped.
His eyes met mine from under his brows. “It’s not. But you know what is?”
“What?”
A little smirk formed on his mouth. “We match.” He reached into his mouth and, with a gentle tug, unclipped a denture plate that held three teeth.
My wide, stricken eyes bore into his. “Oh my God! When did that happen?”
“A handful of years ago. Got in a fight, lost some teeth, split my brow pretty bad.” He pointed to the eyebrow that had a healed silver scar above it.
A twinge cut through my chest. “Aww, Beckett. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. Shit happens.”
I coaxed him to lie down again and tucked him close. I needed the connection—it helped with confessing what else had gone down.
“Tonight at the pub, Landon assaulted me again. Stupid move, really, doing it on a night when we were at max capacity. Fields choked him out, then stomped on his fingers. Reed has urged me to press charges in the morning. I will this time.”
Beckett’s fingers flexed on my waist. “You didn’t last time?”
“No. I thought he’d learned his lesson by losing me. He’s been stalking me though, and after him turning up at the LP tonight, Constable Locklear escorted me home to ensure I was safe.”
Beckett hummed. “Yeah, I heard him calling out. No way was I going to show myself. That scream of yours, though, could have woke the dead, Merce.”
“I almost peed!”
He chuckled and ran his fingers through my long hair. “I’m glad it was me lurking in the shadows and not Landon.”
“Same, Beck.”
I snuggled closer and kissed the base of his throat. “You smell different.”
Another sleepy chuckle came. “So do you.”
With his fingers rhythmically combing through my dark locks, I soon grew dozy.
Protected and mercifully able to relax after months of being wound so tight it left me with muscle aches, I let out a bliss-filled sigh.
Beckett’s strokes paused. He swallowed thickly before murmuring, “Come to Montana with me, Merce. Let’s start fresh, just you’n me.”
Despite wanting to leave Gatlin Falls for so long, I was also terrified out of my mind. This place was all I’d ever known but had become less heaven and more hell.
“When do I need to decide?” I whispered, mulling it over in my mind.
Beckett’s lips pressed to my temple. “Whenever you’re ready, baby.”
With that, he climbed from bed and went about turning off the music, then all the lights in the house. Once dark, he returned to bed and engulfed me in a protective embrace.
“You’re safe now,” came his whisper through the darkness.
And you know what? For the first time since escaping Landon, I finally believed I was safe in the shadows.