Chapter 32
Willa
My body slowly collapses into a ball on the floor, watching Carter leave me again.
His blacked out eyes gazed through me. I tried to stop him, knowing where he’ll go to release the tension he’s carrying in his clenched shoulders.
“Willa?” Alex comes down the hall with his sister. “What happened?”
He crouches down next to me, but I wipe my face and brush myself off to stand.
“It’s nothing. I’m ok.” I force myself to smile.
“You’re not ok.” He blocks me from leaving.
“I can do that interview now.” I turn to his sister, Lenny.
“We don’t have to.” Her mouth tilts in understanding.
“Willa,” Alex’s thick brows form a hard line over his eyes, “what did he do?”
“He didn’t do anything,” I shout at them. If I told my friends from the beginning, none of this would’ve happened. “You guys all hate him, but you don’t even know him.” They look at each other, questioning how lost I am, because all they see is the tough guy act he puts on. “It’s all my fault. I was too concerned about what you’d all say if I told you I was in love with him.”
Alex’s face softens as I confess what I should’ve done from the very beginning. I was falling in love with Carter the moment we became friends. That very first time he brought me tacos to cheer me up, and even before then, I was staggering over my feet before they were swept out from under me.
“We were only trying to look out for you.” Alex puts his hand on my shoulder. “Luca’s not here, but you could have come to any one of us.”
I nod, feeling better that I said it aloud, but he’s not the one I should be talking to.
“We can do that interview now.” I turn to Lenny and let her lead me back to the small school studio. Alex is Luca’s friend, and we talk, but we’re not close enough that I can unleash all my problems on him.
Lenny makes the interview quick. I watched her skip over several questions she had written, knowing I’m not in the right headspace to answer too many.
Jocelyn has been avoiding me. She won’t stay in the same room as me long enough to talk. So, when I get home, I sit on my bed and call Luca.
His face lights up the screen with a broad dimpled smile.
“How come you never call me anymore?” he answers, trying to sound annoyed at me.
I’ve been avoiding this conversation for weeks. Ignoring my best friend, to hide the shame I felt for doing something he wouldn’t be happy about.
“I’ve been busy,” I shy from the truth.
“I’m sorry. I can’t make it tomorrow night. I was going to try.” He walks with the phone in his hand and I notice he’s in his new apartment. Kandi had told me all about it. She hates it.
“Luca, I called to tell you something.” I take a deep breath. It’s now or never. “I’ve been dating Carter for a few weeks.”
“I figured,” he says, sounding bored. “Shit, this bread is moldy.”
“How did you figure?” I laugh, thinking he must not have heard me right.
“Carter said something to me at the banquet.” He finally sits down and faces the phone. “I’m going to have to order pizza again. Oh, maybe Thai.”
“Luca focus.” I command through the phone. “What did Carter say to you?”
He groans and rolls his eyes.
“We were heading to the restroom, and he said something about…I don’t know.” He thinks it over. “He said he knows he’s not perfect, but he’d do anything to make you happy. Or something like that.”
“What else did he say?” I ask to keep Luca’s focus on our conversation.
“I don’t know. He asked if I was ok with you guys dating. Or he said he hoped I’d be ok with him asking you out. I don’t remember the exact words.” Luca looks at something else on his phone, smiling at whatever he sees.
“He asked you for permission to date me at the banquet?” I ask the question more to myself, assuming I lost Luca to pictures of food he’s thinking of ordering.
“Sort of,” he sighs and starts paying attention to me again. “It was more of him warning me not to upset you, but then he locked me out of the restroom. I went outside and pissed in the bush.”
“Luca,” I smack my hand on my head.
I’ve known him a long time, but he still surprises me with the shit he does.
“I had to pee, and the other one was too far away.” He tries to defend why pissing in a bush outside a fancy banquet for anyone to see when he’s a professional hockey player is a good idea.
“What’s going on? Why do you look sad?” Luca sets his phone up and folds his thick arms over his chest. “Did he screw it up already?”
“I screwed up.” I let out a groan. “I hurt him. He was all in, and I was too afraid to tell anyone. I’m so scared to jump into anything after Vic.”
I’m holding myself back, afraid to move on.
Luca is quiet while I sniff back my snot and try not to cry again. All I’ve been doing is crying, and it’s not helping.
“Did you tell him that?” Luca asks.
“No,” I sigh. “He won’t talk to me. I’ve tried.”
“Dick,” Luca mutters, but is quick to keep talking before I can defend Carter. “I didn’t kick his ass, because he had some nice things to say about you and I saw how happy you were. He knows what you went through with Vic.”
Carter knows more than anyone, but it doesn’t make what I put him through ok.
“He’s not a dick.”
“No,” Luca nods and chews on his tongue. “It’s a dick move not to talk to you, but maybe he needs time to cool down.”
“Ya think?”
“I know.” He gives me an encouraging smile. “If he’s as crazy about you as Kandace thinks he is, then he won”t be able to stay away for long.”
“Kandi?” I question him.
“She told me all about him hanging out with you guys and watching the games. He has loving googly eyes for you or whatever.” Luca sighs and rolls his eyes. “I didn’t like it, but Kandace said you were happy.”
“Oh.” I smile and think about how Carter always finds me across the ice or comes to me during warmups. And how attentive he always is.
My talk with Luca helps me feel better. It’s only been one day, and Carter has always had a bad temper. I need to give him time, and will keep apologizing until he’s ready. Whenever that will be.
In the meantime, I’m getting this out to everyone that will listen. I’m in love with Carter.
My heart belongs to him, and his will come back to me.
I know he still loves me.
I get to the rink extra early to get my own practice in. Taking laps around the ice to clear my head and wake me up.
Every sound interrupted my sleep. I woke, searching for Carter several times, but he hasn’t so much as texted me back after the million I sent him.
The guys all file in, charging the air with their excitement at being in the championship. I catch each one coming in, hoping it’s Carter.
Lately, he’s been one of the first guys to come out, excited to see me. But one by one they file in and he doesn’t come.
“Where is he?” I ask under my breath while messing around with a puck, getting a feel for a stick in my hands again.
I wait.
And wait.
Someone comes running out of the tunnel leading to the locker room in their gear, and my heart stops. He’s here. Coach told us if Carter doesn’t show today, he doesn’t play after the conversation he had with him. And he made it in the brink of time.
But it’s not him.
As the guy comes into the light and pulls his jersey over his head, Braydon’s face is revealed.
Carter’s little brother comes out on the ice, then steps off again, forgetting his stick. He comes back, shakes his head and leaves to get the glove he dropped on the way in. His usual smug, over confident grin is gone.
Coming to join a few guys, he touches the top of his head, realizing he forgot his helmet.
Something’s wrong.
“Where’s Carter?” I look out at the faces of every guy to make sure I didn’t miss him.
“I guess he didn’t show.” Coach Greardon shakes his head and blows his whistle to round up the defensive players.
I skate over to Coach Renan. Carter wouldn’t have not shown up. I know he wouldn’t.
“Have you heard from Carter?” I skate right in front of him, not caring who hears me.
“No.” He looks out over the guys and curses under his breath.
I look to the hall again, hoping he’s just late, but Braydon catches my eye and quickly looks away, ignoring me to put his helmet on.
“Where is he?” I don’t wait for Coach to skate over to Braydon, he knows something, and won’t make eye contact with me. I know he knows. “Braydon, where is he?”
I grab his arm to keep him from leaving as Coach Renan joins us.
“I don’t know,” he lies.
“Tell me where he is.” I clutch onto his jersey and pull him back. He may be almost a foot taller than me, but I can take him.
“Baby Pierce is in trouble,” the guys closest to us coo, before getting a warning from Coach.
“I tried to stop them.” Braydon ignores them and throws his hands up.
Coach Renan steers us to the bench. “What do you know?”
“It was bad, and they said they had to take him in.” Braydon looks at me, hoping I understand what he can’t say. “He foughtback. They had to arrest him.”
“Arrest who?” Coach Renan questions for more information, but I’m already throwing my skates off and running for the exit.
I haven’t driven since the mountain, but I’m not thinking about that when I run all the way home, hop in my car and drive off to the police station.
I’m thinking about being behind a wheel again. Getting stuck in the snow is far behind me, and my only thought is to save Carter.
Briar Creek only has one station for this quiet small town, and it isn’t far from the school. When I get there, they aren’t very helpful.
“You can’t just come in here and demand to see someone who’s been detained.” The officer behind the desk glares down at me.
“I’m here to get him out.” I slam my hand on the raised desk. Asking nicely was not helping at all.
“You need to bail him out.” The officer laughs. “It’s six thousand dollars to get him out.”
Six thousand dollars? I don’t have that kind of money.
He sees the shock on my face and stops laughing.
“Look,” he leans down to be at eye level, “this isn’t Carter’s first detainment, but the man that bails him out is currently lying in a hospital bed. He screwed up this time, and the six thousand is the least he could get.”
“He doesn’t belong in there.” Whatever happened, it was self-defense. It had to be.
“The bail bondsman opens in an hour. Do you have any collateral?”
“I don’t have anything.” I stare at my phone, trying to think of what I can do. I can’t leave him here.
Scrolling through my phone, I hesitate on Jocelyn’s name. It’s too early for her to be awake. The women’s team has off today, but she’s the only one I can think of that could help. She always knows exactly what to do when we’re in a tough situation. And she has money.
I’ll do anything to help Carter. There’s a great chance she won’t help, but I have to try.
A half hour later, Jocelyn whips through the doors with her long hair thrown up and her makeup smudged on her eyes.
“Why am I here?” She angrily sits down on the hard bench beside me.
“I didn’t know who else to call.” I sniff back my tears. “I know you hate me, but I love him.”
“The same way you loved Vic?” She stops me. “I don’t care about Carter, but you lied to me. You lied, and you’re falling into the same shit you were with Vic.”
“He’s not Vic.”
“Willa, look around. We’re at a police station to bail him out of jail,” she shouts and finally looks at me.
I’ve let her down, but it’s not the same.
“Vic was cheating on me and never respected me. Carter would never do that.”
She stands to leave, but I grab her arm to stop her.
“He trusts my judgment and supports me. He makes me laugh. He’s been more of a friend to me than anyone.” I lean my elbows onto my knees and slump my head into my hands.
He never gave up on me. Not like Jocelyn is now.
Jocelyn was my best hope, and he’s already been locked up for too long, but to my surprise, she sits back down.
“I thought you liked him.” I peek out from my hands to see her reaction.
“I only wanted to sleep with him,” she admits with a shake of her head. “I’m not in love with him.”
“I’m sorry I lied to you,” I sit up to apologize. “I didn’t want you to get upset, and I didn’t know how to tell you.”
I hate how I lied to her.
“I was more upset that it was going to be Vic all over again, and I hate not playing hockey with you. I hate how you’re throwing your life away for these guys.” She waves her arm out at the mess we’re in. “But I haven’t been completely honest either.” She turns toward me and lets out a deep breath. “I’ve been sleeping with Coach Higgins.”
“What?” I shriek, slapping a hand over my mouth when several people look our way.
“Carter saw us in the men’s restroom at the banquet. I thought he was going to tell you. I begged him not to,” she sighs. “I thought he told you, and that’s why you weren’t answering my text when I came home and barged into your room.”
Jocelyn and Coach Higgins? My brain feels like a puck being shot back and forth across the ice with ten people scrambling to get control of it. This is wrong.
“I’ve been standing by, watching you spend more time with him, and then,” her hands spread out as she looks at the empty space in front of us, “you’re in bed with him. We’re supposed to be friends.”
“He’s married,” I say, unable to move past her confession. “And our coach.”
“I’m not the only one.” She picks at a fuzzy on her leggings. “He’s a jerk.” She shakes it off. “And I may have embellished my crush on Carter.” The right side of her mouth ticks up as she nudges me. “I only wanted to sleep with him to get back at Jonah. I figured when he told me he was in love with someone, that it was you. I’m not that dumb.”
It takes me a second to realize she’s calling our coach by his first name.
“I hate that you lied to me, but I’m worried about you falling for…” her eyes bounce around the precinct, “this.”
“Carter isn’t a bad guy, but he”s in a horrible situation.” I watch the officers coming in and out of the small waiting area we’re in. Carter is back there somewhere in a cell, and he’s alone.
“Let’s get him out.” Jocelyn sighs and pulls me up from the bench. “How bad is it?”
“It was a fight with his father,” I give her a piece of the information. “They said it was bad. It’s six thousand to bail him out.”
I may have left off that detail when I called her.
She sucks in a sharp gasp. “Daddy’s not going to like this.”
Her father was a professional hockey player and is an announcer for a national sportscaster. Jocelyn is his little princess. Her mom left them and Jocelyn has had her father’s open wallet at her disposal. She’s responsible, but has never shied away from dropping cash on something.
She pays the bail without batting an eye, and I wait patiently for Carter to be released.
Jocelyn asked if I wanted her to stay, but I could tell she was uncomfortable. Eventually, we’ll be ok, but Jocelyn still has her doubts if I’m going to be ok with Carter.
It’s not like Vic, and this time I know. And Carter needs me.
They bring him out with his hands battered with cuts. His eyes are red, a bright raw red around his dark russet irises. He’s broken and beaten.
His hair is unusually flat and matted to his head, and his shirt is torn at the collar.
The officer rubs his shoulder in a friendly gesture as he brings him out. They all know him. Growing up in this small town, it’s hard not to be known, but they’re treating him with an empathy they haven’t shown me.
“Carter.”
They’re handing over his personal belongings when I call his name. He looks up at my voice, but his eyes are vacant and void of any emotion.
Being pulled to him, I lift onto my toes and wrap my arms around his neck. Squeezing him as tightly as I can to give him life.
It takes a few moments before his arms wrap around me. His body melts into me and shakes from his silent sobs.
I take Carter back to the Hockey House and lead him down to the basement.
Helping him into the shower, he stays under the warm water for a while, washing away any blood and dirt from the night before, but he’s not able to wipe the bruises from his chest and torso. He moves in a daze, and hasn’t said a word since I picked him up.
Once dressed, I help him lie down on his bed and curl up beside him, letting him sleep it off and knowing he’ll talk when he’s ready. With our legs and arms wrapped and tangled amongst each other, he falls asleep within seconds.
It doesn’t take long before feet stomp on the floor above us. Practice is over and the guys are just coming in. A pair of feet make it down the basement steps.
“Shit,” Gentry curses as he gets to the landing. He drops his bag on his bed and sits down, seeing me awake. “Is he ok?”
As much as Carter pushes people away, he still has some friends here.
“He will be.” I hope.
I won’t know anything until he wakes up, but he’ll be ok. I’ll stay here as long as it takes.
“It’s his dad, isn’t it?”
I stare at him, waiting to see how much he knows. Carter wouldn’t have told him everything.
“There was a news report that Mayor Pierce was taken to the hospital, but the police aren’t releasing much information.” He holds his phone up with his eyebrow raised. “I was roommates with him before, and he didn’t hide the bruises as well as he does now.”
Looking at Shawn Gentry, you’d see just a pretty face. A chiseled clean jaw with clear golden eyes and dirty blonde hair. They used to call him Preppy because of the prep school he came from. A high society private school for the rich and famous, but it seems he’s not just the rich kid that squeaked by with his good looks.
He’s proven himself to be a tough player with a speed that hasn’t been matched, and quietly observes the people around him. There wasn’t any surprise or question of why I’m in bed with Carter. His first question was about Carter’s wellbeing.
I nod silently, still afraid to give anything up. I have my guesses of what happened, but I don’t know all the details.
“Do you think he’ll be good to play tonight?” He takes clothes out of his bag, tossing the dirty ones aside and cleaning it out.
“No.” Coach Renan wouldn’t likely let him play for missing practice, but Carter wouldn’t be in the right headspace to be there, anyway.
It’s just a game.
Gentry neatly packs his bag with clean clothes and quietly gets ready. He leaves us, and I check my phone for any news I can piece together of what happened.
All I know is that Mayor Pierce is still alive. They’re being very quiet about it, and there’s no mention of Carter’s arrest yet.
“You need to go to the game.” Carter’s deep voice startles me.
“You’re awake.” I brush his hair back from his eyes and kiss the space between them.
“I’m a light sleeper.” He squeezes me closer. “The team needs you.”
“You need me.” I kiss his cheek, too happy that he’s talking to stop.
“I’ll drag you down. I can’t come back from this.”
“Yes you can.” I hold his face to look at me. “I got you. We’ll get through this.”
“I killed him.” His voice cracks as he blinks his raw, dry eyes.
“He’s not dead.” I rub my thumb along the thick scruff of his scratchy jaw.
“He…” Carter stops. His face distorts as he flips through the events of last night. “He wasn’t moving when Bray called for the ambulance.”
“He’s alive.” I squeeze him tighter and hold his cheek. “What happened, Carter?”
“I overreacted.” His eyes flash to mine.
“He deserved whatever you did to him.”
“No, I overreacted when I yelled at you. I shouldn’t have gotten that upset.” He pulls away with his scratched up fist on his head. “I don’t want to be someone you have to hide away from your friends or family.”
“You’re not.” I sit up on my elbow with my hand on his chest. “You mean everything to me, but I’m scared. I fell more for you than I ever did Vic and that scared me. But I’m more afraid of losing you.”
His hand comes off his forehead to tuck my hair behind my ear. “You’ll never lose me, but you need to get to that game. They’re counting on you. You can’t lose your job for me.”
Carter swings his legs off the bed and searches the floor.
“It’s just a job.” I grab his hand to stay. “Unless you’re going to the game too, I’m not leaving your side.”
His face falls, trying to figure out if he’s ready for that. He isn’t. In the ten minutes we’ve been talking, he’s gone through ten different emotions.
“There will be other games.” I kiss his shoulder and help him back into bed.
“No, I can’t keep letting my team down. I don’t care if Coach benches me, or if I have to sit in the stands.” He shoots up out of bed. “I can’t let them down, and you taught me that. We’re going.”