Chapter 34 #2
My attention whips to him, and I do—I breathe.
Just looking at Oliver makes me settle. It makes me feel safe. And the fact that I don’t have that luxury anymore makes the tears well up in my eyes again.
He takes my hand.
“There are rumors that Luca’s accident wasn’t an accident. That someone put a hit out on him,” Oliver says. “I’ve heard the coroner was paid off to say he was asleep at the wheel, but from what I’ve read, that’s probably not how things went down.”
A chill rips through me.
“The company you were paying off is … they’re legit by a thin definition of the word.
They are not anyone you want to be involved with, and when I realized that’s who you were paying …
” He wipes a tear off my cheek with his thumb.
“I love you. The thought of someone coming after you over a debt that wasn’t yours to begin with. I couldn’t live with myself, Shaye.”
What the hell? Who the hell was Luca dealing with? And possible murder?
I cannot process this. I can’t.
“But why didn’t you tell me?” I ask through my tears. “Why didn’t you …? Why didn’t you say something?”
“It’s not an easy conversation to start, Shaye.”
My mind sorts through all of my memories with Luca and tries to find any tip-off that this was happening.
“I’ve had a lot on my plate. My parents were getting divorced, and now my dad is in rehab …
” He shrugs. “There’s been a lot of shit.
I kept thinking I’d find time to tell you, but they notified you much quicker than I expected.
Probably from the strong language my attorney used when sending the payment. ”
“I’m sorry you had to go through all of this. I really am.”
He brushes a strand of hair out of my face. “I’m sorry that I didn’t meet you sooner so I could have loved you longer. It would’ve saved us both a headache.”
I smile at him. “Thank you for doing this. But I will still pay you back.”
He shakes his head.
“I’m not asking you,” I say.
“I’m not taking your fucking money.”
“Yes, you fucking are.”
He glares at me.
I slip my hand out of his and stand. There has to be a way to make him understand.
Walking to the window, I gaze out at the street.
“I know I told you that we were over, but we aren’t,” he says.
“Not sure I remember agreeing to that.” Even though I want to. “We seem to have a very different view of how things work between us.”
“Is this about the money?”
I turn and look at him. “Yes. Partly. It’s also about all that honesty you talk about. This is quite an omission, and I do believe that, according to you, omissions are lies.”
He looks at the table.
“I didn’t want Marius Blast any more than you wanted to hurt me by getting the information about Luca. We were both doing our best under difficult circumstances, Oliver.”
“I know. You’re right. One hundred percent.”
“And if you want to be with me, I need your trust and honesty as much as you need it from me.”
He stands but doesn’t walk toward me. Instead, he motions toward the bags on the table. “I’m going to listen to everything you ever say. I’m going to fulfill every need, every wish you have. I’m going to stand beside you, next to you, and help you live your best life.”
I still.
“I don’t want to hold things over your head. And the money wasn’t that—it wasn’t me trying to get one over on you. I know that’s what you think.”
“Yes.”
He shakes his head. “It was me trying to help carry a burden for you in a way that I can. Because that’s what people do who love each other.
They step up. I stepped up as an investment in our future.
Together. Where we carry each other’s burdens, do everything together as a team.
Where we have a little girl named Shelby and a cat or a dog or a fucking horse—I don’t care.
As long as that future is with you.” He rushes to me, holding me in his arms. “I love you. I want a partnership with you, not some fucked-up power struggle. I don’t need power or control. I just need you.”
My heart lodges in my throat, making it hard to breathe. My body shakes with an emotion that’s not tears and not fear … but maybe pure happiness.
Hearing him say these things—these beautiful words—soothes something deep in my soul that I didn’t know could be reached.
It’s not that having Oliver needing me or wanting me makes me feel more valuable or worthy of love. Having Oliver fight for me makes me feel valued. Having a future to build with him is the best gift in the world.
And, in a way, I gave that gift to myself.
I didn’t crash when life got hard. I kept going when I didn’t think I could. And I learned to trust someone else when all I know how to do is question someone’s motives.
That’s Oliver’s gift to me.
I bury my face in his chest. He palms the back of my head and holds it to him.
“I love you, Shaye.”
“I love you.”
He kisses the top of my head. “Come home with me. Bring some of your stuff. Bring all of it if you want but let’s do that tomorrow because I need to hold you right now.”
I lean back and look into his eyes. “On one condition.”
“Anything.”
“Okay.” I smile. “You don’t give me any shit about working for Nate—”
“We gotta talk about that.”
“Oh, I know we do.”
He makes a face, and I extract myself from his arms. He sighs.
“I’m not quitting my job until I’m damn good and ready,” I tell him.
“Well, quit there as easily as you quit my company.”
I roll my eyes at him. “I’ll compromise.”
He crosses his arms over his chest.
“Take it or leave it, but this is what I’m offering,” I say.
“Go on.”
I swallow. “I will work for Nate until I pay you back for the—”
“No.”
“Oliver!”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know what I’m more against—you working there or you paying me back.”
I shrug. “Well, I don’t care what you don’t like because I’m doing both.” I grin. “Where’s all that team spirit you were just talking about?”
He’s not entertained. Still, the resoluteness on his face eases, and he sighs.
“This is important to you?” he asks.
“Clearly.”
He pauses. “Then fine. I respect you, and if paying the loan gives you what you need, helps you understand that I never want to control you, okay. I accept that.”
“Oh. Okay.” I didn’t expect that. I grin. “Thank you. That was easier—”
“I’m not done.” He smirks. “I want you to know, however, that when we start a family, I’m going to be completely overprotective. I’ll look after you and—”
I silence him with a kiss.
Just as I don’t want Oliver to change me, I don’t want to change him, either. A part of what I love so much about him is how safe I feel with him. If I argue this point, it would go against one of his best attributes. I have no desire to do that.
I’ll just have to figure out how to pay him back in another way. I have time. Maybe my entire life.
He rests his forehead against mine. It feels like a semitruck has been lifted off my shoulders.
“We might get this right. We might screw up and get it wrong sometimes,” he says. “People are inherently imperfect. I’ve had that reinforced to me this week.”
I run my hands down his tie.
“But I love you, and you love me, and that’s worth fighting for,” he whispers.
“I think so too.”
He grins. “Want to go to my house now?”
“I have one more question,” I say, hiding a smile.
“What’s that, my lady?”
“Do I still have a job? Or do I have to work for Wade?”
Oliver doesn’t answer me. Instead, he sweeps me off my feet and carries me out the door.