Chapter Fourteen
It was dark when Victoria pulled into her driveway. She pulled up close to the house, got out, stood still, and listened to the crickets and frogs for a moment as she took a few breaths. She moved sluggishly through the back door and into her dark, cold kitchen.
“Do you want to tell me where the hell you’ve been?”
Victoria screamed as terror ripped through her. She spun to see the outline of a large man sitting at her kitchen table in the dark. Thankfully, she knew instantly who it was and drew in a calming breath as she reached for the light and turned it on.
“I’ve asked you to stop scaring me.”
His eyes narrowed on her. She knew he could tell she’d been crying.
“I want to know where you’ve been?”
Victoria’s hands curled around the top of the chair opposite him. It was a small table with only four chairs, but putting anything between them helped her peace of mind. “It’s none of your business.”
“How do you figure that?”
She bit her lip to hold back all the accusations she wanted to spew at him. She needed to be calm. She’d driven all afternoon, gaining the strength and resolve she’d need for the conversation she knew she’d eventually have with him.
“Because all we are is fuck buddies, and that ended when I received the letter.”
“Fuck buddies?” he growled.
Victoria shrugged and tried to act nonchalant as she swallowed back the anxiety that rose inside her at the threatening tone of his voice.
“Yeah, you know, two people who get together when the urge hits, have a romp in the sack, and then back to their own separate lives.”
She started to fidget as the silence grew and the tension in the air rose.
“I’m not quite sure where to start,” he said.
A shiver coursed down her spine at the cold, even tone of his voice.
“There’s nowhere to start. For the last time, I’m not selling this ranch, and you are no longer invited to my home. Now you need to go home to your...” She couldn’t bring herself to say “wife.”
****
Cole’s fingers started to drum out an aggressive tempo on top of the table as he held back from blistering her ass for everything she had put him through.
He’d felt a sense of panic when Tammy, his foreman’s wife, gave him the papers and explained what happened.
Then, acute fear when he couldn’t find her, and the fact that she’d left her purse and phone on the office desk made it worse.
Now, a depth of anger he’d never felt before was trying to take his control.
Victoria swallowed when her stress rose as he sat staring at her, not talking. “I’m done with you trying to use my feelings for you against me. Now, please go.”
“That’s it,” he barked. Cole stood and started to stalk her around the table.
Victoria held out an arm and backed away from him.
“Cole, please, I want you gone. I can’t take any more right now.”
He paused at her pain-filled voice. “You wouldn’t be going through any of this if you had just...”
“Sold you the ranch?” she asked sarcastically.
He growled. “Let me finish. If you had just asked me about the fucking papers.”
“What?” she burst out. “What would you have told me that would make sense?”
“How about I didn’t have my lawyer send those?” he growled.
Victoria snorted. “They don’t do shit like that on their own. They have to be told what to do.”
Cole’s teeth snapped together. “I know, goddamn it. That very first day, I called him on my way home and told him to get the papers ready. I never called him back until today to see why the hell he sent them.”
“Why? What did he say?”
“He didn’t. His new secretary did. She did it to several people. She’d found the file of to-dos the old secretary left and thought she’d take the initiative to take care of them. He scrambled all day to fix the commotion she caused.”
Victoria had stopped when he had but then began moving away from him when he started coming toward her again. “Oh...”
“Is that all you can say?” he snarled and narrowed his eyes.
“Would you stop following me?” she demanded.
“No,” he barked.
Victoria stomped her foot. “You can’t stay. I’m tired and want to go to bed.”
“That’s fine by me. Let’s go to bed.”
“No, you’re not staying tonight. I’m not up to taking care of your urges.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“All we are is fuck bud...”
“Don’t you dare say that shit again,” he warned.
She tilted her head to the side. “Why? That’s what we are, isn’t it?”
“One, I don’t like those words coming out of your mouth, and two, it’s not true.”
She studied his tight, determined expression. “First, I can say whatever the fuck I want, and secondly, how can you call us anything else?”
“Woman, you are so close to going over my knees.”
“No,” she said simply, copying his form of communication. “If you can say no, so can I.”
Victoria swallowed when a menacing smile crept across his face.
“Where were you? You never answered me.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but driving around.”
“You’ve been driving around this whole time?”
“Yes, I was upset and needed to clear my head.” She was starting to get dizzy as they moved around the table. “None of this matters right now, so I want you to leave.”
“Not happening until we get this straightened out.”
“Cole, go home to your family. It makes me sick that you and I were having sex while they waited for you at home. What the hell did you tell her when you spent the night here?”
Cole looked confused for an instant, and then searing anger replaced it.
“Do you think so little of me that you’d think I’d cheat on my woman?”
Victoria almost stumbled when she caught the hurt he tried to hide with angry words.
“I ... I...”
“That was my foreman’s wife, Tammy. She takes care of the house for me.”
“Your foreman’s wife?” she asked in disbelief, and then a veil of shame descended over her.
“Yes,” he burst out.
“I’m sorry.”
Cole stared at her. “So now you have an explanation for the letter and the woman at my house. What else do I have to correct you about?”
Victoria shook her head. “Nothing. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to go to ... sleep.”
He scowled. “What’s this shit about fuck buddies? Where did you get the idea our relationship is like that?”
Victoria snorted. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Hell, no, I’m not.”
“Because that’s all we do, Cole. You come over after you’re done on your ranch, and we have sex. Sometimes you don’t even spend the night.”
Cole stopped as the realization hit. They hadn’t gone anywhere. All day, every day, his only thought was to get her naked and inside of her as quickly as possible. That was the only time he felt content and happy.
“Hell, baby. I never thought ... I’m sorry...”
“It’s not a big deal, but I realized I can’t keep being used. I want to have a family someday, and we both know this,”—she waved her hand in the air—“whatever it is between us, probably isn’t going anywhere.”
“Why the fuck would you say that?”
“Because,” she yelled, “we’ve been having sex for about five months, and that’s the farthest it has gone.”
“I care about you...”
Victoria nodded her head. “I believe you do in your own way, but it’s not what I think I deserve.”
Cole studied her for a moment. “What if I told you I loved you?”
Victoria snorted and held back the tears that stung her eyes as she pretended to find that funny.
“We both know you don’t, and I’m unfortunately under the impression you never will.”
“That’s not true. There is no other woman in my life.”
“Well, of course, there’s not. You have a ... buddy. You don’t need to go looking.”
Cole sat down in the chair he vacated several minutes before to stalk her. He stayed silent as he tried to come up with the words he needed. He felt her slipping away, and he was terrified he wouldn’t be able to fix this.
“Could you come and sit with me for a minute, baby?”
“I don’t know what else needs to be said.”
“Please,” he said quietly.
Victoria hated to see the bleak emotions that swirled in the depths of his eyes. She sat down across from him and silently waited.
“I fucked up. I know that now. I should have been telling you how I feel and talking about the future I see with you. Frankly, all I can think about is you. Day and night. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you I loved you, so I won’t right now, but you can’t deny I have strong feelings for you.”
Victoria shrugged. “I know you care about me. I just don’t think it’s at the level of emotions I feel for you.”
He reached across the table, laid his hand down palm up, and waited. He breathed a sigh of relief when she tentatively put her hand in his.
“I’m thrilled to hear that. You haven’t said anything to me about how you felt.”
“Sex is different for most women than it is for men. I couldn’t be with you if I didn’t feel strongly.”
“Would you at least believe I have deep feelings for you?”
Victoria nodded.
“Good.” Tension filled and tightened his stomach. “Now here’s a hard one. Would you really throw away what we have because of two misunderstandings I’ve already explained?”
Victoria stared at him as his words swirled around her head. The questions were, what did they have? Was it enough to continue?
She looked down at their hands. His large, dark, rough one against her small, pale, soft one. It always made her feel safe to be with him, and she knew she slept better with him there. She really thought about what he said.
What he said was true. It didn’t explain the lack of dates or why he never invited her to his home, but that could change in time.
She found love once in her life, and it was with Cole.
Did she really want to give him up? They could work on the rest of it, but at that moment, she didn’t have a great excuse to break it off other than her fear.
Her emotions had grown so much and continued to deepen.
If it didn’t work out in the long run, it would tear her apart, but she’d survive.
She was strong enough to take the chance.
She looked up to find his gaze zeroed in on her.
“No, I wouldn’t want to throw us away.”
Cole released the breath that had stalled in his lungs as he waited for her to decide. He stood, pulled her to stand, and then maneuvered her around the table and onto his lap, where he silently held her tightly against his chest. “Come here, baby. Let me hold you.”
Several quiet moments passed.
“Have you eaten?”
Victoria shook her head against his chest. “No, but I’m not hungry.”
“How about we make a few sandwiches? I haven’t eaten, and I’m starved.”
Victoria moved to stand, but he pulled her down, tilted her head back, and took her mouth. Several moments passed when the only sounds were their moans, the fridge, and a few steers out in the pasture.
Cole released her mouth and lifted his head. “We need to stop, baby. I want you to eat something.” She couldn’t afford to lose any more weight
She nodded. “You’re right.”