CHAPTER NINETEEN #2
“Only to those who don’t understand me,” she returned.
Ethenn tipped his head in an acquiescent motion. “I suppose you’re right. I don’t understand you.”
Her smile didn’t falter, but something in her eyes flashed darkly. “You haven’t taken the opportunity to know me in such a manner,” she said.
Knowing that she was right, he averted his gaze.
The rest of the troop had moved on from their dance, enjoying Vayden and Isla’s singing while they relaxed around the campfire.
Deckard and Evylin swayed slowly, enjoying the ballad in each other’s arms. Thom, Rafferty, Auden, and Brea played a game of Crooks and Crowns.
Feeling somewhat comfortable given their distractions, Ethenn turned back to Ilain. “I haven’t,” he admitted quietly. “But it isn’t because I don’t want to.”
Ilain’s jade green eyes drifted over his face. “Then why haven’t you?”
“Because I’ve been afraid to,” he said without guile.
Her lips parted slightly, but he continued before she could interrupt. “You’re impossible, Ilain,” he said. “You’re a stunning, clever, all-powerful Mage. The moment I saw you, I knew I could never have you. So I didn’t bother trying to get to know you because why torture myself?”
She stared at him with something like awe, which didn’t make much sense to him. He’d already told her that he loved her. She’d married him. Why should this truth surprise her?
“I didn’t want to understand you,” he said. “But I fell in love with you anyway.”
Ilain sucked in her bottom lip and let out a small hum of thought.
Unsure what that meant, Ethenn raised his brow. “Hm?” he repeated.
Blinking as though drawing herself out of a stupor, Ilain blew out a scoff. He didn’t know if it was in derision of him or herself. “Well,” she said, tone falsely lighthearted. “It seems you ought to come to understand me, then.”
“Probably,” he agreed.
“And I should come to understand you.”
Ethenn hesitated, then reluctantly said, “Yes.”
“Which,” she continued, unaware of his reservations, “leads me to think we should spend more time together.”
“We spend every day together, Ilain.”
“I mean, just the two of us.”
“Privately?”
She nodded.
He drew his brows together, doubtful of the idea. “We don’t exactly have the luxury of privacy.”
Brea accused Rafferty of cheating just then, as though to prove his point.
“No?” Ilain asked slyly. She drew their dance to a halt, then looked over her shoulder at Vayden. He met her gaze and gave her a knowing nod.
While Vayden kept singing, Ilain adjusted her hold on Ethenn’s hand and pulled him into the forest to their left. Though Ethenn was sure someone would see and stop them, no one did.
Under the heavy cover of trees, the world was a thick shadow.
Carefully, they moved through the roots and underbrush.
The chirrup of crickets filled the cool air.
And though the foliage was still foreign to him, Ethenn could almost imagine he was back home in Estshire, stalking his prey through the forest with his father at his side.
“This will do,” Ilain said when they came upon a willow tree by a creek that wound through the hillside from a mountain river somewhere ahead. She pulled him under the drooping branches. The world was even darker beneath the leaves. He could barely see her as she sat at the base of the trunk.
But then a small orb of flickering ruby and golden light floated before her.
It played off her pale skin, revealing her bright smile.
Now that they were traveling again, she wore a simple, dark brown dress.
Its large skirt billowed around her, making her appear like a flower that had bloomed from the tree itself.
Ethenn sat across from her, drawing his knees up. Being here with her felt like he was in a dream. The orb floating above their heads almost made him worry that it was one.
“Now,” Ilain said, placing her hands in her lap, “tell me about yourself.”
Ethenn raised his brow. “This was supposed to be about me understanding you.”
“And about me understanding you,” she reminded him. “Besides, I know far less about you than you know about me.”
Though he didn’t doubt the truth of that, Ethenn wasn’t ready to be open with her. “A question for a question, then,” he suggested.
Her smile grew. “Very well,” she said, playing with a pleat on her skirt. “Shall I go first?”
He gave a nod, preparing himself to lie.
“When did you first realize that you loved me?” she asked.
Ethenn let out a relieved huff. That he could answer. “Well, I always liked you,” he said. “But I didn’t realize quite how much until you told me in the Wind Keep that if I fell one more time, you’d let me go.”
Her face scrunched in disbelief. “That convinced you that you love me?”
“When I thought about you letting me go,” he shrugged, “I didn’t fear dying. I feared being apart from you.”
Ilain let out a strange humming sound but didn’t speak.
“My turn,” Ethenn said, distracting them from what might otherwise have been an awkward moment. “Why do you let people think you’re vapid and brash?”
She didn’t even hesitate. “Because it makes them underestimate me. And it keeps them at a distance.”
Ethenn raised his brow, understanding but surprised that she felt the need to distance herself from people too.
She smirked at him, taking her turn at a question. “What made you decide I’m not vapid and brash?”
“You’re smart,” he said. “But not just normally smart. You’re cunning and manipulative. I saw that from the moment we met—the way you played King Ephren, Thom, all of us. You’re far too clever to be so ridiculous.”
Now, it was her turn to look surprised. “You’ve always been more attentive than others,” she mused.
“I’m a hunter,” he replied. “It’s our job to be keen-sighted.”
Ethenn rested his arms on top of his knees, leaning forward. “How many men have you turned down in your lifetime?”
A wan smile crossed her face. “Not as many as you’d think, perhaps,” she said self-mockingly. “Three? Maybe four.”
“All Warriors?”
“No.” She angled forward, a sly glint in her eyes. “Now, you asked a question out of turn, so I get two. Why didn’t you want to be a Warrior at first?”
Ethenn averted his gaze, staring at the tall grass around him. This was the first question where he had to lie, even if only by omission. Once he’d decided on the selective truth, he met her gaze again. “Because it’s not the life I imagined for myself.”
“Be more specific.”
“You weren’t specific when I asked why you put on a facade or if all the men who’ve propositioned you were Warriors.”
She gave him a perturbed look but conceded. “All right, then here’s my second question: You told me you have an uncle, but do you have any other family?”
Ethenn stretched his back, shifting on the ground. “No,” he lied.
Ilain’s gaze narrowed. “You’re an orphan?”
“It’s my turn to ask a question,” he countered. He watched her closely as he asked, “Do you really want to rule Allund, or is it just what’s expected of you?”
Her expression remained unaffected. “I won’t rule Allund,” she said matter-of-factly. “I, along with my husband—that’s you, by the way—will govern Doorstunds Reach, which is only a small portion of Allund. And yes, it’s what I want even as it’s what is expected of me.”
Ethenn gave an understanding nod, accepting her answer.
Ilain’s head tipped to the side, a cunning glint in her gaze. “How did you really get those burns on your arms?” she asked.
The urge to rub the scars tingled in his fingers, but he managed to quell it. “I told you. I got them working in my uncle’s smithy.”
“Tell me the truth.”
“I am,” he said, and he was, though it wasn’t the whole truth.
“I can tell when you’re lying,” she said.
He forced himself to hold her gaze. “Can you?”
She smirked and reached forward to brush the hair off his forehead.
Her touch sent a wash of cold magic across his scalp.
“You maintain eye contact when you lie,” she said.
“As though you’re trying to prove your innocence.
But the thing is, I can see it in the hardness of your gaze, Ethenn.
You shut off when you lie. Like a doused flame, all emotion fades from your eyes. ”
Wary of her insight, Ethenn refused to look away. “Only cowards shrink in the face of adversity.”
Ilain tipped her brow up, hands back in her lap. “You lied for the last three answers you gave me. Why?”