CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR #2
Thom eyed her dubiously. “You dreamed of a man twenty years your junior who’s kissed dozens of other women but won’t kiss you?”
Ilain glared at him.
“You’re not helping,” Evylin said.
“No,” Thom agreed, grinning. “But I am having fun.”
“This is pointless,” Ilain grumbled. “If you’re not going to help, then I’ll just deal with it myself.”
“Good,” he said. “Yes, deal with it yourself. I’m certainly not interested in helping you boff the boy.”
“Pardon me,” Ilain glowered at him, “but I do believe I remember you saying that you’d fix that rather egregious mistake you made when you falsely told the man I love I wanted nothing to do with him.”
Thom flinched. “The man you love?”
Ilain blanched and averted her gaze. “Yes,” she whispered awkwardly. “I think so.”
Growing more uncomfortable with the conversation by the second, Thom snarled. “Fine. I’ll talk with him.”
“You will?”
Thom shrugged. “I screwed up. It’s my job to fix it.”
“And just how do you intend to fix it?” Evylin asked suspiciously.
“I’ll tell him that when a woman offers you her knickers, you take your shot.”
She rolled her eyes, and Ilain huffed.
“I’m joking,” Thom assured them. “I’ll approach him as a friend, ask how married life is going, and subtly suggest he take his wife up on her offers of intimacy. Satisfied?”
Though Ilain seemed to be appeased, Evylin shook her head. “Ethenn won’t respond to that,” she warned.
“How do you know?” Thom asked.
“Because I understand Ethenn, believe it or not.” She tipped her chin toward the others, who were several hundred feet ahead now that they’d unconsciously slowed their pace for their private conversation.
“I guarantee you the reason he hasn’t made a move is because he isn’t ready to.
He isn’t the trusting sort. And he doesn’t know of Ilain’s feelings for him. ”
“Yes, he does,” Ilain objected.
“He does?”
Ilain nodded vehemently. “I just told him the other night: I chose him because of my feelings for him.”
Evylin eyed her. “Is there a chance he didn’t believe you because of Thom’s prior idiocy?”
“Thanks for that,” Thom muttered, though it was a fair question.
Ilain considered, then sighed. “Yes, there’s a great chance. He doesn’t seem to believe anything I tell him.”
“You are a notable liar,” Thom offered.
“But I’ve been nothing but honest with him,” Ilain countered, then picked at her skirt. “After the whole flirting-with-you fiasco.”
Thom couldn’t help smiling at her predicament. “That was your choice. You could have been honest with him from the start.”
“That’s very helpful,” Ilain mocked.
He held her glare. “Do you want me to talk to him or not?”
“I don’t advise it,” Evylin remarked in a singsong tone.
Ilain stared between them, lips pressed together. At last, she heaved another sigh. “Yes, fine. Please subtly see if you can nudge him in the right direction. I’m not asking for anything so monumental as intercourse, but at least a kiss would be nice.”
With a nod, Thom guided his horse forward. “I’ll see what I can do.”
And with that, he left the women behind. Cantering up the road, he caught the others shortly, finding Ethenn in the middle of the group talking with Brea. She was telling him something about her time in Schon but paused when Thom arrived.
“Pleasure to see you this morning, mi’caro,” she teased.
Thom dipped his chin in a dramatic bow. “The pleasure is all mine, Lieutenant.” He scanned her casually, noting that she’d twisted back her braided black hair along the sides. “You look particularly lovely. Add some myrtle blossoms to those twists, and you’d look like a veritable Ephrian dryad.”
Her brow furrowed. “What is this ‘dryad’?”
“They’re woodland spirits,” he explained. “Supposedly friends with The Living Land.”
“And they wear flowers in their hair?”
“They’re made of flowers, I believe.”
“Ah. I look like a flower to you?”
Thom winked. “You look like a whole field of flowers, ma’am.”
“This is awkward,” Ethenn said flatly.
Remembering his reason for being there, Thom cleared his throat and forced himself to ignore Brea’s playfully challenging stare. He turned to Ethenn. “Could I talk with you?”
Glancing between the Warrior and Thom, Ethenn shrugged. “Sure.”
Guiding their horses away from the others, Thom and Ethenn dropped back on the road until even Evylin and Ilain passed them. Evylin eyed him dubiously while Ilain kept her gaze on the road ahead, pointedly ignoring the two men.
Thom shook his head at her obvious behavior.
“What did you need?” Ethenn asked once they were safely out of earshot.
“Oh, it isn’t me who needs something,” Thom replied.
Ethenn’s expression pinched in confusion.
Thom grinned pleasantly. “Tonight, when we arrive at whatever inn we find along the road, go into your room, lock the door, and shag your wife.”
“What?”
“You heard me.” Turning his head, Thom held the Warrior’s gaze unflinchingly.
“You’re married now, Ethenn. Or betrothed or whatever it’s called.
For all intents and purposes, you two have pledged your lives to each other, and the fact is, your wife thinks you don’t love her because you won’t bloody touch her.
So get over whatever hang-ups you have and shag her.
You’ll both be happier for it, I promise. ”
Ethenn stared at him for several seconds, shoulders tense, back rigid, and eyes narrowed. Then he scoffed. “She put you up to this?” he asked.
Thom raised his brow. “Tells you something, doesn’t it?”
Ethenn shifted awkwardly in his saddle. “Great. Consider your task fulfilled. I understand her request.”
“And are you going to do it?”
The young man shot him a furious glare, a blush creeping up from his collar. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no, I’m not,” he said sharply.
“Why not?” Thom demanded in disbelief. “Come on, Corporal. You’ve got a bloody fine wife who wants you. Why hold out on her?”
Ethenn turned away in silence.
Thom shook his head. “Why am I constantly surrounded by idiots who don’t know when to boff their spouses,” he muttered to himself.
Turning in his seat, he pressed a hand to his chest. “My whole life, I’d have killed for a woman who wanted me the way Ilain wants you. And yet, you don’t appreciate it.”
“Maybe I’m not a masochist like you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Thom glared at him incredulously. “She wants you. What’s so painful about that?”
Ethenn didn’t respond.
Thom sighed in vexation. Here he was, trying to be helpful and make his friend happier, and somehow, he was failing again. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Why is this so bloody hard?
“Look, Ethenn,” he said, attempting to be long-suffering. “I’m not sure why you aren’t ready for that sort of relationship with Ilain, but . . . I guess I understand.”
A contemptuous scoff slipped out of Ethenn.
“Okay, fine. I couldn’t understand,” Thom admitted. “Not really. But the point I’m trying to make is simply: You love her, right? If that’s true, then shouldn’t you make her feel loved? Even if that’s just by holding her hand or bringing her gifts or—or—”
“By telling her she looks like a dryad?” Ethenn mocked.
Thom grimaced dramatically. “No, that’s far too corny. She’ll never believe you.”
Ethenn laughed quietly. “You like her, don’t you?”
“Ilain?”
“Brea.”
Thom shrugged. “She’s fun. But she’s far too magical for my tastes.” He tossed Ethenn a lazy grin. “I prefer a woman who doesn’t make me feel quite so inferior.”
“You’re trying too hard.”
Feeling caught, Thom adjusted in the saddle. He was trying hard, trying to be a better man, a better friend, and a better soldier. And he felt like he was failing at every turn.
With a sigh, Thom held Ethenn’s stare. “Just give it some thought, all right? Ilain wouldn’t ask for help if she weren’t desperately lost.”
Ethenn’s jaw clenched, and his eyes fell to the road. “I can’t be what she wants me to be,” he said quietly.
“Are you sure you know what that is?” Thom asked.
He let out a thin huff. “Maybe not.”
“Well,” Thom began cautiously, “perhaps you should start by kissing her. She seems to want that.”
Ethenn tipped his head back, glaring up at the sky as he sucked in a long breath. His face was growing so red that he looked as though he was about to burst. “Could you not give me advice anymore?”
Thom smiled ruefully. “Just one last thing,” he said, then lifted his brow. “Do you really not know how to cuddle?”
“This conversation is over,” the young man replied tersely.
“All right.” Thom lifted his hands in surrender. “Just—if you need any pointers—”
“Shove your pointers.”
“I’d rather not.”
After several seconds of tense silence, Ethenn sighed. “I appreciate your attempt to help,” he said, each word pronounced in an achingly flat tone as though he were forcing them out.
Thom failed to hold in his laughter. “Maybe next time I’ll actually be successful.”
Ethenn sent him a coldly amused look. “There’s not going to be a next time. At least, not with this subject.”
“Because you’re going to take care of the issue tonight?” Thom asked suggestively.
“Because if Ilain comes to you again, you’re going to tell her to talk to me herself.”
“Right.” Thom smirked. “And you’re gonna take care of it tonight.”
A faint grin tugged at Ethenn’s lips, and he nudged his horse forward. “Right.”