Chapter 7
Audrey
“I win!” I cheered as I collected the last black piece of my father’s checkers team.
“Third time in a row,” he mused. “Either I’m getting old or you’re cheating.”
“Or I just had a really good teacher.”
The compliment made the weak smile on his face a little stronger.
We were sitting in the Chemotherapy room of our local general hospital. Dad sat in one of the large, cushioned recliner chairs with an IV in his arm and a blanket thrown over his legs. I was perched in a chair beside him. A small table with the checkerboard and snacks stood between us.
“Do you want to play again?” I asked. “Or do you want to take a nap?”
“Again,” he insisted. “I’ll rest when we get home.”
Nodding, I grabbed all the chips from either end of the board and began resetting the game.
As I did so, one of the nurses shuffled over to check on the bag of liquid medicine hanging near my dad’s bed. While playing our game, I hadn’t noticed it was now empty.
“Looks like you’re all done, Mr. Davis,” the nurse told him as she took the bag off the hook.
She gently peeled the tape holding the needle down in his arm and carefully pulled it out of his vein.
A beige bandage replaced the spot on his arm, barely covering the other small bruises lingering there. “We’ll see you next time.”
We thanked the nurse before heading down to the reception desk to check out.
On the ride home, Dad was awfully quiet.
Sneaking glances at him from the driver’s side, I noticed his head leaned back against the headrest and his eyes staring thoughtfully out the window.
The sunshine beamed through the glass, illuminating the light he refused to let die in his eyes.
The rich brown color of his skin may be growing pale and his burly frame may be shrinking, but his smile never faded.
I’d never forget the one he gave me the first time I met him and Papa. Wide and welcoming and warm. Seeing it mixed with the bright colors of Papa’s outfit and air of confidence slowed the racking in my chest.
After a few not-so-great placements, I’d learned how to read fosters on the first meeting. Anticipate what my stay with them would be like.
Unlike others, no chill ran down my spine. No clenching in my stomach. No uncertainty of their intentions for taking me in.
Looking at them, huddled close and arms outstretched to bring me into their embrace, I felt the tiniest sliver of hope. I thought maybe my prayers had finally been answered. I’d finally found a safe place to call home.
After all the good karma Dad and Papa put out into the world, into me, is this how they’re thanked? By giving dad with an illness he may not be able to beat and Papa the anxiety and fear of losing his partner? I always knew this world wasn’t right, but I didn’t realize it was that fucked up.
“Oh shit,” I heard Dad murmur as we rolled down the block towards our house.
“What?” I asked, shooting him a glance. I couldn’t follow his gaze just yet. I still needed to park the car.
Dad was too busy staring out the window to respond. The moment I put the car in park, he opened the door and climbed out. “Damn, Tatianna,” he yelled. “I thought you got back with your ex for a second!”
Our neighbor’s laugh wafted through the air. “Hell would freeze over before I’d even think about entertaining that man,” she teased.
I scrambled out of the car to rush after my father. Sometimes when he felt good, he started over-exerting himself. I didn’t want him doing too much - especially not right after treatment.
Hurrying to his side, I noticed his long strides were taking us across the small yard towards our neighbor’s front porch.
I followed his smile to their porch where our neighbor, Tatianna, was perched next to the clone of her husband.
If it weren’t for his hoodie and Nike’s, Mr. Rafael may as well have been sitting there himself.
Sounds horrible, but I’d prefer that over meeting the gaze of the boy - man - who hasn’t left me alone since the moment we reunited.
He rose from his seat and welcomed Dad’s outstretched hand. “Hey, Benny,” he said as they used their free arms to hug each other.
“How are you doing?” Dad asked, patting his back. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“I’ve been busy,” he said. His eyes drifted to me. “Hey, Audrey.”
“Hi,” I replied politely. I didn’t want to be rude in front of our parents.
Tatianna glanced between us, a smirk forming on her lips. “You know, I was just wondering what possessed Max to make a visit out of the blue. I should’ve known.”
“I’m surprised he didn’t pop up sooner,” Dad commented.
Max chuckled, unable to combat their jokes. His eyes were fixed on me, examining me as if I were a portrait in a museum.
Rolling my eyes, I started tugging on my dad’s arm. “Come on,” I told him. “You should lay down.”
“Oh, was today one of your…” Tatianna’s smile fell as she trailed off.
“Yeah,” Dad said. “But I feel alright. I was actually thinking about frying some fish for dinner. The two of you feel like coming over?”
“Dad, you are not cooking,” I hissed. “You need to rest.”
“I can help him around the kitchen,” Tatianna offered. “Take some of the load off.”
“That’d be great.” Dad waved his hand. “Come on over.”
I refrained from gritting my teeth as we all started heading back across the front yard and into our house.
Dad and Tatianna hurried into the kitchen, chatting quietly about the recipes they were going to try. To avoid being alone with Max, I stuck close behind them.
I hovered a few feet away from the doorway, keeping a close eye on my father as he flit around the kitchen. He hadn’t drank anything since before we left the hospital nor has he really eaten anything today. He really didn’t need to be shuffling around so much.
Tatianna glanced at the worried frown on my lips. As if she’d read my mind, she set down the handful of seasonings she was holding and made a beeline for the refrigerator. Pulling out a water bottle, she said, “Benny, drink some of this before we get started.”
Benny opened his mouth to protest, but Tatianna shot him her signature look - the one that told even the tallest of giants not to fuck with her.
With Tatianna’s petite frame and warm voice, it was easy to forget she was married to one of the most dangerous men in the crime world.
She never hesitated to remind us. Tatianna could go from sweet and dainty to furious and violent with a snap of her fingers.
And all of us knew better than to summon the other side of her.
Nodding, he grabbed the bottle out of her hands and took a long sip.
Tatianna’s gaze locked with mine again, and I thanked her with a smile.
She returned to her task of shifting through the contents of the cabinet. “Oh, no,” she murmured after a few moments. “I think you’re out of flour.”
“Really?” Benny asked. He walked over to peek over her head. “Damn, I thought we had some.”
“That’s alright.” She turned to me. “Audrey, can you and Max run to the store to pick up some?”
I had half a mind to question why I had to go with him, but the sharp arch of her brow told me not to.
Sighing, I turned on my heel and headed into the living room.
Max was on the couch with his back against the cushions, legs spread in front of him and remote in his hands. He was flicking through the channel guide, searching for a show to hold his attention.
“Don’t get comfortable,” I told him. “We’re going to the store.”
His lips tugged into a small smile as he pulled himself off the couch. He followed close behind me as I led him out the door. “Are we walking or driving?” He asked.
“Walking,” I replied as I glanced up at the sky. The sun was starting to fall, casting an orange glow above us, but enough light illuminated the road ahead of us. Besides, I’d been sitting most of the day. I needed to stretch my muscles before they got stiff.
We walked in a strange silence as we headed up the street. It’s been a while since we’ve came this way together. Once upon a time, we ran up this sidewalk all the time. To catch the ice cream truck. To go to the park at the end of the block. To meet up with Jordan who lived around the corner.
I couldn’t help but stare at the empty, barren playground as we passed.
Time had worn the bright, fresh paint away and replaced it with rust. Some of the monkey bars were broken and the tunnel connecting the separate sections of the jungle gym had a hole in it.
I wondered if any kids had given it some love before it died.
I didn’t like the idea that we were the last ones to enjoy it.
Looking past the park, I could see Jordan’s old house.
His mom’s silver minivan we used to pile in was in the driveway, and wind chimes hung around the small porch.
Frozen in time, it painted the perfect picture of when we were young.
Looking at it, I could almost hear our laughter blowing in the breeze.
“Is Benny okay?” Max asked, ripping me out of memory lane and dropping me back into the present.
I’d hoped he didn’t catch the exchange of glances on the porch when Tatianna vaguely brought up his treatment session today. I thought with their teasing about our reunion, he’d overlooked it. Clearly, I was wrong.
I opened my mouth to lie. To tell him Dad was fine. But, I didn’t have the energy to beat around the truth. I’d have to suck it up and endure the pain of saying the hard part aloud. “No,” I murmured. “He’s sick. Pancreatic cancer.”
Max’s brows creased together in confusion. “What? But, Benny’s one of the healthiest people I know. He doesn’t smoke, barely drinks, and he eats right.”
“That’s what I said too. Papa said Dad was having stomach problems for a while. At first, the doctors couldn’t figure out where the pain was coming from. Cancer wasn’t their first assumption because of how well he took care of himself. But, after some tests, they found it.”
“How bad is it?”