Chapter 4 #2
The dining room filled with volunteers preparing dinner for nearly sixty people before sunset.
Laundry carts rolled steadily between the bedrooms. Counselors moved from office to office while children raced through the backyard under Daisy's watchful eye, their laughter drifting through every open window like music the old farmhouse had been waiting years to hear.
I carried a basket of freshly folded blankets toward the children's wing when the front door burst open.
"Daddy!"
Charlie's voice echoed through the house before I ever saw her.
Several residents laughed automatically.
Apparently everyone had learned that whenever Charlie arrived, she announced herself to the entire building.
Remedy stepped through the doorway a moment later with one hand still wrapped around hers while the other carried her tiny backpack.
His leather cut rested over one shoulder, and although exhaustion still lingered around his eyes, there was something softer about him than there had been that morning.
He looked...
Lighter.
Charlie's curls bounced as she hurried toward me with complete confidence.
"Sunshine!"
Before I had time to kneel, she launched herself into my arms.
The impact nearly knocked me backward.
I laughed as I caught her.
"Well, hello to you too."
She wrapped both arms around my neck.
"I missed you."
The simple declaration warmed something deep inside me.
"I missed you too."
She pulled back just enough to study my face.
"I colored today."
"Did you?"
"Mhm."
"I made Mr. Pickles a motorcycle."
I smiled.
"I bet he loved it."
"He said it needed flames."
Remedy stopped beside us, shaking his head with quiet amusement.
"I have no idea where she gets these ideas."
Charlie gasped dramatically.
"From Uncle Mace."
"Ah."
I nodded thoughtfully.
"That explains everything."
She grinned proudly.
"I know."
Remedy laughed under his breath before reaching over to straighten the collar of her little denim jacket.
"You remember what Daisy asked?"
Charlie rolled her eyes with all the theatrical suffering only a three-year-old could manage.
"Shoes stay on."
"And?"
"No running inside."
"And?"
She sighed.
"No teaching Mr. Pickles how to ride motorcycles."
Remedy raised an eyebrow.
"That one had to be added?"
Charlie looked completely unapologetic.
"He almost learned."
I couldn't stop laughing.
Remedy looked at me over the top of Charlie's head.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
I smiled.
"She makes this place happier."
His expression softened.
"I think she makes every place happier."
Before either of us could say anything more, Charlie slid back to the floor.
"I have to show Nathan something."
"What?"
"My dragon."
She hurried toward the playroom before anyone could ask another question.
Remedy watched her disappear.
"She made a dragon?"
"Apparently."
"Should I be worried?"
"I think his name is Pancake."
He rubbed a hand across his beard.
"I don't know whether that makes me feel better or worse."
"It depends."
"On?"
"Whether dragons like syrup."
For a moment...
He simply laughed.
Not politely.
Not because someone expected it.
A genuine laugh that reached his eyes.
It was strange how much younger it made him look.
"You've been spending too much time with my daughter."
"I think that's inevitable."
He looked toward the playroom where Charlie's excited voice had already begun explaining dragons to anyone willing to listen.
"She likes you."
The words were spoken quietly.
Almost thoughtfully.
"I like her too."
"I know."
He smiled faintly.
"She doesn't trust people easily."
I blinked.
"Really?"
He nodded.
"She's friendly with everyone."
"But trust..."
His eyes remained on Charlie.
"...that's different."
The same words Daisy had spoken that morning.
Children knew.
Long before adults did.
"I guess she decided I was safe."
"I think she decided that the first day you read stories to the kids."
He looked back at me.
"She talked about you the whole drive home."
My heart stumbled unexpectedly.
"She did?"
"Mhm."
He chuckled.
"I learned more about Sunshine than I have about most people after years."
I smiled.
"What did she tell you?"
He pretended to think.
"That you make pancakes better than anybody except Daisy."
"I'll accept second place."
"That your hugs fix scraped knees."
I looked down.
"She said that?"
"And..."
His smile grew.
"...that you smell like cookies."
Heat crept into my cheeks before I could stop it.
"I was baking."
"I figured."
For several seconds neither of us spoke.
The comfortable silence surprised me.
Most conversations in my life had always required careful attention.
Watching every word.
Every expression.
Wondering whether saying the wrong thing would have consequences.
Talking with Remedy never felt like that.
He simply...
Listened.
The sound of little feet interrupted the moment.
Charlie appeared again, this time carrying two drawings.
One was the bright yellow dragon.
The other...
Was a picture of three stick figures standing beneath an enormous smiling sun.
She proudly thrust the papers toward me.
"This one is Pancake."
"I can tell."
"And this one's us."
I looked down.
Three figures.
One much taller than the others.
The smallest held what looked like a teddy bear.
The third had very long yellow hair.
Above them Charlie had written in large uneven letters.
ME
DADDY
SUNSHINE
Something tightened painfully inside my chest.
"It's beautiful."
Charlie smiled.
"I made your hair extra pretty."
"You did."
"And Daddy's beard."
Remedy laughed.
"I appreciate the artistic accuracy."
Charlie pointed toward the tallest figure.
"I made Daddy smiling."
I looked at the drawing again.
He was.
Then Charlie pointed toward the figure with long yellow hair.
"I made you smiling too."
I swallowed.
"I see that."
"But..."
She tilted her head thoughtfully.
"...your eyes still look sad."
The room seemed to fall away around me.
Not because anyone else stopped moving.
Because time did.
I stared at the drawing without really seeing it anymore.
Instead...
I saw another piece of paper.
Another child's drawing.
Crayons worn almost to nothing.
A crooked little house.
Five stick figures.
Oliver had proudly handed it to me one rainy afternoon.
"I made everybody."
He'd pointed to each figure one by one.
"That's Emma."
"That's Ellie."
"That's baby Grace."
"And that's you."
Then he'd frowned.
"How come you're smiling..."
His little finger had touched the page.
"...but your eyes aren't?"
I had laughed.
Softly.
Carefully.
The way I always did.
"What do you mean?"
He'd looked genuinely confused.
"They don't match."
I remembered smoothing his messy hair away from his forehead.
"Sometimes grown-ups smile even when they're hurting."
He'd thought about that for a very long time.
Finally he'd wrapped his little arms around my waist.
"You don't have to pretend with me."
The memory struck with such unexpected force that my chest physically ached.
I hadn't thought about that afternoon in years.
Not really.
Not all of it.
I blinked quickly.
Charlie still stood in front of me.
Waiting.
Watching me with the same quiet concern Oliver had once carried.
Before I could answer...
She reached up and slipped her tiny hand into mine.
"Did I make you sad?"
I knelt slowly until we were eye level.
"No, sweetheart."
"Then why are your eyes shiny?"
I smiled, though this time it trembled slightly.
"Sometimes..."
I brushed one of her curls gently behind her ear.
"...people remember someone they loved very much."
Charlie considered that.
"Like Daddy remembers Mommy sometimes?"
I glanced toward Remedy.
He had gone very still.
Not because of Brooke.
Because he understood exactly what Charlie had just asked.
I nodded gently.
"Something like that."
Charlie leaned forward and wrapped her little arms around my neck.
The hug came without hesitation.
Without fear.
Without wondering whether it would be welcomed.
She simply...
Held me.
"I think they know you still love them."
The words were barely more than a whisper.
Yet somehow...
They reached places inside me I hadn't realized were still broken.
I closed my eyes.
Just for a moment.
And held her back.
I hadn't realized tears had escaped until Charlie reached up with both little hands and carefully cupped my cheeks.
Exactly the way I'd watched Remedy do countless times with frightened children.
Exactly the way he'd done with her that morning before leaving for Harbor House.
"You don't hafta cry."
Her voice was barely above a whisper.
"I don't mind."
The words caught somewhere behind my ribs.
"I know you don't."
She frowned thoughtfully before wiping beneath one of my eyes with the sleeve of her little denim jacket.
"There."
I laughed softly through the tears.
"What was that for?"
"'Cause Daddy says everybody deserves somebody."
I looked up instinctively.
Remedy still stood only a few feet away.
His blue eyes met mine for the briefest moment before dropping back to Charlie.
He hadn't interrupted.
He hadn't tried to rescue either of us from the emotion.
He had simply...
Given us the space to have it.
I was beginning to think that might be one of the kindest things about him.
Children didn't always need adults to fix their feelings.
Sometimes they simply needed someone willing to sit beside them while they experienced them.
Charlie nodded once, apparently satisfied that she'd solved the problem.
"There."
"You said that already."
"I know."
She smiled proudly.
"It worked better the second time."
I laughed again.
"It really did."
She beamed as though she'd personally accomplished something extraordinary.
Maybe she had.
Because without realizing it, she'd loosened something inside me that had remained locked for years.
Not broken.
Just...
Frozen.
Remedy finally stepped closer, kneeling beside Charlie until they were eye level.
"What do we always ask before hugging somebody?"
Charlie looked at him.
"If they want one."
He smiled gently.
"Did Sunshine look like she wanted one?"
Charlie considered the question very seriously.
"I think..."
She looked back at me.
"...her heart wanted one before her mouth knew."
The words stole every ounce of air from my lungs.