Chapter 15
Sunshine
The rain had stopped by the time we stepped onto the back porch.
Everything smelled clean.
The towering pines surrounding Harbor House glistened beneath the security lights, their branches still dripping from the afternoon storm while somewhere beyond the property line frogs had already begun their nightly chorus.
A cool breeze carried the scent of wet earth across the porch, easing the lingering tension that had followed me since the meeting.
For a long moment neither of us spoke.
We simply stood there.
Together.
Remedy leaned one shoulder against the porch railing, his hands resting loosely in the pockets of his jeans.
"I used to come out here after difficult calls," he said quietly.
I glanced toward him.
"When Charlie was little, I didn't want her seeing me carry every bad day into the house."
"So you stood out here instead?"
He smiled.
"For a few minutes."
"Did it help?"
"Sometimes."
"And the other times?"
"I'd walk inside anyway."
A small laugh escaped me.
He looked over, the corner of his mouth lifting.
"There it is."
"What?"
"That laugh."
"You really do notice."
"I always notice."
Silence settled again, but this one felt different.
Comfortable.
Safe.
The kind of silence I'd never known before Harbor House.
I wrapped my hands around the mug Daisy had insisted I take with me, though the tea had already begun to cool.
"I kept thinking about something you said."
He waited.
"You told me I mattered even when I wasn't helping anyone."
"You do."
"I don't know if I'll ever completely believe that."
"You don't have to tonight."
"There you go again."
"What?"
"Never asking me to be healed before I'm ready."
He looked out across the dark yard.
"I've spent enough years helping people recover to know healing isn't something you can rush."
"No?"
"No."
His voice remained calm.
"You walk beside someone."
"You don't drag them."
The words settled somewhere deep inside me.
No one had ever walked beside me.
They had pulled.
Pushed.
Ordered.
Expected.
Demanded.
But never simply stayed.
"I've been afraid," I admitted.
"I know."
"Not of you."
"I know that too."
"I'm afraid because..." I swallowed hard.
"...because I don't know how to have something good without waiting for someone to take it away."
Remedy turned toward me completely.
"I can't promise life won't hurt us."
"I know."
"I can't promise the Order disappears tomorrow."
"I know."
"I can't even promise I won't make mistakes."
His eyes met mine.
"But I can promise this."
He stepped closer.
"I'll never take your choices away."
My throat tightened.
"Not one."
Another step.
"If you tell me to stop..."
He smiled softly.
"I stop."
"If you tell me to stay..."
"I stay."
"If you need time..."
"I'll give you all the time you need."
Tears blurred my vision before I realized they were falling.
"I don't know why that makes me cry."
"I do."
His hand lifted.
Then stopped halfway.
"May I?"
I nodded.
His fingertips brushed a tear from my cheek with such unbelievable gentleness that another one followed immediately behind it.
"I've never had this before," I whispered.
"I know."
"I don't even know what I'm doing."
"You don't have to."
"I don't?"
He shook his head.
"We'll figure it out together."
The words broke whatever fragile wall still remained around my heart.
I reached for him.
Not because he asked.
Not because he expected me to.
Because I wanted to.
My hands rested against his chest.
I could feel the steady beat of his heart beneath my fingertips.
Strong.
Patient.
Steady.
Just like the man himself.
"I've spent so much of my life surviving."
His arms remained at his sides.
Waiting.
"I don't want to survive anymore."
His voice was barely above a whisper.
"What do you want?"
I smiled through my tears.
"I want to live."
Only then did his hands settle gently around my waist.
Never trapping.
Never holding too tightly.
Simply there.
Supporting me.
"You already are."
I leaned up and kissed him.
Slowly.
The world disappeared.
Not because it no longer existed.
Because, for the first time, I wasn't watching every door or every shadow.
I was simply kissing the man I loved.
His lips moved against mine with the same patience he'd shown me since the day we'd met.
No hurry.
No expectation.
Only quiet reassurance.
When we finally drew apart, our foreheads rested together.
"I love you, Sunshine."
The words stole my breath.
He hadn't said them to persuade me.
He'd said them because they were true.
"I..."
Emotion closed around my throat.
"I don't know if I'm ready to say it yet."
"You don't have to."
"I know."
"I'll wait until the words belong to you."
Another tear slipped free.
"You make everything feel like a choice."
"Because it is."
I laughed softly through the tears.
"I think..."
I took a slow breath.
"I think I'm ready."
His eyes searched mine carefully.
"Ready for what?"
I slipped my fingers between his.
"For tomorrow."
Understanding filled his expression.
"Are you sure?"
I smiled.
"I've never been more sure."
He lifted our joined hands and brushed a kiss across my knuckles before opening the back door.
"Come inside."
The invitation carried no pressure.
No expectation.
Only hope.
I followed him into the quiet farmhouse.
The lights had been dimmed for the night.
Somewhere upstairs an old floorboard creaked as the house settled around us.
He looked back once, silently asking the question one final time.
I answered by closing the distance between us and placing my hand in his again.
Together we climbed the stairs.
Not because either of us owed the other anything.
Not because fear demanded comfort.
But because love had quietly grown between us until neither of us wanted to spend another night pretending it wasn't there.
He opened the bedroom door.
I stepped inside.
When he reached for me again, I went willingly into his arms.
The door closed softly behind us.
And for the first time in my life...
I chose what came next.
I didn’t think after his lips met mine. Before long he had removed both of our clothing. I stook in panties and bra and he wore his boxers.
I felt my skin pebble as his lips ran down my neck and slipped over my shoulder.
There wasn’t a spot that his lips didn’t coast over.
He slowly lowered the strap to my bra before kissing where it had sat then moved over and did the same to the other side before reaching to my back and unclasping it and letting it fall to the floor.
His arms wrapped around my waist as his bent and then all thought disappeared as I felt his lips close around my nipple. One of his other hands reached up to massage my other breast and then I gasped as he pinched it, sending a jolt of something straight between my legs like a lightening strike.
I watched in awe as he dropped to his knees then and continued to kiss down my belly.
My breathing was getting faster and I didn’t know what to think.
I had never felt this way before. I had never let a man touch me this way.
Until a few days ago I had never kissed a man either.
My life was changing and I couldn’t help but want it to continue and enjoy each new adventure.
His hands slipped into the waistband of my panties and lowered them to the floor until I was completely naked in front of him.
“Hold onto my shoulders love.” I did as he told me and I felt him lift my left leg to lay across his shoulder, opening me wider.
I felt the warmth fill my cheeks. I hadn’t been naked in front of another person since I was child, I definitely hadn’t had anyone ever look there.
But I heard him moan and glanced down to see him staring straight at the most secretive place on my body.
“So fucking perfect.” His eyes found mine once again. “You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on and I am the luckiest man alive to be able to call you mine.”
Mine. I knew what that meant. I was his and he was mine from that moment on.
Then I couldn’t’ think once again as the sensation of his mouth covered my pussy and then he licked along my folds and filled body with unimaginable sensations.
I felt something build up within me and I felt like I would combust any moment.
“Remedy. I don’t…”
“It’s alright love. Let go. Don’t think. Just feel.”
I knew I could trust him and closed my eyes to do just as he asked.
“Open your eyes Sunshine and look at me.” I felt him rise and he replaced his mouth with his hand as one finger slipped inside me.
That was all I needed as I felt sparks fly and my body tighten with a euphoric emotion and then I was falling.
His eyes held mine as he continued to caress me.
Then he was kissing me again and lifted me to lay me on the bed.
Before I knew what was happening he was lying between my thighs and I felt his long length resting against my thigh.
“Remedy.” It didn’t sound like my voice anymore. It was deep and raspy and I looked at him with wonder. I had never felt that way before.
“I take it from the look on your face that was your first orgasm.”
All I could do is nod.
“There is much more where that came from sweetheart. We are only getting started.” I felt him push slowly inside me until he stopped. “This is going to hurt a little but I will make it better.”
I nodded. I knew all about the pain that was going to come and I was prepared for it.
Then he gave one large thrust until he was buried inside me.
I felt the stretching pain within me and couldn’t help the gasp.
His hand came up and swept across my cheek at what I could only assume was a tear and then he kissed where it had been.
He stayed still for a moment and let me adjust before I felt his hips move and another feeling of pleasure filled me with his movements.
He began slow and steady until I was pushing up against him. “More Remedy. I need more. I won’t break.”
He looked at me for just a second and something on my face must have told him my words were true because he lifted my legs and adjusted until he was hitting a certain spot that made my eyes roll back in my head and a deep groan escape me.
He continued to move faster and harder until I felt another orgasm slam into me.
I heard his deep groan as he followed me just a moment later.
We laid there for a few minutes trying to catch our breath before he raised up and went to the bathroom. I heard water running and then he came back into the room and gathered me in his arms.
“What are we doing.”
“Taking a bath.” He said it so matter of fact all I could do is look at him. “It will help with the soreness and I want to hold you in my arms a little longer before bed.” It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me.
“Nobody has ever taken care of me like this Remedy.” I looked up at him with my arms around his neck and felt the tears fill my eyes. I knew then that he was unlike anyone I had ever met.
“That changes now. You and Charlie are my world now Sunshine.”
I smiled and then sighed in content as he set me into the filled bathtub before getting in behind me.
There was a scent wafting from the water with the steam and I realized he had put oils in the tub to help me with soreness as well.
I laid my head back against his chest as he slowly ran his fingers up and down my arms. We didn’t say anything.
We didn’t really need to, we just enjoyed the quiet between us and relaxed.
I must have started to fall asleep in the tub because I was roused slightly when I felt myself being lifted and then laid in a bed. Something hot was behind me and then a cover was laid on top of my body. That was all I remembered before everything went black.