12. Chapter 12
Charlotte
The day is finally here when I can leave this god-forsaken hospital and go home to my own bed…
alone. Although I’m not really alone, am I?
The handsome stranger is coming to play nurse until I can get back on my feet.
I can’t promise I’ll be pleasant company, though.
All I want to do is hide under the covers with my dog and wish all this pain would go away.
Speaking of Bella, I can’t wait to see her again.
I’ve never been away from her for this long.
I keep thinking about all the things that are waiting for me when, suddenly, reality hits. I’ll need to deal with my parents' affairs and plan their funerals. My stomach drops at the thought of that, and I have no idea how I’m going to cope.
I’ve shut down any time either Jake or Wren have mentioned it.
It’s like if I talk about it, it’s real, and I’m not ready to accept I’ll never see them again.
I hate the sympathetic looks on everyone's faces, and it’s only going to get worse once I’m out of here.
So for now, my emotions are locked tight in a vault, and I grieve when no one else is watching.
Just like right now, when I have a moment alone to reflect on the past week and everything that’s happened.
Jake’s arriving soon to take me home, and I’m bubbling with anxiety and trepidation.
How can I share a house with someone I don’t know?
I wish Wren could stay with me, but I know she can’t, and even the extra week she’s staying is too long—she needs to get back to Portland.
I have other friends here, Kayla and Alyssa, and Alyssa’s mom, Hannah. I could message one of them to come and stay with me. I search around for any signs of my phone but come up empty handed, and my broken rib is making it difficult to turn. I’ll ask Jake when he gets here.
While I stew on it, the door opens and in walks the adonis himself—at least he’ll be pretty to look at while I recover.
God, get a grip Charlotte, what is wrong with you?
This man gives me butterflies like I’ve never experienced.
Sure, I’ve seen handsome men before, but this guy takes the cake.
My cheeks heat from embarrassment, I can’t have him look after me.
“Hey, I have your discharge papers and a wheelchair. We’re good to go.” He showcases the chair like it’s a prize on a gameshow.
“Listen, I’ve been thinking: maybe it’s not a great idea for you to look after me. I mean, I don’t know you. My friends Kayla and Alyssa, I’m sure they could help instead-”
“No Lottie. I’ll look after you and help you around the house. Don’t worry, I won’t stay. I’ll come in, help you up and get you settled, and then come back later. I can also take Bella out for you.”
“My friends can do all that, so you don’t need to.”
Hurt flashes across his face at my comment that I don’t see him as a friend. I realize I have just put my foot in it yet again.
“Kayla is stacked with appointments at work and Alyssa has some brand trips coming up, so they won’t be as accommodating as I can be. I’m off all season; let me help you.”
Relenting, knowing there doesn’t seem to be any way out of this, I let him help me into the wheelchair, the bag of meds resting on my lap as he wheels me out of the hospital.
The fresh air hits my face and a cold shiver runs through me. This is it. It’s time to face reality. Keeping my eyes focused forward, I try to remember how to breathe, but my airways constrict until I’m choking on nothing. Warm hands land on my cheeks, forcing my gaze to Jake’s.
“Lottie, focus on me. You’re having a panic attack. It’s ok. You’re ok.”
I’m clutching his shoulders now, gasping for air, which is proving even harder than usual with the injuries I have.
“Breathe with me, follow my lead.”
We breathe in and out together until I can finally take in some much-needed oxygen.
“You’re doing great, Lotts. Now, tell me three things you can see.”
Taking a look around me, I answer, “Cars, trees, and a lamp post.”
“Excellent, now what three things can you hear?”
“Your voice, the rustle of the leaves, and birds chirping.”
“Amazing, one more, which I know might be hard right now, but humor me. Can you move three parts of your body?”
I wiggle my fingers, lift my good leg up, and stick my tongue out at him. He chuckles at that one.
“Ok, smart ass. You feel ready to go now?”
I nod, and just as he moves around to take the handles of the wheelchair, I grab his forearm.
“Thank you. For knowing what I needed at that moment.” I offer him a small smile.
He shrugs. “It’s not my first rodeo.” He offers no further information, and we head toward a shiny black BMW SUV. It looks fancy. Jake told me he plays hockey in the NHL, so I knew he was earning big bucks, but this car looks like it’s worth more than my house.
Doors open, he walks toward me and goes to grab me under my legs to lift me up.
“W-what are you doing?” I ask.
“I’m lifting you into the car? Last I checked, you had a broken leg, and this car is too high for you right now,” he raises his brow.
Of course it is, eugh I’m so stupid. What did I think he was going to do?
He lifts me like I weigh nothing, holding me like I’m something precious, like if he squeezes too hard, he’ll hurt me.
I’m settled into the front seat, which he’s reclined and pushed all the way back.
A blanket is thrown over me and my seatbelt is fastened over the top.
“You good?” he checks, looking over at me for any sign of discomfort, and when I give him the ok, he shuts the door and pops the chair in the trunk before getting in and starting the engine.
The drive to mine is silent, with nothing but the hum of the radio between us.
My mind drifts back to the list of things I’ll need to do for my parents, and it hits me: I have no idea how to do any of these things or what I even need to do.
Oh my god, will I have to get up in front of everyone and say something?
My heart rate starts to speed up. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, breathing through my nose and desperately trying not to throw up.
“What’s going through your head, Lotts? You’ve got your thinking face on.”
He can read me well, that's for sure.
“Just thinking about my parents and how I’m going to say goodbye. God, Jake, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do now. Do I just call a funeral parlor? How do I find their will? There’s just so much I don’t know or want to deal with right now.” I sigh and cover my hands with my face.
“We can figure it out. My mom’s been through all this when my dad died, so she’ll definitely be able to help you, and you know her.”
“I do? Also, I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Yeah, Hannah is my mom and Alyssa is my sister. And it’s ok. He died a long time ago.” Jake reaches his hand out to mine and clasps it in his.
“Hannah is your mom?”
He nods. Wow, ok. So we’re definitely close then.
“And Alyssa is your sister.”
“Yep, she’s my younger sister.”
This is so weird. How can I know these people but not him? It’s making my head hurt just thinking about it. Hopefully my memories make an appearance soon.