34. Chapter 34
Charlotte
Charlotte - SOS
Kayla - WTF? What’s going on?
Charlotte - So, I did something last night
Kayla - Did you jump Jake’s bones?
Charlotte - No?
Kayla - That’s disappointing, you look like you could do with a good dicking
Charlotte - Kayla!
Kayla - What?
Charlotte - Jake and I kissed
Kayla - Shut up
Kayla - Are you freaking kidding me?
Charlotte - Nope it really happened and then I threw up after
Kayla - On him?
Charlotte - No in a plant pot
Charlotte - I was drunk
Charlotte - Now I’m hungover and overthinking
Kayla - I’m on my way and I’m bringing ingredients for mimosas
Charlotte - Kay, I just said I’m hungover
Kayla - I heard you girl, trust me the best way to get over a hangover is to drink more
Kayla - I’ll be with you soon babe, Louis is lecturing me on how to jump a car
Kayla – It’s so sexy when he’s in teacher mode
Charlotte – TMI Kay, I’ll see you soon
Crawling out of bed, I try to make myself look as presentable as I can.
I feel and look like an absolute sack of shit and now my mind is starting to play tricks on me.
My insecurities are coming back like a ghost to haunt me.
I know what Jake said this morning about wanting me, and the tattoo on his arm is evidence enough, but I just can’t seem to wrap my head around it all. What do I have to offer him?
Bella’s barking at the door, which means Kayla's arrived. I open the door and she’s standing there with a champagne bottle in one hand, orange juice for our mimosas in the other, and some takeout bags by her feet along with a very excited Remy, her wiener dog.
He runs off with Bella and they’re soon curled up together.
“I grabbed us some breakfast, something to soak up the alcohol you’ve already ingested, along with what we’re about to have,” she smiles at me as she shimmies with the bottles.
Unwrapping what looks like the most delicious smoked salmon and scrambled egg bagel, I dive right in.
I didn’t realize how hungry I was as I moan around a mouthful.
Kayla’s making the mimosas, which look to be 90% champagne, and actually, I think I’m going to need it to get through this conversation.
She brings over our drinks and gets straight down to business.
“So, yesterday took a turn from when we spoke in the morning. You kissing Jake was not on my bingo card.” She takes a sip of her drink.
“Trust me, it wasn’t on mine either.” My cheeks pinken at the memory of sitting in his lap with his tongue in my mouth. I quickly take a bite of my food and wash it down with my cocktail.
“So, what happened? How did it happen? Did he use tongue? Was he hard? I have so many questions.” Kayla takes a massive bite of her own bagel while eagerly waiting for me to spill the tea.
“After you guys left, we had dinner and another bottle of wine on the terrace. We were huddled under a blanket and, in my drunken state, I asked him why he didn’t kiss me at the rink.”
Kayla looks at me, seeming to be impressed by my boldness. “Yes, girl! And what did he say?”
“He said it was because he couldn’t ignore my growling stomach.
” I roll my eyes. “So, I said, ‘Well I’m not hungry now,’ and he was like, ‘But you’re drunk.
’ And to be honest, I didn’t think I was as drunk as I was.
But in the end, he just said, ‘Fuck it,’ and went for it.
” My cheeks are flaming now—I’m blaming the alcohol.
“Wow, I’m literally shook. The balls on you two. Finally. I’m impressed.” She’s looking at me now, chewing the corner of her lip, trying to decipher what I’m thinking. I don’t even know myself, babe.
“In answer to your other questions, there was tongue involved and, when he slid me onto his lap, I felt a significant bulge.” I cover my face with my hands. “It was all-consuming and mind-altering; the world faded away around us—until I ruined the moment and puked everywhere.”
“Babe, I can’t believe you did that. Although it could have been worse, you could have puked on him.” She giggles as she tops up our glasses.
“Yes, thank God for small mercies. After, he put me to bed, where I passed out and woke up freaking out. And honestly? I still am.”
“What was said this morning? Did you talk to him?”
“Yep, I couldn’t sleep, and it seems neither could he.
I rambled on and on about how it was a mistake, and it shouldn’t have happened…
” I wave my hand in the air as in a ‘you get my drift’ kind of motion.
“He said he was sorry he took advantage of me in my drunken state, but he wasn’t that sorry because he liked it and wanted it. ”
Kayla squeals. “Stop it, he actually said that? Look at Jake going after what he wants.”
“What do you mean?”
She blows out a breath and braces her arms on my shoulders. “Ok, I know I’m not meant to tell you things and you’re meant to recover shit in your own time, blah blah blah, but I need to tell you this. I think it’ll clear some things up for you.”
“What things?”
“Well, before the accident, you were in love with Jake, and I’m pretty sure he was—I mean is—in love with you,” she blurts out.
What the hell? I was in love with Jake? And he might feel the same? “So, if we felt like that, why weren’t we together? Because I’m pretty sure last night was my first kiss, and I’m 100% sure I’m still a virgin.”
“Because you were both so blind to each other’s feelings, even now it seems. You were both stuck in the friend zone for so long neither of you knew how to get out. Until you almost did.” She lets that statement hang in the air.
I’m desperate to gulp down the rest of my mimosa, but I need a clear head for the rest of this conversation.
A memory floats to the surface of my mind:
A masquerade ball, Jake dancing, someone in a red dress dancing with him.
Is that me? We’re dancing so close and intimately, like we’ve been doing this for years.
Our faces move in closer together, lips almost touching when we’re interrupted by a beautiful brunette woman.
The memory flicks to me outside the venue, tears streaming down my face and ripping my mask off.
“The masquerade ball.”
Kayla squeals and claps her hands. “Oh my god! You remember! That was your birthday, the one just before the accident. I really thought that would be the night you two finally stopped dancing around each other, but then Vanessa the Viper showed up and you left like you were going to turn into a pumpkin at midnight.” She stops to take a breath.
“Is Vanessa the brunette who interrupted us?” I ask. “Who is she?”
“She’s a puck bunny—the girl honestly needs a muzzle.” I swear I almost see Kayla bare her teeth. “She is all over Jake like a rash, but he’s not interested, and if you had stuck around long enough, you would have seen him push her away.”
Wow, this is a lot to process. “But I’m too inexperienced to hold his attention, and as much as he says he’s happy to take it slow, my version of slow might be too slow, you know?” Why am I trying to talk myself out of this? What is wrong with me?
Kayla narrows her eyes and purses her lips, obviously trying to think where to start with this. “I’m not normally good with the advice—I tend to be more of an inappropriate comment kind of girl—but for you, I’m going to try. And I’m going to give you some tough love at the same time.”
I’m not sure I’m ready for this. I down my drink, and she pours us another. Then she starts.
“First of all, you are plenty good enough for Jake Smithson. You’ve been friends for a long time and all he has done since I’ve known him—which is also a long time—is talk about you, and vice versa. You’re always on his mind; his tattoo is evidence of this.”
I’m about to jump in when she holds a finger up, stopping me. “Also, he’s not interested in puck bunnies. Yes, he may have been with a few in his time, but it wasn’t ever anything meaningful, just something to pass the time when he thought he couldn’t be with you.”
I mull this over, I guess I can see that being true, especially if he thought he was in the friend zone. He hasn’t been with anyone since my accident, and I know this—he’s pretty much been glued to my hip since then.
“He knows you’re inexperienced. I revert back to point one: he’s known you since you were ten. He’s not stupid. To be honest, he probably likes that you haven’t been with anyone else.”
Hadn’t thought about it like that. A lot of guys in books seem to like it when they’re the girls’ first.
“And lastly, he won’t care how slow you go.
He just wants to be with you, in whatever capacity that is.
What will drive him away, is you pushing him away, letting your insecurities get the better of you.
If Jake didn’t want to be with you, he wouldn’t be.
Ok, enough advice from me, I’m starting to not recognize myself and it’s scary.
” Kayla downs her mimosa before refilling her glass and downing that as well.
She’s right, I can’t let my fears and insecurities ruin this. Maybe if I could remember more of our past, I wouldn’t feel this way. I need to get up into the attic and look for my old journals and read the ones we took from my parents’ house—anything for clues to more of our history.
Kayla and I have migrated outside as the weather today is glorious and it feels good to have the sun on my face. I’m feeling much better too—it seems more alcohol really was the way to go.
Kayla’s phone rings “Hey baby…what?” she screams and dashes off inside.
There’s yelling coming from the living room, and I don’t know what Louis’ done, but it does not sound good.
“Do you want a divorce?” she screeches down the phone. I think half of San Diego heard her.
Kayla comes back out, swigging straight from the bottle of champagne, sunglasses covering her eyes, and a solemn look on her face.
“Babe, what happened? Is everything ok?” I ask with genuine concern, never having seen my friend like this before.
She holds a hand up, halting me as she sniffs, “I can’t talk about it right now; I need three to five business days to process what's just happened."