38. Chapter 38
Charlotte
Waking up alone after one of the best nights of my life is definitely disappointing. Since Jake told me about his tattoo, we haven’t spent a night apart, and even though it’s only been three days, I’m already addicted to feeling his arms wrapped tightly around me as we sleep.
Last night, we had our first official date, and while the food and setting were incredible, what came after was even more special. The level of intimacy we shared came so naturally, searing itself into my heart.
My feelings for him are growing deeper by the day, and I’m powerless to stop them. Is this how I felt before the accident? An incessant need to be in his orbit?
Sprawling out on the bed, I reach over to Jake’s side and bring his pillow to my nose, where his scent still lingers. I love how he smells; it’s so comforting and familiar. I’m pretty sure it’s Christian Dior Sauvage, and just like that, I’m whirling back in time to when I was eighteen years old.
Age 18
“Happy Birthday, J!” I sing as I enter his dorm. It’s his nineteenth birthday today, and the first one we’ve celebrated together in person. Because of that, he decided he wanted to spend it with just me.
The dorm he shares with his roommate, Jacques, is a mess, but that’s guys for you. They never have their door locked either, which is either for my benefit or the endless revolving door of puck bunnies these two seem to have. Honestly, they’re disgusting.
Jake barrels into me, lifting me up and spinning me around as I laugh. College has brought me out of my shell, or should I say, Jake has. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still rather hide away, but he doesn’t give me the chance to retreat—he’s always including me, and I love him for it.
“Put me down, J, you don’t want to put your back out before your next game.” I swat at him and he relents.
“Come on, Lottie, I bench double what you weigh. You’re as light as a feather.” He gives me a teasing smile.
Remembering the gift bag I brought with me, I go to retrieve it and hand it over to him.
“Here you go, I almost forgot.”
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he says as he literally shreds the paper in seconds. Didn’t have to get him anything, my ass.
I couldn’t afford a lot, seeing as we’re students, but I see his face light up as he opens his first gift. It’s a photo of me and him at his first hockey game where he actually had ice time. I’m wearing his jersey, and we’re hugging so tightly, faces squeezed together.
“Lottie, I love it. Thank you.” He kisses my hair and then tackles opening his other gift.
As soon as he’s unwrapped the second present, which is a bottle of cologne—Christian Dior Sauvage, to be precise—he’s dousing himself in it to the point I actually start to choke on the fumes.
“J, I think that’s more than enough. You want the bottle to last,” I cough out while I waft my hand in the air.
“I’m never wearing anything else, Lottie. This is my scent from now on.”
Oh my god. He still wears the same cologne after all this time? He was true to his word, and now I’m desperate to see him so I can tell him what I’ve remembered.
As I roll back over, I see a note on my bedside table along with an iced coffee waiting for me.
Lottie
Thank you for an amazing first date. I’m sorry I’m not there when you wake up, but trust me: I didn’t want to leave. I’ll be back after morning skate.
Love
J
XXX
Holding the note close to my chest, butterflies stirring in my belly, I take a sip of my coffee. It’s super cold and the ice cubes are still intact, which means Jake can’t have been gone long.
Bella looks up from her perch at the end of the bed, thumping her tail against the covers. “Good morning, my precious girl,” I coo as she gets up to stretch and comes over to me.
Scratching behind her ears, I luxuriate in bed while I catch up on emails and finish my coffee before finally making a start on my day.
Alyssa will be here soon to take me to PT, so I quickly get dressed in a pair of sweats and a baggy T-shirt, courtesy of Jake.
Then, I shovel some yogurt and fruit down just as there’s a knock at the door.
As I go to open it, Alyssa comes bouncing through in her all-black ensemble.
I wish I could pull off the grunge chic she so effortlessly does.
Today, she’s got an oversized band tee knotted at the side, black denim shorts, and her signature Dr. Marten boots on.
She’s also wearing the most beautiful black choker around her neck.
It has a gold chain hanging down from it with a black heart pendant on it.
I’d never be able to carry off something like that but, like I say, Alyssa looks so stylish.
She takes the seat next to Bella, who is now grateful to be at the receiving end of some attention.
“Nice necklace—is it new?” I ask, finishing my coffee.
The faintest of blushes creeps up her face as she caresses the heart pendant. “Oh, this old thing? I forgot I had it, to be honest.”
She can’t hold my gaze, but I let it go for now and go back to admiring the pendant. I wonder if it’s from the mysterious mystery man; I’m still trying to figure out who he is.
Quickly changing the subject as she shoots up from her seat, Alyssa instructs, “Come on, we don’t want to be late for your PT.”
And just like that, she’s out the door like a tornado.
PT kicks my ass yet again, but the sight of seeing Jake in the waiting room makes all the pain worthwhile and, even though I hate to admit it, my leg is feeling stronger. No pain, no gain, right?
As we wrap our arms around each other, I hold on just that little bit longer, I squeeze him a little tighter too. It doesn’t go unnoticed, as Jake leans back to look into my eyes.
“Is something wrong, sweetheart?” he asks as he pushes a lock of hair behind my ear.
My smile is wide as I take in his beautiful face. “I remembered something this morning,” I tell him as my own hands come up to play with his hair. I love running my fingers through it, the short waves are so soft.
“Oh yeah? What did you remember?” I’m sure his smile now matches mine, and we’re both standing in the waiting room grinning at each other like loons.
“The scent on your pillow. I remember buying you that cologne for your nineteenth birthday.”
His eyes widen. “Yeah, that’s right, baby, you did. I’ve never changed it.”
Reaching up, I brush my lips against his. “Thank you.”
“What for?” his brows arch.
“For always having me in your thoughts, for loving me so fiercely,” I desperately want my feelings to catch up to his, for me to remember more.
“Always, baby. Always.”
I don’t know what happens between us leaving PT and the drive home, but Jake’s mood turns sour, he becomes quieter and more withdrawn. I’ve never seen him like this, and it instantly has me worried. Did I do something? Say something?
I reach out to touch his arm, and he jumps at my touch.
“Hey, are you ok?” I ask him.
His knuckles are white on the steering wheel as he drives.
“Yeah, I’m fine, Lotts,” he grabs my hand and kisses it.
He’s not fine; he sounds dejected and just…sad.
“I’m just in my head, that’s all. It’s my dad’s ten-year anniversary in a few days, and I completely forgot about it.”
I wish there was something I could do to make him feel better. All I can do is be there for him like he’s been for me. I give his bicep a squeeze. Wow, that’s hard. I always forget he’s smuggling boulders under his skin.
“You know you can always talk to me; I’ll be your sounding board. Or, if you just want to cuddle and sit in silence whilst we watch true crime, we can.”
A ghost of a smile appears on his lips. “I’d like that. Can we have donuts and some of your homemade lemonade?”
How can I deny him? “Anything you want, J, you can have it.”
“Can I have you?” he asks as we pull up to my house.
“I’m already yours.” I think I always have been…