69. Chapter 69
Charlotte
I’m careful as I climb the steps into the attic, aware my leg still isn’t at full strength. Once I’ve made it to the top, I scan the neatly packed boxes until I spot the one I’m after.
Pulling it from the shelf, I plop down onto the floor and pull out the journals that make up my adult life. The only one missing is this year—it was ruined in the accident—but there’s still a lot to unpack here.
I can’t believe I’m in San Diego with Jake.
Who would have thought I’d actually go through with it.
God, he’s handsome and so sweet. He helped me unpack all of my things and promised my parents he’d take care of me.
I also met his friend, Jacques; he’s a character, to say the least. For the first time since I decided to follow Jake to college, I feel like I’ve made the right choice.
I smile at that, the same Jake I know now. So handsome and so sweet. I continue reading.
June 27th 2017
It’s draft day! I can’t believe I’m here with Jake in New York for this.
We came a few days early and we went to see the sights.
It was so cool, I think New York could be my new favorite place to visit.
I’m keeping everything crossed Jake gets drafted to the San Diego Seals.
I don’t want him to leave me behind. I may have a teeny tiny crush on my best friend.
May 4th 2018
Ok, I’m not into Star Wars but Jake is. So as it’s May 4th, we sat and watched every Star Wars film made. I won’t lie, watching Jake so invested in something was super hot. My crush is escalating fast. Shame he seems to be into everyone else except me
April 18th 2019
I’m 21! Legally old enough to vote and drink and to tell my best friend I’m in love with him.
Yeah, right, as if I’d do that. I’m firmly in the friend zone.
He’s a brunette kind of guy and I’m blonde, so go figure.
He did give me the best surprise though.
He brought my parents here, who gave me my beautiful puppy.
If friendship is all I can ever have, then I’ll take it.
He’s truly the best person in this entire world.
He’s going to make someone very happy one day…
I can barely see in front of my face now, and I swipe again at my eyes with my arm as I continue to read hundreds of entries solidifying Jake’s place in my life.
October 14th 2020
There’s someone watching me on the beach…
December 25th 2020
Jake gave me another hockey jersey…how many do I need?
Apparently, this one is a special edition.
I’ll treasure it like I have every single one he has ever given me.
As usual, he sprayed it with his cologne—the same one I gave him for his birthday.
It's something he’s never changed, either.
A smell that’s distinctly Jake. In another life, things could be different.
September 30th 2021
How many times, Jake? Pineapple does not belong on a pizza! I swear he does this so he can eat the whole damn thing.
March 1st 2022
Watching Jake play hockey is incredible. I love seeing him live his dream. His dad would be so proud of the player he’s become. He’s so powerful and fast. I saw a photo of the team arriving and there he was in all his glory. His tailored suit fits like a glove.
I reach the last journal. I don’t know why, but I feel like this could be the most important one of all.
April 18th 2023
25 today and I decided to put my big girl pants on and tell Jake I’m in love with him.
What do I have to lose? If he doesn’t feel the same way, I’ll just laugh and say I’m joking.
I drove to his apartment with Bella, and I checked my phone for the millionth time before I got out.
I saw a photo on Instagram of him with another brunette.
Someone who doesn’t look anything like me.
I took that as a sign to just go home. Maybe in another life…
December 31st 2023
Another New Year sat in watching the ball drop.
I won’t stay awake to see it, I know. Jake’s on an away series, but we spoke earlier.
He wanted to check I received his latest postcard of Toronto.
I love receiving his postcards, living vicariously through him while he’s seeing these places, even if it is just an ice hockey rink.
I’ve made my intentions for 2024 and the number one thing for me is to finally tell Jake how I feel.
I’ve been getting some more friendly vibes this year, but maybe I’m imagining it.
No more chickening out or running away. I’m going to do it.
I need to know if there’s a possibility of more for us…
Oh my god. Struggling to breathe through my tears where my throat has tightened. I can’t believe it. Every entry is about him, and it’s clear to see how important and crucial a part of my life he’s played.
I wish he was here right now so I could show him everything. All these memories are now swirling around me clear as day. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t fully recall some of them, but I know enough now, and even if I didn’t, it’s all here in black and white.
I’m sitting here surrounded by journals and postcards; what am I doing still sitting here? I check my watch—shit, it’s 3 p.m. I need to tell Jake I love him and if he’s moving to Jackson, I’m coming too.
Life is too short for what ifs when it turns out I’ve loved Jake for a lifetime.
Carefully climbing down the stairs, I grab my car keys and slam the door behind me.
Turning on the ignition, “In My Head” by Jason Derulo plays, and I remember it’s a mixed tape Jake made for me when I passed my drivers exam. Smiling, I put my foot down and tear out of my driveaway.
I’m going to get my man.