Chapter 32 Faith
THIRTY-TWO
FAITH
This song brings back memories of Jude and me—it’s nostalgic. During the dances we attended together, there were a handful of slow songs that the DJ would play, and this was one of them.
“Feels like old times,” I say as he leads me to the dance floor.
There are a few others dancing, and Jude twirls me around and brings me into his body.
As we dance, it’s like our bodies are still familiar.
The music hypnotizes me as I sway back and forth, feeling him against me.
When I have my arms around his neck, my hands automatically go to his hair.
It’s silky and I know he likes the way I move my fingers through his hair.
The look in his eyes leaves me aching for him.
I don’t want any of this to end, even though I leave tomorrow.
The thought has my stomach in knots. He brushes my hair over my ear, and my body buzzes with his touch.
He leans in and gently caresses my cheek.
And then our lips meet, and my legs faulter.
He holds me up with his powerful arms while I gain my balance again.
He pulls away mere inches and confesses, “I love having you in my arms. Are you enjoying yourself?”
When I glance up into his amber eyes, he’s already staring at me. The way he is looking at me makes my heart beat faster. I want him to touch me all over my body and hold me forever.
“Yes, your friends are great. I’m happy Kendall and Klara hit it off with all that wedding talk. It sounds like the wedding is going to be one for the books,” I say, continuing to stare back at him.
This man still owns my heart. I know that deep down.
Even though I’ve been trying to move on from him for years.
And now, being with him, touching him, talking to him, feeling him, letting him care for me when I wasn’t feeling well—it’s easy to tell how much he still gets under my skin… in a good way.
My one question is: how will this all work once we leave the resort? I try to shake off the thought. I don’t want it weighing me down tonight.
He tightens his arms, and our bodies mold to each other.
Would I fit into his life?
In search of answers, I ask, “Do you travel a lot? You’re a highly sought after photographer, so I imagine you’re away from your home frequently.”
He eyes me like he’s searching for why I’m asking. Maybe I want to know what his life is like.
Would he fit into mine?
The heaviness of this unknown and the thought of leaving him tomorrow has my mind asking questions and that little bit of doubt weasels its way in.
“I love to travel.”
That doesn’t exactly answer my question, but I stay quiet to see if he elaborates a bit. While waiting to hear more about his life, I dare to imagine us back here as a couple with a ring on my finger. My mind reels.
“I’ve traveled a lot over the last few years. But I’ve dialed it back over the past year so I can spend more time with my family,” he says, brushing his hand through my hair and down my back.
“I love to travel, too. But I’m not good about blocking off the time in my calendar.”
“I understand that. Most of my travel is for work, but I try to book-end trips with some sightseeing and adventures. Not always a simple thing to do, though.”
We continue to dance with each other for a couple more slow songs.
And before I know it, I look around and realize the boat is pulling into the dock.
The night is over, and my heart sinks to my stomach–we’ll have to say our goodbyes soon.
I’m going to miss the way he holds me…the way he worships and cherishes me.
I haven’t felt like this in a long time.
I’m wondering how I’ve lived without him.
Apparently, I’ve been living a mediocre life.
“Hey, you okay?” he asks with concern on his face.
“Yeah. Stuck in my thoughts.” Doubt creeps in. I’ve spent these past few days with him without having a plan for what’s next. I’m a little uneasy over having no plan once we leave. As the boat comes to a halt, it symbolizes the end.
What does our future hold?
There are many obstacles that I can’t seem to shake off. Being on the resort, we didn’t have to focus on them. We’re in paradise. Now that I’m leaving tomorrow, how in the hell is this supposed to work between us beyond this trip?
“Anything you want to share?”
“Eh, just a little sad the night is ending.” I can’t bring myself to jump into the conversation about the future. I want to enjoy our last night together.
His hooded eyes gaze at me. “It doesn’t have to end right now.”
Goosebumps erupt all over my body. When he notices, he runs his hands up and down my arms. Then, he dips down to the crook of my neck and kisses me with force, which only intensifies the throbbing between my legs.
My panties are damp, and if he continues to touch me and look at me with those sensual eyes, I’m going to be soaked.
“I can walk you to your room once we dock,” he says.
“Yes, that would be great. Thank you.” If I only have one more night with him, I’m taking it. But the knot in my stomach is tightening, leading me to think I’m going to get hurt again.
My body has a mind of its own. I’m going to combust. There’s no way in hell I’m saying no. Another night with Jude beside me and inside of me sounds like the best way to end this night—this trip.
I can’t get enough of him.
How will this all work out? Ugh. I push my doubts down…deep down.