Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Alicia
“Aweek?!” Sadie yelled into the phone. The speaker broke out under the strain of her high-pitched demand.
I cringed. It was early morning, I’d left with Furgie first thing to go for a walk, while I waited for Town Hall to open so I could submit the petition.
The weekend’s events were still carrying me on a high, all the way from getting the signatures I needed, to spending Sunday with Remi curled up in front of the fire.
To waking up Monday morning knowing that somehow he and I would make everything work.
But there was the less-satisfying task of telling the people in our lives just that and dealing with the fallout of their feelings on it.
Sadie started and stopped a few sentences before she was finally able to say, “You’ve been fucking your ex for a week.”
“Yeah . . . I know. It sounds really bad . . .” I swallowed, trying to strengthen my tone. “And it’s not just fucking.”
“What”—she made an irritated hmm sound then said—“What does that mean?”
“That I . . . love him.” Finally saying the words out loud felt good, but also insane.
It took a few beats of silence before Sadie forced out, “Are you okay?”
I blinked down at Furgie as she sniffed a fire hydrant. “Am I okay?”
“Like emotionally, physically, mentally. Like, girl, this is one of the most off-base things I could imagine you doing.”
My face distorted into a whole new cringe. If telling Sadie—someone who did not know me and Remi at the time of our divorce—was going this poorly, then I really didn’t know how we were going to tell our families. “I’m good.”
“Are you?”
“Yes.”
Absolutely.
“Well . . . hell, ’Licia.” She sighed, and I pictured her hand pressed to her forehead the way she did when she was overwhelmed.
I had one earbud in so that I could chat with her while walking Furgie—which said more about being a woman than the dangers of Grand Ridge. The snow had mostly thawed, and the sandy soil was soft and wet.
“So, what is going on with you and Remi?” Sadie drew out all the sounds of his name.
“You don’t have to say his name like a dirty word.”
“I disagree.”
Looking both ways, I crossed the street. The sidewalk led up a sharp hill to the elementary school, and I was a bit winded as I asked, “Are you mad?”
She groaned. “No. Yes. I’m worried . . .” She trailed off and I waited for her to put her thoughts into words. “We didn’t know each other when you went through your divorce, but like, I know, you know?”
I grunted my understanding.
“Like, he’s not just some guy. He’s the one that . . . He left his mark. No other guy has ever had a chance with you because of him. And I don’t know this man for any other reason than he hurt you. And if he does it again . . . I don’t want to cause him physical damage. But I will.”
I coughed a laugh, my heart melting. “Physical damage?”
“Yes. And don’t say aww, I’m not being adorable.”
“Oh, Sadie, we should do a coaching on how to be threatening.”
“Don’t. I’m being serious.” She might have sounded cute, but her concern for me was real—and I just loved her.
“I’m sorry, Sadie. I hear you.”
“Do you? What if I told you this?”
My shoulders climbed toward my ears, and I wished I could shrink to the size I actually felt. “I would not be cool about it.”
“No, you wouldn’t. And you’d be dead to nuts right not to be. You’d be having a come to Jesus talk with me so fast. I’m worried for you.”
“I know.”
She sniffled. “This is what you want?”
“So badly,” I admitted through the tightness in my chest and the vulnerability of admitting it.
“Okay, then what does this mean? Is he moving here?”
“I think I might stay . . .”
“In Michigan? Hours away from me?”
“Maybe?”
“I’m going to kill him. He doesn’t get to take you away from me.”
“It’s not just him. I’m really starting to love it here. He offered to move, but I travel for work, so it doesn’t make sense for him to uproot his life.”
“But it makes sense for you to?” she demanded. “Listen to yourself.”
“We haven’t fully decided,” I argued.
“Okay.” She heaved a sigh. “Okay. I don’t like this, I think you’re being . . . I don’t know. Spontaneous and chaotic and reckless.”
“Jesus, don’t hold back.”
“I will not.”
I chewed on my lower lip, this was about how I expected this conversation to go but it didn’t make it any less uncomfortable.
“But that’s who you are, and I love you for being so wildly messy. And I’ll have your back . . . always. I’ll wear a bridesmaids dress if you marry him again, or I’ll hold your hand if he makes you cry.”
“Sadie,” I whispered her name, my throat too tight to say more.
“If he fucks this up, I will wound him.”
I let out a watery laugh. I was fighting back my tears like my life depended on it, because she was not going to make me cry standing outside the fence of a playground. When I could trust my voice not to wobble, I said, “That was slightly more threatening.”
“Threatening implies that I don’t actually mean it.”
“How’d I get so lucky?”
“Because amazing people find amazing people.”
“Ugh. I freaking love you.”
“I freaking love you too.”
I started walking back toward my car parked at the library with its giant stone bricks and pillars flanking the front door. It was an incredible building. I didn’t know how it ended up being built here but it was obviously loved by the community.
“Congratulations, by the way,” she said, her voice a little more normal.
My eyebrows shot up.
“Not for whatever the hell is going on with you and Remi—”
I rolled my eyes, but only a little.
“I’m not ready for that,” she went on. “But for the signatures. I know you wanted this so badly.”
“Thank you.” I checked my watch. “Speaking of, it’s time for me to go submit the petitions. On to the next stage.”
“Grab a coffee after to celebrate!”
We said our goodbyes, and Furgie and I piled into my car. I drove the short distance to Town Hall. Promising to be right back, I patted her head before strolling into the building.
When I caught sight of Deb’s frowning face, apprehension twisted in my gut.
Shaking her head, she said, “Young lady, we’ve got a problem.”