Chapter 9 #2
“Your problem is you have too much integrity. You heard that saying, honest to a fault? That’s how you got integrity.
So much so that it’s to a fault. You’d hang yourself out to dry before causing anyone else any kind of pain, even if it was the right thing in the grand scheme of things to do.
It tore you up to have to choose one over the other.
Even though you knew the girlfriend wasn’t your mate, she still deserved to be treated well.
You still had trouble doing anything that would cause her pain.
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t,” Lucas said.
“Technically. But the truth of the matter is simple. I didn’t choose either.
But Cristie thinks I chose Bailey because I didn’t choose her.
But I didn’t really choose Bailey either.
Cristie says I should have chosen her after figuring out we’re mates.
And she’s right, which is why she’s hurt and angry.
But things aren’t always black and white for me.
Bailey was an innocent, she didn’t even know what I was.
She didn’t understand about mates and fate.
I paid the price for pursuing a committed relationship with her despite knowing she wasn’t mine, and knowing that was what hurt her.
And ultimately it’s what hurt Cristie, too.
Like I said, this is all the monster I created. ”
“How did you turn your back on the mate bond once it clicked into place? There’s no way I could have walked away from Anahla. Even before I’d laid eyes on her I knew I had to have her. I was obsessed.”
“Me, too. When I couldn’t get to Talie, I was nearly insane, until I got Darcie. Taking care of Darcie is all that saved me long enough to be able to save Talie,” Roman said.
“Who’s Darcie?” Remi asked.
“Our daughter,” Roman said.
“Got it,” Remi said. “I don’t know how I did it. I just know that I internalized everything. I withdrew from everything and everybody. It was not good, I was on the road to self destruction.”
“Because he’s stronger than most,” Laz said. “That kind of thing can only be done with strength. You were punishing yourself.”
Remi nodded slowly, acknowledging that they were right. “Honestly, even now I feel like all I’m doing is stumbling around here in the dark. She gets more and more pissed off. I get less and less tolerant. I’m thinking maybe I should just go. We’re only making it worse.”
“Why are you less and less tolerant?” Lucas asked.
“Doesn’t really matter,” Remi said, sitting back in the chair and looking out into the darkness again.
“It does. What are you less tolerant of since arriving here?” Lucas asked.
Remi’s eyes moved to focus on Lucas. “Cristie. She’s driving me insane.”
Roman, Laz, and Lucas all laughed again.
“Man, it’s not funny,” Remi said, trying to hide his own smile.
They kept chuckling. “She’s been a handful since she was a little bitty thing. She is strong willed and has a fast temper, but she’s not unreasonable,” Lucas said.
“I know she was pissed off when I got here. I mean yelling, eye twitching, squeezing breakfast sandwiches until they oozed between her fingers mad.”
They all laughed so hard they were almost crying, with Lucas holding his hand out acting out the squeezing his fist until imaginary food fell from his fist and he pretended to try to catch it.
Remi grinned at them, shook his head, and continued speaking.
“But I took it, I deserved it. What she’s feeling is my fault.
And she’s still pissed off. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, and I knew it wouldn’t be overnight, but she’s bringing in things I never expected to have to tolerate.
I’m trying. I really am. I lecture my Dragon all day long about patience and paying the price for what happened.
But at what point do I decide it’s a pointless endeavor and go? ”
Laz and Lucas shared a questioning look, then looked toward Roman, who was gazing off into the darkness acting like he hadn’t heard the last bit of conversation.
“What is she doing to you?”
Remi shook his head.
“We’re here because Riley said you’re part of us now. We care about Cristie, so we care about her mate. What could possibly be that bad?”
“She’s spending time with somebody else. And making no secret of it.”
“No way!” Lucas exclaimed.
“You sure about that?” Laz asked.
“All I know is what I’ve seen. I probably shouldn’t be saying anything at all, so you know what? Never mind. I’ll handle it,” Remi said.
Lazarus sat forward, his elbows balanced on his thighs. Finally he looked up at Remi. “Look, one thing I know is she wouldn’t be so angry if she didn’t have feelings for you. If she had no feelings for you, you being here wouldn’t affect her at all.”
“Exactly,” Lucas affirmed.
“I keep hearing that,” Remi said.
“Maybe she’s trying to make you jealous,” Roman suggested.
“Would she do that?” Remi asked.
“Hell hath no fury and all that,” Lucas said.
“Truth! So much truth,” Lazarus said.
“Lucas!” Anahla called from the front door of their mobile home.
Instead of being irritated Lucas grinned. “That’s my Anahla.”
“Lucas?” Anahla called again.
He looked toward the sound of her voice. “I’ll see y’all later,” he said getting to his feet. “You let me know if you need anything,” he said, pointing at Remi as he walked away. He stopped when he’d gotten only a few feet away and grinned at Remi. “I like this. Same time, same place tomorrow?”
Remi looked at Roman and Lazarus still sitting with him. “Works for me.”
“See you then,” Lucas said, as he started toward home.
“On that note, I’m heading out, too. I’ll see you tomorrow, in fact, I’ll bring the beer, and if you show me what the name of that apple stuff is, I’ll even bring some of that,” Laz said, getting up and putting his chair back where he’d found it.
“It’s a Mexican brand. I found it at the store,” Remi said.
“Our store?”
“Yep. I’m kind of addicted now,” Remi confessed.
“I’ll bring it. Thanks for being honest with us. It helps. And though Riley is our Alpha and said we were to understand that you’re one of us now, Cristie is our girl. We still watch over her,” Lazarus said.
“I’m glad you do,” Remi said.
“Long as she’s mad as hell, keep hanging in there. It’ll be alright. I really believe that,” Laz said.
“Appreciate it,” Remi said, shaking Laz’s hand before he jumped over the railing and rushed off to join Lucas.
Remi turned his attention to Roman. “You going, too?”
“In a minute,” Roman said.
“Want another apple drink?” Remi offered.
“No. I want to talk to you, just me and you.”
“About what?” Remi asked.
“About Kaiser.”
Remi focused on Roman. He paused for only a second. “I didn’t say the male she’s seeing is Kaiser.”
“Didn’t have to. I know they’ve been spending time together. I’ve also seen her driving around in his car.”
Remi nodded slowly, waiting to see where this was going.
“The thing is, I’m kind of caught in the middle here,” Roman admitted.
“Because Kaiser is your nephew’s son,” Remi said.
Roman nodded. “He is. And I’m glad you know it already.
But that’s not the only thing. I’m not up for telling anybody else’s truth.
But I do know a few things that might help you out, but I don’t really have a right to say anything about them.
But maybe I should.” All of this was said with his naturally deep voice lowered in volume and hushed so he wouldn’t be easily overheard.
“I’m not going to ask you to break anyone’s trust,” Remi said.
Roman shook his head and got up, walking in a small circle before coming to a stop looking out over the porch railing and across the highway toward Riley’s house.
“It’s not just about trust. It’s about Cristie finding her way.
And there’s things that you should know.
It’ll put you at ease and maybe help you wait her out. ”
“Okay,” Remi said.
“You see, the thing is, Kaiser has a very ‘seen’ life. He’s got no privacy.”
“I can imagine,” Remi said.
“It gets tiring. People all want a piece of you. Women hunting you for the money and notoriety, men lining up to be your friend thinking you can do something for them. And I’m sure he did his own share of being in the wrong beds.
But he’s tired of it. Lately he started changing, and we could tell he wasn’t quite himself.
Then the last time he came home, he just left in the middle of Sunday dinner.
Just got up and stalked out. Got in his car and went racing away like something was chasing him.
This is the first time he’s been home since, and he was worse when he got here, than when he left.
Until he’s been spending time with Cristie. ”
“Are you trying to tell me that you think he’s a mate to Cristie, too?” Remi asked.
“No! No, not at all. I’m trying to tell you that whatever is going on between them, it’s not just about her issues. It’s about his, too. They are very close. They’ve always been close, and I’ve noticed that since he came home this time, they’re together a lot more. But it’s not romance.”
“She spent the night with him,” Remi said point blank. “She’s driving his car around, and he’s driving hers.”
“Yeah, I noticed they switched cars. I don’t know what that’s about. And maybe they did spend the night together, but they didn’t spend-spend the night together, if you know what I mean.”
“You’re saying they didn’t sleep together.”
“Right. There is no attraction between them. I don’t know what’s going on, but that much I do know.”
“So, what? Are they intentionally trying to make me leave?”
“Maybe. Pretending to be together so you’ll leave.
Maybe they’re just doing their thing and don’t care if you leave or not, or maybe it’s something completely different.
I wouldn’t put it past Kaiser to stir a little shit by pretending to be her boyfriend just to screw with you — especially if she asked him to.
He’s not afraid of anything. But he’s a really good kid.
A kind person, though a little standoffish at first. My point is, whatever’s going on, it’s not romance.
They’re not sleeping together, unless they’re just sleeping — which is completely possible.
But there’s no sex and no desire for there to be any sex,” Roman said.
Remi sat back and met Roman’s gaze for a few moments, scenting for a lie, looking for any indication he wasn’t sure about what he’d said. There was none. “I’ll keep that in mind, Roman. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And maybe I shouldn’t have said it, but Cristie needs you, and she can’t find her way to you if you turn tail and leave. So, just know her and Kaiser don’t want each other.”
“I scented her the morning after she’d stayed out all night with him. I could smell him, but there was no scent of sex.”
“She was in his car, sat beside him, might have slept beside him, but it’s no different than two friends sharing a bed. You scented no sex because there wasn’t any. There is no attraction of that kind there.”
Remi nodded. He knew well about close bonds with family and friends. “I’ve got some very close friends that anybody from the outside might think it was more. I understand what you’re saying.”
“Good.”
Remi got up and took the few steps over to where Roman stood. He held out his hand and Roman met him with his own.
Roman shook his hand, but didn’t release it when the handshake was over. He held on for a second while he looked Remi in the eye. “You’re fighting for your mate here. Kaiser just needs his friend. Don’t get the two confused.”