Chapter Five - CJ
CJ sat in the den, staring into space. He was aware of Diesel, Kaia, Bishop, Ryder, Ransom, and Dad’s presence, as shell-shocked as him.
Brooks didn’t know anything. Riley couldn’t find them. Mom, Reb, Axel, and Gunner vanished into thin air. Not to mention Lolly, Harley, and the rest of CJ’s aunts and girl cousins.
Dad considered the possibility that Bash had taken them, then dismissed the idea because it seemed as if they’d all met up and willingly left.
“Mom doesn’t like us anymore?” Ryder asked in a small voice, the question breaking through the interminable silence.
“She just loves Axel, Gunner, and Reb, Dad?” Ransom asked, sounding so pitiful.
A twinge of jealousy surged into CJ and he balled his hands into fists. At one time, he’d been Mom’s potato. She wouldn’t have made a move without him.
“Why have you been so mean to Mom, Dad?” Ryder said.
Dad appeared to have turned to stone. He didn’t flinch or move or respond. He sat in the chair Mom used during their family get-togethers, frozen.
“We should’ve went to school like she wanted,” Ransom said hoarsely, using the back of his hand to swipe at his wet cheeks. “We can’t even patch in to that stupid club yet!”
Nausea rose in CJ. Of course, Mom had left him. He’d made his choice and…and…deserted her.
A dial tone cut through the air, then the beeps of numbers pressed, before a call going through. Voicemail picked up immediately.
"Leave a message at the tone.”
At the sound of his mother’s voice, regret pooled inside CJ.
“Mom!” Ryder cried. “Come home! We’re sorry. We love you. We miss you. We’re sorry. We’ll go to school. Dad misses you, too.”
Wiping his runny nose, he hung up. “Call Ax, Ransom.”
“I have been, but he won’t answer. I’ve even called Reb, and apologized for all the times we were mean to her.”
Dad remained still; Diesel began tapping his foot.
“Call Ax, Diesel,” Ransom pleaded. “He’ll answer for you.” He swung his gaze to Kaia. “You call Rebel. She likes you. Please? We just want to beg them to tell Mom to come home.” Next, he focused on Bishop. “If she won’t answer Kaia, you call Reb.”
“No, stupid. That’ll be too much,” Ryder said. “We have to choose who Reb is most likely to answer.”
“Diesel,” CJ blurted, the first time he’d spoken in hours. “She, like Axel, will answer Diesel.”
“Rebel hates me.” Diesel sounded on the verge of…of something that wouldn’t be pretty. “You know I told her about Torie and me.”
That seemed like a lifetime ago instead of just a few days when CJ went to Rebel’s room and she’d been so devastated, vowing she’d never forgive Diesel. CJ had applauded both Diesel’s confession and Rebel’s decision. Now, he wished Diesel hadn’t said anything.
“You call Reb, Kaia,” Bishop said quietly. “Please.”
Kaia looked from Dad to Diesel and hesitated, then cleared his throat. “I’ve called her several times. It doesn’t go to voicemail like Mrs. Caldwell but she won’t pick up.”
Diesel dug out his cell phone and dialed. CJ shouldn’t have been surprised that he called Rebel instead of Axel.
“Rebel, answer this goddamn phone,” he growled. “Stop acting like a spoiled fucking brat.” He heaved in a breath. “Never mind. I should expect no less from a female. All of you are manipulators.”
CJ hoped Diesel’s tactic to anger Rebel produced results.
He disconnected, placed the phone on his knee and stared at it. Two minutes later, the phone rang.
Smiling and sagging in relief, Diesel hurriedly answered. “Reb—”
“It’s not the Blonde Viper,” Axel said in low tones.
“Axel!” Ryder and Ransom yelled, jumping to their feet and rushing to where Diesel sat. “We’re sorry! We love you—”
“Quiet, men!” Axel ordered. “Mom doesn’t know we made up. She wouldn’t have taken me. She would’ve thought I was on Dad’s side, not understanding that I learned my lesson when she froze us out the last time.”
“Where are you?” Diesel asked.
For the first time, Dad looked at the phone and a smidgeon of hope dented his fear. CJ understood.
“I don’t know,” Axel admitted. “And I wouldn’t tell you if I did. It’s so cool being the only guy here. Other than those bitch-ass babies, Gunner and Blade.”
“Tell Rebel to answer her phone,” Diesel said.
“Reb’s asleep and even if she was awake, we don’t got our regular phones. These are flames.”
CJ smiled. “Burners, big head.”
“Yeah, those.”
“What’s the name of the hotel you’re at?” Ransom asked.
“It’s a house.”
“Are any of our clothes there?” CJ asked.
“We didn’t take no clothes, C.,” Axel answered. “We got here and went shopping and Mom buyed me a bunch of new stuffs. Her, Rebel, and Gunner, too. We got a bunch of food and everything. She even bought me a new gaming console. I got my own room. It’s awesome.”
Pain streaked through CJ, and he thought he’d faint. It sounded as if Mom didn’t intend to return anytime soon, and he felt so fucking lost.
“Axel?” Dad called, haggard and devastated. “Put your ma on the phone.”
“Mom don’t know I’m calling, Dad. If I give her the phone, she will.”
“Son, please. I just need to…she need to listen to me.”
“Mom’s already sad. If you make her cry again—”
“I swear I ain’t—” Dad scrubbed a hand over his face and swallowed. “Axel—”
“You won’t even take her to the cabin. Mom said she’s taking me, Gunner, and Reb.”
Dad pressed his lips together. “I’ll give you a thousand dollars, Axel.”
“How?” Axel asked suspiciously. “You don’t know where to send it.”
“I’ll find a way.”
“You’re lucky I’m broke.” The sound of a door opening came through the line, then Axel’s little feet slapping the floor before another door creaked open. “Mom?” he called. “Mom, Dad wants to talk to you. MOM!”
“What’s the matter, Axel?” Mom called groggily.
Dad closed his eyes as if just hearing her was manna from heaven. Maybe, it was if it felt anywhere near CJ’s relief.
“It’s Dad.”
“You called Christopher?” Mom asked, sounding wide-awake.
“In a moment of weakness, I called my attorney.”
“Axel—”
“Megan,” Dad interrupted, “where you at?”
“Objection!” Axel called. “You said you wanted Mom to listen to you.”
Gritting his teeth, Dad began bouncing his knee. “Megan, come home, baby. I…please. Ima take you to a cabin to celebrate our anniversary. Anyfuckinwhere you wanna go. And you ain’t gotta get the surgery. Cancel it—”
After everything Dad told her, it made sense Mom scheduled the hysterectomy, but it still shocked CJ and made him feel even guiltier now that he had time to think about it.
“You the best ma, the best wife, any motherfucker could ask for—”
“Why didn’t you tell me about Rule, Christopher?” Mom demanded. “He’s my son, too. I had a right to know he jumped out of a window.”
“Megan—”
“You didn’t even tell me about the rectory burning down.”
“I been a motherfucker, baby. I’m so fuckin’ sorry for whatever I did you.”
“Dad knows he should’ve clued you in, Mom,” Ryder blurted, glaring at Dad. “We do, too. We’re sorry. Come home. We miss you. Please. We love you. We’ll cook and clean up with Bishop and Kaia to save you some work. And tell Axel we won’t ever put him out of our room again.”
“Just come home, Mom,” Ransom called. “I-I-I had another nightmare tonight. A bad one. I saw Nyx’s ghost—”
Ryder shoved Ransom at the blatant lie.
“Aunt Meggie?” Diesel called.
As much pain as CJ was in, he saw Diesel’s vulnerability and defeat. He couldn’t imagine how Diesel felt, given his history.
“Yes, son?”
“The house isn’t the same without you,” Diesel said. “It’s…our heart is gone. We’re so sorry for hurting you.”
“And taking you for granted,” Bishop called.
“I’ll work for free, Mrs. Caldwell,” Kaia said morosely. “And I-I’ll learn to mop.”
“Megan, baby, we all love you so fuckin’ much,” Dad said, “and you my fuckin’ world.
I lost my way a little fuckin’ bit and made you feel as if…
as if you ain’t my everything. Just cuz I expect you to know that don’t give me the fuckin’ right to treat you any kinda way.
Or blame you for shit that was my fault, too.
I just been so fuckin’ angry with you cuz of the way you changed.
And I wouldn’t give a fuck if you ain’t changed toward me, too.
But you my heart, my soul, and my conscience.
I need you. I need that. I need you to…to… ”
“To what?” she demanded. “Tell you not to kill? Convince you people shouldn’t die? Why? You know. Why should that matter when nothing else I say matters to you?”
“Everything you say matter, Megan,” Dad said woefully. “Just tell me what to do. I’m so fuckin’ lost right now.”
“Take care of your club, Christopher,” Mom said tiredly. “Show the boys the ropes without my interference.”
“No, Mom!” Ryder cried. “We don’t care about the club.” He swung his frantic gaze to CJ. “Tell her. Tell her you don’t want to join the club right now, CJ.”
He opened his mouth to speak those words. He wanted Mom home so badly, he wished he had the power to will her back. But just like when Dad threatened to kick him out, CJ felt as if his insides were caving in and his entire future had collapsed.
“Mom,” CJ started, his voice catching.
“It’s fine, son,” Mom said. “You were raised to be a part of the club and I’ve already told you that I expect nothing less from you.”
“Megan, baby, I shoulda told you about Rule,” Dad said before CJ found words to respond.
“And I…you know I ain’t givin’ Gunner and Jo away.
Just come home. If you want me to sleep outside for the rest of the year, forever, just please, baby, please.
Whatcha want me to do? Anything. Whatever the fuck it is. I love you. Please, come home.”
“I’ll think about it,” she said, and disconnected, leaving everyone in stunned silence.