Chapter 15b Kendall
Sitting at the kitchen counter after she placed the last of their dinner plates in the dishwasher and turned it on, Meggie’s mind whirled. Before she left, Gypsy offered a tearful apology, though Meggie was still too angry to accept it.
Gypsy knew how Meggie felt about her affair with Diesel, and she’d hurt Rebel by blurting what had happened. Rebel was suffering enough. She didn’t need a grown woman who didn’t have the sense God gave a bird, to poop on her feelings.
How dare Gypsy! Logically, Meggie knew Gypsy had been thinking out loud, her desperation to be number one in Derby’s life all-consuming.
But Meggie was tired of being logical. Where had that gotten her except overlooked and disrespected?
As angry as she was with Gypsy, she understood what drove her.
She’d gone to Rebel and found her outside in the garden with Mattie.
Rebel didn’t want to talk to Meggie, so she’d left the girls alone, came to her room to calm herself, and then returned to the dinner table.
As for Diesel, he was a grown man by the time he slept with Gypsy.
Had he been a grown man when he met Gypsy, Meggie still would’ve side-eyed the relationship.
Gypsy was Derby’s, no matter what he put her through.
And Diesel was big on aesthetics. Torie fit his type—a beautiful face and a beautiful figure.
Gypsy didn’t. Even if there was no Derby, Diesel would’ve kept her hidden and just used her for sex.
He would’ve completely destroyed what little self-esteem she had left.
But Diesel had been fifteen when Gypsy met him. A point Meggie couldn’t get over and lived in her brain every time she was confronted with their affair. It was as gross as the idea of Diesel and Rebel.
Meggie hadn’t talked to CJ about much lately, but she was almost certain he still wanted whatever Rebel wanted. If that was Diesel, then…
Wrinkling her nose, Meggie sighed. Hopefully, once Tabitha was no longer his wife, the new woman would end the possibility…
She shoved that thought aside, since she’d considered it earlier and decided to take a wait-and-pray attitude.
“Hey, sugar.”
At the sound of Roxy’s voice, Meggie glanced in the direction of the door that connected to the sunken dining room.
“Hey.”
Without a word, Roxy walked to Meggie and took her in her arms. Meggie held onto her and sobbed. Roxy had been more of a mother figure than Dinah had ever been.
“Get it all out, baby,” Roxy soothed. “It’s okay.”
“It isn’t,” she cried. “I miss him so much, but I just can’t…”
Roxy tightened her arms around Meggie. “Do you want to divorce Outlaw?”
“No! I want him to remember what I mean to him. I want him to show me respect so the guys will too.”
“And if he doesn’t? If this is your new normal?”
“I don’t know.” But she did, and the thought almost broke her. She couldn’t imagine life without Christopher.
“You do, sugar,” Roxy said gently, then dropped her arms and took Meggie’s face between her hands.
“You’re strong. You’re like your daddy in so many ways.
Able to make tough decisions. However, Outlaw is smart.
He’s going to remember this lesson. When you get back home, I think he’ll be willing to do anything you ask of him so you’ll never leave him again. ”
“He doesn’t want me to have the surgery.”
Irritation crossed Roxy’s face and she stepped back, then folded her arms. “What do you want, baby? It’s your body. You have the final say.”
Meggie hung her head. “My entire life is wrapped around my husband and my children. Everyone blames me for all the babies and forget the times when I didn’t want more children, but Christopher did.
Then Johnnie made me believe all that stuff about what Christopher did and didn’t want.
CJ was furious with me. I told Jordan I wanted my last pregnancy to be filled with good memories. We had an entire plan.”
“Plans change, sugar. You, more than anyone, should know that.”
“I do,” Meggie whispered. “But that’s just the point. I’m afraid to tell Christopher I would like a final pregnancy and then have my tubes tied during delivery. Or the hysterectomy if that’s possible. I’d love one more girl, so Jo would have a sister close in age to her.”
“If he doesn’t want you to have the hysterectomy, what’s the problem?”
Tears streaked Meggie’s cheeks. “C-C-Christopher w-wants to give away Jo and Gunner. He says I’m a b-b-bad mother.”
“That motherfucker said what?”
“It doesn’t matter—”
“It most certainly fucking does matter. What the fuck is wrong with that motherfucker?” Roxy began pacing. “I’m surprised the boys didn’t come with you under the circumstances. I know it was supposed to be a girls’ only escape, but their daddy was dead wrong.”
“I didn’t offer,” Meggie admitted. “I brought Axel because Ransom and Ryder are angry with him, and I didn’t want him to suffer at their hands.
” She placed her elbow in the palm of her hand.
“Diesel is always firmly aligned with Christopher. CJ has pulled away too. I didn’t want to put him in the middle, so I didn’t ask if he wanted to come. ”
“I’m sure you also didn’t want to put yourself through that emotional turmoil either. That boy was once your shadow.”
“He was,” Meggie croaked. “He belongs to his daddy now.”
“Unfortunately, if he’d had a different transition into the club, he might’ve realized it doesn’t have to be either/or.”
“I agree, but that didn’t happen, and I’ve finally accepted it.”
“Are you still having the surgery?”
“Yes. I-I took a pregnancy test the night we arrived, but it was negative. I’m not sure what I would’ve done had it been positive.”
“You would’ve aborted it?”
“Christopher thinks I’m a bad mother, Roxy. He might’ve taken the baby from me if I stayed. I either would’ve had to go into hiding to keep it or get rid of it to stay with him.”
“Do you really think he was serious?”
“He has apologized to me, but he isn’t himself. I can’t get through to him. He’s secretive. He lies by omission. He’s dismissive. He’s everything I swore I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, live with.”
“He isn’t abusive—”
“Unless you consider picking me up, shaking me, and then dropping me on the bed abusive, no, he isn’t.”
Roxy snapped her brows together and narrowed her eyes. “Did you beat his ass?”
“I’d just gotten through showing Kaia around. The evening I was released from the hospital.”
“The boys know about that and they still side with him?”
“No. It was before they came in.”
“Are you staying to see Rule or because Outlaw has lost his fucking mind?”
Meggie tipped her lips up in a small smile. “I want to see my son.”
“Okay, sugar. Let me make a suggestion.”
“I’m listening.”
“When we leave, you and Rebel should check into a hotel. As much of a sorry bitch Gypsy is, she’s right.
Outlaw will get it out of someone and come here to pressure you.
You need time to work through everything.
Take care of yourself and your daughter.
Shop. Sightsee. Heal. By the time you get back, Outlaw will be his old self.
At the very least, he won’t ever do what the fuck he did. ”
Meggie eyed Roxy suspiciously. “What are you going to do?” She still owned her knife and several guns. “You won’t cut him?”
“I want to visit him at the house and carve that motherfucker up like a turkey. However, seeing as how you still love him and don’t want him maimed, I’ll just put a fucking bug in his ear. Does Zoann know?”
“No one does.”
“That’ll change on the plane ride home.”
“Don’t, because she might take it out on Val.”
“Did he know?”
“No. Even if he did, what could he do?”
“Punch the fuck out of that motherfucker. As your brother-in-law, not a goddamn club member.”
“They walk a fine line.”
“You’re right, baby. Luckily, the women don’t suffer those limitations.” Roxy kissed Meggie’s cheek. “I’m going to check on Kendall.”
“She did have a lot of wine.”
“She did, sugar. If you need to talk, you know where to find me.”
“I do.”
“In another black and white motherfucking room,” Roxy said with disgust. “I don’t know what the fuck got into Bailey when she redecorated this place. It’s fucking ugly.”
“For what she paid for the furnishings, it could’ve been a little brighter,” Meggie said around a yawn.
“How much did she pay?”
“She sent Bunny a bill for two and a half million dollars after not allowing Bunny not a bit of say so. Bunny was so hurt.”
“Mortician allowed that bitch to do that?” Roxy asked in outrage.
“Mortician didn’t know and neither did Digger,” Meggie grouched. “Bunny and me talked about it. She didn’t want to come between them. However, she needed Digger to sign off on early access to their quarterly payments.”
“You gave her the money.”
“Yeah.”
Only Bunny and Kendall knew that Digger had stolen from her.
She wanted to cry all over again. At the time of Digger’s betrayal, Christopher hadn’t begun to disregard Meggie.
His behavior would’ve been a little more understandable and excusable.
She could’ve chalked it up to Digger following Christopher’s suit.
“Bailey knew you paid?”
“No. We got a cashier’s check.”
“What did Bailey do with the fucking money. Mortician paid for that heifer’s renovations. That money should’ve been his.”
“She donated it to charity. She took it to be petty, Roxy.”
“I’m so fucking sick of annoying bitches and brainless motherfuckers,” Roxy barked, and stomped out of the room.
Recently, Meggie had dealt with an abundance of both.
She thought of Gypsy again. Her anger was subsiding, although she still needed to put another bug in the woman’s ear. However, Meggie would fund Gypsy’s makeover.
Maybe Christopher could advise her…
Her thoughts crashed to a halt, and she rubbed her forehead.
Christopher was—
“Meggie?”
“What, Ophelia?”
Unlike Roxy, Ophelia came in from the opposite end, where a hallway led to the breakfast room.
“This is such a beautiful house. Do you know how many kitchens they have here?”