Chapter Forty-Six – CJ
CJ could not fucking believe the fuckery of his two fucking cousins. Uncle Johnnie? Fuck yeah. He even expected it from Ryan. But Ro? His actions infuriated and hurt CJ most of all. Why, he wasn’t sure. The motherfucker required a beating for helping Uncle Johnnie.
Once again remembering how he’d disobeyed his own father’s orders, CJ wanted to kick his own ass. Why hadn’t he realized Rory was a traitor on multiple fronts to protect that fuckhead?
Everything screeched to a fucking halt as he dragged those two squirming motherfuckers toward the conference room. He didn’t give a fuck. And if they’d taken a swing at him, or anyone tried to stop him, he would’ve stomped those fuckheads.
Guilt fueled his rage, which deepened his sense of betrayal. He felt like a fucking fool.
Grant rushed ahead to help CJ by opening all the necessary doors, first the club’s entrance door and then the one for the conference room.
Just like in the main room, everything went silent.
Until he shoved both those traitors away and Rory bounced against the edge of the fucking table while Ryan flew into the wall.
“Tell Outlaw,” he snarled. “You miserable fucking fuckheads.”
“CJ—” Ryan started.
CJ punched him in the fucking mouth. “Fuck you. You both knew what the fuck you were doing hiding that motherfucker in plain fucking sight,” he raged, blind and deaf in his fucking fury.
Words were white noise and people blurred in front of him. His focus were his cousins.
“How the fuck would you like Outlaw to bring a motherfucker here to fuck with your parents?” he demanded, glowering at Rory.
His cousin’s tears morphed into sobs. “Wait until I get my fucking hands on that motherfucker. Uncle Johnnie should fucking die. And you know what, Ro? If you went to DeLuca to get Molly back, that motherfucker could’ve gotten her back a long time ago. ”
Ryan choked.
“Guilty motherfucker,” CJ roared, charging him and slamming him into a fucking wall, knocking that motherfucker out. “You did it, didn’t you? You sent her the fuck away. You—”
A gunshot scared the fuck out of him and halted his intention to kick Ryan into oblivion.
Breathing heavily, he turned and stared at the gun in his father’s hand.
“Now, CJ—” He indicated the bulletproof vests with the barrel of the gun. “Suit the fuck up, calm the fuck down, and get yourself under fuckin’ control.”
“Dad…Outlaw, you don’t know—”
“Grant just clued me the fuck in. Let’s ride and get Molly. We gonna worry about everyfuckinthing else later.”
“I’m sorry, CJ—” Rory started.
CJ shook his head. “Protecting Uncle Johnnie because he’s a stupid motherfucker is one thing. Protecting him over my mom, when we both know how much he hates her, is unforgivable. DeLuca could’ve raped, kidnapped, or killed her. He could’ve killed Uncle Johnnie, my dad, any of the members.”
“I love my dad!” Rory spouted the same old tired song that CJ no longer gave a fuck about.
“Why?” CJ said viciously. “There’s nothing lovable about that raggedy motherfucker.”
“CJ—”
“Shut the fuck up, Rory, you stupid motherfucker. Don’t you fucking get it? Even if Bash and DeLuca aren’t motherfucking threats to Mom, John motherfucking Donovan is. He wants to fucking hurt her, and that, motherfucker, is unforgivable.”
“I’m sorry, CJ,” Rory cried. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
CJ kicked the chair, wishing it was Uncle Johnnie’s head. “Fuck you, Rory. Fuck you. Do you hear me?”
“I love you, CJ,” Rory said. “I’ve always admired you so much—”
CJ fucking hated the pity he felt toward Rory. The understanding of what motivated him to try and protect his father as much as CJ wanted to protect Mom. He didn’t want to understand. He didn’t want to pity him.
“I wouldn’t put it past Uncle Johnnie to have encouraged those motherfuckers to overdose me,” CJ said, exhausted suddenly.
Rory paled and he began shaking his head like that motherfucker was attached to a string pulled by a kid riding a sugar high. “No! I swear he didn’t. He wouldn’t go that far.”
CJ glared at the room at large, snatched the nearest vest, and stormed outside. He needed to calm himself. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t. As much fuckery as Ryan always did, CJ never thought Rory capable of the same thing.
Whether Ryan awakened and went with them or CJ would be the only one, Molly didn’t need a bunch of angry, emotional guys near her.
Fuck.
Angry and emotional.
He’d been living on anger and despair, and it kept coming out at the worst possible times. Or, in this case, the right fucking time.
CJ scrubbed a hand over his face and bent over, gripping his thighs and heaving in a breath. He loved Rory, too. He even liked Ryan nowadays and…why did it all have to be so complicated? Why did even this have a gray area? If this situation was black or white, it would be so much easier.
Like Rory, he’d hide shit too if it meant protecting Dad.
But suppose the shoe was on the other foot? Suppose Dad was a miserable, brainless, bitter fuckhead, who targeted Aunt Kendall? Wouldn’t Rory want CJ to do the right thing and protect her?
Fuck. Would CJ do the right thing? He’d turned his back on Mom too because Dad had asked.
Still doubled over, CJ covered his face.
“We’re about to head out.”
Diesel’s voice reached CJ through his misery.
Swallowing, CJ straightened and Diesel held out the key to his Mercedes. “Regular formation with the officers. You’ll be next in my car. If she’s there, she probably needs medical attention.”
CJ snatched the keys.
Diesel grabbed CJ in a bear hug. “I got you, little brother,” he whispered.
“I know.” CJ held onto his brother a moment longer, then released him. “I appreciate you.”
Diesel smiled then returned to the business at hand. “Is it okay if Ryan rides with you? Grant and Rory are taking one of the cars from the garage.”
CJ didn’t respond.
“She knows you and Ryan. One of you can sit in the back with her, while the other drives.”
“You’ll let Ryan drive your Benz?”
“I’d prefer it to be you, but I’ll let the two of you decide. This isn’t a situation to nitpick. It’s all hands on deck. If she’s there and alive, she’ll need us to be at our optimum.”
“You’re right.”
“I’m always right, motherfucker,” Diesel said, grinning.
CJ laughed despite his turmoil. “In your fucking dreams, fuckhead.”
Diesel clapped him on the back and headed to his bike.
A few minutes later, CJ sat behind the wheel of the Benz, impatient for the signal to open the gate, so they could start off.
He ignored Ryan in the passenger seat, his lip busted and caked with dried blood and his jaw swollen.
Neither bothered CJ in the least. His fucking head should’ve been broken.
The vibrations from all the bikes rocked the ground. It was an amazing feeling and even better, when they finally started moving. The earth shaking, the roar of the motorcycles as they turned onto the street music to CJ’s ears. The line of bikes was much more than Dad’s go-tos in these situations.
“I begged Johnnie,” Ryan finally croaked. “To get her back. He refused to help me.”
CJ didn’t want the sadness in Ryan’s voice to touch him, but it did. Fuck it all, Ryan had suffered in Molly’s absence, too. Her disappearance softened him, brought him closer to Uncle Val and Aunt Zoann. Closer to his brother and his cousins.
“Did you send her away?” CJ demanded.
“CJ—”
“It’s a yes or no fucking question.”
“No,” Ryan whispered.
“Then why the fuck would you go to Uncle Johnnie for help?”
“Because—”
“Shut the fuck up,” he snapped. “Him knowing Bash is a bullshit excuse. You knew that motherfucker, too, Ryan. The only goddamn reason you needed Uncle Johnnie’s help was if your fucking ass told Tom Harris where she was and Bash asked you if you were out of your motherfucking mind to flip the fucking script, so fuck you. ”
“CJ, I swear I wouldn’t do that to her.”
CJ gripped the steering wheel, so angry he barely saw the road in front of him. The sound of the bikes grounded him in reality. “I know you wouldn’t, but, motherfucker, you would do it to me.”
“I wouldn’t!”
“Not anymore. But a few weeks ago? She was expendable as long as you hurt me.”
“She was my girlfriend. A kind girl. She…she lost my baby. Her mom. I wouldn’t have hurt her like that.”
Why did he have to empathize with Ryan? The fuckhead brought most of his misery on himself.
Unfortunately, just like with Rory, CJ understood and believed Ryan.
Besides, he liked the friendship they were forging, so he relented and said, “Uncle Johnnie likes having shit over on people. Makes a little man feel big,” he muttered.
Ryan’s smile crinkled his eyes, although he winced. “Why the fuck you still call that asshole ‘uncle’?”
“Habit.”
“Manners, cuck.”
CJ snickered. “You could take a course and sharpen yours, motherfucker.”
Ryan flipped him off, then heaved in a breath. “We’ve got to save DeLuca, CJ. He helped us when our own uncle wouldn’t.”
Fuck. CJ was aware of that, too. “I know.”
“And don’t make Rory suffer. He wouldn’t put Aunt Meggie at risk.”
Debatable, but CJ let it go, since he’d already warred with himself over that very point. “I know who can save Easton, but you have to promise me, Ryan, if my mom’s in danger—if any of the girls and women in our lives are in danger—and you know, tell me or tell Outlaw.”
Ryan nodded. “I will.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“If you have any information, anything, about them, that might hurt them, speak up. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Ten minutes later, they reached the Linnet Motel. The parking lot was already crowded with bikes and police cruisers. Some of the brothers veered off in different directions to circle the building alongside law enforcement while a cop waved CJ in and pointed to a spot next to Dad’s bike.
As CJ and Ryan got out of the Mercedes, Grant and Rory pulled in behind them, rushed out of the car and jogged to where they stood.
Rory looked so pitiful, CJ couldn’t stand it, so he went to his cousin and held out his hand.
Smiling, Rory took it.
“We’ll talk later, Ro.”
Rory nodded as Grant craned his neck in all directions, taking in the controlled chaos.
Diesel walked up. “Cameras are disabled. Motel guests have been evacuated. Cops on payroll are here to cover our asses.”
“This is so fucking incredible,” Grant breathed, awed. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“Welcome to Outlaw’s world,” Diesel said proudly, then placed a hand on CJ’s shoulder. “We can’t have anything reported over the airways, so EMTs weren’t called in. Lewis is here, though.”
Lewis was their funeral home director. CJ sucked in a breath, but he nodded, having no choice.
“Outlaw and Mortician are going into the room now,” Diesel continued.
“I have to go—”
Diesel stopped CJ from going forward. He pointed to the other side of the building, where Narci stood with a rifle aimed toward the room Outlaw used the key to enter.
CJ felt as if his heart was in his throat as he waited for Dad or Uncle Mort to confirm if Bash had really brought Molly back. Time slowed to a torturous crawl. Thirty seconds felt like thirty minutes. His heartbeat rose in his ears and his mouth dried.
Uncle Val walked to Ryan and settled his arm around his shoulders.
“What’s taking so long, Pops?” Ryan croaked.
Uncle Val shrugged, his only answer.
Finally, Uncle Mort walked out, his mouth set in a grim line. He headed over. “Easton…DeLuca? He’s fucking shot. Barely clinging to life.”
Rory closed his eyes and Ryan turned to Uncle Val, shuddering.
Dad walked out.
Carrying Molly.