Chapter Four #2
One reason she’d refused to wait until her sixteenth birthday so Diesel could take her on her first date was because she knew how he slept around.
He was notorious amongst the club girls.
After her confrontation with Diana over Diesel, Rebel started asking the biker girls about him.
He loved rough sex and having his cock sucked.
According to rumors circulating amongst the girls, Diesel was addicted to sex. Fia claimed Diesel played with his nose, too, although Rebel never saw evidence he used coke.
Then, she had to contend with Tabi Cat, his wife. There was no love lost between them. What she couldn’t countenance was him sleeping with a woman hell-bent on destroying their family.
A body slammed into her, and she crashed to the ground, momentarily knocking the wind from her.
Diesel’s scent surrounded her, and his erection pressed into her butt, singeing her even through the combined layers of their clothes. He nuzzled her neck, his breath sawing in and out of his lungs and tickling her skin .
Tears streaked her cheeks, the thought of Diesel and Torie more devastating than the knowledge that he’d slept with most of the club girls.
As much as Rebel disliked that idea, she couldn’t put her foot down and demand he stop.
They weren’t romantically involved. But Torie ?
She’d humiliated Rebel and helped to foster the mistrust she now felt toward her father.
Torie tried to ruin her parents’ marriage and run her mother away. All of which Diesel knew, and still he’d had sex with her?
“I never slept with Torie,” he crooned as if he read her mind. The alcohol he’d drank still affected his words. “But if I did, it would have no bearing on you or our family. Us .”
Rebel held herself still, panting from the exertion of her run and Diesel’s tackle. Diesel himself. He would feel as if it shouldn’t matter that he’d slept with Torie. He didn’t get it. He didn’t appreciate anything but what he wanted.
Whatever breakdown drove him to seek Rebel out and want sex from her had the potential for catastrophic consequences. His life forfeited.
Her father was home. She could only get away with interfering with signals for so long under those circumstances. Besides, she wasn’t the expert like Mattie and Ryan. If Daddy realized she’d disrupted the alerts and the alarm, he’d search for her. He knew she was the only one who did such a thing.
He’d find her with Diesel and…
Kill him .
Torie’s death might not have mattered to her, but Diesel’s would.
There was also herself . She didn’t know how to stop babies, and she was terrified of pregnancy.
The obvious reason—Daddy’s wrath—factored in.
It went so much deeper, though. Rebel was afraid of pregnancy .
Of being pregnant. She feared dying like Momma almost had.
She feared losing her baby as she’d almost lost her little sister.
And what about Diesel and her relationship with him? However he wanted to classify it—familial as sister and brother, forbidden as secret lovers—he was currently drunk and vulnerable and she fucking refused to serve as an easy escape, then tomorrow when he sobered, a shameful mistake.
He bit her earlobe. Sniffed her skin. “You smell so fucking good. I’ll bet your pussy tastes delicious. Sweet .”
“Get off me, Diesel,” she said as evenly as possible. “My clothes will be ruined by grass stains.”
He complied, then held out his hand and helped her to her feet.
She stared at him, wishing she were older or he was younger.
He was so handsome with his strong jaw, defined cheekbones, straight nose, and full lips.
Long lashes ringed beautiful gray eyes. Over the years, she’d seen them sparkle from moments of happiness, but mostly sadness gleamed in them.
His mother’s long ago desertion haunted him. Rebel couldn’t imagine the effect that had on his psyche. Nor could she understand how he blamed his mom for leaving when his father also abandoned him six months later.
She searched her mind for a safe topic, something to remove the charge between them.
“You were out here when I arrived, weren’t you?”
A smile tipped his lips up. “Yes.”
“You’re an asshole for not revealing yourself immediately. I was starting to freeze.”
“Watching you cleared the horror from my mind.”
“Watching me from behind a tree or while I’m asleep without my knowledge is creepy.”
“I never claimed to be a gentleman.”
“You’re perfect not being a gentleman. What I don’t like is you being a fucking creep.”
“You aren’t flattered I chose to come to you? ”
“Be so fucking for real.”
He was. She saw it in his face even before he said, “I am.”
“Come to me when you’re sober than I’ll tell you.”
“Most chicks fall at my feet. They don’t ask me questions. They don’t push me away. They take me on my terms.”
“Good for you, fucked for them. I don’t want what most chicks have with you or someone else. I want a relationship like Momma’s and Daddy’s. Despite how he fucked up, he loves my mother.”
“You say that now because he killed Torie.”
“Remarkably redeemable when a man kills for his woman.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Aunt Meggie and Uncle Christopher have a special relationship. Unique. You can’t base yours off theirs.”
“The fuck I can’t. If they had a bad marriage, I’d say I don’t want that type of relationship. Everyone would applaud that logic. I sure the fuck can say the opposite.”
Clenching his jaw, he glanced away.
“Can I ask you something?”
He sighed. “What, Rebel?”
“If you didn’t sleep with Torie, why are you so upset that she was killed?”
“I hung around the club for a few minutes after Uncle Christopher left. I was waiting for Tabitha,” he said, ignoring her question.
“There was no more speculation about Outlaw’s relationship with Torie.
No snide comments about Aunt Meggie’s misplaced trust. Silence fell over the entire clubhouse.
Uncle Christopher had no empathy. No sympathy.
Afterwards, he walked over her body with zero remorse.
What would become of us if Aunt Meggie ever got tired and walked away?
He’d kill with impunity. She holds him accountable.
Gives him a conscience.” He looked at her. “What happens to me if I fuck up?”
“Have you fucked up?”
“I’m out here with you.”
“Less egregious than being in my room.”
He tugged her into his arms.
Appreciating the warmth of his body, Rebel snuggled against him. He chuckled, opened his jacket, and pressed her closer so the leather shielded her sides. She felt safe wrapped in his embrace. Desire flared inside her.
She didn’t trust Diesel, though. She was learning there was a lot of ugliness underneath his beautiful facade.
“Get inside, Rebel.”
Not only did her twin’s voice startle her, but Rule’s harsh tone alarmed her. She jerked out of Diesel’s embrace and turned.
“It isn’t what you think, brother,” she said, walking closer to him. “Diesel hasn’t done anything wrong, so you don’t have to tell Daddy.”
Hatred brimmed in Rule’s eyes. “You’re a fucking whore,” he spat, too low for Diesel to hear. “Not only do you look like that Jezebel, but you act like her, too.”
Rebel recoiled.
Diesel stepped next to her and grabbed her elbow. “I need to sleep,” he slurred.
“You’re in no condition to drive, Diesel,” Rebel said, still reeling from Rule’s accusations.
Nothing but misery and regret rose inside her.
Rule’s derision came without warning, too swift to try and course correct.
Maybe she’d called him a name. She didn’t suffer fools, even those she shared blood with.
Maybe she’d smacked him or defended herself when Rule aligned with the Terrible Triplets, their younger brothers staggered in age and height but consolidated in mayhem.
She threw her arms around Rule’s neck. “I love you. Whatever I’ve done, forgive me. Please. I love you so much and I miss you.”
He forced her arms away and glared at her. “You’re filthy. Unclean. You don’t care how you tempt men.”
“My thought exactly,” Diesel muttered.
Coming from him was bad enough, but Rule looked at the situation on another level and in a different way. He saw her as a walking sin, a holy abomination. Diesel just saw her as pure temptation, accepting no responsibility for his role in fostering their flirtations.
The only guys who never failed to defend her or protect her were Daddy and CJ. Boys overran their family. She had only two biological female cousins in Mattie and Winona. Even when she included Harley Banks, Brynn Mason, and Ava Baptiste, the male-female ratio fell short.
Early on, Rebel learned to fight back either with words or fists. Momma couldn’t physically fight. Rebel couldn’t remember her mother ever throwing hands, but she put people in their places and had a distinct kind of strength.
Self-worth. She valued herself. It made it so much easier to value others, walk through life with genuine kindness and a demand to receive the respect she afforded everyone.
Folding her arms, Rebel lifted her chin and met her twin’s hard gaze.
“I did nothing wrong, Rule. If you believe otherwise, fuck you. What you aren’t doing is shaming my desire now or ever. It’s my body and if I want to fuck a battalion of motherfuckers, it’s also my soul.”
“And their fucking asses,” Diesel snarled.
“Oh, my God. You’re both such dickheads. Good night. I hope the bed bugs bite.”
She hoped those motherfuckers ate those assholes alive.