Chapter 6
TWO DAYS LATER
BISHOP
The sun is just starting to set as I pull into the Hawkeye Club and park in the area reserved for the Hawkes.
All the other spots are empty.
As they should be.
Everyone else is enjoying a night off. A break away from daily stress of their jobs and the uncertainty that continues to surround us.
I could have gone to Mom and Dad’s place instead of staying at home alone. Dad’s invitation to come have some of his famous jerk chicken with them, Pope, Allie, and Benjamin was tempting.
But ultimately, I just couldn’t do it.
No matter how much I hyped myself up, I couldn’t go and be the fifth wheel again.
I couldn’t bring myself to show up, sit with them around that table, watch how happy they are together despite the fact that at any moment, Satriano could make good on his warning that he would be seeing us soon.
At any moment, Michael McDonald could surface with a bang.
Days have turned into weeks since we first learned of his arrival in New Orleans, yet we’re no closer to discovering where he is or what he’s doing here.
And everyone else just goes on with their lives as if living under this cloud is normal.
Like it doesn’t keep them awake at night the way it does me.
So I couldn’t go there tonight. I couldn’t sit and pretend. But I also couldn’t spend the night on my couch, either.
Because you can’t take a night off.
You’ve never been able to.
Even before Leonardo Satriano appeared in New Orleans all those years ago and fucked up our lives by coming after Jack, I always found myself restless on my nights off.
Unable to relax to read or watch a movie like a normal person would.
I couldn’t last more than an hour before I’d find myself driving to one of the clubs to just feel…useful.
And since the other Satriano arrived, it’s only gotten worse.
Most nights, I don’t even last ten minutes.
Tonight, it was more like five. Five damn minutes after I got back to my place after meeting with Gabe and Dad to discuss the current status of our investigations, I was changing and turning around to come here and have a drink at the bar.
Anything but champagne…
Satriano’s “gift” and note continue to keep me awake at night as much as the nightmares do. There was no way I would have slept tonight even if I had stayed in.
So, I might as well be here.
I sigh at the absurdity of my life lately.
How I’ve become this machine that doesn’t sleep, barely interacts with anyone other than those I need to for work, and only thinks about one thing—what it will take to remove that fucker Damon from the face of the earth without bringing down the might of his entire organization on us in retaliation.
Of course, that would require finding him first.
So, one baby step at a time.
But those baby steps are becoming agonizing.
I turn off the engine, open the door, and step out onto the familiar pavement. Though it finally stopped raining last night, the scent of it still lingers in the air and clings to the grass surrounding the club. I inhale deeply, pulling it into my lungs and holding it there for a moment.
That fresh, clean smell carries so many good memories with it.
Ones I so desperately need now of easier times.
When we weren’t always on edge. When I wasn’t living every moment wondering when the other shoe would drop and trusted the people in my life would protect me from the dangers of the world beyond our little bubble.
Splashing in puddles with Pope…
Dancing in the rain with Astrid, Kennedy, Angie, and Allie…
A smile pulls at my lips remembering how muddy we would be when we walked back inside.
But we never got yelled at for it. There were never any reprimands for destroying our clothes or dripping water across the floors of the various Hawke houses.
If anything, it made everyone happy to see us so carefree.
They lived to give us that feeling, to have childhoods free from the tragedy and strife they all suffered at some point in their own lives.
I can’t even remember the last time I felt like that.
Well before either Satriano arrived.
Maybe before Dad accepted that I wasn’t going away to college and wanted to stay here and work with him instead.
Before he showed me what protecting the Hawke empire truly required.
Before I took some of that burden off his shoulders.
Because before that, I was still living in ignorant bliss about all the threats.
They may have primarily been from business rivals back then rather than mob bosses, but they still existed. And now, there’s no going back to that time or place when I could relax and just enjoy life without the constant worry for everyone around me plaguing me at every moment.
No matter how badly I may want that for all of us.
Releasing the breath burning in my lungs now, I turn toward the building, intent to grab a drink, chat with the staff, and keep an eye out for any troublemakers so it feels like I’m at least doing something.
But the rumble of a motorcycle engine approaches, growing louder until a Harley pulls into the lot. Even before it rolls up behind my SUV, I recognize the bike and the black leather jacket stretched across the shoulders of the man on it.
Gage tugs off his helmet and shakes out his sandy-blond hair, offering me a grin and a heated assessment that might as well be a flashing neon sign that says “pin me.” Apparently, my request the other morning was for naught because this man has zero intention of stopping that look. “Bishop…”
Hell…
The way he says my name only makes it worse.
Smooth.
Sexual.
Like he’s making love to the word the same way he would my body if I let him get his hands on me.
I tense as he shuts off the engine, anticipating his approach and the way my body will inevitably react to his proximity. Because as much as I try to deny it to myself, there’s something about this man that drives me mad—in the worst and best ways.
The quiet that settles over us makes me hyper aware of how still the night is. No cars passing on the road. No patrons coming out from the club. Just the two of us staring each other down in a parking lot, waiting for the other to make a move.
Self-preservation finally wins.
“Remember that word I used to describe you?”
Another panty-melting grin spreads across his face. “This is just a happy coincidence. I was hoping you’d be here.”
Coincidence.
One of the reasons I’ve never believed in them is because people use that word to cover up calculated moves. But then again, the chances he would find me here are pretty high considering how much time I spend at the club.
Forcing myself to give someone like Gage Newhart the benefit of the doubt is painful when I’ve spent my whole life being taught to question everything and never accept things at face value.
It’s the only way to protect what we’ve built and bled for.
I don’t know what game Gage is playing, or if he truly is only inserting himself into my life because he’s interested in me.
The more I try to dig into his background and military record, the more roadblocks I hit. But there’s some part of me that’s curious. A part that needs to know what he really wants. That part that can’t deny my attraction to him.
“Why were you hoping to see me?”
He leans against the handlebars, a spark of mischief flashing in his blue eyes. “Because I want to take you somewhere.”
The idea of going anywhere with Gage is equal parts thrilling and terrifying. Little girls learn at a very young age not to trust strangers, to never go anywhere with one, and I’ve always been the most skeptical of the Hawkes when it comes to earning trust.
But there’s just something about this man that draws me to him.
Not because I trust him.
Not because he’s impossibly handsome.
Definitely not because he’s a shameless flirt who often crosses the line of what’s socially appropriate.
It’s the instinct to keep him close—that it’s somehow important that I do.
He’s either completely genuine and the first man I’ve actually been interested in for a very long time, or he’s a talented conman with an ulterior motive I haven’t uncovered yet.
Friends close and enemies closer…
I raise a brow at him. “Where do you want to take me?”
He grins, waggling his eyebrows playfully. “It’s a surprise.”
Everything about this man is.
Each time I learn something new, it gives me another piece to the very messy puzzle. I don’t have enough to create a clear picture yet, but if I go with him tonight, that may change.
I may actually discover what it is Gage Newhart really wants, but I am not above making him work for it. “I’m not a big fan of surprises.”
He chuckles low and shakes his head, sending the silky blond strands falling over his forehead. “Somehow, I knew that, but I think you’ll like this one.” His gaze sweeps to the front door of the club. “Do you have to go in tonight?”
“No.”
His grin grows, and he holds out a hand, palm up. “Then let’s go.”
It would be easy enough to say no. To just walk away and return to my original evening plans of sitting at the bar.
But with his eyes locked on me like this and his hand extended in offer, climbing on the back of his bike and discovering what Gage Newhart has in store for me—and maybe what his ultimate goal is—is far too tempting to ignore.
I approach him cautiously and slide my hand into his.
Rough callouses scrape against my skin, sending a little jolt of heat searing through me, awakening something I long ago buried.
Something I’ve ignored and actively pushed away.
Something I’ve refused to allow myself because I know it can never happen.
There isn’t any room in my life for what everyone else has.
My focus can’t be pulled away from protecting the people important to me.
I can’t have a relationship beyond a few fun hours with someone.
So this longing has to go.