Chapter 3 #3
We stood together in silence, both of us staring at that distant orange smear on the horizon where our dead were still burning.
The silence between us wasn’t uncomfortable.
It never was with her. There was something about Alyssa that made me feel like I didn’t have to perform, didn’t have to be the alpha or the leader or the one with all the answers. I could just... be.
“I can’t face him,” I admitted finally. The words came out rough, dragged from somewhere deep and shameful. “Damon. Every time I look at him, I don’t know if it’s him looking back. I don’t know if I’m talking to my brother or to that thing wearing his face.”
Alyssa didn’t judge. Didn’t tell me I was wrong or weak or failing in my duties as an alpha. She just nodded slowly, her eyes still fixed on the horizon.
“I understand,” she said quietly. And I knew she did. She understood avoidance. Understood the terror of facing something that might break you. “But Dean... he needs his brothers right now. Not an alpha. Just his brothers.”
“What if I can’t tell the difference anymore?” The question came out raw, more vulnerable than I’d intended. “Between being his brother and being an alpha. What if I’ve forgotten how to be just Dean?”
She finally turned to look at me. In the dim light, her eyes were dark pools of exhaustion and grief and something fiercer underneath. Something that refused to give up, no matter how much the world threw at her.
“Then you need to figure it out,” she said. “Or at least try. He’s still in there, Dean. I have to believe that. This can’t have all been for nothing. And if he is in there, then he needs to know his brothers haven’t given up on him.”
I let out a breath. She was right. She usually was.
“The bite,” I started, changing the subject because I wasn’t ready to promise something I didn’t know if I could deliver. “Ryder’s idea. What do you think about it?”
“What do you think?”
I was quiet for a long moment, turning it over in my mind. The risks. The possibilities. The fact that doing nothing was just as much a choice as doing something, and probably the wrong one.
“I think it might be the only way,” I finally said. “Damon’s not going to sit around waiting for that thing to take over completely. He’ll end it himself before he lets that happen.” I swallowed hard. “And if the bite doesn’t work... if it makes the nightmare stronger instead of weaker...”
“Then what?”
I looked at her. Made myself say the words out loud so they became real, so I couldn’t take them back.
“Then I’ll kill whatever’s inside my brother. Even if it means killing Damon too. As long as the bite doesn’t make that thing stronger, it seems like our only option.” My jaw tightened. “Consequences be damned.”
The vow settled into my bones, heavy and final. My wolf didn’t protest. He understood, in his simple way. Sometimes protecting the pack meant making impossible choices. Sometimes love meant being willing to do the hardest thing. And if it was going to be any of us, it had to be me.
Alyssa reached out and touched my arm. The contact sent warmth spreading through my chest, the bond between us flaring bright and steady.
“You’re a good brother, Dean. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.” Her voice was soft but certain. “You care with everything you have. That’s all anyone can ask for.”
I didn’t know if I believed her. But I wanted to. Gods, I wanted to.
Without thinking, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her against my side.
She came willingly, leaning into me, her body warm and solid against mine.
For a moment we just stood there together, two broken people holding each other up, watching the pyres burn themselves out in the distance.
A warm feeling of contentment filled me.
It came from the wolf, but it came from me too.
Despite everything. Despite the blood and the danger and the impossible odds stacked against us.
Despite the fact that I didn’t know if I could save my brother or protect the woman I loved or be the leader everyone needed me to be.
We were building something here. Something real. Something with Alyssa at the centre of it, holding us all together. And whatever came next, be it Arik, the nightmare, the war that was coming, we’d face it together.
Arik didn’t stand a chance.
Because there was nothing I would let stand in the way of giving her everything she could ever want. Nothing I wouldn’t cut down, nothing I wouldn’t destroy. I’d burn the whole realm to ash and salt the earth behind me if that’s what it took to keep her safe, to give her the life she deserved.
I’d do anything for her. Anything.
I pulled Alyssa closer and pressed a soft kiss to the side of her head, breathing in the scent of her hair.
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to.
We stood there together as the last of the pyres flickered and died, and for the first time since the battle, I felt something other than guilt and rage and suffocating fear.
I felt hope.