11. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Alyssa
W aking up in a bed with Ryder and Tank should have filled me with comfort and contentment. Instead, all I could think about was why Dean and Maddox had left. When did I become so reliant on them? I used to be happy to be alone. Alone in the shell I’d created for myself. But the more time I spent with these men, the more I relied on them. And it was more than that, because it was now almost impossible to think of my life without them in it.
It was the mating bond. I knew it was. This was supposed to happen to a fae when they came across someone who was supposed to share their fate. Yet, our culture had changed to where we were discouraged to forge soul bonds between each other. The widow was the bedtime story we told all our children about the danger of relying too heavily on another. But the bond I shared with Tank had to be the cause of the Spring Palace accepting him as my king, which raised a question—had my parents been soul-bonded? And if so, why would they never have told me that?
My head was filled with questions as I blindly wandered into the sitting area, finding Dean and Maddox quietly talking to each other. I was about to turn back around and leave, thinking they’d left to be alone and I wasn’t welcome there.
As soon as I turned, Dean’s arms wrapped around my waist and I found myself being pulled down into his lap.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he murmured into my neck, running his nose along the length as he inhaled my scent. It had the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end, and I had to stop myself from tipping my head to the side, inviting him to place his mark wherever he saw fit.
Damn, the wolf had done nothing but make this man sexier!
“I didn’t want to interrupt,” I started, then flushed with embarrassment at how awkward I felt. This was my palace after all, even if it felt strange to be back in the rooms which had once been my parents.
“You’re not interrupting. We were just talking about our next steps. How we’re going to get enough information about this world that we won’t just be stumbling from one problem to the next,” Maddox told me, smiling at how I snuggled in to get comfortable in Dean’s arms.
I was here now. I might as well make the most of it.
“Have I mentioned how pretty these are?” Dean asked, gently trailing his fingertips across the royal mark that I had tattooed across my neck and shoulder.
My toes curled as he followed the caress with his lips, totally uncaring of who else was in the room.
Maddox just watched with a grin on his face, but I caught the way his grip tightened on the arms of his chair.
I felt Tank’s kiss against the top of my head before I’d even realised that he’d followed me out of the bedroom. “We need to get you some food as well.”
I cleared my throat, hoping my head would follow. “Well, information I can help with, but food we’re going to have to go in search of.” I went to stand, but Dean just held me tighter. “You’re going to need to release me, I’m afraid.”
He growled, settling back in his seat and pulling me with him. “Not yet. I didn’t get cuddles last night, so I’m calling in my time now.”
“Oh really. Your time?” I laughed, grateful that even if just for a moment, we could have some time that wasn’t about fighting and running for our lives.
“Yeah, I might need it to help me heal and shit.”
“I hope you’re not thinking about shitting right there. That chair looks all kinds of fancy,” Ryder quipped as he walked out of the bedroom.
Like Tank, he strode to my side and kissed the top of my head. It was an act of familiarity that I wasn’t used to yet. Something between us all had changed. It was a level of comfort and acceptance that hadn’t been there before. I couldn’t say I hated it, though.
Dean grumbled at Ryder, but while I was still sitting in his lap, he seemed happy to be the reluctant butt of the joke.
“We should probably check out that wound of yours before we do anything,” I said, hoping to get us back on track and away from the idea of just spending the day snuggling with my mates, which was quickly forming in my mind.
“No need,” Dean mumbled. His fingers had threaded through my admittedly quite gross hair and were playing with the lengths. “I’m fine.”
“Considering that you would have told me you were fine as a knife was being wrenched out of your gut, you’ll have to excuse me for not being completely happy to take your word on that.”
“Are you questioning me?” The smirk on his face had my lower stomach tightening. That idea of snuggling was morphing into all manner of different things.
“She has a valid point,” Ryder said, finding a chair of his own. He gave me a strange look, and I realised that me sitting here in Dean’s lap probably looked a bit weird.
Which made me think we might need to address some things that were growing between us.
Yey, awkward conversations. What better way was there to start the day?
“So… yesterday was… a lot.” Definitely not winning any awards for this, but hopefully someone would take pity on me soon.
The awkward tension was a bit more than I could take, so I shuffled forward on Dean’s lap to give myself space to examine his side. It wasn’t an easy task. Apparently Dean’s wolf was a cuddly fucker.
Eventually, I’d freed myself enough to run my fingers over his bare torso and once he felt that, he was more than happy to give me room so I could explore his body. I might have got a little distracted over his abs, but I eventually made it to the pink puckered scar on his side.
“Incredible. This scar will probably fade over time as well,” I said, more to myself than anyone. When I looked up, it was to find Dean’s smirk right in my face. “What?”
“I’m just enjoying you calling me ‘incredible’.”
I wanted to argue that wasn’t what I’d said, but when I thought about it, technically, he was right. Infuriating, to say the least. But credit where credit was due, this level of healing was something I’d never seen without some sort of intervention before.
“Do you all feel the magic?” I asked. When they looked at me in confusion, I remembered that we’d not actually talked about this last night. “You all contain more magic than… well, anyone else I’ve ever encountered. Shifters have a latent amount, but nothing like what you hold inside. It’s completely unprecedented, as far as I’m aware.”
“I don’t really feel any different,” Tank admitted. “No. Maybe?” Tank’s forehead crumpled in confusion as he thought about it.
“Well, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel, just that it’s really fucking cool,” Ryder added. “The wolf is there, at the edges of my mind, and I can feel him growing closer.”
“You see, that right there shouldn’t be possible,” I pointed out. “You shouldn’t have any awareness of your animals at all. Not until the full moon, which should be in a couple of days, by the way. Yet you’re already acting like you’re shifters. Hell, Maddox has even shifted, which I can’t wrap my brain around, not to mention the…”
My voice trailed off as I thought back to the wall of fire. It was a display of elemental magic and one that I’d seen before, albeit on a much smaller level. It was then that I looked at Dean, who was the closest to me, considering that I was sitting in his lap still.
“Do you mind?” I asked him, holding up my hand close to his cheek.
“You don’t have to keep asking me that,” he murmured, entwining his fingers with mine as he held my hand against his face. “The answer is always going to be no.”
I didn’t have to reach out to look for it this time. Instead, the magic rushed into me almost like the last time I’d shown it the way. Dean gasped in surprise at the sudden rush of energy and then, as he let his breath out, it came in a hazy fog of cold.
“That’s different.” Maddox shuffled to the edge of his seat as he watched intently. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. I didn’t have to reach this time. Dean’s magic reached for me.”
It was exactly what I’d thought through—wild, elemental, essentially everything that Nymeria was made to be.
But if Maddox wielded fire and Dean could do something with the cold, the implication and the conclusion that screamed in my mind were impossible.
These were summer and winter traits.
My gaze cut to the other two men sitting with us. The other two men who held my obsession.
Four men.
Four courts.
Something was happening here and we needed more information about it.
“Ugh, fuck.” I sighed, sinking back against Dean’s side, ignoring his chuckle of amusement. “We need to talk to Fizzle.”
“And that’s another problem we need to talk about.” Maddox sighed, but the look on his face was anything but weary. If anything, he looked pissed.
I got it. Fizzle was an issue I didn’t want to deal with, so I could see why the guys were even more reluctant. They didn’t have the history that we did. Although, maybe that made it easier. It was less of a betrayal when you didn’t have the background we had.
With a sigh, I reluctantly saw this from a different angle. I hadn’t been here, and I hadn’t lived through whatever happened after the Spring Court massacre. I’d run, and I’d left them. But Fizzle had been here to pick up the pieces. To witness horror after horror, he found a way to fight back. Rhidian had given that to him. So maybe I owed it to Rhidian to hear him out. Maybe I owed it to them all.
“You okay?” Dean asked, his arms squeezing around my waist to remind me he was there.
“Yeah… I… I think I need to do this alone. Do you mind?” I looked around at all of them as I asked.
Tank looked proud. Even Maddox and Ryder looked like they understood where I was coming from. Only Dean grumbled and bitched, but it might have been more because I slowly extracted his arms from around me and climbed off his lap.
I could tell they all had something they wanted to say, and I was grateful they were holding off. The first opportunity they gave me to chicken out of this, I’d take. Part of me wanted to run. Hell, I’d been doing it for years. It was second nature to me now. But I couldn’t keep doing that. I’d seen the consequences of my actions now. I couldn’t pretend it had all been for the best anymore. No one had benefited from this but me, and I didn’t know how I’d live with that in the long run.
I was already looking at the door to our suite when the knocking came. The guys looked between each other and then Maddox stood, striding to the door to open it. Once he glanced out into the hallway, he opened the door wider and Fizzle swooped inside, followed by Rhidian, who was carrying a tray of food.
“We don’t have much, but I figured you guys were hungry.” He took a pack off his shoulder and passed it to Maddox. “There're fresh clothes and things in there for you as well. None of you came for medical supplies last night, so I assumed you didn’t need them.”
Maddox nodded, not saying anything about what we’d discovered about Dean and the rest of them. It was the right move. We didn’t understand what was happening between us, and I’d grown up hearing that unusual magic in Nymeria did nothing but put a target on your back. They needed to learn how to use what they had first, how to fight back. Everything they’d learned back in the human realm was nothing compared to the creatures and the magic that would target them here. The fae may be weakening, but they could still inflict enough damage to take your life. With the animals they’d soon have better control over, and whatever the hell magic they seemed to have acquired, they actually stood a chance of surviving this place now. If I could buy them enough time.
“We’re good for now,” I added, drawing Rhidian’s attention to me. “So, I guess now is when you lay your cards on the table and I decide if I’m going to kick you out of my house or not.”
Rhidian laughed. Then he saw the look on my face. “Wait. You’re not actually serious. These people have nowhere else to go, Alyssa.”
“I didn’t say them. I said you, Rhidian. From where I’m standing, you took us hostage, marched us here under threat of harm, intending to force a throne on me I never asked for. You’ve both conspired against me, manipulated me, and you continue to hide the truth from me.” I could feel the anger building inside me the more I spoke. The magic vibrating with a fury that matched my own. “This is your one chance. Tell me everything, and I swear if I even suspect you’re hiding a single piece of information from me, I won’t be throwing your ass out the door, Rhidian, because there won’t be enough of you left for me to do it.”
Rhidian grinned. It wasn’t exactly the response I was expecting. “I missed you, Lyss. It’s good to see you’ve still got that fire inside you.” Then he looked around the room at my guys, at Fizzle, eventually his gaze staring out the window at the cloudless sky outside. “You’re going to need it.”
Fizzle landed on my shoulder as Rhidian strode to the window. He didn’t turn around or say anything else and it was only Fizzle’s claws digging into my shoulder that drew my attention away from him.
“He’s been through a lot, Alyssa. But you’re right, it’s time we told you everything. You need to know what your role is going to be in what’s coming.” I’d only heard Fizzle sound like this once before, and it was when he’d told me I had to leave Nymeria. That it was the only way to save me and everyone else.
I wanted to back out, and I was ashamed of it. Instead, I forced myself to stand firm. I knew this was going to hurt. Rhidian never had been able to stand by and watch someone suffer.
“You weren’t born here.” Fizzle’s voice bounced around my head as I let the truth sink in. “You are not of the Spring Court, Alyssa.”
“They weren’t my parents?” My voice echoed with the hollow quality of a person who didn’t really want the answer to their question, but I needed it nevertheless. I needed to hear him say it.
“No.” Fizzle leapt from my shoulder, gliding down to the coffee table and turning so he could look me in the face as he continued. “They loved you, Alyssa. Never doubt that. But they weren’t your birth parents. I knew they would care for you, that they would love you like their own.”
“Go on.” A pit of dread was forming in my stomach. This was going to be so much worse than I’d first thought.
“You are a child of Nymeria, Alyssa.”
I huffed in annoyance. “We’re all children of Nymeria, Fizzle. But I want to know who my actual parents were. Clearly, you were the one to give me to them, so you have to know where I came from.”
It seemed almost unreasonable to be annoyed with him, but I was tired of how Fizzle never really told me the whole truth about anything.
“Yes, I was the one who brought you here, but you’re not listening to what I’m telling you, Alyssa. You. Are. A. Child. Of. Nymeria. ”
I was just about ready to throttle the little fur ball, and a breeze whipped around the room, rustling his fur as my magic joined in my agitation.
“I was there when you were born, Alyssa. I was one of the chosen few allowed into the court to witness it. Nymeria saw what was happening in our world and gave us the saviour we needed. She gave us you.”
“Okay, I’m confused,” Ryder cut in. “You said Nymeria wasn’t a person, right?”
“No. Nymeria is more than a single being.” Fizzle had his haughty professor voice on and it wouldn’t be long before he started launching into the old folk tales. Although, that was pretty much what this sounded like, and I was wondering if Fizzle maybe got his wish of losing his mind.
“So, what? Alyssa is some kind of cabbage patch, baby?” Ryder looked more amused than confused, and I was guessing there was some kind of joke in there that the rest of us didn’t understand. Either that or maybe I was the one losing my mind and everyone else was actually making sense.
Dean shoved Ryder, who stumbled to the side, his hands raised in his defence, and from the way his eyes darted to me, I could tell he felt bad about cracking a joke right now.
I wanted to tell him it was all right, that we needed a lighthearted break amid what was turning out to be life-changing news, but I couldn’t get my mouth to open, let alone the words to come out.
Because this was life changing.
My entire past was a lie. Everything I knew about myself was a lie.
Had they even loved me?
I wiped that thought from my mind as soon as it entered because, of course, they had. I’d felt it every day while I was fortunate enough to have them in my life.
“It doesn’t matter,” I mumbled before I cleared my throat, hoping my voice would come out stronger the next time. “It doesn’t matter where I came from. They raised me, they loved me, that makes them my parents and this is my home. No one’s taking that away from me.”
The room fell silent, and I just knew it was because the worst was yet to come still.
“You need to tell her everything,” Rhidian finally said. He turned from the window and locked eyes with me. “I didn’t know. I promise you that. I only found out after you left.”
My brows furrowed in confusion as my gaze darted back to Fizzle. He refused to meet my eyes, pacing from side to side instead. I knew it was going to be bad. How could it not be if it was making the others so nervous?
Tank pressed against my back, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders as I leaned back into him, soaking up his support.
I could do this.
My eyes moved to the other men in the room who held parts of my heart, even if they hadn’t had a chance to claim them yet.
I could do this because I had them all with me.
“Nymeria gifted you to this world to set it right…” Fizzle stopped, his gaze locked with mine as I fought not to show any emotion on my face. “And the prophecy says that you will do it in a battle the likes of which has never been seen.”
“That doesn’t sound too terrible,” Maddox said carefully.
“ Fizzle ,” Rhidian warned.
I didn’t even look at him this time. I couldn’t take my gaze away from Fizzle. It felt important that I could see his face while he broke the news of my fate, like it would only be real if I did.
“And the world will know when the danger has passed because there will be no more kings and queens in the courts. Their blood will soak into the depths of Nymeria, and from it, we will be gifted a second chance.”
The room fell quiet.
What was left to say?
Not only was I condemned, but I’d dragged Tank into this with me.
“No,” Dean eventually growled, storming forward and grabbing Fizzle by the scruff of the neck as he hauled him up to eye level. “You let her come back here. The two of you marched her right up the damn doors to start this. You could have stopped this. You knew what was going to happen. So… you get to fix it now. You all die before I let anyone harm a hair on her head. If you value your life, you find a way out of this.”
The growl that rumbled out of Dean was accompanied by a flash of grey fur that rolled down his arms before disappearing. He was close to shifting. Closer than he should have been.
Fizzle didn’t fight back. He didn’t even say a word. It was how I knew there was no getting around this.
I felt so betrayed. Who wouldn’t? Rhidian might not have known back when we were kids, but he knew when he had his men disarm us and then escorted straight to the door. He knew when he stood there, happy that I was confirmed as the queen of the Spring Court. Even when he knew it was a death sentence.
“Why make her the queen?” Maddox asked, stepping forward like he was ready to help Dean tear Fizzle apart. “There’s nothing in your prophecy that says she had to be the queen. You could have let her fight, let her win this battle you think is coming and never risk herself.”
“Because without her, there isn’t anyone to take the throne in the Spring Court,” Rhidian added. I could see the guilt on his face, but I was finding it hard to care. He should feel guilty.
“You already had your spilt blood. Alyssa’s parents lost their lives here, and it should have been enough. Haven’t you taken enough? ” Maddox roared. His eyes flashed with his lion before he shook his head and took a step back.
I could see his struggle. I could see all of them struggling. The tremor that ran through Tank’s hands as they clenched my shoulders was evidence enough of that.
“Get out,” Tank growled.
Rhidian didn’t move. He still stood at the window, staring at me with pleading eyes.
“Is there more?” I asked Fizzle. I needed it all out here in the open before I could even process what they were trying to say. “This is your last chance, Fizzle. Is this everything?”
Dean reluctantly let go of the owl gryphon, turning on the spot and storming to the other side of the room. The need for violence practically vibrated from him, and I couldn’t say he was alone in that. I could feel it building inside myself. I didn’t recognise the two in front of me that I’d once called friends. Clearly, the feelings had never been reciprocated, because they wouldn’t have done this to me if they had.
I’d known coming back to Nymeria would mean death for me. I guess I just hadn’t seen it happening like this.
“There’s nothing else. There’s no other way. I looked… I looked for so long, but this is the only way to save them all.” I heard the hitch in his voice. The sadness but also the resignation. And I knew he was telling me the truth. There was no getting out of this.
So, I had a choice to make.
I’d run once and regretted it ever since. The people here, this world, it had paid a price for me leaving.
Now it was time to repay them.
Rhidian left without a word. Fizzle gave me one last pleading look and then spread his wings and soaring out the door.
I couldn’t move. It felt like I’d fracture into a million pieces if I did.
It was one thing to accept that it was time to lay your life on the line and something completely different to know what to do next.