17. Chapter 17
Chapter 17
Ryder
M y feet shuffled in the long grass as I anxiously waited for the moon to rise. I could feel a difference inside myself. It wasn’t only my agitation that thrummed through my body.
I’d been completely honest with Alyssa earlier. I was so fucking excited about what was going to happen next. This was how I’d get stronger. This was how I’d get my brother back.
“The most important thing is to relax. Don’t fight the shift. Let your animal rise up and take control. It’s going to hurt, but if you try to pull back, you risk damaging your connection. Trust your animal, they know what to do,” Tank cautioned us.
I didn’t think any of us were really listening. There was a tension in the air and it came from the group of shifters preparing to be free for the first time in their lives.
My gaze moved to where Alyssa stood on the lake shore. Her eyes were closed as she tipped her face into the wind, her long blonde hair flowed behind her in a picture of serenity. I knew it couldn’t be further from the truth, though. She’d been the most anxious out of the lot of us throughout the entire day. Even now, I knew she was scanning the area for danger. It took me a while to figure out what the cool sensation was that brushed against my skin. And then I realised it was Alyssa—it was her magic.
I’d been worried about her earlier. I could see the stress in her eyes as she’d read the letter from her father. The way she was doubting herself.
But how could she ever think she was broken?
Alyssa was the strongest person I’d ever met. I’d experienced loss, and I’d seen others have to struggle through it too. It was inevitable in the world we lived in. But what she’d gone through shadowed anything I’d ever seen and she was still here, still fighting and still prepared to stand up for what was right even though it scared the shit out of her.
I just wish there was some way I could convince her she didn’t have to be strong all the time. She could lean on us when she needed to, and we’d take the burden off her shoulders if it became too much.
As my head filled with thoughts of Alyssa, the wolf inside me surged to the front of my mind. It came so suddenly that I physically lurched forward at the sensation, collapsing to the ground on my hands and knees.
“What the fuck?” I muttered as a wave of nausea swept over me.
“This is it,” Tank said grimly, and my gaze moved to the full moon hanging heavy in the sky above us.
This was it?
Holy fuck, I was about to shift into a wolf.
I quickly looked around at Maddox and Dean. Maddox, the ever overachiever, had already shifted, and his lion lazed in the grass at the edge of the clearing. He’d done this once before, so I guess it wasn’t such a big deal for him. Dean, on the other hand, looked like he was seconds away from barfing, the same as I was. No one had mentioned this part, and I scrunched my eyes closed as I tried to hold back the need to hurl.
The sound of a canine huff of laughter in my mind had my body locking up in confusion. Of course, I’d get the fucking smartass wolf that would enjoy putting me through this.
He huffed again, but I didn’t get the chance to roll my eyes as a wave of pain flowed down my spine, arching my back as I felt my bones start to break and move.
Holy fucking shit, I was only now appreciating just how much this was going to hurt.
A wave of warmth filled my mind, and I knew it was my wolf trying to comfort me through what was about to be one of the worst pains I’d ever experienced.
And then it started.
Every bone in my body snapped and reformed, only to snap again. It was like lava flowed through my veins and my mouth opened in a wordless scream as I gave myself over to the shift. There wasn’t a single part of me that tried to fight it. It was all I could do to stay conscious. I had nothing left to fight the process.
I felt my face elongating into a snout and the brush of fur that I realised was actually my own, as it covered my skin.
By the end of the process, I lay on the ground panting in exhaustion and wondering if it was even possible to survive shifting back into a human. Maybe I’d have to stay as a wolf forever. There was no way I wanted to go through that again.
I waited, lying in the cool grass and when I realised minutes had passed and no one had come to see if I was all right, I knew something was wrong.
The wolf slowly climbed to its paws, stumbling to the side as a wave of exhaustion rolled over him. He slowly shook his head, the heightened sensation rushing towards me all at once.
It was strange not to be in control of my body, but then, this wasn’t exactly my body. This was one hundred percent wolf and a part of me felt guilty for the amount of time it had been locked in the back of my mind. That warm sensation flowed through me again and pushed the guilt aside. Maybe it wasn’t so bad having someone else share your body after all.
When my wolf took a staggering step forward, he lifted his head, and I saw the disaster unfolding in front of me.
Maddox’s lion was still laying in the grass, watching the others in interest. I couldn’t tell if he was getting ready to jump in and help or if he genuinely wanted the bloodshed to start. Whichever it was, he licked his lips and stared intently at the scene playing out before us.
Tank was still where he’d been, standing at the edge of the clearing. He had his hands in his pockets, looking far too casual for a guy who was facing down a huge grey wolf. And Dean’s wolf looked pissed. His top lip raised in a snarl, but instead of lunging for Tank, he backed up a step. He wasn’t conceding through. He’d placed himself between Tank and Alyssa and was slowly making his way back to her.
This was a problem.
Dean’s wolf needed to learn that he had to share. Alyssa would never be only his. After all, Tank was practically her mate already. He should be grateful that the guy didn’t have a problem with the rest of us joining their bond.
But he already knew this, and I was pretty sure the wolf had been on board with the whole thing as well. So, what had changed?
“Pack needs alpha, ” a voice whispered in my mind, and if I’d been in charge of this body, I would have leapt at least six feet into the air.
A snigger filled my mind.
“Holy fucking shit, you can talk,” I thought, not knowing any other way to communicate with the wolf.
“No. I think,” he said instead.
I guessed that kind of made sense. Then I felt him roll his eyes at me and I knew normal wolves didn’t do shit like that.
“They don’t have to listen to you,” he snarked, and I actually laughed that time.
Of course, I’d have an awesome wolf. Dean’s probably had a stick up its arse most of the time, just like him. There was definitely going to be some fun to be had with that.
As soon as the thought hit my mind, my wolf sat down with a thud. “We don’t piss off an alpha.”
He might have a point there.
Still, I bet it would be pretty funny.
Suddenly, Tank exploded into his bear, shredding his clothes and roaring at Dean’s wolf. I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I’d have pissed myself a little bit if I was Dean right about now. But the wolf wasn’t having anything of it. He snarled and snapped, refusing to back down.
I could tell Alyssa was getting annoyed at the pair. Hopefully, she understood what was happening because Tank definitely hadn’t warned the rest of us. We knew they’d both been worried about Dean’s wolf playing nice at the start of this whole thing, but when Dean assured us he had the wolf under control, I’d naively thought that would be the end of it.
Clearly it wasn’t.
The pair started to circle, and I started to worry.
I got that this was going to be a fight for dominance. I’d seen enough Animal Planet to figure that out. But what was going to happen to Dean? Taking on a bear the size of Tank’s felt more like a death wish than anything else.
My wolf didn’t move. It watched the show curiously, not at all concerned with what was about to happen to our brother.
And then I felt something that I recognised because I’d already experienced the brush of magic against my skin from Alyssa.
I looked at the woman in question curiously. What was she doing?
But this was different. It didn’t have the same cold chill that had danced along my skin before. This was both ice and heat, two opposing forces, both building and twisting in the clearing around us.
My wolf's attention snapped back to Dean and Tank as he cautiously climbed to his feet. His eyes darted between Alyssa and the two males getting ready to attack each other. I could feel his concern for our mate starting to build, and even though it scared the shit out of me, there was an underlying feeling of relief. Because he definitely saw the woman who had transfixed us all from the moment we first met her as his mate. And at least that meant he wouldn’t want to stand in the way of me claiming her as my own.
“Mate is in danger,” he whispered into my mind, confirming my own feelings.
“Can we reach her?”
“Not without drawing the attention of the alphas.”
The wolf’s gaze darted to Maddox’s lion, who continued to lie in the grass, his tail twitching back and forth, the only outward sign that he had any concern at all.
Either he didn’t think this was as big a danger as we did or he knew something we didn’t.
The sound of rustling leaves and snapping wood punctuated the air and my wolf tensed, readying for an attack. This was the last thing we needed when our group was so divided, although maybe it would be enough to distract the two alphas from each other.
As I readied for whatever was about to come, Maddox’s lion finally stood and shook out his mane. Was he finally taking this seriously, and why did that freak me out more than reassure me?
But then I watched in confused fascination as vines exploded out of the ground. I’d seen this before, and from the confused look on Alyssa’s face, this wasn’t something she was doing.
In the space of time it took for my wolf to inhale, intending to bark out a warning to Dean, the water from the lake suddenly surged up the shore, collecting into a wave as it threatened to crash down upon us all.
The vines snapped tense and then flew towards Dean, each one coated with vicious thorns ready to tear through flesh.
“Enough!” Alyssa shouted. She threw her hands in the air as her face creased in annoyance.
And everything stopped.
The wave froze over; the vines fell to the ground, lifeless, and she strode between the two alphas like she didn’t have a care in the world.
My wolf sat his ass down, the closest thing to a grin on his face as he could manage. “Mate was always going to be alpha. Men never see these things.”
“You’re a guy,” I pointed out and then panicked. “Oh shit, you are a guy, right? I didn’t become a girl. Am I a girl? Oh fuck, what happened to my dick? Am I getting my dick back?”
The wolf laughed and didn’t answer, so I spent the rest of my energy trying to concentrate on whether or not I could feel a dick. It might not have been the best use of my time, but this was definitely the most important issue for me right now.