21. Chapter 21
Chapter 21
Alyssa
J udging by the soft snoring, at least some of my mates were still asleep as I headed to the bathroom door. Dean’s head lifted from the pillow as I crossed the carpet. I knew he’d be the one to catch me, if it was going to be any of them. His stalker-like tendencies hadn’t let up since my meeting with Fizzle, and I had a terrible feeling I was about to make them even worse.
As I stepped into the bathroom, I gently pushed the door almost closed, peering out through the remaining gap to see what he was about to do. He waited, staring at the door, which should have looked closed to him in the dark. Not wanting to risk anything if he was still awake, I quickly darted to the sink and turned on the tap before returning to the door. It didn’t take long for Dean to finally lay his head back on the pillow.
Holding my breath, I gently closed the door the rest of the way and prayed it didn’t make a sound. I pressed my ear against the surface for good measure, trying to hear if anyone was getting out of bed ready to follow me.
When I heard nothing, I softly let out a sigh and turned back to the bathroom.
My heart pounded so hard in my chest, I worried they’d realise through the bond that something was wrong.
Without lingering on why I knew this was wrong, I darted across the bathroom and pulled my clothes out of the stack of towels where I’d hidden them. I’d already opened the bathroom window before going to bed, so at least I didn’t have to worry about it making a noise and waking anyone.
It occurred to me I could have just told the guys what I was intending to do. It wasn’t like I needed their permission or anything, but given my tendency to run off and try to solve our problems on my own, I knew there was no way they’d let me do this. What with it essentially being me running off into the night to solve our problems alone.
Damn, I really was a terrible person when it came to relying on other people.
But even realising that, it wouldn’t stop me from doing what needed to be done.
I couldn’t keep everyone safe if I didn’t know what was happening out amongst the trees, and I knew without a doubt that whatever it was, it posed no danger to me. This was my land, my court, and most of all, my wild magic. I had nothing to worry about.
Probably.
The same couldn’t be said for the others, though. And while I didn’t have the same level of control over my magic, as Fizzle had pointed out on numerous occasions when we’d started training this afternoon, I had no way of keeping them safe out here.
I couldn’t risk it. Rhidian had lost so many when the trees turned against them.
I’d never risk them.
But whatever was building out there was growing in intensity, and I needed to address it before it became a problem. The people here had suffered enough already.
By the time I’d pulled on my clothes and slipped out the bathroom, I’d just about talked myself into believing that I was doing the right thing. I pushed that last niggling doubt at the back of my mind down into the pits of denial. I couldn’t afford to delay any longer if I wanted to get some distance between me and the palace before the others realised I was gone.
Yes, I knew that wouldn’t be something I’d worry about if I wasn’t actually doing anything wrong, and still… denial. It was the only way to make it through life, people.
Fuck, I was an awful person.
I took off at a slow jog, letting my magic seep out of me and move between the trees. It was as easy as breathing now. The problem wasn’t reaching for the magic and bringing it forth; it was keeping it controlled and contained.
It only took five paces for me to meet the treeline, before it would have been a solid five minutes. Yet, even knowing what had happened to the people here when the forests of Nymeria had reclaimed the land, I wasn’t afraid. I could feel the growing magic around me and it was too familiar for me to be scared.
I recalled the empty magicless sensation I’d found in the forest when Rhidian had marched us to the palace door. A shudder rippled down my spine at the memory. The ground had felt dead, devoid of the very essence this land should contain—Nymeria. Nothing could be further from the truth now. There was a buzz in the trees, an anticipation that whatever was building was reaching its crescendo, and Nymeria’s creatures were excited to see, whatever it was, happen.
Given the ruthless nature of most of Nymeria’s creatures, I had a terrible feeling that it wouldn’t be good. And yet, there was something about the magic itself that made me think it actually could be.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. A memory at the edge of my mind made this whole thing seem familiar in some way. But every time I tried to look at it, to draw it to the front of my mind, it slipped through my grasp.
I came to a stop in a small clearing, and knelt, pressing one hand against the ground and concentrated on the echo of magic that radiated back to me. I let myself slip into the flow, to feel the waves and movement as it swept across the landscape.
When the forest had moved to reclaim the land, there had to have been magic here. So whatever had happened had to have been relatively recent. And it could still be here now, drawing this new emerging magic back to it.
I couldn’t let that happen.
Not without knowing the cause. I couldn’t create a whole new weapon that could potentially be used against us and just idly sit by while it happened.
Something further in amongst the trees caught my attention. The sensation of something other than the magic here had attached itself to. It wasn’t drawing power, though. If anything, it was reaching out and trying to join with it. To give itself over to whatever I’d created.
My head lifted as my brow wrinkled in concern. It didn’t feel malevolent, but there was no way to know for sure without moving deeper into the forest.
I climbed to my feet and glanced around, trying to get a bearing of where I was in the court. It was difficult. Nothing was the same as it had been when I was last here. Hell, even the trees weren’t in the same places. The forest had become so dense, I couldn’t even see through the canopy of leaves above me despite standing in the small clearing I’d found.
I knew if I pulled on the bond I had with my mates, I’d be able to follow it back to them. I couldn’t get lost in these trees when I had them as my anchor. But the palace was completely obscured from my view and something about it had a disconcerting feeling, making my skin pebble in fear.
I felt so alone out here, so isolated. And for the first time, I doubted why I always felt like I had to act alone to solve our problems.
As I turned back towards where I thought the palace should be, I considered if I should go back and ask the others to come with me. It was then that a noise deeper in the trees drew my attention. It sounded like the creak of wood that came from a tree losing its fight with gravity. But when the trees were more likely to move than fall to the ground, it wasn’t exactly a sound that filled me with confidence.
Unfortunately, because I was as foolish as a fae could possibly be, it inspired some curiosity in me. And of course, like the idiot I was, I set out to investigate.
“This is why the blonde one always gets murdered first in movies,” I mumbled to myself. “I’m genetically coded to walk towards danger.”
The fact that I hadn’t thought to bring a weapon out here with me was evidence enough of that. But this wasn’t a world where weapons won a fight. I had magic; powerful magic. I was a weapon in my own right… if I could just get it under control to fully access my whole potential.
The light in the forest dimmed as I ventured further away from the palace. The trees were denser here, and with every step I took, I could feel the magic pulling at my body. It felt like Nymeria begging me to join with it. Like it was calling me home.
The magic inside me reached out for the power that travelled through the land, and I stumbled to a stop as the two started to merge together. A whispering need formed in my mind that I knew wasn’t my own, and I shook my head to try to free myself from the pull.
It was like listening to the beginning notes of a song on the breeze. The more you tried to ignore it, the more the melody pulled at your subconscious.
Before I knew it, I was walking again, drifting between the trees, following the pull of the magic as it invaded my system, reaching into the deepest parts of me. It felt like I was disconnected from my body. I was shoved into the back of my mind, lost in the dream. The magic invaded every part of me and even the panic that I was losing control couldn’t gain any traction in me.
The sound of my muffled footfalls in the forest was the only noise in this dense part of the forest. There were no signs of any animals or creatures, just the thick sensation of magic hanging heavy in the air. So dense, it became hard to breathe.
This was why the forest had felt dead before. All the magic had been drained from the outskirts and was collected here. But for what purpose?
This couldn’t be Arik. If he had the power to do something like this, to collect this much magic in one place, he’d have used it to destroy every court that stood in his way.
But if this wasn’t Arik, who else in Nymeria had the potential to do something like this? It was a simple question to answer—no one. There wasn’t a fae alive who could do this sort of thing. So what the fuck was happening here?
It was a humbling thought to realise you were so small in a vast and powerful world, and I was done fighting it. There was no point. Something greater than me was going on here and I was powerless to do anything but to witness it.
The sound of groaning wood echoed around me again. It was closer this time. Too close.
Movement off to the side flickered between the dense trees as my body twisted and turned of its own volition, moving deeper and deeper into the forest. Whatever it was, it was tracking me, mirroring my movements like a hunter stalking its prey. It didn’t even bother trying to hide itself. The trees did a good enough job of that, but I could tell that it was taunting me with its closeness, knowing there was nothing I could do about it.
Throughout it all, I didn’t feel in any danger. There was an edge of panic at being possessed by the magic, but I could feel my power lingering out here amongst the dense wild magic, and I knew it wouldn’t allow me to come to any harm.
Just when it seemed like there was no end to the forest before me, a sudden flare of moonlight burned at my eyes as I emerged from the trees. My feet stepped out onto grass, and I looked around at the small meadow I’d emerged into.
I didn’t recognise this place. There had never been a meadow in the middle of the forest when I’d been a child, but so much else had changed around here. Why not this?
That same crack of ageing wood sounded from immediately behind me and a breath stirred the hair at the back of my neck. It was time. Whatever had been stalking me through the trees was waiting for me to turn around, and even though the magic still hung dense in the air, my body slowly turned under my own control when I wanted it to. Whatever magic had made sure I’d come to this place was gone. Its mission was complete.
And now it was just me and… the dryad standing behind me.
My joints locked up as an icy chill of dread swept down my body.
This wasn’t good.
The dryads hadn’t been seen in Nymeria for millennia. They were the whispered stories our grandparents had told us. The original magic wielders of the Spring Court that had kept order in our realm when magic first leeched out across the land.
And it had been an iron rule where the only punishment for the barest of crimes was death.
So the question was, what crime had I committed? Oh right, I’d flooded the court with a strange and wild magic and it was creating something potentially dangerous out amongst the trees where this dryad apparently ruled. Yeah… this wouldn’t go super well for me.
I locked eyes with the dryad before me. It probably wasn’t smart, and yet that realisation just made me want to do it even more. This wasn’t a fight I could survive. Besides, I was curious about what it wanted with me and how it had been living in this forest without any of us knowing of its presence.
“You brought me here?” Okay, maybe that sounded a bit too much like an accusation to start out with, but surely I deserved a bit of leeway here.
The dryad said nothing, and I shuffled nervously on my feet. I couldn’t figure out from the look on its face if it was here for peaceful reasons or if violence was about to break out. Its wooden face didn’t show any emotion, and it seemed to be passively waiting for what I’d do.
I took a step back, and a quiet crack of wood accompanied the dryad cocking its head to the side. I’d heard the stories of dryads, but seeing the tree-like creature before me in real life was fascinating. Part of me wanted to reach out and see if its skin actually was made of wood, but I was guessing that would be kind of rude. After all, I wouldn’t like it if everyone I met started poking me to see if I was squishy or not.
We fell into a silence where I tried not to stare. I tried not to keep looking at the wooden creature in front of me that could have been an old tree brought to life. The strange branches that sprouted from their shoulders looked like they’d never again sprout a leaf. Bark-like skin that seemed to be broken and peeling in places. The more I looked, the more I realised that something was wrong.
“You… you’re sick,” I stuttered out, hoping I wasn’t about to insult the creature in front of me.
I didn’t think they’d respond at first. I wasn’t even sure if they could. So when the dryad finally opened its mouth, I was more shocked than afraid.
“Is the state of our world of concern to you now, young queen?” Their voice creaked like the sound of moving wood, and I cringed at the direct hit to the guilt that still lived inside me.
“Yes. I’ve made mistakes in the past. In fact, I’m still making them now. But I’m here, and it’s time for me to set right what wrongs I can.”
The dryad nodded. “Perhaps Nymeria can set right these wrongs by itself. The fae have been part of this world for nothing but the space of time it takes for a single breath. They have squandered the gifts that Nymeria gave to them. Perhaps all of this world’s problems would end with the fae.”
As much as I wanted to argue with their logic, I couldn’t.
“Is that why the forest is moving? Nymeria is getting ready to wipe the land clean of the fae?”
The dryad shrugged and then walked around me into the centre of the meadow. Tipping back its head, it closed its eyes and basked in the moonlight for a moment.
“Or is it you that moves the forest?” I asked, realising that maybe this problem wasn’t as large of scale as it might appear to be.
When the dryad turned and smiled at me, I knew I’d hit the nail on the head.
“The forest moves when the land needs its presence. The trees can only thrive in the places they are supposed to be.”
Cool, so we were going to get into the riddles portion of this confrontation now.
“Why did you call me here? This is your magic, right? You’re the one gathering all of this power in one place. What exactly do you intend to do with it?”
The dryad actually laughed at me then, and it wasn’t the friendliest I’d ever heard.
“My magic? I’m not the one who came storming into a palace, claiming it as her own. I didn’t send waves of foreign magic across a court claimed for spring.”
I opened my mouth to defend myself, but then snapped it shut again. I hadn’t considered the fact that whilst I had elements of spring magic inside me; the rest was different to what had governed this land before.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered. This dryad was clearly old, and given that it was a powerful land deity in its own right, it was a pretty safe leap that the Spring Court was its home. “I didn’t walk into the palace of my volition, and I didn’t intend to claim the court. But you’re right, I should have realised that my magic would affect the land like it has. I felt the wild magic I have merging with the Spring magic of the Court, and I should have tried to stop it. I didn’t mean to create something new here. Is that what’s hurting you? Have I done this?”
“New,” the dryad scoffed. “Only a fae would look at something created by the very power of the universe and have the audacity to think they could mould it into something new. No child, there’s nothing new here. But what you have done is create something old . Something ancient, forgotten and hungry. I wonder if you will be strong enough to survive what you’ve set in motion. Or will you be just another lost child of Nymeria intent on destroying everything they touch.”
The dryad crept closer, and I held my ground. This conversation was definitely leaning into smiting territory and if I was going down, I’d at least do it pretending that I wasn’t about to shit my pants.
But then a wave of determination swept over me. Running and hiding needed to be a way of the past, and as much as I might not want to admit it right now, running off to face things alone wasn’t exactly working out for me, either. It was time to learn to lean on those around me. To work together. We all had our strengths, and together, we were always going to be stronger than apart.
They were my mates, and I shouldn’t disrespect them by going off on a mission of my own to spare them.
“I refuse to die here. And I refuse to allow my people to suffer any longer. So, yeah, I might be na?ve, and I might have a lot to learn, but I’m here and I’m ready to learn. My magic is powerful, and whatever has started out here amongst the trees won’t be the end of me. It’s just the beginning. Because you’re right, whatever this magic is, it’s my magic, and it’s time for me to learn how to control it.” I was panting by the time I’d finished my little speech and all it did was cause the dryad to look like it was trying to hold back its laughter.
I wasn’t a little girl anymore. I knew I had the potential to be so much more and I owed it to my people to be the queen they needed me to be.
“Why do the fae always think that controlling magic is the only way? The very gift that Nymeria has given you and you decide to crush it beneath your will. Why do you think the world is how it is? That the fae have lost so much of what was given to them? You should let your magic free and work with it, not against it. Is it not a part of you? Does it not deserve to breathe?”
I had no answers, just a growing sense of shame to line up against all the other failures I tortured myself with.
“Why did you bring me here?” I asked again, realising that the dryad’s question was bordering on advice and that wasn’t really how our encounter had started.
Instead of answering me, the dryad looked around the clearing, and with a wave of its hand the land moved, rolling and climbing, until instead of the flat meadow we’d stood in, there now sat two mounds in the centre that looked suspiciously like seats. The dryad strode to one and then sat atop, crossing its legs in a way that didn’t seem possible, and sighed as if in relief.
They looked at me curiously and then nodded to the second mound in invitation. I wasn’t exactly going to refuse. Now that I wasn’t as scared, I was intrigued by what they had to say. This was a creature that hadn’t been seen in Nymeria for millennia. One that had been relegated to nothing but stories. And here I was having a conversation with them. This was an opportunity to get some answers about things that, until now, had seemed impossible. Or at least I hoped it was.
As I settled on the mound, I looked over the dryad in front of me. They really didn’t look like they were doing too well. The stories I’d heard of the dryad had them as these fearsome magic wielders, so strong that the fae once believed them to be gods. When they disappeared from our world, it was said to be a punishment because of the fae’s lack of respect for the world around them. It was the beginning of our decline and the point where everyone said the fae’s magic started to decline.
“Who said I was the one to bring you here?” it finally answered.
“Like you said, whatever is building out here is because of my magic, and I know how my magic feels. The pull I had to come to this place was something different.”
The dryad smiled, cocking his head to the side. “You’re starting to think for a change. Perhaps you will survive after all.”
“It’s hard to find the positive in that when you make it sound like such an insult,” I snarked, tiring of this creature constantly calling me stupid.
It laughed, the sound like splintering wood.
“Yeah, yeah, I am stupid and you’re not here to make me feel better about it,” I added, already knowing what they were about to say and figuring it would sting less if I just said it myself.
This time the dryad nodded respectfully, and I actually felt like we were getting somewhere.
“I did call you here. I sensed the power you sent through the court when you arrived and when you claimed those males as your own. This dying world needs some hope, and I was curious to see if you were it.”
“And by dying world, you mean Nymeria in general, not what’s happening to the fae.” I knew it might frustrate the dryad to simplify things down like this, but I wanted to make sure I got absolutely everything I could out of this conversation. To do that, we needed to go back to the very beginning.
“Yes,” they sighed, but continued on anyway. “Nymeria was not meant to be like this. Everyone in their own little pockets, hoarding what power they could and crushing the magic into useless little tricks meant to tear the lives from others. Nymeria took parts of itself and gifted them to the fae. The whole cannot exist if you keep these elements separated.”
“You mean the Courts,” I realised.
“When have the elements existed in isolation in this world? Where there is one, there is always at least one more. But you push them apart, rather than gathering them together to see the beauty they can forge. The realm weeps to be whole, but none of you are listening. You forgot how to listen.” A tear gathered at the edge of the dryad’s eye, but it didn’t fall. Because as much as they were sad at the state of the realm, I could see the underlying rage simmering inside them as well. “Even when Nymeria gave the fae a champion, they turned against them.”
It was a truth I wasn’t ready to hear. The dryad was right, though. The fae were so lost as a people now that we didn’t even realise it. We were all to blame for what was happening to our world, and the creatures of Nymeria could do nothing but sit by and watch it happen.
“Is that why the creatures of Nymeria have sided with Arik? Because he is trying to unify Nymeria in his own twisted way?” I could see why they’d feel like they had no other choice. After all, it sounded like there was no love lost between the fae and the other creatures that lived in our lands. We’d never co-existed with them properly, so why should they pity us now?
“Your Winter King is nothing but an abomination, and his crimes against the creatures of Nymeria will not go unanswered,” the dryad seethed.
Finally, something that could help.
“If you can help us figure out a way to break his hold over them, we can take him down,” I rushed out. The dryad looked at me doubtfully but I surged on, hoping to change their mind. “Whatever he’s doing to control the other creatures, he’s doing it to the fae as well. He has an entire army of fae that he’s… I don’t know, taken away their will somehow. I could break a few of his hold, but I can’t take down an entire army alone.”
“Why do you think you can’t do this alone?” the dryad asked curiously.
I cocked my head to the side as I considered his question. “I don’t know how.”
“Again, stop trying to be in control of everything. Some things are because they need to be. Trust your magic, you carry a part of Nymeria that few have had the luxury of witnessing, let alone experiencing for themselves.”
“I was always told that I should keep my magic hidden. I don’t know how…”
“Stop!” The dryad sighed, climbing from their mound and instead choosing to pace in the space between us. “Why do you constantly question, constantly look for ways to bend things to your will? What makes you so important that you believe you should stand above Nymeria itself?”
“That’s not what I’m saying! If you would just let me explain,” I snapped.
“Explain. You’re looking for a way to control, to dominate, to break, just like the rest of them. I’m disappointed in you, child. You hold so much promise, but you’re just like the rest of them. The fate of the fae is sealed. If it is not Nymeria’s lost child who will see the end of you all, it will come when the land forsakes you.”
The dryad turned from me then, clearly intending to head back into the forest and leave me to figure this out on my own. But this was our only opportunity to figure out how to stop Arik. How to save the few fae that needed us. I couldn’t just let them walk away.
“Wait!” I cried out as they neared the treeline. “Please, wait. Help me understand, help me figure out what I’m supposed to do. Please . We all need this.”
The dryad glanced back over their shoulder and I could see the pity in their eyes. “You have no clue what it is that you need. How do you expect to save the rest of them when you can’t even save yourself? I can see your self-doubt, your fear. You know the end is in sight and yet you sit here begging for answers rather than standing up and looking for a way to fight.”
“I am looking for a way to fight! Why do you think I’m here?” I was on the verge of losing my temper, and it only seemed to amuse the dryad even more.
“You’re here looking for someone else to solve your problems for you. You have all you need to solve them, but you’re too blind to see it. Blind or ignorant, only time will tell.” They hesitated, and I had a glimmer of hope that they’d change their mind. “Figure out who you are, find your potential, and we will speak again.”
Then they slipped into the trees and disappeared from sight.
I could have chased after them. I could have tried to demand they give me the answers I needed, but I knew it was pointless. This whole thing had been pointless. I had no answers, only more questions.
As I stood in the meadow feeling sorry for myself, the trees began to move again. I wasn’t afraid. If the dryad had wanted me dead, I would be. Instead, the forest thinned, and the palace came into view once more. I hadn’t walked as far as I’d first assumed.
As I made my way back to the palace walls, I ran the conversation over and over in my mind, desperate to find any kind of hope. Maybe the dryad didn’t have any answers, and that was why they’d refused to give them to me. Maybe they were just as helpless as the rest of us. Still, their parting words echoed in my mind and I couldn’t help but feel them as the blow they weren’t intended to be.
I knew who I was… didn’t I?