23. Chapter 23
Chapter 23
Maddox
T here was no sign of Dean. Ryder and I wandered the corridors, my lion helping us as we searched for his scent. But as soon as we’d got to the first corner in the corridor, it was like he’d disappeared.
“Is this going to be some kind of magic?” Ryder grumbled. “It would just be like Dean to get the sneaky fucker magic.”
“Ha! Probably.” He had a point. Out of all of us, Dean was the one who liked to disappear when doing the whole people-thing got too much for him. It was one reason why he was so good at his job, and why our unit had been so successful.
Thinking back to our time in the human realm felt strange now. It felt like an entire lifetime ago. Everything had changed. We’d changed.
“Do you think Damon will be one of Alyssa’s mates?” Ryder blurted out as we casually strolled through the palace like we didn’t have a care in the world.
Now that was a thought. Would I care if he was? He was my actual brother, and most people would be weirded out about that. I probably couldn’t have done what we did the other night with him there. But it’s not like we’d be doing the group stuff all the time. Would we? We really needed to figure out this situation better. Conversation was really not a strength in our group.
“I don’t know. At the minute, all I can concentrate on is getting him back.”
It wasn’t the only thing I could concentrate on. In fact, I was ashamed to admit that I hadn’t been thinking about it much at all. The guilt was so overwhelming that we hadn’t pulled him out of there back at the Winter Palace that it consumed nearly every thought I had. I couldn’t see past my failure to even think about the future. My mind stalled into a loop of self-loathing, and I was blind to the possibility of having him back with us again.
“We are getting him back,” Ryder said firmly, clasping my shoulder in support.
I nodded numbly. The longer it took, the less likely it seemed. How were we even supposed to get close to him again, let alone break him free from Arik? Everything about this situation seemed as impossible as Alyssa had once tried to persuade us it was.
We should have listened to her.
And the guilt of that thought was nearly enough to overtake the rest.
I sighed and shook my head. It made no sense to keep going in this loop, not when we finally had some kind of plan in place. A direction to move in, finally.
“Let’s look for Fizzle. I have a feeling that Dean is only going to be found when he wants to be.”
“Sure,” Ryder said brightly, bouncing in his steps as we turned and headed in the general direction of the training sands. Someone would probably be out there at this time of day and they’d be able to point us in the general direction of where we needed to go.
As we headed through the corridors, I noticed more signs of life in the palace than we’d seen before. There were soft noises behind some of the doors of people moving about. The clatter of pans came from the kitchens nearby and someone was singing in the distance.
“This must have been a beautiful place back when Alyssa was a kid,” Ryder mused. “Do you think this is where she’ll want to live once we’ve won all our battles?”
Of course, Ryder wouldn’t even doubt that would happen. He’d always had an unwavering faith in us all, even back when we were kids.
I looked around us as we walked, noting the tapestries and paintings that dotted the halls, the soft light that filtered through a nearby window. As my gaze fixed on the shadow of leaves on the corridor floor cast by the decorated metal lattice that covered the glass, my feet stumbled to a stop.
Reaching out, I ran my fingers through the sunbeams, revelling at the sheer sight of them.
“What are you doing?” Ryder asked cautiously, looking at me like he wasn’t entirely sure what to do.
“The sun… it’s shining through the windows.”
I turned to the windows, pressing my hands against the glass as I peered outside.
“It does that in the day, you know?” Ryder said, missing my point.
I glanced over my shoulder at him, confused at how he wasn’t seeing this as well. “Well, yeah. But not this glass…” I looked outside again to confirm I actually was seeing what I thought I was. “The trees have moved.”
A shove at my side had Ryder barging me out of his way as he looked out the window himself. “Huh.”
I couldn’t help but stare at him, shaking my head at how we’d somehow got to a place where this wasn’t something he’d freaked out about.
“This has to be a good sign, right? Whatever Alyssa wanted to do out there must have worked?”
Ryder shrugged. “Who knows with this place?”
He had a point, so we turned away from the window and carried on heading towards the training area.
Impossible things happened in Nymeria, and I found myself clinging to that thought. Damon had seemed so lost to us when he’d turned on Alyssa at the Winter Palace, injuring Dean in the process. But, with the things we’d seen here, surely there was still some hope.
“Do you think we’ll get him back?” I asked quietly.
Ryder said nothing at first. Eventually, he shrugged again, and it was so unlike him. “I think if there’s a way, we’ll find it. My worry is who we’ll be getting back, though. Even if we can break him out of whatever hold Arik has over him, he won’t be the Damon we knew before. He’s going to have to find a way to live with the things he’s done and we both know he’s not the kind of person who won’t blame himself for it. I don’t… He’s going to have a really tough road ahead of him.”
I hadn’t thought of that. I’d been so consumed with my need to save my brother that I hadn’t thought past the physical aspect of it. We hadn’t even really considered what would happen when we’d put this whole thing to bed.
“Do you want to stay in Nymeria?”
“I want to stay with Alyssa, wherever she is. If that’s here, then here’s where I’ll be,” Ryder told me, like it wasn’t a big deal. “The shifters back in our world live in the shadows. That’s going to be even harder for us, not only because of the whole magic thing, but because we know what it’s like to live free. At least here we don’t have to hide. We can be whoever we want to be. Besides, even once the fighting is over, there'll be a lot to do around here. People will need help to rebuild their lives. It sounds nice to be the ones doing the rebuilding for a change.”
Ryder had a point. He was never suited to the army, even if he excelled at it. He was too kind, wearing his emotions on his sleeve. We all knew he only joined because the rest of us did. Not that there was really any other option for kids like us. We’d all be in jail by now if we hadn’t joined up when we did. But Ryder was the guy who wanted to help. When he saw people in pain, it made little sense to him to turn away, let alone cause them even more of it. I was always grateful that he did what he did, though. That he made that sacrifice to stay with us. Because sometimes I didn’t think we’d have survived if he hadn’t.
I could see the similarities between Ryder and Alyssa already. She might have spent all this time trying to be a different person to protect her heart from breaking over her loss, but deep down, I knew she’d do anything for the people here. It wouldn’t have hurt her so much to leave otherwise. But now that she was back here, I could see the leader she was always destined to be shining through.
“I think I want to stay too,” I decided. “It’s not like we’re leaving anything behind. Home was always when we were together and there’s no way Dean will ever be persuaded to leave her side. Besides, I weirdly like it here.”
It was weird. We’d basically spent most of the time running for our lives, but there was something strangely comforting about that. Most of our lives were spent in conflict zones and this felt familiar, but it was more than that. I could see the potential here and Ryder was right when he said that here we’d be able to be free. It was a luxury we’d never had the chance to experience before, and I had a feeling it would be the most addictive drug we’d ever find. It was hard to go back to living in a box when you’d finally been able to stretch all four legs and run like never before.
“She shines here,” Ryder said, almost to himself. “I can already see that she’s more settled, more connected.”
I nodded. The door to the training rings was in sight and the sound of fighting reached our ears. I didn’t want them to hear what I was about to say though, and when I came to a stop, it took Ryder several steps before he realised I wasn’t walking alongside him.
“Whatever happens here, she’s always the priority. She needs support to do what needs to be done, but I really think if we stand by her, she can make the changes that need to be made. But if we get to a point where it’s her life or theirs, we get her back to the portal, whether she wants it or not. I can’t lose her, Ryder. I know I won’t survive it. And I want to be all noble and shit and say I’ll die alongside her, but I can’t even get my head to that step. The thought of a world without her in it…”
The lion pushed to the surface and with it came a wave of comfort. “Nothing hurts our mate,” he reassured me.
Ryder returned to my side. He stared straight into my eyes as he grasped my shoulder. “We get strong enough to fight beside her, and we get strong enough to save her. Whatever that means. We have magic now. Between us, we could maybe open the portal. But you’re right, whatever it takes, she walks away from this alive, even if we let this entire realm die in our wake.”
It was a brutal thought, but we had little connection to these people apart from through Alyssa. Maybe it was the mate bond clouding my judgement. I didn’t have it in me to care. She would always be my priority and with that came a realisation I hadn’t considered before.
“She’s connected to this place now through the marks. We all are. We need information on what that means, and we need to make sure no one knows why we’re asking. I don’t see Rhidian taking it too well to know that we’re working on an escape plan.” My eyes darted back to the door to make sure we hadn’t been overheard. It still sat closed and there was no one around listening to our conversation.
It felt dangerous to even be thinking this. Treasonous almost. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise, though. We were mated, bonded. They had to realise she would always be our ultimate priority.
After Ryder nodded in agreement, we reluctantly made our way outside. It felt more dangerous being out amongst these people now. Like they’d take one look at us and realise we were never wholly on their side. I felt for them, I really did. No one should ever have to face the reality of losing their family, their loved ones, the homes they’d built. Maybe it made me a terrible person. I didn’t have it in me to care. Deep down, if they asked themselves the same questions, I knew they’d do the same. Or at least I hoped they would. It was the only way I’d ever be able to sleep at night.
Ryder stepped through to the training courtyard first, and it didn’t take us long to figure out where Fizzle was. The fighters in the rings had given us pretty solid directions without even questioning why we were looking for him. Unfortunately for us, Fizzle was in the same place as Rhidian, both staring down at an enormous map with grim looks on their faces.
Alyssa had mentioned something about this place, but given the vibe in this room, something seemed to have changed since last night.
“Maddox. Ryder,” Rhidian greeted.
“This looks serious.” Ryder grinned and strode up to the table, cocking his head to the side as he did.
I knew exactly what he was doing. He always seemed like the laid back, easy-going one. Right now, he was memorising that map and the troop positions on it, ready to sketch it out when he had the first opportunity. Next, he’d turn to the people in the room and start analysing them as well.
Everyone thought Ryder was the dumb one because he approached everything with a smile on his face. It baffled me how people couldn’t see that the smile was his most useful tool and that he had absolutely no reservations about whom to use it against. Sometimes I didn’t even think he realised he was doing it. He’d grown that used to it all.
“We’re assessing our position and the timeframe to make a move on the Autumn Court,” Rhidian explained as he picked up some papers and looked through them.
“I thought you agreed with Alyssa that this wouldn’t work?”
It was interesting that he wasn’t trying to hide anything from us, but concerning that he was so fine with going against any agreements he’d already made. Rhidian had been fighting this fight alone for so long, it wouldn’t be easy to persuade him to take a step back and listen to reason if he was locked in on a course of action.
“Things have changed. Arik is moving his forces. I’ve been trying to discuss this with you all since you got here, but you’ve been too busy locked away in your little love nest,” he snarked.
Okay, so something pissed in his cereal this morning.
“That’s hardly what we’ve been doing. You were training with us nearly all day yesterday. You had more than enough time to talk this through with everyone then,” I pointed out.
Rhidian sighed, and it was laced with so much frustration that I knew this conversation wouldn’t go anywhere.
“Where’s he moving his forces to?” Ryder asked, not bothering to even try to hide the fact that he was intently staring at the map.
Fizzle marched across the surface. “His battalions that he had stationed in the Frosting Peaks are on the move and heading towards the Autumn Court. Some of his smaller outposts are now abandoned, though, and our spies have lost all trace of them.”
He pointed out several red blocks that were scattered all around the map. There seemed to be no pattern amongst the ones that were abandoned and those still manned.
“Could they have moved to one of the other outposts? Merged?” I asked, moving closer and trying to see the pattern that had to be there.
There was reasoning behind every tactic. All you needed to do was know your enemy enough to understand how their mind worked.
“No. There’s been no change to their numbers,” Rhidian answered grumpily. “They’re making a move to reinforce the Autumn Court. I know they are.”
“That wouldn’t make much sense,” Ryder said carefully, already getting ready to tread lightly around Rhidian, it seemed. “You said the Autumn Court has already fallen, that Arik has gleaned what resources he can from there. It makes no sense to refortify that position when he still has an active front at the Summer Court.”
“It would if he knew he was at risk of losing it,” Rhidian answered defensively. “He’s strengthening his hold into a defensive position, preparing for an attack.”
“He’d have to know one was coming for that to make sense.” Ryder and I glanced at each other warily. Fuck, I didn’t want to be the one to say this aloud if they hadn’t even let themselves consider it yet. “You’d have to have a spy amongst your ranks feeding them information.”
Rhidian didn’t fly off the handle like I’d assumed he would, but I could tell he wasn’t happy by the suggestion that one of his own had betrayed him. I could see why he’d think they wouldn’t, though. From the sounds of it, the people here had nothing left. It made little sense that they’d side with the man who had caused all their pain.
But the thing about being in my line of work was that you learned to question what you considered to be fact. The assumption we had was that these people had lost everything. They could have family left behind. Or worse. They could have lost nothing in the first place. They could be a plant.
“You need to look at how someone could get information out. If you can plug the hole, you’re not on the clock to find your spy. It gives you time to quietly look into any suspects without sparking panic and suspicion amongst the ranks.”
They couldn’t afford to lose the trust when you only had each other to rely on. Especially not when everything else was against you.
“No one here is trading secrets with Arik,” Rhidian scoffed. “There’s no love for that fae here.”
He wouldn’t even meet our eyes when he said it. I couldn’t figure out if it was denial or shame. But surely he could see the sense in what we were saying.
“So, if you know Arik is moving his forces to the Autumn Court, why would you consider hitting it?” Ryder asked, changing the subject. I hadn’t even gotten far enough along in the thought process to see that part yet.
“If we get there before he can move all his troops, we can get in behind their lines…”
“And watch all your men die from a better position?” Ryder quipped.
Yeah, this situation was about to go downhill, and it was going fast. If Ryder didn’t push it there, I was ready to, because this dickhead was getting ready to send all his men to their death, and for what?
“We have to do something!” Rhidian suddenly screamed, swiping all the pieces off the map. “Do you know what it’s been like? Hiding here, all these people looking at you for answers and not being able to give them a single one. All this time, all the fighting, all the dying, and the only advantage we had, the only thing I could think to do to make him finally hurt for a change and it’s gone . Just gone. It's all been for nothing. He can’t… this can’t be the end.”
Rhidian sagged against the table and Fizzle moved to his side. It was the first time I’d seen the little owl gryphon attempt to comfort someone and from the awkward display of wing tapping, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was his first time doing it.
“We’ve fought for decades and never once gained any ground,” Fizzle told us without even turning around. “Watching from the shadows as Nymeria slowly slips away. This feels like a turning point, the point where we look back and realise it was the beginning of the end.”
“Well, that’s depressing.” Ryder laughed, and I fought the urge to pull him behind me.
The lion inside was chuffing along with him, and I wanted to throttle them both. This was the worst possible situation for the two of them to decide to be pushing their limits, and from the look on Rhidian’s face, it was going to end exactly as expected.
“What Ryder means to say is that we shouldn’t give up. We have a lot of experience in dealing with enemy combative situations. We can help…” I started.
Rhidian scoffed. It was no use pressing the situation, now wouldn’t be when they were ready to hear sense. They needed to sit with the sadness of how they saw their reality, wallow for the moment they needed, and then get the fire lit under them that made them ready to fight again.
Most of all, though. They didn’t need newcomers looking over their shoulders, questioning their actions and making them feel worse.
“You know what, maybe we should leave you guys in peace to do what you need to do,” I suggested. “We were actually here looking for Fizzle in relation to something unrelated. If you wouldn’t mind swinging by when you’re done here, Fizzle, there’s something we’d like to talk to you about.”
He nodded sadly at me, jumping from the tabletop and gliding to the ground as he gathered the fallen pieces. My fingers itched to help him, but I knew we were intruding here, and the best we could do was back away. We hadn’t earned our place here yet. Maybe in time we would, but for now, the best thing we could do was back away and give them some peace.