27. Chapter 27
Chapter 27
Alyssa
W e spent hours pouring over the map. Hours looking at the plan from every possible angle. By the time we were ready to call it a night, I was exhausted, but the guys looked like they were practically vibrating with energy.
They were clearly good at what they did. They gave insight that none of us would have considered and adapted well to adding to the possibility of relying on magic they’d never had to account for before.
A lot of what we needed to do was riding on how much power I could wield. I’d have to achieve magic on a scale that I’d never even considered possible, let alone thought I could do. I’d told them I could. Even after the display in the training yard, they seemed reluctant to fully accept it. What I didn’t tell them was that what had happened back there was only a fraction of what I could do.
Since returning to Nymeria, something had unlocked inside me. And then every time I’d used my magic it was like a door inside of me had pushed wider open.
I could feel it now, hanging partially open, and it freaked me the fuck out, because I had a terrifying suspicion there was more to come.
My eyes moved to the bedroom window as we settled into our suite for the night. Whatever was growing outside in the forest was important. Important enough that the dryad and both Fizzle had hinted there was more to come.
Whatever it was, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I wasn’t ready for it yet. I was only just learning how to regulate the power I had inside me now. It might have seemed like I was fully in control back there, but in reality I was at the edges of my limit, and there had been a part of me that had just wanted to let it all go and see what happened.
A part I wasn’t sure I liked.
“You can take your eyes off that window,” Dean whispered into my ear as he pressed against my back. “There will be no night time expeditions tonight.”
I turned around as he wrapped his arms around me, feeling like I owed him an apology. We hadn’t really talked about this yet and he deserved the same apology the others had. Even if I suspected he’d completely ignore it the same way they did.
“I’m sorry…”
His fingers pressed over my lips to silence me, and then he replaced them with his lips. I felt every emotion he held in that kiss, the worry, the desperation, the longing. It all echoed to me through our bond as his lips bruised mine with a fierce dominance.
I was ready to climb this man like a tree. Needy to feel my mates crowding around me as we lost ourselves in each other and forgot about the world for a while.
When Dean pulled back, I chased his lips, not ready for the kiss to end.
“You’re tired and we have a lot to do tomorrow. Even if the thought of bending you over that bed and reminding you how much we care about you is enough to make me know I’m going to be hard all night, it’s not happening. You need sleep.”
Dean stepped back, and I pouted in disagreement. Unfortunately, it was ruined by the yawn I couldn’t hold back.
Wielding all that magic came with a price when you weren’t used to it, and I was definitely not used to it.
Maddox laughed, darting between us as he snatched me up and carried me towards the bedroom. At least now I wasn’t the only one pouting, and Dean looked far more ridiculous doing it than I had.
It was actually kind of cute, but I resisted the urge to tell him. I already knew it wouldn’t be received well.
As Maddox gently set me on my feet next to the bed, he kissed me on the forehead. “Dean’s right. We’re all wiped and we have a full day of preparations to get in before we move out. You need rest if you’re going to get through this, and none of us will risk your safety for a few moments of pleasure.”
“A few moments? I think you’re greatly underestimating my stamina,” Ryder quipped from where he lay sprawled out in the middle of the bed. “Have I mentioned how much I love this bed?”
It was pretty great. Everything in the human realm was so small. It was like they favoured function over decadence. They could learn a thing or two from Nymeria. Although, maybe the whole monsters-who-suck-out-your-soul thing balanced it out.
Ryder’s hands wrapped around my waist and he pulled me into bed with a devilish grin on his face. “If we’re only sleeping, then I want you sleeping next to me.”
I wasn’t about to argue with that. Ryder was just as bad as Tank in the snuggling department, and I found I enjoyed the closeness far more than I ever thought I would.
These men were slowly chipping away at that hard exterior I’d tried to pretend was my default setting, and I didn’t hate it at all.
#
The only way that Ryder could wrap himself around me more right now would be if he grew a couple of tentacles. Which wasn’t completely outside the realm of possibility in Nymeria, but not something anyone should really willingly experiment with. What with the whole curse thing kind of being a ‘no refunds or exchanges’ sort of deal.
I’d been staring at the ceiling, listening to the men’s soft snores for what felt like hours by now. In reality, it had probably only been around half an hour, but I was feeling antsy and like I needed to do something which completely went against the levels of exhaustion I’d been feeling only hours ago.
Why was it that the more you wanted to sleep, the less likely it was to happen? Whatever it was, sleep felt impossible right about now, but extracting myself from this bed and doing something else filled me with a sense of guilt I definitely deserved.
Turning my head to the side, I looked at Dean’s sleeping profile. He even frowned in his sleep. It was like the guy never truly rested. To prove it, I’d only been staring at him for about a minute when the corner of his lips tipped up in a smile.
“You enjoying the view, sweetness?”
Of course, he wasn’t really sleeping. He was probably waiting for me to pass out before he’d even consider it. It was sweet, in a way. It also raised that aforementioned guilt to a whole other level.
“I can’t sleep,” I whispered back to him. “I feel… weird.”
Dean’s eyes snapped open, and he leant up on one elbow to look at me with concern. “Weird, how?”
I thought about the question for a minute because I could see how this situation would spiral if I wasn’t careful. I didn’t want to worry him. I just needed to get out of bed and do something rather than lie here and slowly drive myself insane as I stared at the ceiling.
“Like I’ve had too much coffee. Although caffeine doesn’t really give me that buzz it does most people. I wonder if that’s because I’m fae. Like is caffeine only a human stimulant, or do you think my body is just used to…”
“Yeah, I’m getting your point,” he interrupted, and I could see the amused smile he was trying to hold back. “Come on, let’s go hang out in the living room and give these guys a chance to get some sleep in.”
Oh, hello guilt, I was thinking you’d already maxed out in there.
“You can go back to sleep. I can go read or something. I’m not going anywhere. I just wanted you to know what I was doing so you wouldn’t worry.” I shrugged and wiggled as I spoke, trying to gently extract myself from Ryder’s grip, much to Dean’s amusement.
Just when I thought he was going to abandon me to my fate, he took pity on me and reached over Ryder and me, picking up Maddox’s hand.
“What are you doing?” I asked curiously as I watched him gently pull Maddox’s arm over Ryder.
“When we were kids, we all shared a room because we lived in this tiny apartment. Ryder was also a cuddle fiend back then as well, but I have a secret trick to getting free.” He looked at me with one eyebrow raised for a moment. “I need your word that you take this to the grave.”
Well, colour me intrigued.
I eagerly nodded, needing to know exactly what was about to happen more than I needed to breathe right now.
Dean gently tugged on Maddox’s arm, so he rolled closer and then tucked it between me and Ryder. After a moment, Maddox tensed and pulled Ryder closed, holding him tightly.
And then Ryder rolled, wrapping one leg over Maddox’s hip as he snuggled in.
Dean’s hand slapped over my mouth as I snorted and was about to laugh. I could feel a gentle shaking behind me as he pressed his face against my back to suppress his own laughter.
“Come on,” he said after a moment, slipping off his side of the bed and tugging me after him.
We slowly crept out of the room and I took a quick peek at the others before quietly closing the door. Maddox and Ryder were in full-blown snuggle mode and Tank lay flat on his back on the other side of the bed, completely oblivious to what was going on. He seemed in full-on hibernation, and to be honest, it made sense. They were all wiped from using magic that was completely new to them.
Dean strode into the study without even looking back, and I followed him curiously. He should be dead on his feet, and I’d need to convince him to go back to bed. I already knew he wouldn’t agree until I was ready to go with him.
I found him with the journal in one hand as he stood in front of the bookcase, looking over the spines of the books housed there.
“What do you recommend?” he asked, his fingers trailing across a couple of the books as he perused the shelves. “Something about Nymeria would probably be the most useful.”
“You should read the book in your hand, then. It’s a collection of everything my father thought would be useful for us.”
Dean looked down at the book and then shook his head, turning back to the bookcase. “No, this one’s for you. You should read it first and see what it was your father wanted to tell you. I’m okay with something else.”
There was something in his tone that pointed to a sadness he didn’t seem to want to talk about. It wasn’t surprising. Dean didn’t seem like someone who was really that open to talking about the past. Not that he was closed off. It was more like he’d just left it all behind. This was the first time I’d ever heard something that sounded like regret in his voice. Or, at least, the first time when the subject we were talking about wasn’t Damon.
“We’ll get him back, you know,” I whispered. Hoping I wasn’t going somewhere I shouldn’t.
Dean glanced over his shoulder at me and then seemed to see something on my face that made him turn and abandon his search. He gently placed my father’s journal on the desk and strode across the room to me. Pinching my chin between two fingers, he tipped my face up and gently kissed me.
“I love you,” he murmured. “I love that you can see to the centre of me and it doesn’t make me afraid. It doesn’t make me want to lash out and run. All I want to do is pull you closer and never let you go.”
The world fell away as I stared into his eyes and saw the love there.
“I love you, too.”
There wasn’t even a question of whether I did. My feelings for this man consumed me. I’d never thought my life would go this way. In the human realm, I did what I needed to keep everyone just a step too far away from me, to stop them from becoming attached. It wasn’t their fault. I couldn’t bear the thought of ever losing someone again. The pain consumed me and I knew falling deeper into that hole would end me. It was all I could do to survive.
But that need to stay away had never applied to Dean or the others. Even Tank had stayed close enough to chip away at those walls when no one else had been able to get close.
I didn’t want to avoid the feelings when it came to them. There was no point in trying to stop the love for fear of the pain that would follow. Because why would I want to be in a world without them in it?
We were mated. Bound. Where one of us went, the rest would follow. Willingly. Without question. Because it was where we were supposed to be.
Dean’s hands cradled my cheeks as his fingers gently pushed through my hair. He stared into my eyes like he was trying to commit every fraction of a second to memory.
“I don’t deserve you, but I’ll be damned if I’ll ever let you go, Alyssa. This world needs a queen like you. Part of me wants to be selfish and keep you all to myself. To run away and burn this whole place down as we go. But I can already see what you can do for them, and fuck if it doesn’t make me want to a better man so I can help you do it.”
“You are a good man, Dean. You’re one of the best I know. I see the loyalty and bravery you try to hide. I hate to tell you, but you’re not fooling anyone.”
He grinned, kissing me again before he took a step back. His fingers trailed from my face as he reluctantly let me go.
“The wolf in me wants to tear apart everything that stands between you and what needs to be done. But the man? The man in me knows we need every weapon at our disposal. I’m going to be strong, stronger than I’ve been before, and I’m getting my family back.” He opened his mouth to say something else and then changed his mind. A touch of sadness filled our bond and then was quickly pulled away.
“You don’t have to feel bad about talking to me about family,” I told him quietly.
Dean stepped away to grab the journal again and then he guided me over to the sofa in the corner of the room, pulling me down into his lap as he placed the book beside him.
“None of us really appreciated that we were shoving this idea of saving our brother in your face when you were still hurting from the loss of your entire family. What kind of men does that make us? We saw your pain. It was impossible not to and yet we forged on, anyway. I’m ashamed of the way we acted when we first met you. You don’t deserve…”
“Oh, hush.” I quickly kissed his lips and then settled in to get comfy. I could see the surprise on his face as I did. “Dean, you’re allowed to love your brother. My loss doesn’t make your pain any less. Besides, the fall of the Spring Court was nearly a lifetime ago. I won’t say it doesn’t hurt. I’m not even going to try to persuade myself that it won’t be a pain I’ll feel for many lifetimes to come. But coming back to Nymeria has made me realise something. I can’t run from this one tragedy all my life. Nymeria is filled with so much pain and so much death. Trying to avoid this place has done nothing but make Arik stronger. I have a power inside me, a gift. I owe it to the people here to use it. And I’m finally ready to. We shouldn’t abandon what we believe in just because we let our personal pain smother us. It’s time to embrace it, to use it to make a difference. To try to make these terrible crimes make some kind of sense.”
I never thought I’d find a way to move past the guilt of leaving this place. But the longer we were here, the more I was thinking there could actually be a way.
“I’ve been thinking about that.” Dean picked up the journal and passed it to me. “Your magic got stronger when you came back, when you bonded with us, and when you came back to this palace. Every step you’ve taken has strengthened your magic, right?”
I nodded, confused about what he was trying to say.
“That never could have happened if you hadn’t left. Hell, we hadn’t even been born when this whole thing started. This is a journey you were supposed to take, and it’s a journey that Fizzle and probably your parents knew you needed to go on.” He tapped one finger on the cover of the journal and I looked at it with fresh eyes. “You have nothing to feel guilty for. This is exactly what Nymeria needed you to do to be strong enough to make a difference, to save the rest of them from the man that no one else has got close to.”
“I… I…” My very foundation rocked at his words.
This was what I was supposed to do.
This was what Nymeria had set in motion all those years ago when it had made sure I was given into my parents’ care.
I… this wasn’t my fault.
The relief that swept over me had my eyelids fluttering closed. A weight lifted from my shoulders as a burden was finally released.
It was them.
Everything that had happened, everything I’d endured, it had all been to put me on a path to find them.
My magic surged inside me, warming every inch of my body as I finally embraced the thing I’d been almost ashamed of. The last piece of shielding I kept wrapped around the power I blamed for the start of everything cracked.
I was ready to accept it. To embrace it all.
It was ready to fight back.
My magic surged inside me and I felt a wrenched feeling in my chest. It was so sudden that I bowed forward, gasping for air.
“What’s wrong?” Dean asked, his hand threading into my hair as he pulled me closer, looking me over like he was trying to find a physical problem.
“I feel weird,” I muttered.
The magic rolled again inside me, but I was ready for it this time. A growing urgency that didn’t feel like my own flooded my system, and I could feel my body shaking as adrenaline surged through me.
My gaze darted to the door. Was this one of the guys? Was something wrong with them?
But the more I thought about it, the more I knew that wasn’t true. This wasn’t coming through the bonds. This was my magic.
“Weird how?” Dean shuffled on the couch like he was preparing to launch an attack on whatever unseen enemy he needed to save me from. Gently lifting me from his lap, he sat me next to him, his hands never leaving me as he checked me over. “Are you getting sick? Is this from using too much magic today?”
Now wasn’t the time to tell him I’d barely scratched the surface on what I was pretty sure I could do now.
Instead, I shook my head, trying to mask the soft grunt as my magic surged again inside me. “It’s not that. It’s the magic, but not because of overuse. I… I’ve never felt this before.”
It was that comment that made me think. If I’d never felt this before, then perhaps it had something to do with the magic I’d not previously had access to. Either that or I had some kind of terrible magic-eating disease, but letting my mind go to that place wasn’t helpful at all.
I tried to concentrate as the building power grew inside my chest, making me feel like a balloon getting ready to burst. I knew I needed to connect with this if I was going to understand it. But touching this much magic and opening my mind to it was actually kind of terrifying.
“Should I get Fizzle?” Dean asked, standing suddenly. He stepped towards the door like he was just waiting for my word before he’d make a run for it, then he turned and stepped back to me as if he couldn’t bear to leave.
If I wasn’t panicking about what was happening, I’d be looking forward to poking fun at him for it.
“No, I… I just need to…”
As the words were about to touch my lips, my mind opened up to the growing power inside me. It forced its way through my doubt before I had a chance to consider if this was what I needed to do.
And with it came the terrifying answer.
Surging to my feet, I was striding to the door before I could even think what I was about to do.
“Wake the others. We need to find Fizzle, Rhidian, anyone. The court is under attack.”
Dean didn’t question me. He didn’t for a second doubt what I was saying. He darted out of the door in front of me, moving to the bedroom and rushing for the guys.
“Wake up!” he shouted, tearing into the closet and throwing clothes at everyone. “We’re under attack.”
This was it.
Arik was finally making his move.